12 years ago

"Look what I got from school!" Len said excited when he came home.

"What do you got there son?" Chris asked amused.

"Look I got a bag. A medical bag. Well an old medical bag. We have to learn how to examine a patient without technology. The old fashioned way."

"A that is excited. Good you will learn that. You can't always rely on technology. Sometimes they will not work or give you the wrong readings. I experienced that a couple of times in space." Phil said as he drank his coffee.

"Yeah that is why we learn it. So... in return to practice I need a patient..." Len hesitated.

"Oh god he needs a victim." Chris said.

"Well darling. You already sit on the couch. I would say you would be Len's first patient while I make dinner." Phil said with a smile and Chris gave him a look.

"Yes that would indeed help. Come on mr Christopher Pike. It's time for your examination." Len said and opened his bag.

"If you call me again by my full name I will call your teacher and tell him you did the examination bad." Chris said as he gave him a look. Len held up his hands.

"I mean of course Chris. Chris are your ready?" Len asked shyly.

"That's better son. Yes I am ready."

20 minutes later Len was finished and asked Phil to come while Chris took over the cooking. Phil helped him with the examination and explained some things to him. Len listen carefully so could learn to be a better doctor.

"Where is Jim?" Len asked as he helped to set the table.

"Upstairs making his homework. I will get him. Dinner is almost ready." Phil said. Soon Phil and the ten year old Jim came downstairs and they could eat.

"Thank you both for helping me. Can I practice on you again another time?"

"Of course Len. We all love to help you like you would help us." Phil said.

"That is why I wanted to practice more. You are my family now so it's good I know what is right and what is wrong."

"What are you practicing?" Jim asked. He didn't knew what the conversation was about.

Len looked at him and told him what he learned at school and how Chris and Phil helped him when he came home. "I also want to practice on you Jim." Len said with a smile.

"Nope." Jim said and start eating again. Jim was still small for his age but he wasn't malnourished anymore. Len knew some of Jim's medical history. The first thing he learned were the allergies. He was afraid to give Jim anything so he memorized the list. The other thing was when he found supplementary food in the kitchen cabinet. He asked Chris and Phil because he saw Jim eat some of it. They knew Len would found out eventually so they told him about the malnutrition Jim went through.

"Why not? I could help you one day. It's good if I learn more about..."

"It's also good to listen." Jim said as he puts his cutlery down. Still some food was left.

"Did you finish your homework Jim?" Chris asked so they could change the subject.

"Yeah I am already doing the homework for next week."

"If you are going at this rate, you can skip the next class." Phil said amused and ruffled Jim's hair so he relaxed a little. It did work and Jim started to eat again.

Len decided to keep silence for now and finished eating. He clearly was missing something.

It was later in the evening and Jim was watching tv while he sat on the couch. Chris was working in his office and Phil took a shower upstairs. Len decided this was the time to speak with Jim alone. He walked to the couch and sat besides him.

"What are you watching kid?"

"Movie about some island or something. It's really weird." Jim said with a tiny smile.

Len watched for a minute before he talked again. "Look Jim, I want to apologize from what happened at dinner. I should have listened to you. You are right."

"It's done. We are over it."

Len hesitates before he asked his next question. "Jim I really like to examine you. It's the old fashioned way so no technology. Phil helped me this afternoon so I could get better. You helped me the other day when I broke my wrist. This way I could return the favor. If I knew your body, then I could treat you easily when you are hurt or sick. Look at it positively. A familiar person could help you." Len took his bag which stood besides the couch and opened it for Jim to see.

"See all this. No technology. Isn't it cool?" Len asked and looked at Jim. He looked shocked at how white Jim turned. Len lay a hand on his arm and felt him trembling.

"Jim you okay?"

"Get...it...away..." Jim said in short breaths.

"What? I don't understand? It could..." Len started to say and took out his stethoscope. He suddenly heard footsteps coming at a fast pace.

"Put it away Len." Phil said and kneels in the front of Jim.

"Hey kiddo look at me. Take some deep breaths for me. No no don't look away just look at me. Come on. In and out. In...and out. That's it." Phil took Jim's wrist to feel his pulse. Still too fast. He decided to sit on the couch and put Jim on his lap. His face turned away from Len. He put Jim's his head on his chest so Jim could focus on his heartbeat and rocks him in his arms.

"Uhmm.. what is happening?" Len asked softly when he noticed Jim calming down.

"Panic attack."

"Did...did...is it because of me?"

Phil sighs and looked at Jim. He had his eyes closed now and was asleep it seemed. "No not because of you. It was because what you wanted to do."

Len thought for a moment and looked around. "He is afraid of doctors?" Phil nodded.

"He does know his father is a doctor right?" Len asked a little confused.

"He knows. That is why I am the only one who could treat him. Come give me your hand. This is what a fast pulse feels like." Phil said and let him feel Jim's wrist. "Pretend you are giving him comfort, like giving a hand, but in truth you feel his pulse."

Len nodded and followed the instructions. It was indeed different from a normal pulse. He still didn't understand why he could still do this. He caused this. His confusion was written on his face apparently.

"Yes he is scared of doctors but he also needs to get familiar with them. You are going to be a doctor too Len. He needs to get familiar with you treating him. Get the dual head stethoscope. This way we can listen to his breathing. It's instill irregular. This is a good practice for you. Get the bell first warm or he will wake up again." Phil instructed him while he kept Jim calm and asleep but also listen to Jim's breathing to make sure it was alright. After Len was finished he put it away.

"Thanks Phil for letting me do this and helping me. It was not my intention to get Jim in this state."

"Of course it was not your intention Len. You didn't knew. On the other side you know learned the difference between a healthy relaxed body and a distressed body." Phil said with a soft smile.

Len looked down. "If I knew...Phil? I am glad I could learn this but... I am not proud of it. I feel guilty. Jim didn't want this and I am doing this without him knowing."

"Is everything alright?" They suddenly heard from behind them.

Chris looked at them before he looked at Jim. At the way Phil was holding Jim he knew something was wrong. "What happened?"

"Panic attack. He saw Len's bag as he took something out" Phil explained simply and Chris nodded. "He is okay now. Can you take him upstairs? It's his bedtime anyway. I need to talk to Len for a moment."

"Oh course darling. Give me my boy." Chris said and took Jim from Phil's arms. He then walked to the stairs while he talked quietly to him.

When Chris was upstairs Phil looked at Len again. "Len do you remember the subject you discussed at school a month ago?"

"Yes psychology."

"You said you noticed something in Jim's behavior. I am telling you this because you live with us now for six months and are practically our son. So that makes you Jim's brother."

Len smiled at that before he realized something as he put the puzzle together. "He was abused?" He asked softly.

Phil sighs. Len's mind was too good for his own good sometimes. "Yes he was." He said and told him the whole story.

Len stare at the far corner when Phil was finished. "You okay Len?"

"Why would someone do that? He is a sweet kid."

Phil put an arm around Len shoulders. "I don't know Len, I don't know." Phil said and told Len.

"It's good he has found you two. It's barely noticeable he has come from something that traumatic if you don't know where to look for."

"He hides a lot. But don't forget Len, he has you too now."

Len shook his head negative. "He is afraid of me. I came here when I started to go to medical school and what is he afraid of? Doctors and anything that comes with the medical word."

"Hey I am a doctor too and I am his papa now. Don't be too hard on yourself Len. You two need to get used to each other. Be brothers."

"In never had a little brother."

Len said as he leans in Phil's embrace. "I think you two would be good for each other. Talk to him tomorrow. Be open to him. Don't be the medical student but the brother you want to be."

Len smiled at those words. "I will talk to him tomorrow. Thanks Phil."

Jim was looking for something under his bed as Len knocked on Jim's bedroom door. His door was already half open like always but it was still polite to knock.

"Hey Jim." Len said as Jim looked up.

"Hey Bones."

Len rolled his eyes. "Still with that nickname. Just because I broke my wrist while climbing the tree." He said with a smile.

"Well the branch broke just like your wrist. Just like a bone so yeah Bones you earned the nickname."

Len laughed and sat on the side of the bed. "What are you looking for?"

"A book. Put it under there. What are you doing here?" Jim asked as he found the book and put it on the bedside table.

"Wanted to talk to you."

Jim looked confused. Then he remembered last night. "You want to talk about what happend?" Jim asked softly as he sat on the other side of the bed. Facing Len.

"Phil explained to me what happend. I... I am sorry that happend to you Jim. And I am sorry I caused a reaction by you. It was not my intention. If I wasn't so stupid and read the signals... I don't want you to be afraid of me. I want to be here for you if you need me and have fun. Phil told me I am family now and they saw me as their son also and that you were my little brother. I want to be a good big brother for you Jim. I want to be the best." Len told him nervously.

Jim stared at him for a moment before he took a deep breath and smiled. "I want you as my big brother as well. Just don't... don't put that medical stuff on me. Okay?"

Len smiled at that. Jim wanted him as a big brother. "Deal Jim. No medical stuff just brother stuff." Len said and gave Jim a hug. "I got a little brother" he said with a smile.

Jim laughed. "You are silly Bones."

Len let Jim go. "Yeah well it's my job now as a big brother. What you say we go to the playground?"

Jim smiled at him. "Yeah. I love to. But first need to ask dad." Jim said and walked down the stairs. Bones was following him closely.

Phil and Chris were in the kitchen drinken their coffee. "Dad, papa can Bones and I go to the playground?"

"To the playground?" Chris asked.

"Yeah Bones is my brother and wants to take me to the playground so can I?"

Phil smiled and winked at Len for a good job. "Of course you two can. Watch out for each other and look after him Len."

"I will watch him. It's a big brothers job to watch after and protect my little brother." Len said put an arm around Jim. They quickly said goodbye and walked out of the house.

Present

"Len took those word to his heart and it became his guideline. They became the closed brothers I have ever seen" Phil said with a smile. Jim and Len were still asleep.

"But now Jim let's him treat him." Spock said.

"Yes. He does. But it's the same with me. He avoid us if he needs medical attention but if he needs it, it can only be one of us. The ones he trusts."

"That is so sweet. You just make your own family and all you can feel is the love." Uhura said.

Chris smiled. "Yeah we did. Not by blood but we are family."

Uhura looked at the time. "Spock I think we need to go. We need to work in an hour."

Spock nodded and stood up. "Thank you for telling us your story. We understand the situation better now. I wish you all well and a speedy recovery."

"I am eating, I am not dehydrated anymore. Why aren't you releasing me?" Jim said as he had another discussion with Bones.

Len snored. "You call that eating? I call that taking bites." Jim gave him a dark look.

"How is my favorite grandson and his cranky daddy?" Archer said as he opens the door of their hospital room.

"I think it's the other way around. I am the favorite patient and that is the cranky grandson." Chris said as he sat up in bed. It was two days after they told the story to Uhura and Spock.

"I have the right the be cranky. We had a deal Bones."

"I never made a deal. The recovery of the body has no deal."

"Oh really you are playing that card."

"Okay both of you shut up. What is wrong?" Archer asked as he took a chair and sat between the two beds.

"What is wrong? I tell you what is wrong grandpa. Bones said he would release me and he doesn't."

"You still got a low fever."

"That will go away if I am home in my own bed. Where I can sleep." Jim said with his arms crossed.

"Where is Phil?" Archer asked.

"Coffee." They all said at the same time.

"Of course he walked away."

"They are having this argument 10 times a day. Don't blame him." Chris said.

"Am not." Jim and Bones said at the same time.

"So why can't he go home?" Archer asked.

Len sighs. "He still got a low fever. Blood pressure is low. Get dizzy spells because of it. He got dehydrated again and he is still not eating enough. Then there is, he gets tired easily and got not enough energy. It's not responsible to let him leave. He needs to be watched around the clock. Phil and I still need to work. In the hospital room one of us can stay while the other work."

"I don't need to be watched." Jim said in a sullen voice.

"You do. That is not even a topic to argue about." Len said frustrated.

"Is it an option if I take him home?" Archer asked. Jim face lifted up.

"Take who home?" Phil asked as he stepped inside the room with four coffee.

"Jimmy." Archer said.

Phil shared a look with Len. "He needs to be watched around the clock. Don't you have to work?" Phil asked.

"Not this week."

Phil looked at Len. "Chris can be released at the end of the week. It could work. One of us gets home around lunch to check on him and later on one of us sleeps at home."

Len thought for a moment. "It could work. Okay. You can take him home."

"Yes!" Jim said excited and jumped from the bed. Only for him to go to the ground as he stood on wonky legs. But Len saw it happen and quickly grabbed him under his arms.

"That is why you can't be left alone. Sit back down kid."

"I still will go home with grandpa."

Len looked at Phil. Silently asking if he was sure. "I will get the paperwork started. John if you follow me I can talk you through the release." Phil said and walked out the door.

"Be good for your grandpa kiddo. Promise me. Listen to him what he tells you and I don't want to hear about the shit you are trying here to make Len en Phil's job harder." Chris told him sternly. He was not happy that they were releasing Jim without them going home with him. But he also knew the kid wouldn't get better if he stayed here. He needs to be home to recover.

"I promise dad. I will be good." Jim said as Bones did the last scan on him.

"Why are you in my bed? You have your own bed." Jim asked sleepily. He was finally home and in his own bed and now Bones decided he could take his bed too instead of his own bed.

"Was not made up. Too tired to do it now."

"So take the couch. Why my bed?"

Len took a deep breath. "Need to make sure you are okay. It's my job to look after my little brother. Just... I'm...I'm working non-stop since it all went to hell on the ship. Then dad happend and then you...papa can look after dad now but you...you were not there anymore. You... I...I need to make sure..."

Jim put a hand on Bones chest and turned to face him. He never saw him so distress. "I'm here Bones. I am okay."

Len held Jim's wrist and let out a long breath. "That helping you Bones?"

Len looked guilty. "I am sorry Jim. I know you're not comfortable... I just need..."

"Hey it's okay. If it's helping you. Take it. Close your eyes Bones. If you stay here you better sleep." Jim said as he closed his eyes too.

"Thanks Jim. Goodnight kid."

It was two weeks later and the family was finally home. Only Chris was still recovering. But he had a lot of fysiotherapie to help him with that.

"Papa, have you talked with Bones?" Jim asked as he sat on the kitchen counter.

"Talked to him sure. Every time, just like you. But I am guessing that was not what you meant." Phil said as he gave Jim a nutrition bar.

"No Uhmm. He... is different."

"I noticed. But so are we. It was not nothing that happend kiddo. You got something you worried about?"

"I hear him sometimes pacing the hallway at night. And then he just stops. He comes in my room and lay next to me and hold my wrist. After a couple of minutes he falls asleep."

"Feeling your pulse relaxed him." Phil said as he leans against the counter.

"Yeah, so I let him or he doesn't sleep. He wasn't like this at the hospital. But here he almost... he looks afraid." Jim said. He looked down and played with the bar in his hands.

"He didn't sleep that well at the hospital either. You both looked like raccoons. Len was putting you to sleep but I was putting Len to sleep. You both got a big job on the ship suddenly. A job you both weren't prepared for. You were made Captain and Len was suddenly the CMO of the ship. You both did the best you could do, and worked non- stop. Well we know how you ended. I think this is still some results how Len is doing."

"I am worried about him."

Phil ruffled Jim's hair. "I will talk to him kiddo. For now, just let him do what makes him comfortable. But tell him if you are not. Now stop playing with that bar and eat it."

Jim gave Phil a hug and got off the counter. "Thanks papa. I will check how dad is doing or if he needs help.

"Hey son, got us a drink." Phil said and gave Len the glass before he sat besides him. They sat outside looking at the sky.

"Thanks. Everything okay?" Len asked as he took a sip.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"Why? Jim and Chris were the ones that got hurt."

"And you were the one who was treating them. And on the ship you were also running sickbay."

Len sighs. "Alright, tell me. What do you know that you want to talk about."

"What do you think we need to talk about?" Phil asked bringing the question back.

"Ah Phil, seriously. Don't give that psychology crap."

"Now you really sound like Chris. Tell me what is wrong."

"Nothing."

"No? You are still not sleeping properly. Jim told me he hears you pacing in the night in the hallway. Also that you need to feel his pulse so that you can relax enough to get back to sleep. Now tell me again that nothing is wrong."

Len took a deep breath and another sip of his drink. "I guess it's all hitting me now. We lost some of the crew, we lost half of our graduation class. And then we almost lost dad if Jim didn't bring him back on time. It was chaos. I did the best I could to run sickbay and taking care of dad and Jim did his best to be the captain of the ship and helping the other departments. He came by a couple of times to see how dad was doing before he left again. I didn't noticed something was wrong with. I forgot to check him out when he came back after rescuing dad. I forgot and he collapsed."

"Like you said it was chaos. It was also Jim's responsibility to get himself checked out. You had a lot on your mind Len at the time. Yes so did Jim but than there is also the bridge crew. Who also didn't noticed until it was too late. You know how good the kid can hide something. Nothing you could have done than what you did now. He and Chris are alive. Thanks to you."

"But still... I ... I now need to make sure he is okay before I go to sleep. I am afraid I forgot again and something will go wrong."

"So you go to his room. Feel his pulse to make sure he is okay?"

"Yeah. Can't shake the feeling."

Phil was silent for a moment. "Will it help if you check him first before he goes to sleep? You know he is well and you can sleep the whole night. You need to get back on your sleeping pattern Len. You will collapse otherwise."

"It could help but I don't want to bother Jim with it. You know how he hates those things."

"He let you feel his pulse doesn't he? He wants you to be okay. He is worried about you. Talk to him."

"Okay. I will try."

"Good. If that's not working let me know, okay?" Phil said and gave him a look not to say otherwise.

"Okay papa. I will let you know."

Phil stood up and gave Len a hand to get up to. "That is my son. Let's go inside. It's getting chilly outside."

When they stepped inside they immediately heard the talking and laughing.

"Yep you are going to lose Spock." Chris said laughing.

"The game is not yet finished admiral."

"Alright then Spock it's your turn change the game." Jim said with a smile.

"When did you get here Spock?" Bones asked as he sat down at the table were they were playing chess.

"An hour ago doctor."

"Really? Why didn't..."

"Hey Bones, talking later. Spock needs to concentrate if he wants to win."

"I already know my move Jim."

"Then you know you have lost?" Jim asked to be sure.

"Yes I am aware."

Chris laughed. "Told you so."

"You lost again from him? Spock I thought you were a good chess player." Bones asked.

"Jim is also a good opponent. I would like to play again sometime."

"You got it Spock." Jim said with a smile.

"I must go now. Uhura must be waiting for me. I only came here tonight to give you the report of the Enterprise."

"Yeah, she may not be happy. But thanks for the report and the game Spock. I will come by tomorrow to see how Scotty is doing."

"Very well. I will see you tomorrow then." Spock said and walked out of the house.

"You going to see the Enterprise?" Chris asked while thanking Phil for the coffee he brought for them.

"Yeah, need to see with my own eyes how she is doing and I want to talk to Scotty about something."

Chris eyes got bigger. Phil shook his head. "No you can't come with him. You got your own appointments and the admirals want to talk to you."

"Really darling, just for a minute?" Chris asked.

"Nope. I know you longer than today. Maybe in two weeks you can see her." Phil said. And his word was final.

"There is not much to see now dad. There is still a lot to do to repair her. But in two weeks I take you with me." Jim said with a smile and Chris ruffled his hair.

"Bones you need to come tomorrow too. It's your sickbay now so if you want something different you can say that now while they still fixing her up."

"Yeah I got some things I want different."

"Look at you already the captain I see." Phil said with a warm smile. Jim laughed which was followed by a yawn.

"I think it's time for bed kiddo." Chris said.

"Yeah maybe." Phil gave Bones a look.

"I am right behind you kid. I am pretty tired too." Len said as Jim stood up.

Jim and Len were upstairs as Phil turned to Chris. "What you say I help you to the couch. After that I get us some wine while you look for a movie." Phil said in a lovely voice.

"Oh, are we having a fun evening? Then I think we better get upstairs too." Chris said as he sat down on the couch.

"Not that much exercise for you yet. And besides Len and Jim need a moment by themselves. Let's give them their privacy." Phil said as he returned with the wine and sat besides Chris.

Chris looked at him. "What do you know that I don't know?"

"Len is having trouble sleeping and only knowing Jim is okay will help him. So they need to talk."

"Okay, should we..."

"Nope. We should watch a movie and enjoy our wine darling" Phil said as he held out the wine glasses.

Jim was almost ready for bed when he heard knocking on the his door. Frowning he walked to the door to see who it was.

"Bones? Everything alright?"

"Hey Jim, can I... can I talk to you for moment?"

Jim looked at Bones confused. He looked nervous. "Yeah sure, come in."

They both sat on the bed facing each other. "I heard you are worried and you have the right to be. I am having trouble sleeping since it all happend."

"I noticed. Something I can help with?"

Bones sighs and played with his fingers before he looked at Jim again. "I forgot to check on you on the ship. I forgot..."

"Bones seriously. Don't beat yourself up about that. You had enough on you plate already. It was my own fault..."

"It was my job to check on you! I was the CMO your were the captain. It was my job. I am your brother. I have to look out for you. I forgot..."

"Bones stop it! Seriously. It happend. It's done. If you want to blame someone, blame me. Stop beating yourself up!"

"Should we go check on them?" Chris asked when they heard the shouting.

"No, this is something they need to do alone."

"You sure they okay?"

Phil put Chris closer against him. "They will be."

"Well I am!"

Jim sighs and took a deep breath to calm down. "We had our jobs and we did them."

"I didn't Jim. Not that of a brother. I forgot to check on you and now I can't sleep if I don't know you are alright." Len said softly.

Jim ran a hand through his own hair. "Okay, so what can we do to help you? What do you need? You helped us, it's time we or I help you."

"I talked with papa. He suggests that I check up on you before I go to sleep so that I can sleep. But I know how you..."

"Okay, it's done, you do your thing."

"Jim. You know what I am asking from you?"

"Yes. You helped me all the time when I needed you so now you need me. If it helps you. I will do anything."

"Thanks Jimmy."

"You know what's funny?" Jim asked as Bones ran a tricorder over him.

"What?"

"That our parents still let us go on our own. Every time we go somewhere, something happened."

Len laughed. "You got a point there kid. It's a wonder we still get out of the house."

"And now we are going away on our own ship..."

"Yeah, don't tell them that before they realized what they are doing and let happen."

"It was just the first months you came to live with us and we were in the park. My kite got stuck in the tree and you said I couldn't climb the tree because it was dangerous. So you did and fell down and broke your wrist."

"Then the other time at the playground. You fell down the monkey bars."

"Oh yeah I remembered that one." Jim said and sat up as Bones was finished. "You came hysterically into the house. And all I got was a cut on my forehead."

"Yeah well it's my second month. I was responsible for you when I took you out."

"Maybe it's the playground and the park that are problem."

"Don't be so sure about that kid. Remember the bar?"

"Oh yeah. Well better forget the bar. Not that good of a story to remember."

Bones laughed and ruffled Jim's hair. He then sat besides him against the headboard "You know I am still so grateful that I came to live with you. You gave me a family."

"You have to thank Dad and Papa for that. They helped me so that I could stay with them. Who knows what happend if they didn't found me. They are the reason we have this family."

"Yeah. All they needed to do was to give the love and they start building the family. They didn't need blood. Just love. They were the first ones who told me they saw me as there son before I even knew how they saw me. They told me I was your big brother. You didn't even know how happy I was when they told me that. I was only child. I didn't have siblings and then suddenly I was a big brother. I never felt that much responsibility."

Jim smiled. "Well you did good. You were and still are a good big brother."

"Thanks kid. Thanks that I could be one for you."

"You know. When I was little you always came to my room to check up on me. And would stay with me when I had a nightmare."

"I remember."

"Do you want me to stay with you? Help with your nightmares."

Len sighs. "Maybe for tonight. Tomorrow I want to try on my own."

"Okay Bones." Jim say and he laid down. "Night big brother."

Bones smiled and laid besides him. "Night little brother."

To be continued...