Disclaimer: I own nothing. Bella's poem is a real song, that I do not own.
BPOV
It was strange driving myself to the reservation, Edward had been driving me around in his car for the last few months. I drove onto the reservation, up to Billy's house. Apparently my truck was loud enough that Jake heard from his garage. He ran up to me and pulled me into a bear hug almost lifting me off the ground.
"Where have you been? It's been forever," Jake said with a goofy grin. This couldn't have been more different from the Jake that I saw at prom. My assessment was right, Edward brought out the worst in Jake. It was a little ridiculous considering they didn't even know each other, but I suppose the whole natural enemy thing strains any potential friendship.
"I know, it's hard to make it down here," I confessed.
"Let me guess, he doesn't let you." His tone quickly changed to disgust when talking about Edward.
"No, and drop the hostility, Jake," I said sharper than I intended to.
"Sure, sure." And with those words he was back to my friend, Jake. He looked down at my bag. "Nice," he said laughing.
I pushed his arm playfully, "Why does everyone hate on the bag? It's the easiest way to cart this thing around," I laughed.
It was easy to feel comfortable around Jake.
We sat in his garage talking about anything, he explained more about being in the pack, wolf telepathy, imprinting.
"Can I ask you something?" Jake said after a minute of silence, his face became more solemn, it looked unnatural on Jake's face.
"Shoot."
"How long?" He took a deep breath.
"For?" I asked before understanding what he was asking.
"How much time do you have?" He asked much more gravely.
"Oh," I said quietly. I cleared my throat. "I-I don't know, Jake."
"Come on, they must have given you an idea at least?"
"I don't want to know," I whispered.
"You can just not know?" His voice raised a little. I bit my lip and shrugged.
"Carlisle's my doctor, Charlie and Edward know, but I-." I chewed on my lip and muttered, "it's not something I want to know."
We sat in silence for a few minutes, I twirled the ring on my finger. I realized that was a mistake as soon as it caught Jake's attention.
"What is that?" Jacob glowered, menacingly eyeing the ring.
"An engagement ring," I whispered, not liking the rage that was forming on Jake's face, it looked even worse and more unnatural than the solemn expression earlier.
"You're going to marry him?" Jacob exploded. Then stayed silent. It took him a minute, but then it looked like he had just reached a new conclusion, a much more fatal conclusion. "You can't be serious, you're going to let him change you." The rage in his voice was clear, I tried to keep a calm expression.
"Yes, he's going to change me," I tried to make my voice sound more confident.
"You can't- the treaty- they can't. I won't let them." He was pacing the garage, throwing and kicking anything in his path. I tried not to flinch at the loud clanging sounds each time he threw something.
"I wanted to talk to you first, Jake," I admitted gently.
"You wanted what? My permission. The answer is no. You know what we'll do to you. I won't have a choice," Jake ranted.
"This is what I want, Jake. Edward is who I want," I declared defiantly, trying not to get upset. I stood up, to move away from Jake's throwing range. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but it still felt safer.
"For a second- just for a second, I thought. But he's made you crazy, you've completely lost it. You've known each other, what, less than a year? And you're going to marry him? He's like a drug for you, Bella, you're addicted to him. You do realize that they're not even alive?" Jake's anger was rising with each second. He was almost unrecognizable. I remained wordless. I wasn't sure there was anything I could say at this point to calm him down, this wasn't the Jake I knew anymore.
"It makes me sick. You'd be better dead than one of them," he spat out, viciously.
I took a step back, it felt like I had been slapped across the face, like I had taken a physical blow from Jake's words. I had seen Jake get angry, it had just never been directed at me. It was almost too much to have all that anger pointed at me.
"I can't believe you just said that," I whispered, my throat was constricting from the emotion. I was petrified for a second from the shock. His words hit so much harder that I think he intended.
I turned and walked out of the garage, of course I wasn't paying attention, and I tripped on an unknown object. Jake grabbed my arm to catch me. Jake's strong grip kept me upright, I ignored the slight pain from his tight hold. Jake immediately released me and I walked off as fast as I could. I felt cowardly, but there was nothing to be said right now. Anything I could have said through the emotion would have been a lie to comfort Jake.
I ignored Jake yelling for me to come back, and I loaded my bag as quickly as possible. I drove off my breath uneven from practically running away. When I was off the reservation, the tears unwillingly fell down my face. I angrily wiped them away. By the time I got to Charlie's house I had managed to mostly compose myself, but I was grateful neither Edward or Charlie were there to witness my emotional state.
I made my way up the stairs, which winded me. I took a shower to calm myself and to kill time. After I was done, I sat at my desk and started writing.
I had been writing a lot lately. It was partly my way of saying goodbye to Edward if I didn't survive, I knew that my odds were better but it still was enough to worry me. I always tried to remain optimistic in front of Edward. I had sent a text to Edward telling him I was back home, but not to rush. Right now, I wasn't writing about Edward, at least not entirely.
Innocent
I guess you really did it this time
Left yourself in your warpath
Lost your balance on a tightrope
Lost your mind trying to get it back
Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?
Always a bigger bed to crawl into
Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything
And everybody believed in you?
It's alright, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent
You're still an innocent
Did some things you can't speak of
But at night you live it all again
You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now
If only you had seen what you know now then
Wasn't it easier in your firefly-catching days?
And everything out of reach
Someone bigger brought down to you
Wasn't it beautiful running wild 'til you fell asleep
Before the monsters caught up to you?
It's alright, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent
It's okay, life is a tough crowd
16 and still growing up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent
Time turns flames to embers
You'll have new Septembers
Everyone of us has messed up too
Minds change like the weather
I hope you remember
Today is never too late to be brand new
It's alright, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent
It's okay, life is a tough crowd
16 and still growing up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent
You're still an innocent
Lost your balance on a tightrope,
It's never too late to get it back
I felt a draft coming from my window, and turned to see Edward sitting on my bed.
"Mmm...you're getting good at that, maybe I'll need to be sneakier," Edward said playfully, before examining my face. Then his expression changed entirely, "Is everything okay? You look like you were crying."
I'd hoped that Edward wouldn't have noticed.
"Yes, everything is fine. Don't worry," I said trying to sound truthful.
"Bella…," Edward sighed. "What happened?"
"Nothing really, you were right, it was a mistake going there." I willed myself not to get emotional again, suppressing the memory of Jake's harsh words.
"Come here." He patted the spot next to him. I smiled and walked forward, it was only the pull of the cannula that reminded me to grab it. I could hear Edward snicker.
"I hate this thing. It drives me nuts," I complained. When I sat down next to him, I took off my sweater to climb under the covers. Edward immediately sucked in a breath. I wasn't sure what he was gasping at so I met his eye-line. Even though he had just gone hunting his eyes had turned black again. He was furiously looking at my arm, there was now a black and blue bruise on my arm. You could faintly see the contour of Jake's hand.
"What did that mongrel do?" Edward snarled.
"Nothing, I tripped and he grabbed me, it's f-,"
"Do not say it's fine, Bella," Edward snapped.
"But it is, I bruise very easily, it could've happened to anyone."
"And yet, I've caught your arm many times, and I've never left a bruise, especially one like that, Bella."
I shrugged, the logic was there, but deep down, I believed Jake really wasn't trying to hurt me, "Maybe I fell more violently than normal?"
It felt strange defending Jake after the angry words he had flung at me today, but I did it anyway.
I laid my head on Edward's shoulder, "Please calm down, Edward. It's okay, I'm okay."
He nodded tersely.
"Edward, please let's just drop it, I know he didn't mean it," I pleaded.
"You think I should be as forgiving as you are? We can't all be saints and martyrs, Bella."
"I'm hardly a saint, Edward. And a martyr?" I questioned, trying to keep the exhaustion off of my face.
"Please don't worry about me and my temper, it's just very difficult to see you injured, Bella."
I knew this wouldn't be the end of this conversation, but I was too tired to continue. I laid my head on his shoulder.
It wasn't until I woke up that I realized I'd fallen asleep. I found Edward in the kitchen making dinner.
"You didn't have to do that," I said softly, grabbing Edward's hand.
"I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to. Besides, you looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you." He pulled me into him, kissing me lightly. After a minute, he pulled away, and I laid my head on his chest. It was like the world fell away when I was in his arms.
I kept my sweater on the rest of the night so neither Charlie nor Edward would have to see the nasty looking bruise.
The next day, we were back at the Cullen's house. Everyone was home, so it was a little different than our normal routine. Edward insisted that Carlisle look at the bruise as it had gotten darker over night.
I rolled my eyes, "Edward, everyone knows that bruises look worse the day after."
"No, Bella, I can assure you that not everyone knows that," he fumed. He was still pretty upset about the whole thing. Emmett walked into the living room where Carlisle was looking at the bruise. At first I could see the protectiveness forming on Emmett's face, but I waved dismissively to let him know that it was fine. Unlike Edward, Emmett took me at my word.
"Trying to walk and chew gum again, Bella?' I could always count on Emmett's genial disposition to break the tension, even if it was at my expense.
"No, Emmett, I got into a fight with a werewolf," I sighed.
"Badass," Emmett laughed.
"I knew you got into a fight with him," Edward groaned in exasperation at having his suspicions confirmed, I hadn't wanted to confirm his suspicions. I heard Emmett chuckle slightly at Edward's remark.
"Well... you have fun with that, Bella. It's been a while since he walked around all brooding," Emmett teased and walked off.
"I do not brood." Edward's voice boomed in annoyance. Carlisle snickered next to me. Carlisle agreed that there was nothing wrong with the bruise, that it would fade on it's own, and there was no need to be concerned.
"Well, are you happy now, Edward? There's nothing wrong with my arm," I declared.
"No, now I'd like to know what the two of you were arguing about."
"The argument had nothing to do with my arm, it was an accident, Edward."
"And what happens next time? He 'accidentally' breaks your arm," Edward snapped.
"There's no need for me to go back there," I whispered, trying to suppress the sadness as I recalled Jake's words. They hurt more than I wanted to admit. Even though I didn't hold them against him, the words were still too fresh in my head. I think Edward saw the hurt on my face. He looked at me with a much more gentle expression and pulled me into a loving embrace.