He felt a hand running through his hair. Then he heard soft whispering. Somebody was talking to him softly but who. He shook his head from side to side. He was so confused. Slowly he opened his eyes. White walls. White ceiling. Then that smell. Shit he knew that smell. How was he here? His breathing got faster. He was panicking.
"Jim slow down. Slow your breathing. You are okay. Come on Jimmy."
He knew that voice. He remembered that voice. His eyes were looking for the person who was speaking to him. He couldn't see him, where was he? Need to find him. Need to find him. Need to get out of here. Can't be here.
"Come on Jim that is not calming down. I am here Jim. Come on kid."
Need to get out. He sat up abruptly. Still breathing fast. Eyes looking around the room in panic. Hospital. Can't be in a hospital. Need to get out.
"Damn it Jim. Stay down. No you can't leave your bed. Come on Jimmy."
That voice. That is Bones. Bones is here. Suddenly there was an arm around his shoulders. Pulling him toward him.
"Listen Jimmy. Listen to my heartbeat and breathing. Match my breathing. Calm down. You are not alone. We are here. That's it. Slow your breathing. You're okay. You are doing good kiddo."
"Bones?"
"Yeah kid. I am here."
Jim grabbed Bones shirt while Bones was still holding him close. "Why am I here?"
"You need it."
"Need to get out Bones. Where is dad?"
Suddenly the door of the hospital room opened and they both looked up to see who it was.
"I see he is finally awake. Why didn't you call me?"
"He just woke up a couple of minutes ago Phil. And he was panicking." Bones told him.
"He is just here." Jim said annoyed.
Phil ruffled Jim's hair. "I know perfectly well you are here kiddo." Phil said before he turned to McCoy.
"Why was he panicking? Nightmare?"
"No, think just confused."
"Can you both stop talking about me as if I am not here?"
Len crossed his arms. "If you would told us the truth about your health in the first place, we wouldn't be in this situation and then maybe we could trust you with answering those questions about your health."
Jim shook his head before he sat up better and moved his legs over the side of the bed. "I am fine. So get me out of here. Need to get out."
"No you are not!" Len said angry.
"I am. Where is dad?"
"Alright, enough both of you! Jim get back in your bed. Len go get some sleep. You look almost as bad as Jimbo here with those raccoon eyes." Phil told them.
"Am not!" They both said at the same time.
Phil had a small smile on his face before he shook his head. "Go Len. There is a couch in the corner with your name on it. Go to sleep before I sedate you."
Len sighs. "Fine. But wake me up if something is wrong. Or if you need me. Or if Jim needs me. Just..."
"Len go. You need sleep. Jim and I will be fine. Aren't we kid?" Phil's asked and looked at Jim.
Jim looked at Bones and saw the exhaustion in his eyes. "Go Bones. We will be fine. Sorry if I woke you up."
"You didn't wake me up kid. I was up."
"Yes and now you say night night." Phil said before he grabbed his arm and leads him to the couch and tucked him in. Bones rolled his eyes before he closed them. He was asleep in a minute.
When Phil walked back to Jim's bed, he expected he would also lay down but instead he saw the kid staring at the other side of the room.
"Jim?"
"Is that dad? Why is he in the hospital?" Jim asked in a small voice.
Phil sighs. "What is the last thing you remember?"
Jim closed his eyes for a moment trying to remember. "The ship. The Enterprise. We were going to Vulcan."
"Yes. That is right. You were..."
Jim took a sudden deep breath. " I remember. Nero, Vulcan. Dad. Dad got hurt! Bones got him. He was in surgery. Is he okay?"
Phil laid Jim back down on his bed and moved besides him and pulled him close in an embrace. "He's going to be okay Jimmy. Slow your breathing. That's it. What else do you remember?"
"I was captain. Spock stood down and I was captain. Papa I was captain."
"That is right. You saved lives. You saved the ship and earth."
Jim looked at Phil. "I need to go. Command probably wants a debriefing. I can't lay here."
Phil held him tighter. "No you don't. You already did what you needed to do. Spock can do the rest. Len told me he never saw that many emotions on a Vulcan until Spock brought you to his sickbay."
Jim frowned. "Spock brought me to sickbay? That can't be right. I don't remember... Wait when did we got back to earth? I saw the dock... I saw... how did I got here?"
"Kiddo that is what Len meant with telling the truth about your health. You worked nonstop on the ship. Helped where you could. But you forgot about your own health. You were hurt. Broken bones, bruised, scars. We could only guessed what happend on Delta Vega. Spock could fill us in what happened when you both got Nero and rescued Chris. But he didn't know everything that happend. The bruises on your throat must hurt you a lot. You didn't eat. Barely spoke to the crew only if necessary. And that became less and less. And because you avoid any medical care, your scars got infected and were running a fever. The combination of a bruised throat and broken ribs you had trouble breathing. And on the top of that you didn't sleep for one minute when you set foot on that ship. You were right you saw the dock. But your body shut down and you collapsed."
Jim avoid looking at him. "Oh."
Phil looked at him. "That's all you got to say oh?"
"I had to safe them. I was captain. Dad was hurt. Was my job. Couldn't let anyone else get killed. He killed my father." Jim said in a small voice.
"I understand that. Really kiddo I do. But it is also a job of a captain to look after his own health. At least to get some sleep, eat."
"Couldn't."
Phil looked confused. "What you mean couldn't?"
Jim snuggled a little closer to Phil. "Bones got me on the ship. I wasn't supposed to be there. So I couldn't return to any quarters because I didn't had one. I didn't exist because I wasn't supposed to be there. And because I didn't exist on the ship I couldn't get any food."
"Why didn't you tell Spock? He could have helped you."
"No time. Everyone was busy. By the time I realized that I had other things to do so..."
"It wasn't important for you anymore." Phil sighs. "Your health is important Jimmy. You know that. Len would find a solution and he would always find time for you."
Jim shook his head. "Half the medical staff was death. Bones was running sickbay. Had to focus on dad."
"And what would you think in what kind of state he was in when Spock brought you unconscious to sickbay. I had to made him take a step back because he was hysterical."
Jim sat up and looked between Phil and the sleeping Bones. "He okay? I didn't mean... He going to be okay?"
Phil brought Jim down again so he laid against him and ran a hand through Jim's hair. "He is fine now. He also didn't took care of own health that well. I already had words with him. All he now needs is sleep and so do you kiddo. Come on close your eyes."
Jim woke up two hour later. Dreams were keeping him awake. He looked around. Dad was still sleeping in his bed and so was Bones. Phil was nowhere to be seen. Jim sat up. Anxious. He hated hospitals. He couldn't stay here. Even if his family was here asleep.
Jim had experience with escaping hospitals. So he knew what he was doing. First the monitors need to be shut down so the alarm didn't go off. Now he needed to find some shoes. At least he had a pants on and a t-shirt. He looked around and found some slippers. That would do. Slowly he walked to the door. Opened it and looked around to see if the coast was clear. Yep. Time to move.
He walked quickly. Turned his head away when a nurse or a doctor walked by. He needed to get out. Needed to find the exit. Turn left, turn right. Two stairs down, left again. Almost there. Almost.
"Hey! Stop! Where do you think you are going?" A nurse shouted.
Shit shit. Need to move fast now. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw that the nurse had alerted security. Shit that was not the plan.
"Stop right there young man."
A security guard stood in the front of him suddenly. He looked back, there was another one. Shit. There were many. He was surrounded. Okay keep breathing he told himself. Don't panic. Keep breathing you can do this. The exit was there. He could do it. He could... suddenly there was a hand on his arm and two hands on his shoulder.
No no no. Bad idea. Yep now he panicked. He started to fight for his life. They couldn't touch him. He needed to get out. More security guards were coming. No no.
"HEY! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" That voice. He knew that voice.
"Sir. Please let us do our job. Go away." A security guard said.
"No way in hell am I going! Let him go. He is mine."
"What do you mean he is mine, sir?"
"His family and his doctor. Let him go, you only making it worse. Hands off all of you."
The security guards let go off Jim. That left Jim breathing hard laying on the ground. Phil was besides him in a second.
"Sir, you understand he was trying to escape the hospital and that ..."
Phil looked angry at the security guard. "Yes I damn well know. I have eyes. Come on kid, let's get you back." Phil said while helping Jim stand and held him close.
"Come on, a couple of more steps. We are almost there." Phil's said while he opened the door of their hospital room. Jim was clinging to him. He probably didn't understand a lot at this point only that Phil got him.
"You found him? Where was he?" Bones was immediately by his side when they entered the room helping Phil to get Jim to his bed.
"Almost at the exit. Security got him. Instead of talking they grabbed him. Well you could guess what kind of scene it was."
"Not pretty. Hell kid why did you walk away?"
"Jim okay?" They suddenly heard from behind them. Chris was awake.
"Well when did sleeping beauty decided to wake up?" Phil asked while putting Jim in bed with Len and putting the monitors back on.
"Just when you two decided to take a walk sweetheart." Chris said.
"A walk my ass.." Phil muttered.
"My hearing is still fine honey. So how is he?"
"Good to know Chris."
"He is warm." Len said when he put a hand on Jim's forehead. "Got a fever. Jim can you let go of Phil for a moment? We need to take a good look at you."
Instead of answering Jim held Phil tighter and curled up in a ball.
Bones sighs. "No kid, no curling up. Jim? Can you answer me?"
The only response they got was a little noise of distress when Len tried to uncurl Jim. Len looked concerned at Phil.
"What? What is happening?" Christ asked concerned and tried to sit up better.
"Stay down Chris. We got enough work with the two of you without you two getting in trouble." Len said.
"Fever is making his mind fussy. He is confused, was probably anxious when he walked out of the room. He probably doesn't understand a lot right now. He only knows he is safe. Just like when he was little." Phil said as he moved on the bed so the both of them got more comfortable.
Suddenly there was knock on the door and soon it was opened. Spock was there with Uhura.
"What are you two doing here?" Bones asked.
"Hello to you too Leonard. We came to visit. Good to see you awake sir." Uhura said.
"Thank you Lieutenant." Chris said.
"We heard there was a commotion downstairs. We heard the description of a young man who tried to escape the hospital and well..."
"You knew it was Jim." Bones finished.
"Yes. Is he alright?" Spock asked.
"He got a fever. He will be fine." Phil's said.
"I am sorry doctor but I don't understand why you are holding a patient while he is asleep and sick. The mind could get confused while in a state of sickness. Especially if he got a fever. He probably doesn't understand who you are. Besides it is not very professional the way you are holding him."
"Spock..." Uhura tried.
"It's my job to protect my captain and my friend. You need to let go of him doctor or I will call security." Spock said dangerously.
"Stand down Spock. It's all fine. You think we would sit and watch if it wasn't?" Chris said.
"Of course not captain. But..."
"Well we don't have to be afraid no one got the kid's back." Phil said while grinning.
Spock eyes still got dangerous.
"Oh stand down you green blooded hobgoblin. He is in no danger." Bones said irritated.
Spock ignored him. "Doctor he is not a kid. I ask you again to act professional."
"He is our kid." Phil whispered.
"What? What was that???" Uhura asked confused and so did Spock.
Chris glared at Phil. "You know you really suck at whispering."
"It just came out. I can't help it."
"Then use your inside voice. Really Phil."
"Excuse me, but could you explain why you believe he is your... kid?" Spock asked confused.
Jim chose that moment to talk in his sleep and muttered daddy and papa. Bones closed his eyes and shook his head. "Here we go. No way he didn't hear that."
Uhura raised an eyebrow. "You knew?"
"There are no records. Explain." Spock told them.
Chris, Phil and Len looked at each other. Before Chris sighs.
"Alright. Sit down. This could take awhile. But before we tell you, you two need to keep this to yourself. No one can know outside this room. You need to promise not to talk to anyone about it. This stuff is confidential."
"We promise captain." Spock told him and Uhura nodded.
"Alright it all started..."
To be continued...