Rose Hathaway

The feeders weren't overly busy and Lissa was able to get right in. I didn't really care for watching her feed, so went to the waiting area instead. About ten minutes later Lissa came wandering out, looking healthier than I had seen her in months.

"You look good Liss." I said smiling at her. "You feel better too." Lissa gave me a sidelong glance and I mumbled a sorry. I was trying not to use the bond to much while we were out in public.

"I really do." Lissa said after a moment. "I went through three feeders." She added guiltily. She knew that how I felt about feeding. It is one of the reasons we went two or three days between feedings while we were away. That and the fact that I didn't want to grow addicted to it.

We made our way to the cafeteria for lunch, Lissa telling me about some of the funnier things that the feeders had told her about their lives. I pretended to be interested, as I looked around at the people we passed. They were all in small groups talking, but would pause and watch as Lissa and I passed by. Both Lissa's and my anxiety started growing.

"It's okay Liss; I think it's about me this time. I had a meltdown in Stan's class."

"Oh. What did you do to piss him off this time?" she asked as a smile spread across my face, but faded when she saw my expression.

"It wasn't that kind of meltdown. He kept pushing me and I snapped. I blurted out some things that had happened while we were away." I told her honestly.

"You didn't tell about the…"

"No, I didn't tell them about that. They know about the Psi-hounds and that I killed at least one Strigoi, though." I said as we neared the cafeteria door. The cafeteria was its usual noisy and chaotic self, until people began noticing that we now walked through. With each table we passed, the room grew more and more quiet.

"Lissa, Lissa," a voice called out. I saw fast movement to my right and automatically launched myself into a defensive stance in front of Lissa, a growl of warning escaping my lips. Natalie, Victor Dashkov's daughter, slowed her steps and approached us carefully.

"Sorry, Nat, it's just habit nowadays," I explained.

"Oh, it's okay. I understand." She said, though I doubted she really did. She then launched into quick, rambling sentences as she followed us through the lunch line. I tuned her out and started piling my tray with food. I looked back and saw Lissa's tray was still empty, so added a bowl of yogurt and some berries to it."…anyways, I just wanted to let you know, that if you wanted to, you could sit with my friends and I today." Natalie said, finally getting to the point.

Lissa looked at me, asking through the bond to agree with it. I gave a small shrug and followed them both towards Natalie's table of friends. I had just sat my tray down and was pulling out my chair, when I felt a set of arms go around my waist. Before I could spin out of their hold, I felt lips against my ear.

"Hey there Rose, glad you're back. Things were awfully dull while you were gone." Jesse Zeklos murmured against my ear. Jesse was crude, but was also the obsession of a lot of girls' wet dreams. He was just over six feet tall with platinum blonde hair and blue eyes. I turned my face towards him and smiled right before I jabbed my elbow into his side.

"Hands off the merchandise, Zeklos," I admonished him. Jesse backed away a couple feet and held his hands up in surrender.

"So the rumors are true then?" He asked, his eyes lighting up. I really wasn't sure what he was talking about. I was sure there were probably over half a dozen rumors racing around the school about me though.

"All rumors have some basic truth to them, Jesse." I said sarcastically. "What do you want, anyhow?"

"Just wanting to invite you to a party in the Royal Moroi lounge tonight, it'll be fun."

"I'm under lock and key, but I'll see what I can do." I smiled at him. I probably shouldn't attempt any party going right now, but after today, a few drinks wouldn't hurt.

Jesse walked off and I took my seat, answering Lissa's stare with a shrug. I ate in silence as Natalie launched into another round of nonstop chatting with the other girls. I started replaying the story my mother had told me of her first Strigoi kill. My mother never really took a vacation leave, at least not as long as I could remember. Maybe what happened in Italy was why she was afraid to do so now. No, that couldn't be it. My mother sported not only eight Molnija marks, but also two Zvezda marks. It had to be something different.

I replayed the story over and over in my mind, each time a new word would stick with me. Italy, Strigoi, Ibrahim, Pavel, and then it hit me, Turkish Whiskey. She said she and Pavel drank Turkish whiskey. Was Ibrahim Turkish? My mother had said once before that my almond complexion and my dark hair and eyes came from my Turkish Moroi father.

"Rose, are you okay?" Lissa asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, I just remembered something I needed to ask my mom. Will you be okay if I go search her out?"

"Yeah, Nat shares the next class with us so I'll just walk with her." With Lissa feeling safe with my choice, I dumped my tray and headed toward Alberta's office. I knocked on the door and peeped inside to find it empty. I decided that maybe she was at Guardian Housing. We were supposed to be getting a room in Guest Housing, so maybe she was gathering her things.

I wandered in and was stopped by a Guardian in charge near the door. I explained that I was looking for my mother, but he assured me she wasn't there and that she had already moved into Guest Housing. I was already tiring of the goose chase and decided to head on to my next class. My mother knew my schedule and I was sure she would appear at some point. Why find her, when she would find me?

I caught up to Lissa and Natalie halfway across the commons. Lissa asked if I had found my mom and after my answering no, she launched back into conversation with Natalie. Apparently a lot had happened in the year we were gone. I trudged along behind them half listening as thoughts that maybe I finally had a name for my Moroi father.

I didn't see my mother in any of my afternoon classes. I shrugged it off; figuring she probably had a guarding shift. That was what she said she was going to talk to Alberta about. I was exhausted by the time we were released from our last class.

"Jesse Zeklos invited you the party tonight. I wonder if Ray is going to be there too. They are good friends after all. I wonder if I should go, but if I went, I wouldn't know what to wear. Maybe I shouldn't go. It's not like he ever notices me anyways. Rose, do you think you will go? Lissa said she is going to. It's a Royal party after all. She has to keep up appearances as a Dragomir Royal." Natalie's sentences ran on, not allowing for an answer before she launched her next thought aloud. She finally paused for a breath.

"I don't know. Kirova has a stiff no social life clause as part of my being allowed back at school. I'll see what I can do though." I placated her. Truthfully I wanted to go, but I was beginning to think that not having a social life might do me some good.

"I heard that the new kids from Russia are going to be there. Well the girl is at least. I'm not sure about her brother. Have you seen him yet? Oh my God, he is a dream. They're Dhampir, I can't remember his name, but his sister is named Viktoria. If you see him, you will know exactly who I am talking about. He's huge, taller than most Moroi around here. If I knew Daddy wouldn't be upset with me, I would stop pining after Ray and try my chances for the Russian God. That is what people are starting to call him." Natalie was rambling again. Didn't she ever need to breathe?

I was just about to hug Lissa bye, when my phone alerted me to a text. Pulling it out of my pocket, I found two words from my mother.

You're late

Shaking my head, I told Lissa I'd catch up later and headed to the gym. I walked in to find my mom in a pair of yoga pants and a fitted t-shirt. For thirty-eight years old, I had to admit, she was more fit than most twenty year old humans. I hoped I still looked as good when I got old.

She was sitting in the middle of the gym, stretching out. I dropped my bag near the door and walked over, joining her.

"Hey mom," I questioned, carefully looking into her face to see her reaction to my next question. "I know it was sort of a passing moment, but I had a question about earlier today." She paused in her stretches and sat up straight.

"If I can answer it, sure, go ahead."

"Well, I understand now and I'm starting to forgive you, but you said you were on leave, vacationing in Italy when you killed your first Strigoi." I hesitated, waiting to see if she reacted badly. At her nod, I continued on. "Well I don't ever remember you mention taking a leave or going on vacation before. I know you haven't in the last two years. Is what happened in Turkey part of why you don't?" I asked

"Well yes and no." She began to answer my question, but then her face softened. "It's been hard on you, not getting to see me often, hasn't it?" She asked her own question. I shrugged not really committing to an answer either way. "I thought I was doing well by trying to keep you from getting too attached. You know, in case one day I wouldn't be able to come. I think I made us both suffer too much from that decision."

I was a bit taken back from her admission. I still wanted to ask about Ibrahim, but decided to not ruin the moment just yet. I never knew my mother to be so open and caring. I blinked away and completed another set of stretching. When I looked back at my mom, she smiled and cocking her head towards the door said, "Come on, let's go run. It does wonders when you need to settle your mind. You're eyes tell me something is troubling you. When you're ready to talk, I'll be here, if you need me."

We made four laps on around the track together. I was about to ask throw caution out and ask my mother the question that was weighing me down, when I saw a dark haired girl enter the track and begin running. "Bet you can't catch me Dimka!" She called out over her shoulder towards the gym. It was then that I noticed a really tall, dark haired boy jogging up from behind her. With a thought of, who would name their son Dimka, I turned my attention back to keeping pace with my mother.

After another eight laps my mom slowed down and jogged into the open field in the middle of the track. "Weights or Sparring?" she asked me. Honestly I was too tired for either one. "You'll feel worse come tomorrow, trust me, I'm going easy on you by giving you a choice of the two. I could just make you do both."

I knew I was ready to ask her about Ibrahim, but the thought of her allowing a hundred plus pounds to crash on my chest didn't seem ideal. "Sparring, but can we get some water first?" I said. Hoping that maybe I could block most of her hits. We ran over to the drinking fountain and refilled our water bottles. I took long sips as we walked back towards the field.

"Spit it out Rose." I think we've been waiting long enough for whatever is really on your mind." My mother said without ever looking at me.

"Is-was Ibrahim my father?" I near whispered. My mother flinched back. Maybe I was wrong, I shouldn't have asked, or maybe I should have worded the question differently.

"Rose, it would be better if we didn't discuss your father. It's complicated, you know that."

"Mom, I just want to know. I don't mean to upset you. Could you at least tell me if he is still alive?"

"Yes, Rose, your father is still alive. Come on; let's get the sparring over with. I'm about ready for a shower and a hot meal." Her face went back to her usual Guardian expression.

My mind was preoccupied and she was able to pin me in a matter of minutes. She chastised me to clear my head and get it into the fight. I was able to concentrate on blocking her quick jabs and kicks for a little longer the second time around.

"If I give you something, will you let it rest for now?" My mother asked, giving up after she pinned me for the third time in less than ten minutes.

"Yes."

"When I met your father, it was love at first sight. We loved each other more than anything in this world, but he is a business man that deals in things that really push the boundary of legality. When I discovered I was pregnant with you, we both thought it would be best if you grew up without him in your life. It was a hard decision. One that has hurt all of us in some way, but because of his shady business dealings, it is safer that you do not know one another."

She had never really explained why my father was absent. I had always assumed it was for the same reason that many Moroi fathers weren't part of their Dhampir children's lives. I never expected her to tell me they had loved one another. It was a bittersweet knowing that I would not learn my father's name, but that I was created from love and not a result of some one night stand or worse.

Accepting that I would get nothing more, I pushed it from my mind and crouched down, ready for the first time to spar. My mother was good. I really had to work at blocking her offensive attacks. Just when I was beginning to learn a few of her tells I was pulled into Lissa's head. Not a good time, Liss, I thought.

Lissa was back in the church attic, I knew by the window above her head. She visited there often before we left the academy when she was missing her parents and brother. I felt her jerk, and we were suddenly spinning around coming eye to eye with Christian Ozera.

I was pulled roughly from her head, as I felt something hard meet and bounce off my eye. Wincing and yelling "Ow" I brought my hand up to cover the watering traitor and looked at my mother's horror stricken face.

"Oh my God, Rose, are you okay? What happened? You were blocking so well, and I realized too late to pull back that your mind had wandered off again. I am so sorry." She said as she pulled my hand away and looking at my eye. Her eyes narrowed in concern. "It's already bruising; we better get ice on it."

As I followed her off the field, I glanced around with my one good eye and saw that no one had seen except the two dark haired strangers. Well there goes getting out of this with one less rumor. Of course, I guess walking around sporting a black eye wouldn't really help either.

Remembering the real reason why I had earned a punch to my face, I made a note to myself to tell Lissa to stay away from Christian Ozera. He was a loner and watched everyone with a strange stare of disinterest. More than that though, both of his parents had chosen to turn Strigoi. He always looked angry and depressed. I was scared one day he would go off the deep end and follow his parents' footsteps. Lissa didn't need to get mixed up with someone like that.

My mother led me into our new home and I settled in a chair as she brought me an ice pack from the freezer. I placed it over my eye and tried to enter Lissa's head again. I slipped in without much trouble.

"I'm not joking," An angry Lissa snapped at him. What had I missed? "I just want to be alone."

"Why, I enjoy a good pity party. What are we going to wallow in self-loathing about first? Loss of popularity, or I know, the shirt you wanted was sold out when you went to order it?" Christian asked as he leaned against the slanted wall. He looked pretty calm, so why was Lissa so angry?

"Just leave me alone. Either leave or let me leave." She said, pushing past him.

"Hey, wait. Can you answer one question, please?" His use of the please stopped Lissa in her tracks, piquing her curiosity. "What was it like, out there, away from the academy?"

Don't talk to him about that Lissa. You can't lie very well and I am sure he has heard the rumors. "It was great, full of rainbows and unicorns." She said sarcastically. Good job, Lissa! I thought. He was beginning to piss her off again with his haughty expression at her reply.

Turning to leave again, he stopped her once more. "Will you at least answer one question truthfully?"

"What is it this time?" came her snarky answer.

"Of all the rumors, and there are a lot of them. Especially about your cohort, one hasn't been spoken of as much. How exactly did you feed out there?" he inquired. Lissa didn't answer, instead turning her gaze to the floor.

"It was Rose, wasn't it?" He sounded almost sad. Lissa blanched, ready to deny his assumption. "Don't worry about it. My aunt raised me around humans. I know it isn't easy to acquire a feeder." Lissa still kept her gaze turned away from him.

"Please, you can't tell anyone." She begged him.

"Look, your secret is safe with me. I don't have anyone I could tell. I'm the academy's black sheep remember? Eternally shunned because of what my parents did and all." He gave a dark laugh and stood aside to let her by.

I was shaken from the vision. "Rose? Rosemarie?" my mother was calling out. "Are you okay? I didn't think I hit you that hard."

"Mom no, I mean I'm fine. Really I am. I was just in Lissa's head."

"What are you- in her head? What do you mean?"

"It's a thing with the bond. When she gets real emotional she sucks me right in. It's what happened on the field. It's why I didn't see your fist flying at me."

"Are you okay now? Is she okay?"

"Yeah she's fine. We're both fine."

My mother watched me for a few moments longer and when I didn't make a move to talk she stood up and walked into the small kitchenette. "I hope you like canned soup. Otherwise, we will have to go to the cafeteria for dinner. I figured we could eat here tonight. Give that ice some time to work some magic on your eye." She called out. I almost told her to just call or go get Lissa, but realizing I had already slipped and told her more than I should about the bond, I told her anything would be good and clamped my mouth shut.