Notes: So... anyone else headcanon Harry as demi-romantic? Because I totally do and I'm pretty sure it shows in this chapter.
Chapter 4
The house isn't exactly small. But given that space was segmented into three bedrooms, a basement, and a semi-open plan living and kitchen area meant that there really isn't a lot of space for two people inside the house to avoid each other.
But after a particularly awkward breakfast experience, Cisco and Harry make a go of it anyway.
Harry gives up on the house entirely and spends time outside on the swing in the backyard, ostensibly reading. Though when Cisco glances outside, Harry's in the middle of flipping his book right side up and Cisco wonders how long Harry was staring at the book upside down.
In turn, Cisco hides in the basement lab after breakfast. He's already finished the wifi device, though it still needs more testing. The white noise generator for his sleep vibing hit a snag the other day and he just doesn't have the focus it needs to finish it yet. He's also hit a wall trying to find a way to help Caitlin and Frost, so he's in no hurry to go back to metaphorically smacking his head against that particular problem. He ends up settling on playing the piano some more, finally checking through the bench seat's selection of piano books to find an actual Hanon workbook, a couple of fake books, and some collections of easy classics.
And, eventually, Jesse comes downstairs. "It's nice to hear the piano getting played again. I don't think I've touched it since before I started living in the dorms at college."
"Harry mentioned that your mom played the piano too," Cisco said, letting his hands go still.
"She did. And... your brother who died, he was a pianist, wasn't he?"
Cisco turned around. "Yeah. Dante was a concert pianist. Are those cookies I smell?"
"Yes. Apology cookies. I jumped to conclusions this morning and made a mess of things, didn't I?" She held out a platter. "Sorry."
"Well..." Cisco sighed and stood up, heading over to snatch up a cookie. "You aren't wrong about how I feel about your dad."
Jesse beamed. "You know, when you two came back from your Earth, I thought I was going to be hearing that you were finally dating now. I know dad's in love with you Cisco. I don't know why he won't just say so."
Munching on the cookie, Cisco shrugged. "Just because he likes me doesn't mean he's comfortable being in a relationship with me. Or maybe he doesn't want a relationship at all, no matter how he might feel about me." He glanced over at the shelves full of notebooks. "I know he's never really gotten over your mom and that's..." he sighed and shook his head.
"That's not fair to you," Jesse grumbled. And then sighed, grabbing a cookie for herself as she set the plate down. "But I don't think that's it. Dad did this thing a few months ago, when I came to Earth-2... er... Earth-1 to help with your bomb problem. He shared some of his memories and feelings about mom with me. And it is still very painful for him to talk about her and how much he lost when she died and that's... everyone grieves differently. But he's not trying to stay true to her memory or anything like that. He's been on a few dates here and there before. It could be that he thinks he's not worthy of you, or something like that. Or he knows it'd be serious with you and he's scared."
Both theories made sense. But it could be a lot of other things too. He might think Cisco was too young and immature to get involved in, considering he was only twenty-nine to Harry's fifty-five. Or maybe he thought he was too old for Cisco. It was quite an age gap. Twenty-six years was a lot. It didn't really make much of a difference to Cisco. But it might be too much of a hurdle for Harry to deal with.
Whatever Harry's issue - or issues - were, Cisco did want a chance to argue his case. To... try and convince Harry not to run from what they could have together. Cisco was willing to wait if Harry needed time before starting something, but...
But his pride still smarted from Harry running away that morning. Cisco needed a little space to get over that first.
"Harry mentioned your mom composed her own music and that I could play some of it if I wanted. Would you be alright with that?" he asked, blatantly changing the subject.
Jesse beamed and nodded, allowing the topic change. "Let me find you my favorites."
However... something caught at Cisco's thoughts. "Hey, Jesse... when Harry shared his thoughts and memories with you... what did he use?"
The afternoon finds Cisco super focused in on a potential repurpose of the mental activity dampener to help Caitlin work around what both he and Caitlin strongly suspected was a mental block that was holding Frost back. He was attempting to figure out the math behind it all, which would then inform the amount of redesign necessary and determine whether he had to create a new device from scratch or if one of the two existing prototypes could be reworked to this purpose. It was something of a gamble because a psychological block wasn't exactly something that could be proven with scans, but not only did that fit with DeVoe's known power set at the time he forced Frost to turn back into Caitlin... Caitlin herself had spent nearly half her life repressing Frost with a mental block that didn't break down until the whole traumatizing mess with Zoom and Earth-2's Killer Frost happened. That this was a new version of an old song made far more sense than any other theory about what might have happened to Frost.
And thanks to Harry's adventures with the Thinking Cap, Cisco knew a lot more about manipulating a person's brain than he was entirely comfortable with. But here it came in handy. If there was no mental block and Frost was just... gone... then, by the time Cisco finished the redesign, there shouldn't be any negative side effects for Caitlin. But if Frost was still in there then this should give her a wake up call that would help both of them work towards overcoming the block.
It takes him a little while to realize he's being watched. The door to the lab opened and shut so silently that Cisco didn't hear it and the steps leading to the basement are free of creaky boards, but he can almost feel the weight of Harry's stare. So Cisco comes to a stopping point on the equation he's working and turns to face Harry.
They stare at each other for a long moment and then Cisco figures that since Harry showed up, he might as well get the ball rolling before the silence gets too awkward. "Look, I want to apologize. I put you on the spot this morning and I shouldn't have and... I didn't get into bed with you trying to start something. I just thought you'd sleep better with someone else there."
"I did sleep better with you there," Harry responded, sounding a bit startled. "I didn't think you were... that never - never - even crossed my mind." Harry hesitated and then came over to sit down at the lab table beside Cisco. He brought Cisco's notebook closer to himself so that he could look at the equations and a despondent expression manifested in his eyes. "I miss this. Not just... being able to understand and innovate scientific advancements but... being able to do that with you."
"So do I." Cisco hesitated and then said, "no one ever just... got me the way you did. Working with Eobard Thawne I was always ever the student and it showed. And he made it very clear that he neither needed, nor valued, my input in our collaborative works once the ruse was over. Ronnie was fun to work with but he... didn't always get what I was saying. And Hartley and I could be on the same wavelength science wise but our personalities clashed so hard that we'd be arguing the same point and still spend half an hour shouting over it. But with you... things just clicked. I was really glad when you decided to stay with us again. Even if you were being all bitchy over your ongoing issues with Jesse."
"I think I might actually prefer the term 'bitchy' to 'salty ass attitude'," Harry muttered.
Cisco laughed softly. "It was about more than just having you there doing science with me, though."
"I know. There's more to... to us than this." Harry pushed away the notebook. "But the life I've always known is lost to me. And fifty-five feels like it's pretty old to be starting over from scratch."
"Not that old," Cisco protested.
"Twenty-six years older than you, though. I'm nearly twice your age. And a... a dirty old man for thinking of you the way I do."
Cisco smirked and leaned in. "I think I want to hear more about the way you've been thinking of me. Exactly how dirty are we talking, here?"
"Ramon!"
"Dude, your Hugh Hefner wannabe doppelganger flashes me and you say 'you're welcome' but I ask what sexy thoughts you've been thinking of me and you turn into a blushing prude?" Cisco chuckled as Harry's face went bright red. "That's unexpectedly adorable."
"Shut up," Harry grumbled, pouting. "I'm regretting this already."
"Yeah, well, having you run away when I thought you were about to kiss me this morning kinda stung, so it's nice to know you do find me attractive after all." Cisco turned away, feeling that morning's hurt all over again.
"I'm sorry." Harry sounded genuinely regretful. "I just have... had a lot of reasons for not telling you how I feel."
"So, there's something I probably ought to tell you. About my powers. Sort of this weird thing they do when I get stressed out."
Harry frowned and tilted his head to the side. "I know they give you headaches sometimes..."
"Yeah, they do that too. But when they're not giving me a stress headache, they... I... I subconsciously vibe someone whose presence would help me feel calmer. Not like, full on vibe, but like... the sound of their voice or what they smell like... or just a general sense of their wellbeing at the moment. Which kind of sounds weird when I say it out loud so I just... generally don't talk about it." Cisco fidgeted uncomfortably.
"That's... not weird, Cisco. It makes a lot of sense as a way to... soothe yourself, especially if the person you're vibing is someone you're concerned about." Harry hesitated. "Do you vibe me sometimes?"
Cisco nodded and glanced over. "It's not something I even realized I was doing until I felt Cynthia doing the same thing with me. It started happening more and more after the first time I created an intra-dimensional breach. Barry's comms would get cut off and suddenly I'd just... know if he needed backup or was on his way back to STAR Labs. Or I'd get stuck on a problem in the lab and I'd get the sense of you at that moment. Sometimes you were as frustrated as I was or you were pleased about something or..." Cisco shrugged. "When Caitlin went missing after Frost took over completely, I'd get a sense of her perfume when I got worried. Frost kept using it, even though she claims to completely hate all of Caitlin's style choices. I didn't really understand what was happening with them yet, but it gave me hope that Caitlin was still in there. Then it started happening more frequently with Cynthia when we started dating and I realized I could sort of feel when she was vibing me in return. And it was... nice. But kind of a pain to get out of the habit of now that she and I have broken up. But... I tend to vibe you... a lot."
"Oh." Harry sounded a little lost.
"It's... not... I'm not trying to check up on you or anything like that. I just... get frustrated and suddenly I can sort of hear your voice. Not what you're saying, just... the sound of your voice. Or I can smell your body wash or..." Cisco's face felt hot and he let out a shaky breath, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. "I feel steadier because of your presence. And I have for a long time."
"I don't understand why." Harry's voice was plaintive. "I've committed murder. I've lied about my failures even when doing so put people in danger. I broke a promise to you that ruined my health. The way I treated you while I was obsessed with being smarter than DeVoe... I'm an awful person and you've seen me at my worst. Repeatedly."
"I've also seen you at your best, Harry. You're a good father and a devoted friend and you never let me talk down my contributions or feel unappreciated. When you screw up, you get back up and try again. And for all that you pretend not to, I know you care so much it hurts."
Harry shifted and looked around nervously.
"You make me feel special, being the focus of your interest," Cisco continued, though he smiled ruefully as he added, "but if I'm making you feel old then I guess that's not really so great."
"You don't make me feel old," Harry refuted immediately, though he took a moment to gather his thoughts before saying, "I can't really say you make me feel young, either. You just... make me feel, Ramon. You make me feel so much and I thought... I thought I'd never feel like this about anyone again. Not after Tess. And that... scares me sometimes. Because I am so much older than you and such an utter mess. Even more now than ever. I don't know that I have anything worthwhile to offer you. I could live the rest of my life with you. But one day you'd have to lose me, like I lost Tess. And I don't want that kind of grief for anyone. Especially not you."
"And I don't want to lose you one day and regret never having tried." Cisco considered pointing out that he could easily be the first to go, given how dangerous being Vibe could be. Or he could trip going down the stairs or...
Harry was scared enough about how vulnerable the idea of being in a romantic relationship made him feel. No need to stoke that particular fire further.
"I just... I need some time. To figure myself out," Harry said.
"Okay." Cisco stood up and closed the distance between them. "You're worth waiting for, Harry." Then, before he could overthink things, Cisco pressed a brief kiss to Harry's cheek. Then he stood back. "Come on, it's after lunch, but I got so caught up I worked through it. Think we can convince Jesse to make some apology brownies? Because brownies sound excellent and what are the odds she's finished all the rest of the cookies already?"
Harry brought his hand up to his cheek for a moment and, slowly, his mouth curved into a shy smile. "She's definitely eaten them already." His hand dropped away and he stood up. "I'm sure we can talk her into brownies easily enough."
Cisco makes an effort to give Harry a little more space and breathing room after that. He reminds himself not to sit too close, not to lean against Harry's shoulder, not to... he doesn't want his feelings and desire for a romantic relationship to make Harry jump into anything he isn't really ready for.
Even if it winds up being that Harry's never really ready to have something romantic with him. Cisco loves being Harry's friend, so if that's the only relationship they ever have then it's still a wonderful relationship to have.
And Harry seemed to be giving Cisco space too. Though the crumpled up, half-scribbled out poem about Cisco's hair isn't the last one Cisco finds that is maybe dedicated to him and he collects them in his room, smoothed out and tucked away in his nightstand.
But even with finding some crafty things to do and diving headfirst into trying to develop his poetry skills, Harry seems like he's at loose ends. And Cisco isn't exactly surprised where that winds up leading Harry, eventually.
"Cisco I, uh..." Harry dropped on to the couch next to him. "I need to, um... I need you to explain some of this to me. The parts I don't understand." He thrust a tablet at Cisco.
"Uh, sure. What..." Cisco looked at the screen and it was a website detailing rehabilitation treatments for brain injuries. "Okay. Yeah, uh... where do you want to start?"
"While I don't have problems with communication, the... speech and language rehabilitation model might... be something to consider for myself. If I work at relearning math and sciences..." Harry huffed a sigh. "I don't have any illusions that I'd get it all back, but I'd like to be able to understand and appreciate the work you or Jesse do. I can't even understand her schoolwork from this last semester."
Cisco nodded. "Alright, well... let's take a look. So this one is about treatments for brain injuries that cause aphasia..."
They spent a few hours, going over not just proven rehabilitation methods but also some of Cisco's ideas for facilitating further healing. Harry's brain damage had a singularly unique cause and his exposure to dark energy meant that there was a... pliability to Harry's brain that others suffering similar injuries wouldn't have. It was what made his brain susceptible to a cascading failure in the first place, but had also made it possible for Cisco to restore his mind afterwards.
"I'd want Ryan and Caitlin's input on this if you decide you wanted to start treatments," Cisco finished.
Harry nodded slowly. "And it wouldn't be healing the damaged part of my brain, just... helping my neural pathways build new connections more easily and at a faster rate than they currently are," which was a pretty accurate summation of the effects of Cisco's theoretical treatment idea.
A low level electric field generated around Harry's brain - very, very, very low level, generated by an electric mesh, perhaps - could help regenerate the lowered neural activity in Harry's brain and promote healing. In combination with rehabilitation along the lines of speech therapy, but focused on math and science instead... it could help Harry reconnect to his pre-existing understanding of the fields.
"Don't tell Jesse," Harry finally said. "She'll try to push for more than I'm ready to try." He shook his head, smiling wryly. "Too much like me that way."
"Alright. Do you want start figuring out where you stand where it comes to your current math and science levels?" Cisco tried to consider how they'd go about that. Some high school math and science work books maybe? Or, well, maybe start a little earlier than that and work forward until they started to find where Harry was at now.
"Yeah. I... I think so."
Cisco brought up Earth-2's more ethical Amazon equivalent and they started looking at math and science workbooks.
When the mental activity dampener - which is now more of an amplifier - was ready for Caitlin to take a test run, Cisco breached over to Earth-1. And Harry tagged along.
"Uncle Cisco!" a blur appeared from nowhere, wrapping her arms around Cisco.
He laughed and hugged her back. "Hey Nora."
"And Uncle Harry!" Nora grinned and bounced. "Hi."
"Hi Nora," Harry replied, smiling back though he was clearly... surprised by how happy she was to see him. And possibly by the fact that she considered him to be her uncle too. He eyed the way she was vibrating in place right in front of him before asking, "what, no hug?"
Nora laughed and bounced forward, giving him a hug too. "Just wanted to be sure it was okay."
"Perfectly fine, kiddo," Harry replied, looking pleased.
"So, you're bringing back Aunt Frost today?" Nora asked, still clearly bursting with excitement. "This is gonna be so schway."
"Now I know how Joe felt the first time I said yeet around him," Cisco muttered, getting a snort of amusement from Harry. "Yup, this would the mental activity amplifier," Cisco handed the device over to Caitlin. "All goes well and we should get to say hi to our frosty friend."
Caitlin looked it over and then, carefully, placed the amplifier on her head. Cisco adjusted the fit for her and then, when she nodded, he flipped it on.
Almost instantly, her eyes turned an icy blue. "Cisco?" asked Frost's voice, not Caitlin's.
Her eyes returned to brown a few seconds later. "I can hear her," Caitlin breathed out, relieved smile lighting up her face.
Ralph let out an excited whoop and hugged Caitlin. "Can Frosty hear me?" He asked, grinning brightly.
"She says 'don't call me Frosty'," Caitlin reported, hugging him back with a laugh.
"Yeah, yeah, I've missed my bestie." Ralph beamed and let her go, making way for Iris and Barry to offer hellos to their missing friend too.
"Alright, so, only thirty minute increments with at least an hour between sessions," Cisco instructed Caitlin. "This should help you with overcoming the block on your own, though, and eventually the two of you shouldn't need it anymore. And Frost?" Cisco waited for Caitlin to nod in acknowledgement. Frost was listening. "I've been working on a suit for you. Should be ready for you to try on soon. All your style, I promise."
"Yeah, she says it better be, 'cause she's not wearing some pale pink monstrosity." Caitlin rolled her eyes. "There's nothing wrong with wearing pink."
Cisco laughed. "Dark blues, promise."
Harry's hand landed on Cisco's shoulder. And Cisco's focus narrows down to that touch. He can't help but lean into it. Looking up, all Cisco can see is the pride on Harry's face and he knows he's done good.
Harry disappears with Caitlin at some point when Cisco's distracted and it makes him antsy. He distracts himself chatting with Nora and then cheerfully jumps on a chance told baby Jenna for a while.
"She's going to need to be changed soon," Cecile warned.
"That's fine," Cisco replied, cooing at the adorable bundle in his arms. "I used to babysit my cousin's kids in college, before she moved out of state. I got very good at diaper duty."
Jenna still had that soft-baby smell and waved her tiny little hands around. She's absolutely gorgeous and...
Cynthia hadn't wanted kids. And Cisco has no idea if Harry would want to have another child. But... Cisco wants to have a kid. Or at least the option of it, though holding Jenna like this makes Cisco all the more certain he wants a child of his own one day. Biological, adopted... doesn't matter. He just wants a chance to be a dad. And he can't honestly say that knowing Harry is already a good dad isn't part of the man's appeal
He's changing Jenna's diaper when Harry and Caitlin come back. Cisco can almost feel the weight of Harry's stare on him. But he finishes up and hands Jenna back off to Joe before finally looking over at Harry to see that... wistful expression on his face. The same one Harry'd worn when he'd seen the photograph of Cisco holding Jenna a few weeks ago.
And, well, it makes Cisco suspect that Harry isn't necessarily opposed to raising another kid.
This is something Cisco really needs to discuss with Harry before they make any decisions about their future together. He doesn't want go through what he did with Cynthia all over again. To fall ridiculously in love with someone only to realize what they want is too different to compromise over.
Though... it's probably too late for the whole 'falling ridiculously in love with Harry' thing.
The evening after the math and science workbooks arrive, Cisco's not surprised to hear the sound of one of them being thrown across the living room in a fit of frustration.
"Harry?" Cisco put his tablet aside and raised an eyebrow.
Harry actually looked embarrassed as he retrieved the workbook. "I just... don't get the word problem. I can see what the setup should be, but... even with the explanation right there for how to solve it, I can't." He sighed. "I'm glad Jesse's not here right now to see me get upset over this, though if she thinks she's fooling me about what's going on with her and Allegra..."
Cisco snorted in amusement. Those two were almost as obvious as, well... Cisco and Harry were. "Anything I can do to help with the word problem?"
Harry shook his head. "I honestly don't think you explaining it will help any either. I just... can't make the connections right now. And..." he heaved a sigh. "I'm just frustrating myself trying to do more. There's something... there's something else I want to talk to you about."
"Okay?" Cisco had a feeling he wasn't going to like this.
"I don't... I don't want you to take this the wrong way. And you probably will. But I..." Harry ran a hand through his hair. "I don't want you involved in creating whatever treatments I wind up undergoing for... improving my brain's healing process."
Throat tight, Cisco absently rubbed at his chest. Tears pricked at his eyes and he said, "right, yeah, I think I'm taking it the wrong way."
Harry grimaced. "I'm not... communicating this well. I know. But... you blamed yourself when I didn't... get everything back in one shot."
Cisco's voice shook. "You said you didn't blame me."
"I don't. I don't, oh, Ramon..." Harry got up and closed the distance between them. "Cisco. I blame me. I was basically addicted to that thing." He took Cisco's hands in his. "I used it for anything and everything, things I shouldn't have used it for. I felt like... I couldn't think without it anymore because my thoughts were too slow."
"Harry..."
"I did this to myself. And maybe I don't deserve to have lost what I did, but I still... I'm still at fault. But that's... that's not..." Harry let go of Cisco's hands and ran a hand through his hair, turning the already messy curls into a bird's nest. "I know what I'm like. When I have bad days because my recovery isn't progressing as I'd like or I'm just in a shitty mood for no reason... I don't want this to be something I can throw in your face just because I'm spoiling for an argument."
That really didn't make Cisco feel any better. Even though Harry was absolutely right, that's exactly the sort of thing Harry would do when he was in the sort of mood where he didn't think through the consequences of his actions or words.
"I realize I need to work on not doing that kind of thing in the first place, but I just..." Harry covered his mouth for a moment, fingers teasing over his lips for a moment when he pulled his hand away. A self-soothing move Harry tended to make when he was stressed.
Cisco was a little surprised that... he wasn't vibing anything to do with Cynthia in response to his own stress. At least that habit seemed to have finally been kicked.
"Harry, if you want me to hand off what I've got thus far to Caitlin and Ryan, then I will. But... I..." Cisco takes a shaky breath. It's like there's a vise on his chest and Cisco's not entirely sure why he hasn't started crying yet. "I don't like this."
"And I don't want you to blame yourself again for slow progress or whatever, down the road," Harry insisted.
No, he'd just keep thinking he was past blaming himself for what happened during the initial restoration process and then get metaphorically kicked in the chest down the road, apparently. Cisco stood up, grabbing his tablet. "I'm just going to get everything ready to turn over then."
"Ramon..."
"I'll be in the basement," Cisco continued, dodging Harry's attempts to latch onto him. "I really don't think cutting me out of this is the best course of action. But if you don't think I'm mature enough to handle being a part of your treatment team -"
"That's not fair," Harry interrupted, following after Cisco.
"- then I won't push the issue." No, he'd be passive aggressive about it, but there was that... panicky feeling curling in on him now over the idea of trusting someone else with Harry's well being. Cisco hated it. "You should make the decisions you feel are best about your own medical care." Then Cisco wrenched open the basement door and shut it behind him before Harry could catch up. He flipped the lock and then turned on the light, settling onto the first step of the stairs.
The doorknob rattled. Then there was a banging on the door. "Ramon!"
"Just leave me alone, Harry," Cisco snapped back, louder and angrier sounding than intended. "I need some time alone."
There was silence and Cisco almost expected that he'd have to breach back to Earth-1 to get his space, but there was no sound of keys in the lock. Just a soft thud and a shushing noise that might've been Harry leaning against the door in order to slide to the floor.
"Alright, Cisco," Harry replied, voice somewhat muffled through the door. "Whatever you need."
What he needed? Cisco had no idea.
So he just buried his face in his hands and began to cry.
Theoretically, Cisco gets why Harry doesn't want him involved with determining Harry's treatment plan going forward - assuming Harry even decides that's what he wants, though he's clearly leaning in that direction now that he's had time to come to terms with things. They're too close for Cisco to say with one-hundred percent confidence that their relationship won't affect his judgement. And Harry's right that Cisco would blame himself if things went wrong or at least not well. And there are a few other reasons Cisco could list once he actually calmed down and thought it over.
Didn't mean that he wasn't still feeling shitty about it when he went with Harry to turn over his research notes and one of the inter-dimensional wifi boosters to Ryan so that he could consult with Caitlin. He gave Ryan a quick tutorial over how to use it to log into the Earth-1 internet and then went over his notes thus far with both Caitlin and Ryan, with Harry listening quietly with a look of incomprehension that didn't suit him and made Cisco feel sick with guilt. Then he let himself out of the lab.
He was wearing the Armando disguise again, so he watched people pass him by. There were a few glances here and there at his visitors badge, but no one questioned who he was or why he was there.
Eventually, though, a familiar face arrived. "Cisco! Dude, hey, how's it going?"
Cisco smiled at Chester's excited expression. "Well, it's... ah... it's going. That's for sure." And then he grimaces because he's pretty sure Dr. Wells - Dr. Eobard Thawne, rather - had given him that exact response a time or two.
"That bad, huh?"
"Just woke up in a bad mood, to be honest," Cisco admitted. "I could use some fun science to cheer me up, but Harry's... talking business with Ryan, so I'm stuck for that unless I breach back to my lab or something."
"Well, how about I show you some of what I've been working on in the Quick labs?" Chester bounced. "Dr. Wells would always tell us that you were the most brilliant mind he'd ever worked with, so I wasn't really surprised when he couldn't resist going back to Earth-2 to work with you again."
"Is that what he said?" Cisco asked, surprised. Because, well... Cisco wasn't really feeling like the most brilliant mind around at the moment.
"Both Dr. Wells and Jesse speak really highly of you," Chester insisted with a grin. "I can't believe you call him 'Harry'."
Cisco remembered being just as star struck about Dr. Wells - the fake Eobard Thawne - and it's so... weird to be seeing it from this side of things. Harry's just... Harry.
"Well, we needed a way to differentiate him from our Earth's Harrison Wells," Cisco responded absently.
Chester opened the door to his lab and waved Cisco in. "Having two Dr. Wells around at the same time... that had to be awesome."
"Too much ego for any Earth to handle at once," Cisco corrected. "My Earth's Dr. Wells is dead. And it's a really long, complicated story." Admittedly, having HR and Harry in the same place had been entertaining - and HR did still have an ego on him, even if he had been more laid back and silly. His insistence on calling Harry 'handsome' had been hilarious.
HR probably would have liked Chester a lot.
"So I've been working on gravitational wave emitter," Chester said, gesturing to a half-made device on the work bench. "It's gonna be super cool once it's ready."
Cisco grinned, giving the device itself a once-over before turning towards the blue-prints. "This really awesome." Though there was something twigging at him as he flipped through the designs. "Though, uh... I'm not sure it's going to work."
"What?" Chester frowned. "What's wrong with it?"
"Right here," Cisco said, gesturing to the top sheet of the blue-prints, and then paging through to a few other pages. "Built to this exact design, it's not going to output to match the equations you've got worked out here." He tapped the initial design sheet. "Pretty sure you'll create a small singularity instead."
"Oooooh." Chester was flipping back and forth, eyes going wide. "Shit. I wouldn't have seen that without you pointing that out. Even Ryan didn't see that. Damn, man, you are good." He sighed loudly. "I'm gonna have to rework that entire section of the design."
"Well, if you don't mind a little collaboration..." Cisco offered.
"Yeah, I'd love your input." Chester bounced happily as he led the way over to the drafting board.
At least someone did, Cisco thought before giving himself a little shake and following after the younger man.
It didn't take long to fix Chester's design, much to Chester's clear surprise.
Cisco is a little worried he's just earned the guy's hero-worship. Which is a terrifying thought. But Chester is distinctly looking at him very much like he looks at Harry.
Nope, Cisco's not thinking about that implication there at all.
He winds up perusing some of the other projects left out to look at. Including... "hey, Chester, who's working on this project?"
"Uh... that's Dr. Choi's workspace," Chester said. "Why?"
"Just... I've seen this kind of work before. A friend of mine worked on a really similar project, though he had the power source squared away first. It was getting the suit and the person inside to shrink and grow that really stumped him." Cisco grabbed a sticky note pad and scribbled, 'try dwarf star alloy for a power source' on top. Then he stuck the note to the top of the designs. Which is right as Ryan and Harry came into the lab.
"Hey, Dr. Choi, come take a look at this. Cisco found a problem with my gravitational wave emitter and then helped me come up with a fix for it," Chester called, already working on dismantling part of his prototype so he could rebuild it. "I think I'm only gonna be delayed about a day, all thanks to Cisco's help."
"What was the problem?" Ryan asked, crossing the room to peer over Chester's shoulder as he moved back over to where the plans - old and new - were laying next to each other.
While Chester and Ryan went over the changes to the emitter design, Harry came over to stand by Cisco and he smoothed his fingers over the sticky note on Ryan's desk, clearly recognizing Cisco's handwriting. "I see you're doing your usual thing. Making things better."
"Yeah, well... I had to do something with my time." Cisco shrugged absently. "So you're done here for now?"
Harry nodded, looking guilty and uncomfortable. Which made Cisco feel guilty and uncomfortable in turn.
"How about we pick up some Big Belly Burger on the way home?" It was the best peace offering Cisco could make.
"Triple triple sounds good," Harry agreed. "Ryan, we're heading out."
"Alright, see you both later," he said with a wave. "And Cisco, if you feel like doing a little work for Team Quick..."
"If you guys actually need me, I'd be happy to." Cisco followed Harry out of the lab and the building, which was always a little weird to see full of employees over here. Somehow, Cisco had gotten used to the empty halls on Earth-1.
At Big Belly Burger they went inside. It was just late enough that the lunch rush was over, so Cisco was able to grab a booth with no neighbors while Harry grabbed their drinks. The soda tasted better over on this Earth - real sugar instead of corn syrup would do that, though - and Cisco was pleased when Harry put a root beer in front of him. Their silence, however, was pretty awkward while they waited for their order to arrive. But once it did...
"Harry, look, I'm sorry," Cisco said at the same time Harry said, "Ramon, I shouldn't have..."
They froze. And then Cisco smiled and Harry chuckled, the sound low and enticing in his throat.
"Harry," Cisco repeated, "I'm sorry. What happened to you scared the hell out of me. And I thought I was dealing with that a little better than I am, but the idea of anyone messing with your brain again and not at least being in the loop... that freaked me right out." Cisco toyed with his fries. "But this isn't about me. It's about what you need."
"Well, yes, but I think maybe it's also about us," Harry countered.
"Us?" Cisco squeaked. And it could most certainly be called nothing except a squeak. His dignity was officially out the window.
Harry ducked his head shyly. "I keep running through my head all the reasons that... it'd be a terrible idea for us to be together romantically. Starting with that I'm a selfish asshole twice your age, meandering through arguments about how you deserve someone who can keep up with how brilliant you are, and ending somewhere around the fact that you could easily do a hell of a lot better than me."
"Harry..."
"I've got a lot of issues with self-loathing as you've so aptly pointed out in the past. I'm terrible at social situations and I've had a lot of time to get set in my ways. And you just... effortlessly slip past my every defense." Harry's left hand went right into his hair as he glanced out the window. "To be honest, I'm just scared. Of screwing things up with you. Of... of losing you. There have been times that... you fighting as Vibe... I thought I was going to lose you. And I don't want to let all these excuses pile up only to look back one day and... and regret not trying. Of letting you slip away.
"I want to give us a try. If that's still something you want. I love you, Cisco."
"I love you too, Harry," Cisco replied feeling all warm and fuzzy. They were both grinning ridiculously.
"I'm terrible at compromise."
"I am aware," Cisco retorted dryly, reaching out to take Harry's hand in his.
Harry squeezed gently. "I thought that by asking you to stay out of the development of the treatment process I was heading off potential problems in the future. Instead I seem to just be creating new ones now. Both Caitlin and Ryan have pointed out that developing the technology necessary would go smoother with your input. And... I never wanted to make you cry." His voice cracked a little at that last word. "I know there has to be some kind of compromise in there but I just don't... know what it is."
"Harry, what made you change your mind about seeking treatment in the first place?" That question's been lingering in the back of Cisco's head for a while now.
He shrugged and hid behind finally starting his burger. Cisco followed suit, giving Harry time to think things through.
"My brain is already forming new connections. Slowly. But I'm still... finding things I've lost." Harry hesitated. "I used to be able to understand and speak Spanish. My accent was awful; you really wouldn't have wanted to hear it. But I knew what you were saying when you'd get frustrated and start muttering insults in Spanish at whatever you're working on."
Which... Cisco didn't even realize he did that. Though it didn't exactly surprise him either.
"Or, well, it's more of a Spanglish, I guess, since you still mix in English, but..." Harry shrugged. "That's gone. You were grumbling at that white noise generator of yours the other day and I had no idea what half of what you were saying even meant."
"Why didn't you say anything, Harry?"
"Because..." he shrugged. "I didn't see the point, I guess. It's been other things, too. I've rebuilt the backup electric generator for the house a dozen times but I don't know what any of the parts do anymore. The basics of plumbing, how to fix a faulty electrical outlet or switch, how to fix my car's engine if it breaks down... and maybe I don't need to know all of that to have a good life or for you to still love me, but... I started feeling like not even trying to take back even some of that was letting DeVoe win. He didn't do this to me, but he... saw me as a blueprint for what he wanted to do to the rest of the world. I don't want to just give up when maybe one day I could understand your frustrated grumblings and have a decent grasp of the work you and Jesse take so much pride in."
Cisco felt like he was going to get a little choked up emotionally over that little confession. Harry wanted to understand Cisco better. That was... that was kind of everything, wasn't it?
"What if I worked strictly on the tech? Then once it's built, the actual treatment plan is left entirely up to Caitlin and Ryan. I can just... do whatever you need me to for moral support at that point forward. How would that work as a compromise?" Honestly, it would probably be healthier for their relationship anyway if Cisco wasn't playing doctor with his boyfriend's brain anyway.
... was boyfriend a label Harry'd be cool with?
"I think I'd be good with that," Harry said, voice sounding shyly pleased.
"So, um... I realize this is, like, way early to be bringing up since we haven't even had a date yet," Cisco said, fidgeting nervously because, well... this was a big question to be asking. "And, no," Cisco told Harry as he started to say something, "this does not count as a date. I expect to be wined and dined, Harrison Wells."
Harry grinned. "As you wish."
Cisco sighed happily. He really loved this man.
"So what's the early thing to be brought up?"
"Oh, uh... I... I know you've already, you know... been a dad. And I just... is raising another kid something you'd even be interested in doing... with me?" Cisco's fidgeting got worse as Harry went thoughtfully quiet.
"I didn't want kids before Jesse. Not really. That was... Tess wanted a child and I wasn't opposed to the idea, just... uninterested. But then Jesse..." Harry shook his head. "I fell in love with her the moment Jesse was put in my arms. All tiny and wrinkly and... I don't actually understand why people call babies cute, but I do understand why they're so easy to love. And seeing you holding Jenna... that was..." he smiled fondly and... oh, were those heart-eyes Cisco was seeing aimed at him?
Harry hesitated and then continued to speak. "I couldn't do the single parent thing again. And I really don't know how Joe's got the energy for a baby even with sharing duties with Cecile and I'm a little older than he is. But adopting a post-toddler aged kid with you in a couple of years... if that's something you want to do, to raise a child with me..." he let out a shaky breath. "Turns out I actually really like being a dad."
Oh thank god, they were on the same page. "Yes. That's... definitely a down the road thing, but... I would love to raise a post-toddler aged child with you." He grinned as Harry snorted in amusement at the echo of his not so subtle hint that he'd rather not have to wake up in the middle of the night for two AM feedings or toddler levels of baby energy.
And, honestly, if they did end up adopting then Cisco didn't care how old the kid was, just that they'd have a chance to raise that child together.
"So if you want, I can teach you Spanish," Cisco offered, changing the subject and returning to his food.
"Oh?" Harry smiled, "going to make sure my accent doesn't suck this time around?"
"Pretty much. Besides, the Spanglish comes out during sex too, so I'm sure you'll want to know what I'm saying when I'm about to sate my oral fixation..." which is so worth saying for the choked noise and heated stare he gets as Harry puts down the burger he was about to take a bite out of.
"Oh god, you're a menace," Harry breathed out, sounding just a little in awe.
They make as far as the Well's family home's car port before giving in to the urge to kiss. And Cisco's heart flutters in excitement in his chest because... finally.
Harry's lips are on his, finally. Harry's hands on Cisco's shoulders, pressing him against the exterior of the car door. Their bodies pressed so close at the hips and chest that Cisco can feel the heat radiating off of Harry and yet they're not quite touching...
Finally, finally, finally...
Nothing matters except that kiss.
"You know, anyone could see you two making out with each other in the open like that," said Jesse's voice when they broke to breathe. "Like, you know... me. Who is traumatized now, thanks."
"Hi Jesse," Harry and Cisco chorused in amusement, Harry taking a step back.
"Though I'm glad you two have worked things out? Please say you've worked things out, because if you have I win the bet with Ryan. And if not then I've got a bone to pick with you about treating Cisco better."
Harry rolled his eyes. "Yes. We've worked things out. I'm taking Cisco on a date tonight."
Jesse beamed. "Awww. I guess this is probably where I should make some kind of shovel related threat," Jesse mused, not clarifying whether it was Cisco or her own dad she'd be threatening.
"Do I need to have a talk with Allegra?" Harry asked pointedly.
"Nope. I'll keep my shovels to myself if you will."
"Deal." Both Wells nodded seriously.
Cisco snickered and then kissed Harry on the cheek. "Tell me about this date we're going on."
"How does me cooking for you and kicking Jesse out to go to her girlfriend's apartment so that we've got the place to ourselves tonight sound?"
"I vote yes," Jesse chirped.
"You don't get a vote," Harry grumbled and Cisco just laughed again, leading the way into their home.
Notes: Just a short epilogue to go after this. :D
This story didn't end up quite as angsty as originally intended, but I like writing the fluffier stuff best anyway so... *shrugs*