Ms. Grimblehawk, perhaps you could give your account of events. I know Harry was conscious for more of it than you were, but he didn't see it from your perspective and, in fact, was dead for a moment of it.
Of course, headmaster. Right. I woke up in a cage. It was dark and cold! Someone, probably Crouch, had changed me into a white robe. Wait! That haliwr probably saw me naked!
Some of us do speak a bit of Welsh, my dear.
Sorry! Can we get our clothes back, by the way? Been in these robes for hours.
Oh, certainly, my apologies. I'll see they're brought up presently.
Anyway, I was in a cage. Harry was in the ritual circle. I recognized everybody. I think I could see further down the hill than Harry, because I was hoisted up. Nott had a little table set up where he was mixing potions. I think the vampire is pretty scared of Harry: she was really close behind him and watching hard. They probably expected him to pull off an escape, even with all they'd done.
I figured out pretty fast that my cage had a lot of space between the bars. I could have probably squeezed out even in human form! But that would have tipped them off. And I could see it was a long way down to the rocks below. I didn't want to get dropped on those in a cage! It would be much harder to squeeze out, even if I hit the water and survived. No on drowning!
And we had to stop the ritual, so I knew Harry was going to have to try to do something. I got ready. I was hoping to time it for when they were distracted. But then that… big jerk… decided to just kill me off. I had never managed the animagus transformation that fast before! Falling to your death is a motivator.
Ah, yes, Minerva informed me that you had your breakthrough recently. I asked your uncle to help us file your registration as quietly as possible with the Ministry for just such a circumstance where our enemies would not be aware of it.
Right. So, in my animagus form I'm way smaller. I managed to jump out easily through the bars, and catch onto the side of the cliff. It's a little harder to climb rocks than trees, but I figured it out. Problem was, I didn't have my wand. Harry's been trying to teach me to do wandless, but I'm not there yet. I was basically looking for a moment I could jump out and bite someone, or steal something, or use my monkey strength to trip someone.
Gorilla warfare, you know?
Is something funny, Alastor? Very well, please continue.
I couldn't figure it out fast enough. They finished. It was like Harry said, You-Know-Who came back, all snakey. I'm still figuring out the animal senses thing, but I don't know that he's really human. Or human-adjacent! I think he's basically just driving a dark magic meat puppet, basically. And then he killed Harry and I lost it.
The smart thing to do would have been to get away at that point, I know. And I knew that the rings Harry made us couldn't, like, shoot Apologies at people. But I just saw red and forgot all that. I'd gotten back onto the edge of the cliff a ways down. They didn't see me in the dark. I changed back to human, and tried to shoot the soulfire charm at You-Know-Who. Hey, it worked on a dementor!
I'm glad it worked out the way it did. I don't think Harry was dead more than a second or two. Glad I didn't burn out the connection on the rings, or that it didn't, you know, go into the wrong person because I wasn't really focusing.
After they killed Harry, they'd put their wands down and got that stance. You know, the whole gloating bad guy thing? So they didn't even notice I was there. They ducked like I was really casting at them. I thought it didn't work, so I went back into monkey form and hid down the cliff where they couldn't get to me.
What? Harry! What?
I think Harry is worried that wasn't the best tactical choice. Tom is known to be one of the few wizards able to self-levitate sufficiently to approximate true flight. And, if Bram Stoker's novel is to be believed, elder Black Court vampires may develop the ability to climb like spiders.
Oh! Dracula, right? We skipped that one, but maybe we should get it on video. I think Cary Elwes is in it. Don't know why they cast mostly Americans for the main parts, though. Keanu Reeves' accent seemed awful, from the trailers!
But, yeah, I went down the cliff, which at least distracted them. Harry did his thing while I kind of scampered away from where I dropped off. Then the whole wands connecting thing, and the lightshow, and I realized Harry had lived after all. Or I'd brought him back! I got in position to yank the vampire off when she was distracted.
I don't think she died, though. Probably too tough. I bet she's even more mad at me, now. I better get one of those jars of powdered garlic. Harry, remember that we need to get a whole bunch for the new flat! Maybe some ornamental crosses.
Anyway, then it was time to go. I feel bad for Sirius Black. But I'm pretty sure he got the snake. He was aiming for the rocks when they went past.
And that's about it.
Thank you. Our next step, I believe, is to send aurors to the site. I believe I'm familiar with the location. Perhaps Kingsley and Alice, for a start...