BPOV

It had been about a week since Jake's arrival. Today him and I were taking Renesmee for a quick hunt, but also to give Jake some time to shift. Right now, we were walking through a grassy field. Renesmee was amazed by everything around her. She picked flower and showed each one to Jake and I. Whenever we reached a part of direct sunlight, she giggled in glee at the way my skin glistened in the sun. It was with the same awe I had when seeing Edward in the sunlight for the first time. Renesmee's skin didn't quite refract light like ours did, hers looked more like an ethereal glow of some sort, she could walk in the sun and still pass as a human.

Suddenly Jake and I caught a whiff of a nomad. I faintly recognized the scent, Laurent. It was luck that Jake had been in wolf from, he would protect Renesmee at all costs.

"Jake, get Renesmee out of here," I whispered, just loud enough so only he could hear, but it was too late. In a flash, Laurent about a meter away front of us. I immediately and gently put Renesmee behind me, with Jake right beside me a low growl building in his chest.

"Jake, now," I demanded more forcefully.

He was looking at me with pleading eyes, like he didn't want to leave me alone with him. I didn't want to be left alone either, but I needed to protect Renesmee and the child that was growing inside of me, that was my priority. I was wearing a baggy enough sweater that my bump couldn't be easily seen, but as soon as Jake and Renesmee left, he'd hear the heartbeat emanating from me.

"Go, it'll be alright."

"Momma," Renesmee cried out and reached out to grab my hand. My heart clenched to hear the sadness and fright in her voice, but I needed to protect her right now. I wouldn't subject her to the dangers that surrounded us. I vaguely remembered something I had read as a human. Childhood was the kingdom where nobody died, at the age of seven I had been thrust out of that kingdom and faced a slew of medical trials and tribulations. My parents did their best, but there's wasn't anything anyone could say to sugarcoat the fact that I was dying, it was that simple.

Perhaps I didn't understand the complexity of mortality and death but I understood that there would be a day where I would just not wake, where I would just be gone. A day where my parents would find me no longer alive and be faced with the insurmountable grief that came with outliving your child. I would not force my own daughter out of those gates, not yet. She would get more than the seven years I had received. If I had any say, she would never leave that kingdom a day before she had to.

"I'll be right behind you, sweetheart. I promise," I cooed as I placed her on top of the large wolf. I tried not to think about whether this was a promise I could keep or not.

Laurent kept his eyes on Jacob, it made sense, horse-sized wolves were incredibly intimidating. I wasn't even sure why he'd approach with Jake here.

Jake looked at me once more. I gave him another reassuring nod and he took off.

"Why are you here, Laurent?" I snarled. I'd hoped that this time I could stall long enough for help to come, I wasn't in any condition to fight him. I wouldn't risk our little baby. The hummingbird heartbeat was very noticeable right now.

"I'm here as a favor to Victoria. Although I'd be lying if I didn't say that you have piqued my interest."

"You were with the Denali's. Why are you still helping her?" I asked, genuinely curious about his constantly changing alliances.

"I do whatever is most convenient. Before it was the Denali's, now…" he trailed off, shrugging.

"Why does Victoria care about me?" I wanted to confirm Jasper's theory. Did she want me or Edward? I wouldn't let Laurent or Victoria harm Edward.

"She believes it's only fair that she kills you considering Edward killed James. A mate for a mate."

I kept a completely neutral expression while he continued. I could run, but where would I go? Jake would have told Edward where he had left me, and he could easily find me instead of tracking my scent. I could outrun Laurent and make it home, but I couldn't lead him even closer to my family. So I would wait and see how this interaction transpired.

"Although it may be a waste to just kill you, I've never heard of such an unusual thing. An immortal that can procreate, an incredibly valuable gift. I'm sure many people would be interested to know that. I'm sure that the Volturi would be interested to know, especially about that little girl of yours, and that heartbeat, very intriguing indeed."

"Go to hell," I growled, but made no move to attack. My fist curled in, my nails dug into my palm.

"It's interesting, isn't it? Despite all their best efforts to keep you alive, still you seem to attract death. First as a human with a fatal disease, and now even in this afterlife. Always on death's doorstep. Have you ever considered that it would be best for you to submit to your fate?"

I knew his words were just a ploy to get under my skin, but even with that knowledge I flinched a little. I had thought extensively about whether or not I would always be on borrowed time.

"Ahh...so you know it's true, don't you? That maybe you don't belong on this Earth? I'd be more than happy to take care of that. I'd make it quick, of course. Whereas, Victoria would kill you slowly and painfully or perhaps she'll take you to the Volturi and let them do as they please."

It had been already been few minutes, I could only hoped that someone would come to help me. I hated that even with newborn strength I needed someone to save me, I couldn't continue to play damsel in distress.

I forced myself to stand taller, "Listen here, you asshole. There's nothing you can tell me about me, my life, or my disease that I don't already know. But I refuse to have an existential crisis based on some vampire's determination of my own fate." I wasn't sure where I had gotten this confidence, but I wasn't about to show him just how deep his words had cut gotten.

I heard the low growl coming to the side of us. The slight breeze blew the the wet-dog stench toward our direction.

The wolves. As soon as Laurent saw them, he bolted. The wolves gave chase. One slightly slowing to eye me, if it was the heartbeat or the recognition I wasn't sure.

I breathed in a sigh of relief, we were both okay. Edward arrived only seconds later.

"Bella, are you alright? Are the two of you alright?"

I nodded wordlessly.

"Bella, what happened? Where's Laurent?"

"The wolves," I whispered. They didn't know about Renesmee, Jake hadn't returned since he imprinted on her, and today was the first day he had phased into his wolf form. I wondered what brought them this far from Forks. Had they found out about Renesmee through their wolf telepathy, if they hadn't they must have heard the mysterious heartbeat coming from me. I didn't want to add the wolves to our already full plate.

"Bella? Are you certain you're alright?"

I swallowed the knot forming in my throat, "Yeah, not even a scratch, I promise."

And it was true, physically I was completely unharmed, but I couldn't stop playing Laurent's words in my head. Suddenly all of the insecurities and doubts washed over me, wave after brutal wave.

Always on death's doorstep.

Always on borrowed time.

Once we returned home, Renesmee ran to me.

Renesmee clung to me for the remainder of the entire evening, even though she didn't actually see any fighting, our defensiveness made it clear to her that there was danger. She had been terrified for me and her new sibling. I felt so incredibly guilty about so obviously failing her. When she started dozing off in my arms, I raised her warm hand to my face and watched her dreams again, I was relieved to not see any nightmares or lingering fears in her sleep, at least not yet.

I didn't want to let my baby girl go, but I knew whatever came next needed to be discussed and planned out.

As I walked out of the room, I saw a furious Jacob waiting for me to walk far enough away from the Renesmee's door, just so we wouldn't wake her. I gently closed her door, and steeled myself for what was coming.

"Never put me in that position again, Bella," Jake seethed.

"Back off, Jacob," Edward demanded, placing a hand on Jake's shoulder. Jake aggressively shrugged it off.

"You could have been killed. And you made me pick between my imprint and my best friend, that's not how it works, Bella. Do you know how badly that would have messed Nessie and I up if something had happened to you?"

"Renesmee needed to be protected, Jacob," I repeated, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision I had made, but I understood Jake's perspective. How was I still messing everything up so badly?

"There were other ways, Bella," Jake huffed. "You're not expendable, Bella."

But wasn't I? If I had to choose anyone in this family to be expendable, it would always be me. It would certainly be easier for everyone if I was just gone. They would be safe. So why wasn't I expendable?

"I'm sorry Jake," I whispered in his shoulder as wrapped his arms around me.

"Don't do that again," he whispered against my hair.

"Okay."

"Sam's waiting for an explanation," Edward said after Jake released me from his bear hug.

"What are you going to tell him?" I asked Jake.

"The truth, I guess. Not like I have much of a choice, they'll get the full story whether they want to or not," Jake said, tapping his temple. Right, wolf telepathy. Jake hadn't shifted since we had reconnected, so I guess it wasn't that big of a surprise that they would come looking for him. I was actually surprised that they hadn't come looking for him sooner. That was probably how they found me in the woods.

"We should all go," I added. I needed to thank the pack, they had saved me today. And I figured that they were going to know about the baby sooner or later.

"You should take it easy, Bella," Edward insisted.

"I can't sleep anymore, remember?" I partially joked.

"I said rest, not sleep. We'll be quick. I promise."

I begrudgingly nodded. And with a quick peck from Edward, they left.

I kept an ear outside as I wrote a lullaby for Renesmee, to fend off all of the fears and monsters lurking around the corner.

Safe and Sound

I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'll never let you go
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said don't leave me here alone
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down
You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now
Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound

Don't you dare look out your window, darling everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold onto this lullaby even when the musics gone, gone

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down
You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now
Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound

Just close your eyes, you'll be alright
Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound