Disclaimer: Bella's 'poems' are real songs that I do not own.
BPOV
Every time I saw him watching me, I laughed, partly because of the fascination on his face, partly because of the impatience on his face. I wasn't sure how long I took, but finally I was done.
Dancing With Our Hand Tied
I, I loved you in secret
First sight, yeah, we love without reason
Oh, seventeen years old
Oh, how were you to know, and
My, my love had been frozen
Deep blue, but you painted me golden
Oh, and you held me close
Oh, how was I to know that
I could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets
Picture of your face in an invisible locket
You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it
I had a bad feeling
And darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis
People started talking, putting us through our paces
I knew there was no one in the world who could take it
I had a bad feeling
But we were dancing
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied
Yeah, we were dancing
Like it was the first time, first time
Yeah, we were dancing
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied
Yeah, we were dancing
And I had a bad feeling
But we were dancing
I, I loved you in spite of
Deep fears that the world would divide us
So, baby, can we dance
Oh, through an avalanche?
And say, say that we got it
I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted
Oh, 'cause it's gravity
Oh, keeping you with me
I could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets
Picture of your face in an invisible locket
You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it
I had a bad feeling
But we were dancing
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied
Yeah, we were dancing
Like it was the first time, first time
Yeah, we were dancing
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied
Yeah, we were dancing
We had our hands tied
And I had a bad feeling
But we were dancing
I'd kiss you as the lights went out
Swaying as the room burned down
I'd hold you as the water rushes in
If I could dance with you again
I'd kiss you as the lights went out
Swaying as the room burned down
I'd hold you as the water rushes in
If I could dance with you again
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied
Yeah, we were dancing
Like it was the first time, first time
Yeah, we were dancing
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied
Yeah, we were dancing
And I had a bad feeling
But we were dancing
Hands tied
Mirrorball
I want you to know
I'm a mirrorball
I'll show you every version of yourself tonight
I'll get you out on the floor
Shimmering beautiful
And when I break it's in a million pieces
Hush
When no one is around, my dear
You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes
Spinning in my highest heels, love
Shining just for you
Hush
I know they said the end is near
But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes
Spinning in my highest heels, love
Shining just for you
I want you to know
I'm a mirrorball
I can change everything about me to fit in
You are not like the regulars
The masquerade revelers
Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten
Hush
When no one is around, my dear
You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes
Spinning in my highest heels, love
Shining just for you
Hush
I know they said the end is near
But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes
Spinning in my highest heels, love
Shining just for you
And they called off the circus
Burned the disco down
When they sent home the horses
And the rodeo clowns
I'm still on that tightrope
I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me
I'm still a believer but I don't know why
I've never been a natural
All I do is try, try, try
I'm still on that trapeze
I'm still trying everything
To keep you looking at me
Because I'm a mirrorball
I'm a mirrorball
I'll show you every version of yourself
Tonight
"How do you get your ideas?" Edward asked.
I shrugged, "They just kind of come to me. They start swirling in my head until I write them, it's supposed to be cathartic," I explained. "I had two different ideas, so I wanted to get them written down, sometimes it's a full poem, or 'song,'" I put air quotes around song, I wasn't sure if that's what they were, I guess they could be either. "Sometimes it's just a line, sometimes they start out as just a line." My face was getting warm, I had never shared this with anyone.
"Can I read whatever you just wrote?"
I shook my head, "You know the deal."
He sighed, "Yes, I'm aware." He leaned closer. "Are any of them about me?"
"I already told you."
He shook his head, he wasn't satisfied with my answer.
"You said that you had never written as much as you had once you met me, but I want you to say it. I need vocal confirmation."
I bit my lip, and leaned closer, "All of them." His boyish grin was back. He paused to think for a minute.
"Well, I guess you'll have to wait until tomorrow to ask me questions. You don't have the journal."
"Have I ever told you that vampires have eidetic memories?" He gave me a crooked smile.
"Oh." Of course he had a photographic memory.
"Why Windemere?" he asked.
I thought about that for second, " I remembered reading about a bunch of poets, how they set off with their muses to live in the Lake District and never looked back. It's a nice idea, don't you think?"
"Yeah, it is," he said wistfully. After a moment, he added, "They are all very good. I particularly like Ivy." The impish smile was back.
"I like that one too." My head was down, my face blushing.
"Why 'ivy'?" He asked curiously.
"Well, it's a beautiful plant, it grows quickly, kind of like my feelings for you did, and then before you know, it's consumes you," I whispered, looking down at the table. "Okay, no more questions. I have homework to do."
"Actually, I did most of your work."
I glared at him.
He shrugged in innocence, "I needed something to work on, and besides you're not going to school tomorrow, you're seeing Carlisle."
I scoffed.
"I don't need a whole day for an hour doctor appointment," I said in disbelief.
"You shouldn't overdo it," he reminded me. "And you should eat something."
"Yeah, Charlie will be home soon." I got up, and started to make dinner.
"Charlie said you shouldn't be making dinner anymore."
"If it were up to you and Charlie, I wouldn't do anything anymore," I countered.
"Let me help you, at least."
"Do you even know how to cook?" I laughed, maybe there was something Edward wasn't good at.
He shrugged, "How hard can it be?"
I got tangled and tripped on the oxygen tank and cannula countless times, each time Edward stifled a laugh, and each time he caught me before I could fall. He was actually pretty good at cooking for someone who didn't eat. We ended up making steak and potatoes. I only took a few bites before I didn't want to continue.
"You should eat some more," the concern showed up in his voice.
I shook my head, "It's fine. I'm not very hungry."
Charlie came home not long after that. Edward 'left' once again. I didn't go upstairs right away. I had been making it a point to spend time with Charlie, sometimes it was the two of us, other times Edward joined us. Charlie and Edward had developed a good rapport between the two of them. I stayed with Charlie for a while before I grabbed my journal and went upstairs. After taking a shower, and taking a few 'human moments', I saw Edward lying against my headboard like normal.
Once again, the day's exhaustion hit me all at once. With Edward humming the same lullaby as he usually did, I fell asleep very quickly.
EPOV
Once Bella had fallen asleep, I grabbed her journal carefully so as to not to wake her. There were always phrases that stuck out to me usually because of how she saw herself and my future without her. Yesterday, when I brought up marriage, it filled me with sorrow at her acknowledgment to her lack of a future.
'I know they said the end is near'.
It just kept reappearing in my head over and over. It amazes me how talented she is. Each work was so different, but they all had their own sophistication to it.
'The masquerade revelers drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.' It was true people seemed so detached from Bella now, before they were all clamoring to be apart of her life, now they wanted to watch as she fell from the pedestal they placed her on. They were using Bella as some sort of sick, twisted entertainment. It was absolutely revoting. I recalled all of the thoughts that were formed as Bella walked through the hall. It angered me all over again.
I started composing in my head again, which helped take my mind off of everything. I knew she would be awake soon, so I begrudgingly left for a little. It had been more than 2 weeks since I had hunted, but I didn't want to leave her or to waste any time I had left with her.
Once home, Esme shared her concern for my lack of hunting and my absence from our house. She accepted that I wanted to spend most of my time with Bella, that the initial pull I felt to her was strengthening with each second.
It thrilled her that she would be meeting Bella today. She had heard both Emmett and Alice talk her up for the last week, so she was looking forward to today. She didn't even know Bella yet, but was ready to mother her like she did the rest of us. She had planned to cook for her, I laughed, maybe Bella's innate people pleasing would finally get her to eat. I didn't stay very long before going back to Bella. She was still sleeping when I came in through her window.