Jamie shivered, waking up in Spencer's room covered in sweat and shaking. She weekly pulled Spencer's hoodie tighter around her body and curled as much as she could into a ball around her stomach. Her long red hair was plastered to her skin and everything about her felt gross.
Sweaty. Cold. Sick. Used. Pathetic.
She closed her eyes tightly trying to block out her own voice in her head, but how does one run from their own mind? Jamie felt a sudden wave of nausea and leaned to the side far enough that she could throw up into the trashcan Reid had put by the bed, barely making it.
"Hey, easy now" Emily walked into the room and pulled Jamie's hair back gently, securing it in a loose bun with a scunci. She helped Jamie into a sitting position and pulled the trashcan up and into her lap.
The last few days had been a team effort while Jamie detoxed from the drugs. She had become violently ill, she begged for them to give her drugs, offered them anything for them including herself, but the worst part was the hallucinations. The team never said it but they were all thinking it, she was reliving a handful of her worst moments in her life, and they heard every scream and every plea for help that they knew Jamie had screamed over the last year.
When did she get here? What was the last thing you remember? Spencer …. Singing… movie? Tangled that's right. God you are stupid you can't even remember anything. Moron. Jamie shook her head trying to rid the voices from her mind.
"I don't feel good," Jamie mumbled nearly inaudibly as she looked around scared, "Sp-Spencer?"
"He is just taking a quick shower, he will be right back soon." Emily looked her over, slightly pleased that her color was coming back. She was grateful for every small win.
Jamie nodded slowly looking at the bathroom door watching for Spencer to come back, tears prickling in her eyes worried that he really wouldn't come back for her. That he would see her for the wreck she was now and walk away.
He is showering because he touched you. Because you're filthy, anything or anyone you touch it will infect.
Jamie's fever and tormented thoughts ended up spilling over into tears while she contemplated that everyone she loved would leave her, realizing everything she already knew about herself: that she was used up and worthless. Eventually they would see that and understand that they wasted their efforts to bring her back, they would resent her for the burden she became, that the men who held her for the last year had been right all along. They may even wish to send her back, and a part of her wanted to go back, maybe that was the worst part of all of this.
Emily sat by her, gently rubbing circles into her back trying to ground the young girl with soothing words and gentle touches. Morgan peaked his head into the room hearing the sobs and then knocked on the bathroom door, "Reid get out here, Jamie needs you."
A second later the water was shut off and a short moment after that Reid was outside dressed in his pajama pants and t-shirt, he was still damp when he dropped down on his knees next to her.
"Sweetheart, Jamie, I'm right here." He whispered softly to her, brushing her hair out of her face.
"I don't feel good…" Reid nodded and reached for some medicine that would help the nausea and a grape gatorade, "take this love, small sips okay"
She sipped the cool liquid and dropped her head so that she was tucked into her chest trying to block out their faces and her own thoughts. She made herself as small as possible wishing she could disappear.
Hotch sat in his office pouring over every detail they had, trying to will the evidence to track the bastards who hurt his little girl into existence. Hotch was more than motivated to solve this, he was vengeful. He wanted to do more than hunt them down and arrest them, he wanted to kill them, He wanted to offer Jamie the ability to kill them. While he knew he would stifle this and only act within the law, he couldn't help but think of all the ways he could make them pay for what they had done.
He hated them with every fiber of his being. He also hated that catching them would most likely come from making Jamie relive her worst moments in her life, them attempting to snatch her again, or watching the gut churning evidence they collected. Hotch snapped at the thought of this, slamming his hand across his desk knocking everything to the floor then storming out of the office and to the car.
He drove as quickly as he good to Spencers apartment and sat outside looking up at the fimly liit window. He wanted so badly to walk up there and hug his kid, instead he chose to sit outside so she wouldn't be harmed by his presence. He let himself cry for a split second, covering his face before wiping them away.
"Get a grip on yourself" he commanded. He took a deep breath before deciding to sit watch all night outside of their place.