Bindings To The Past

by InMyMindsEyes

She was just a quiet girl who worked in IT when she crashed into a situation that started a cycle of events that changed everything. Wanting to get to the very heart of it all to stop a life changing alteration before it gets too far, Elodie discovers the location of a certain Village and sets things in motion. Some for the better, some for the worst.

3. Preventative Measures

You know those machines at batting cages, you know, the ones that spit out ball after ball that help you hone your swing? Well, this last week was making me feel like I was standing in the line of fire like an idiot with no bat and taking fastballs to the face.

Waking up from being in a horrible accident. Puh!

Dealing with the recovery from said accident. Thwack!

Turns out I've been in a coma for half a year. Puh!

My work may/may not have been experimenting on me with/without my actual consent. Puh!

I changed in ways I didn't even know how to describe. Or comprehend. Crack!

My house didn't look or feel like my house anymore. Ping!

I have caught my boyfriend trying to get busy in my bathroom with another woman. A woman who now after fixing herself up and sliding off the counter with a little less grace than she would have probably liked, her face and body language unsure and confused. She and I looked eachother over, our eyes not breaking.

"Babe?" Was all Isaac managed to get out. That had both me and the other woman's eyes moving to him and despite my spontaneous theatrical entrance, I was standing there, lost and frozen, wading through what I was looking at as best as I could manage at this time and I watched as some thought morphed it into something I couldn't interpret on the other woman's face before she shifted and -

SMACK!

I gapped at the sight that happened before me as the sound echoed off the walls of the bathroom. I didn't hear the words the woman had been saying as Isaac brought a hand to his face to where his skin had begun to redden from where she had slapped him as he moved his shocked gaze from me to hers. I hate to say it, but in that dragging minute, I… admired her. While my mind had turned off as I moved out of the bathroom and walked out towards the living room to give both them and myself some space, the change in her had been so slick that it had taken me to mentally separate myself from the situation to recognize it.

Hurt. Betrayal. Things that I felt, but not in that kind of degree to take a swing at him. Then again, I wasn't an openly violent person. God damn, I inwardly mutter as a press my fingers to my temple. My head was beginning to feel like a collection of thorns pressing along the inside of my skull as I faintly hear a door close and muffled voices drifted down the hallway before two faces came back into view, this time, fully dressed. Clearing his throat, Isaac stepped forward.

"I believe an introduction is in order." Isaac started pulling on the ends of his shirt cuffs. "Elodie, this is Jocelyn. Joce, this is Elodie." He gestured between the two of us while I watched her look me over once more.

"From the hospital, right?" She asks looking from me to Isaac and I feel a small tightness move across my shoulders near my spine.

"So you knew about me?" I am startled by the low tone of my voice.

She casted an unsure look from me to Isaac before drawing out a slow; "Yeah." She pushed a long strand of hair away from her face. "Well, I knew he was visiting you in the hospital, but I didn't know you were… well." She shook her head, her hair falling around her face. "Sorry you had to see.. that." She vaguely gestures towards the bathroom and I feel heat spread from the pit of my stomach to my chest like one hundred proof alcohol.

Isaac visibly flinched at that. "If I had known you were able to come back, I would've-"

"Made sure to not have another woman in the house for when I came home?" I cut in and feel a small twinge of glee when he winced but this time there is a flicker of shock that goes hand in hand with it.

"I didn't think you would have.. at least anytime soon to be perfectly honest." He slips his hands into his pockets and rocked on his heels.

"Well if you had answered or even checked your phone you wouldn't have been taken by surprise." I point out.

"It's true, you do that a lot." Jocelyn adds in and my focus shifts from him to her. "I've told him that he should check it now and again, especially to check for updates about work." I can't tell if she's trying to be helpful, insightful or borderline insensitive to what's going on, but I end up just giving her a resigned stare.

"It seems I could write a small list down of all the things he shouldn't do," I look to her and give a tense smile, "we could talk about it over a glass of wine since a bottle has already been opened." I point to the kitchen and for a brief second, I think she is going to say something in agreement when Isaac cuts in.

"I don't think that's necessary or a good idea."

I frown and jerk my head sideways and turn to fully face Isaac. "That's too bad." Isaac shifts on his feet and nervously scratches at his forearm. "Has she, have you been here before, in this apartment?" I ask quietly and see his head lift upwards sharply; his brows furrowed.

"Well I-" Jocelyn tries to talk but is cut off by Isaac clearing his throat.

"She-" He clears his throat and tried once again, "Of course not. No," he casted a sideways look at her that had her mouth snapping shut, "its just that- she's not from around here. She's in New York most times. She has meetings in town." He explained and I felt the scraping in my head again.

"I don't give a damn where Jocelyn has meetings." I shake my head. "That's not what I asked." I moved my eyes over them and settled on the floor and my eyes snapped to her feet.

His were bare, but hers weren't.

"This is her first time over here." He returned, sounding so confident that it had my teeth grinding together and had me inhaling sharply.

"Really?" I asked and sent him a sideways glance. "Because you," I pointed to Jocelyn, "are wearing heels." I hint.

He lifted his hands upwards, looking perturbed by my statement. "So?"

"I just.. I find it odd." I move slowly and walk towards them and the door, taking in the worried look on Jocelyn's face before I take my time pulling out the shoes I had seen earlier. "I saw these, and thought 'those aren't mine'." I drop them at their feet after he takes a couple long seconds looking them over while Jocelyn's eyes squeeze shut, her mouth pulling tightly into a thin line.

"So what, she had a spare set of shoes with her and put them in there." He clarified and I almost laugh.

"Its just odd because somebody who has never been here before would have a spare set of shoes in the front hall closet." I enunciate. Putting my hands on my hips I take a long slow breath and take in the guilt that radiated off of the both of them. I could take in the thought of him having someone else in his life, I managed to swallow it with a spoon of understanding.

What I refused to tolerate was a liar. And one who was already caught, and still trying to double down rather than just come clean.

The heat spread to my throat now.

"I sometimes go running in the evening for a workout." Jocelyn added gently and I could help the scoff that left me.

"Do I look like an idiot to you?" I ask rhetorically gesturing to my whole person with my hands before resting them back on my hips. "I have been laying still in a coma and yet, my brain is still quick enough to piece these things together and from what I saw, you were going to get a workout, but it sure wouldn't be from a run."

"Is that the biggest problem we have right now?" He gestured to the orange sneakers that lay at his feet.. "A spare set of shoes?"

I sent him a scalding look, my mouth gapping open for a minute. "Are you serious?" I asked rhetorically. "I'm sorry. Your right. That's not the real issue here. The real one is that you aren't the one coming home after recovering from an accident to see your boyfriend all but having sex on the bathroom counter with someone else."

"I can't talk to you while you're like this." He scoffs. "I can't do this with you right now." And starts off towards the kitchen. Jocelyn looks torn but starts to wander off with him.

"If only you'd said that to Jocelyn here." I verbally jab and he stops his retreat before sending me a heated glare after spinning back around.

"You make it sound like he was fucking every woman in creation." Jocelyn jumps in and I turn my sights on her.

"For all I know, he could have been."

"Me and Joce are more than.. casual." He explains shortly and I go back to rubbing my temple with my fingers.

"Right." I whisper as another fastball hits me in the face.

"Right." He mockingly echoes. "I bet you can't stand the fact that guy like me can fuck a girl like her all night, huh?"

His tone had me cringing away and wondering where the hell that had come from, even while Jocelyn looks all embarrassed. "Isaac, don't make it ugly." I drawl out on a sigh.

"You're the one who made it ugly by coming here and making a scene!" He shot out and I gapped at him and head back into the living room to get settled on the couch, my body sighing in relief.

"I'm 100% sure that I am not the one that made this ugly and I barely made what constitutes a scene." I watch him roll his eyes and scratch at his arms again. "Would waiting 6 months have been such a hardship?" I ask quietly and the coldness in his eyes had me cringing.

"I did wait, just not the way you preferred," he grated.

"Could you not have held off?"

"Actually, it was me that made a move on him." Jocelyn admits. Looking to her I feel my body tremble and a hint of fear settled in me when I struggled to pinpoint the emotion that caused it.

"I was gone for.. a little while but that still doesn't constitute-"

"Time was nothing to you!" He blasts at me, his hands held out at his sides. "Look Elodie, I have needs. And wondering if you would ever wake from your coma didn't meet them."

I nodded, numbly but that still begged the question; "How long?" I asked looking between the two of them. "How long after I was put in the hospital did you two get together?" I ask, my mind recalling the doctor telling me it was after two months that he had stopped showing up, but just from the down casted looks between them both, it wasn't the case. Feeling the sting spread deeper I felt my eyes burn as I glared them down. "I deserve an answer."

"We had started seeing eachother for a few.. weeks before the.." Jocelyn trailed off when I covered my face with my hands, my eyes burning, my body trembling as I struggled to breathe.

"Why.." I swallowed and dropped my hands, looking between them both. "Why didn't you talk to me, or tell me?"

"I didn't know how to even start." Isaac admitted and struggled to swallow.

"So you held off on doing so and now that you had a time where you didn't have to worry about me finding out, or coming home during one of your…" I swallowed the vile things I could have called it but pushed forward, "visits, you probably had a grand old time just- why would you do it like this, hurt me this way?"

"I'm hurting you?" He came as close to shouting as I'd ever heard. "What about what I feel, what I want?" I just gapped at him, feeling confused. "Damn it, Elodie, I'd been patient with you. You're the one who suddenly and for no reason that made sense, decided to change our relationship. One night we're sleeping together, the next day we're not." He points a finger at me. "I didn't press, I didn't push. I tried to understand that maybe you needed more time in that area."

Well damn. I nervously scratched my neck and looked down at the floor for a second. I hadn't needed time.. He and I just hadn't been.. satisfactorily compatible.

"Isaac, I'm sorry." I drop my hand and look back up to his dark eyes. "I'm so sorry. It wasn't a matter of time. It was-" I'd bungled things, I realized. I'd bungled it and hurt him unnecessarily out of my inability to find the right words back then. Even now, I found myself fumbling with them. "Isaac, we've been good friends, but-" I pressed my fingers to my eyes, felt the burn and let it fill the space around them, until I chuckled bitterly and dropped my hand. Why was I trying to salvage this? Spare his feelings to make him feel better? I had the words I had needed back then, now. "What we were, were mediocre lovers at best." His mouth gaps at my words and Jocelyn jerks away as if I had slapped him through her across the face. "Don't look at me like that, Isaac." He stuffed his hands back in his pockets and rocked on his heels once again. "There was no.." I struggled to describe what it was I was trying to say and looking to Jocelyn I got a flash of them in the bathroom and though it churned my stomach I lingered on it. "Spark."

"There wasn't passion between you two?" Jocelyn sounded shocked as she looked between us.

I decided to just get out with it all spurred on by my sudden burst of being brazen. "Nope, no urgency or desperation." I caught the way Jocelyn's eyes heated while they lingered on Isaac who just looked appalled by my blunt words. "None that would have resulted in nearly having sex on a counter." I caught the glint of smugness from Jocelyn, like just with her face she sent me a 'jealous?' nonverbal jab while Isaac seemed to struggle with his ego.

Jocelyn's mouth opened and closed before managing to ask "Why wouldn't there be?" The nerve of her questions was getting on my nerves and yet, while Isaac looked uncomfortable, I answered her.

"I don't know, I just- logically we had different wants. Different needs." I made it as simple as I possibly could manage, especially with the migraine that was forming.

"You can't make love and passion logical." Jocelyn said with a small laugh, Isaac didn't join in. Neither did I.

"Everything can be made logical, Joce." When he looked directly at me and with a pointed look that had me wanting to shrink away he added, "Elodie taught me that."

"Not this." I mutter out on a sigh. "The lack thereof, sure. The bases of the needs, fine. But not this. The logic in what your saying is flawed." I counter and watch a muscle tick in his jaw.

"But Elodie, you're not taking into account of the main problem. You never did." That had me straightening up in my seat.

"Like what?" I ask incredulously. Thoughtfully I watched him glance back to the door, linger there a second before looking back to me and began walking over to lay a hand on my shoulder. With me sitting down and him still standing, it gave him an air of false superiority. I didn't like it.

"Elodie, you were the girl my parents wanted. You're kind, and you're smart and so wonderfully.. steady." The last one was meant as a compliment no doubt, yet sounded like anything but…

Like being called plain.

That memory had me inhaling sharply and my body shook for a whole new reason.

"But you wanted something I didn't." He continued on a long sigh and rubs his arms again as Jocelyn stared him down while I just sat there, watching. Processing. I struggled to figure out what he was getting at, but when it hit me, my mouth slowly dropped.

"What was it?" Jocelyn asked looking between the two of us.

Sending her a scalding glare, I managed "It's not that important."

Isaac looked bored as he looked to Jocelyn and started saying "To be a part of-"

"Isaac!" I snapped standing up from my seat like a shot. He didn't finish the sentence, not from the warning look I gave him. How dare he air out my deepest thoughts to someone who I barely knew? He shrugged while my breath caught in my lungs. "Don't." My warning had the pressure behind my eyes flaring up but he casted Jocelyn a shrug.

"In short, Joce, they assumed we'd cooperate and marry each other. And they hoped that she'd convinced me that I wanted the same thing she did." He explained vaguely then looked back to me. "But I don't want that, Elodie. You do, but I don't." He admitted while looking at me like he was talking to a wounded dog.

"I'm missing something, what did you want?" Jocelyn tried to interject but I didn't linger over that and pressed onwards.

"I didn't want to marry you, Isaac." I throw back and watch his eyes widen a little. I crossed my arms and took a small unsteady breath as I tried not to yell.. "Yeah. That's right. I never did. I just didn't want to be alone for a while and you needed a place to crash. That's how this whole arrangement started." I say gesturing around the apartment. Looking between them both, their faces a mixture of six different kinds of bafflement and irritation, I got the overwhelming urge of wanting to just lay down and be alone. So that means.. I would have to play a hard card.

On a long sigh, I dropped my arms to my sides and started towards the bedroom.

"You going to have to go." I say after a moment and his head snaps my way as I pass him.

"What? Where?"

"I don't know." I return, feeling exhausted. "Just.. Not here." I wave my hand around.

"Elodie, I'm not leaving. I live in this apartment too." He calls after me.

"Yeah, he doesn't have to go anywhere!" Jocelyn adds in and I just head into the bedroom. The state the bed is in gives me pause, and I find myself turning on my heel and stepping right into Isaac's face, my head lifting to meet his brown eyes that looked nearly black in this light.

"Technically, you don't." I state. "Live here, I mean."

"I pay rent! I have, alone might I add, since you got in the accident. You can go if you want to." He countered as he gestures to me and narrows his eyes challengingly. I leaned my head back a little and met his eyes coolly.

"I don't have to go anywhere since, last I checked, my name is solely on the lease for this place." That certainly had his hard look changing. "Unless you got it in your head to change that as well since I have been gone. Has that changed as well?" I ask and watch him look away, his anger becoming more visible.

"No." Was all that I got but still it had me nodding my head.

"Then that still makes it my place." I state pointing a finger into my own chest. "And though you seem to have made every attempt to clear out any or all of my things," I point a finger upwards to halt him when he opened his mouth to talk. "Which was rude," I say as I drop my hand. "Speaking of which, where are my things?"

"I put your things in storage for safe keeping." He mutters looking around. "Hurt looking at 'em."

"Well, there's that at least. Regardless, you shouldn't have in general, but I will let that slide, and though I appreciate you paying rent for my apartment it wasn't necessary, so I believe I am in my legal rights to ask you to leave any time I want." I turn back around and head to the tall dresser in the far corner.

"You can't be serious." Jocelyn interjected as I started pulling clothes out.

"I am as serious now as I am thankful for, at this current minute, when you said 'no' to co-signing the lease with me." I spoke as I moved to open the small sliding door to the wardrobe, grabbed a large bag that he used when he went to the gym and dropped it on the bed and stuffed all I could in there. "In any case, you can pick up your things." I dropped it by his feet and raised a brow. "And get out of my house."

"He could take you to court for this!" Jocelyn added and I just wanted her gone, her face, her voice, everything. I simply shrugged with one shoulder and moved around the room.

"That would be his right, but I highly doubt you could find a judge who would take your side when the other side of the bench would be a woman who was cheated on while in a coma and legally the main owner of this apartment." I lifted my hands, palms up as if weighing the two sides with a mocking frown. As I started to methodically grab his things and put them into different piles I blocked out Jocelyn who was in the background trying to berate me about legalities of what I had been saying but I couldn't hear any of it over the rising pressure in my head.

"Elodie-" Isaac tried to go on but I hold up a hand, gesturing for him to hold the thought. Looking to Jocelyn I internally feel like my mind is too clustered with her here. Her quips now and again were able to be overlooked but it was the smell of what must've been her perfume in the bedroom that started to burn my nose and have my patience thinning. I can't help but just simply want her out of my sights, the quicker, the better. Humming at the idea, my throat warms and the feeling spreads upwards towards my mouth, filling it. I lean my head sideways to look fully at her and wait till she takes a breath before I talk.

"It's best not to make this any weirder with words to eachother that would just make a bigger mess, so I am going to have to ask you to leave." My eyes narrow as I focused on her, my voice sounded.. different. Almost echoey for a slight second. Jocelyn's bright eyes flutter and droop a little, making her look a little dazed. That had me nearly frowning before Isaac stepped up to me.

"Jocelyn doesn't have to go, she's my guest and we agreed to talk to you together and she's right about- Joce?" He reaches out and takes her hand, looking her over and frowned when she didn't meet his eyes, but stayed in a blank state. I was about to ask her if she was alright when she blinked slowly.

"I think I should go." Jocelyn finally said after blinking slow once more and sounded like she was talking half asleep, her lips barely forming the words, her vowels dragging. Isaac, startled looked from me to her.

"The hell? Joce? I thought we were going to talk to her together." He laid one hand on her arm, the other lifting to her face as his voice alone reached out to her for reassurance. She didn't respond to him. She seemed to be staring off into space.

"No.. No I should go." Every 'o' in her small sentence dragged again and for a second I was worried she'd had some type of meltdown.

"I think that would be best." I managed cutting the moment short but still muster up a dark semblance of a smile when she limply shrugged Isaac off and started towards the door, picking up her things that I hadn't noticed. Isaac followed and asked if she wanted to walk down by herself. Stepping to the doorframe I listened when she didn't respond and just waltzed out the front door. "Nice to have met you." I got out before the door had closed behind her. I closed my mouth in time before Isaac looked back to me before I started to rub tight small circles on my temples with slow steadying breaths as my thoughts lingered on Jocelyn and go back into the bedroom.

"What's the matter with you?" He asked as he nearly trips over the bag I finished packing it for him while he just stared at me.

"I just got back from the hospital." I say bluntly and hear him let out a groan of frustration.

"That's not what I meant." He bites out.

"Well Isaac, I'm running low on energy and frankly I don't want to waste any more of what I have left on playing guessing games so what did you mean?"

"That!" He points an accusational finger at me and I feel myself lean away for a second. "What I mean is that you've never been like this before. You don't like confrontations, let alone telling people off with that level of attitude." He says pointing in the direction of where Jocelyn had left.

He was right. I had never liked situations like this, and even now, as I stood here staring him down, I could feel my body shaking, my heart beating rapidly in fear, anger and hurt. Taniesha had told me that I had a temper deep down, but I had always prided myself on keeping it down. But on rare occasions I had it peeking up and lashing out just a little now and then. Its not that I didn't like doing it, but… "Me holding my tongue in certain company seemed to be the best option, especially before..." I trail of but still gesture to him. "Case in point." I mutter and now, I just notice the bedsheets, rumpled tossed about with the pillows on the floor. "I didn't bother speaking my mind because usually it got me nowhere. Much like when you pushed me to get the job at Tricell all those years ago." I explain looking to him.

He gapped and looked around like the understanding he was missing could somehow be found on the walls.

"You got the job at Tricell because you wanted it." He countered and I felt another inkling of frustration hit me.

Here we go again.

"No." I held up a finger to his face. "I didn't. I got the job for us Isaac. You and me." I had gestured between the two of us and enunciated my last few words by pointing to him then me. "Because you were the one who pushed me towards it despite my protests saying that we needed more benefits since your work doesn't cover as much." My arms drop to my sides. "I wanted something outside of the pharmaceutical sphere and you told me I couldn't have gotten a job any better." I drop the hand I held up and moved back to the bag. "But despite my protests and my morals, I stayed because you had been right. The money and benefits did help me to push aside the concerns, especially when news of my work joining with another company came to light. You didn't listen to me and my words then so I just went with it." I shrugged.

And in result, I may have been used as a Guinea pig for some type of trial… But that I decided to keep to myself.

"You know, it'd feel a lot better if you yelled or screamed like a normal person." He said gently and I let out a humorless laugh.

"No thanks." Just the thought of adding more pressure by the likes of yelling had my level of exhaustion increasing. "Yelling would get me nowhere and I already have a headache." Looking to the bathroom, I huff out a breath. Guess having a shower was out of the que of feeling like a human again, since now it smelt like her perfume and the image of them together was still fresh in my mind. Looking to the bag, I point to it. "You can get the rest of your things in a few days."

"But…" He swallowed and looked around the room before falling back on me. "I don't have anywhere else to go."

"That's not my problem." My words were low and emotionless as I stared him down.

He looked… exasperatedly baffled. He didn't even say anything, instead he bent to pick up the bag.

A large bag in hand and looking resigned now, he lifted his shoulders and mumbled something that I barely picked up on.

"What?"

"I said you've changed, Elodie." He returned, louder this time. His words hurt in a way I want prepared for. Not just because I didn't have to look in a mirror to notice that too. But because since I had woken up, there had been this feeling in the back of my mind that pressed forward now and again. Like a headache that didn't know if it was coming or going. "Without having to say a word or move a muscle, you've seriously changed." He finished as he bent over, grabbing the handles of the bag and lifted, turned into the bathroom out of sight. From what I could hear, he grabbed a few of his things and with one last look over his shoulder he started down the hallway, his footsteps echoing softly. I looked to the bed and started to pull the sheets off and just barely managed to catch what sounded like a one-sided conversation about 'needing a place to crash.'

I stopped. Waited. And listened as he killed the call a few minutes after with what sounded as 'Thanks, I'll see you soon'. I moved slowly, creeping forward until my head peeked around the corner of the wall and watched as he put on his shoes and grabbed his coat from the closet but stilled when his eyes no doubt landed on the orange runners that still laid on the floor. Slowly, he picked them up and switched hands.

I stood, immobile for what felt like a long time, listening, waiting and with an audible click from the front door opening and closing again, my knees gave way until I collapsed on the ground, bedsheets around my legs in a tangled heap.

Changed.

Drawing my legs up, my arms wrapping tight around them I dropped my forehead to rest on my kneecaps as the world around me continued on but the inner turmoil inside me left me feeling shaken as I struggled to focus on anything in particular. It felt like a scream wanting to get out. It was nearly palpable. I felt my body ache in ways that gave me flashes from the hospital, my joints stretching, my bones wanting to pop but not once did I move.

I couldn't seem too.

The frustration ate away at me and I struggled to keep my head as an unfamiliar pressure built inside my chest, dragged inside my skull, wanting out. I genuinely struggled to weather this feeling until I felt something in me slip when I took a broken breath that sounded faintly like a sob. What followed was like letting out a small burst of air from a severely shaken sealed carbonated bottle, the pressure moved out of me with such force that I noticed my vision blurred and head grew dizzy. A minute passed and slowly, it eased enough to where it wasn't bordering on painful anymore.

After, I just stayed there.

I don't know how long I was on the floor for, but after some time and a little mental berating to myself to get my ass up, I found my eyes looking at the dark blue sheets and with a surge of something dark, managed to get my legs under me and standing once again. I moved as if on autopilot from my bedroom and headed back towards the balcony with sheets, blankets and pillows in tow. I somehow managed to get the door open and with an angry yell I threw it all over the balconies edge.

Fingers gripping the metal bars with a tight grip I watched it all fall, enjoying it as it drifted down in the evening air. It may not have fully fixed the situation but it sure as hell made me feel a little better. I heard people calling up to me, most of them along the lines of 'ooh, she's mad!', or 'someone's in trouble'.

I find a small smile cracking the corners of my mouth upwards as the evening air blew all around me as I looked out to the surrounding streets. Being on the 7th floor granted me a decent view, the air picked up a little now and again, carrying the sounds from the streets down below.

Grateful that I couldn't hear Isaac or Jocelyn talking, faintly or otherwise, I took several slow and deep breaths, the imprinted smell of the sterile hospital fading away along with the remnants of Jocelyn's perfume as my thoughts began to make sense of the situation. In the fresh air my lungs expand as if on automatic refill, and with each rising of my chest comes a sense of calm.

He would have been lonely, and things between us had become distant even before the accident… The doctors no doubt would have told him that they weren't sure when or if, I was going to wake up from the coma when he had visited. And he wouldn't have deserved to be waiting in the wings, especially for someone who potentially wouldn't wake up again .. Sure.

It, in a stinging sense was...

I swallowed harshly as the fact that it would have been logical settled in my mind.

Logical.

'Everything can be made logical.' I had taught that to Isaac? Really?

I shake my head and lean it backwards, my eyes on the darkening sky above me.

My boyfriend of 3 years had been caught red handed with his pants down and instead of getting angry, no doubt like I should have been, I was on my balcony after effectively ending things on relatively civil level, going through the thought process and putting the situation practically in the category under the title 'Makes Sense.'

I should be crying, breaking things or, like the woman in my bathroom, throwing a few swings. And yet, the pain that would drive me to do those things wasn't bubbling in me. It was low simmering at best. At least right now it was.

What was wrong with me?

Resting my elbows on the metal railing of the balcony I tuned out everything and just tell myself to settle down as I run my hands through my hair.. A few more inhales and exhales and I felt better, the motions slowed when then the smell of the city wasn't as strong as it was before.

Maybe.. Maybe it was the fact that my most recent experience of pain had increased my threshold for it. Hence why I could look at the whole situation and not feel as effected.

No.

No this.. I inhaled slowly, deeply and let it out. This wasn't even close to that kind of pain. Lowering my head to look back out to the city and its glowing lights, I allow myself to feel grateful for the moment of calm after the storm that I just weathered.

The hospital hadn't had much of a view but here I can take comfort in the familiar sights. Like the alleyways down below where I could stretch my arms and touch the sides of homes on both sides, the sounds of loud conversations from other apartments that drifted to my ears from their open doors and windows, enjoying hearing the subtle changes in accents and local vocabularies.

I didn't have the local twang or drawl despite living here for years. For that, I was both thankful and disappointed but had let it go a long time ago. But it was still home.

Comforting.

I let out one last deep sigh and my eyes widen in shock as I watch it rise from my mouth and drift in front of my eyes, like mist.

Wait… I blink hard and watch it drift up and disperse.

Huh?

I frown.

I take another breath, shorter and watch as it too rises, but not as strong as the one before. I lean back a little and take a moment to gauge the overall temperature around me and yet everywhere, I felt warmth. I took stock in that and drew it in.

This was, after all, Atlanta. As in, Atlanta, Georgia. We didn't get weather that gave you vapor breath. Warm and sweltering except on rare occasions that were then added to the city's history books. Like that freak cold snap from- I shake the thought from my head and look around, and yet, each exhale I watched it rise from me and disappear into the night sky.

And yet, here I was on my balcony and seeing my breath, coming in thicker and thicker puffs of mist. I stood there, watching my breaths rise as the feeling of cold began to creep in. Subtle. Like if you blinked or moved you would have missed it. Closing my eyes, I squeeze them hard.

I must be having some type of delusion.

This week had been rough.

Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me.

Although… My thoughts drifted back to when I had been resting in my hospital room and caught the scent of saltwater and pine. I had been feeling conflicted but calm when that had happened. Drifting somewhere in between states of mind. Maybe.. If I focused on it?

No harm in trying, I supposed.

Focusing on the elusive bouts of the cold, I took long deep breaths in, letting the feeling of becoming centered but chilled, wash over me, through me, until the feeling that had been scraping on the inside of my skull parted slightly. Like reaching a hand into a brush's space free of thorns and continuing to reach outward until I felt something connect and tug and for a second, felt a slight pinch in my head, like the beginnings of a brain freeze. I focused harder and with a feeling of being dragged through those thorns, I wince when I feel a sensation, like I had tripped and began falling forward hits me and instinctually open my eyes and brace my hands on the railing in front of me.

I stare, dumbfounded at the sight.

I was still standing on a balcony, but this time, it wasn't the one at my apartment.

My body felt strange, out of place. Looking around I see high walls of white stone that climbed into the skyline beside me from where I stood. The architecture wasn't one I recognized and not one I had ever encountered before in life or books. My eyes moved around before looking downward, my vision blurred on the peripherals of my sight but in the center was the clearest. I was looking down into, what seemed to be a courtyard, a metallic gazebo stood high in the center, the top of the structure of it covered in a thin layer of snow. I could just barely manage to see what could have been a statue of some sort resting inside at the center of it. The foliage that I could see that bordered around the courtyard seemed to thrive despite the cold chill. My fingers dug into something solid and wider than my balconies bars. Looking down, my sight moving slowly, I see that my hands resting on a wide stone barrier that came to my waist, my fingers leaving imprints over its curved snow-covered edge.. My fingertips were red from the cold and vaguely I feel myself now beginning to shiver at the cold winds. It began to hurt to breathe, each breath stinging my lips, my teeth, my throat. My eyes water at the bitter winds as flakes of snow hit my face.

I gasp at the sensation.

It felt so.. real. And I had never touched snow before.

The sound of a large door opening under me had me jumping slightly and starting to lean forward to see if I could catch a glimpse of whoever had opened it. The sounds of the footsteps on stone echoed softly upwards and had me leaning out to see if I could catch a sight. I could have sworn I saw someone before a hand landed harshly on my shoulder and pulled me back, the sight before me blurred, flipped and spun as I was turned in alarm and came face to face with another familiar sight. This one had air catching in my lungs as I took in the ebony skin and bright green braids.

"T-Tani-sha?" I struggled to get the words out as the sight of her blurs in seconds before she pulled me in for a rib crushing hug, her black braids falling over my face and the scent of cocoa butter surrounding me.

Comforting.

"Els, my god! I thought you were going to jump!" Her voice, it felt like years since I had had heard it and yet the words she had just spoken took a second or two longer to process.

"J-jump?" I tried to pull back but her arms continued to hold me tight. "I wasn't going to jump." I managed to grit out against the sensation of wanting to vomit.

"You were half leaning over the railing when I came in! God girl!" She pulled me away and held me at full arms reach, her hands gripping my shoulders with a strength that had me wincing a bit. "You've already scared me half to death now you go an' giving me a fright!" She looked over my face and took me in. My head felt dizzy, my breath a little laboured, mouth dry, my eyes stinging from not blinking for what felt like minutes. I looked from her and back out into the open space and saw nothing but the streets of my home city. My breath, no longer rising from my lips in little puffs of mist.

"I wasn't trying to." I admit and lay my hands on her forearms thankful for their warmth and their strength since I felt like I was going to get the spins in a second.. "Honest. It's just…" I trail off and as casting one last look over my shoulder and when I don't see my breath rising in those small puffs of white air, I look back to her on a sigh. Some things are best left to be pondered later. "Thought I saw something." I look over her face and feel my eyes sting for a different reason in what feels like weeks. I actively fought the tears and just pulled her in to a returning hug, squeezing her hard enough to earn a pained groan.

"I've missed you." I admit with my voice shaking.

"I missed you." When I release her she smiled as she looked me over then like flipping a coin her expression changed to angry before she slapped my shoulder. "You bitch, why didn't you call me to come get you?" She asked while I looked at my shoulder with a drawled out 'ow.'

"I didn't get a chance to and figured you might have been working, I didn't want to trouble you." I explain as I rubbed my arm. "Wait, how did you know I was here? How did you get in?"

"I call the hospital to ask how you are doing if I can't make the trip. When they said you had woken up and had been discharged, I blew the top off my cubicle! When my shift ended I hightailed it here. Your doorman let me in and your front door was unlocked." She looked me up and down and nodded. "You look.. good." She hummed in approval and pulled me into another hug. "Where's Isaac?" She asked after she let me go to look around. Her face changed into a glare at the dismissive one on mine. "Is that why your place looks like it's been ransacked?"

That had me blinking.

"What?" I moved around her and entered into my apartment only this time, it looked like.. well, just as she said. Ransacked. The coffee table was flipped onto its side, the dishes that had been resting beside the sink lay in pieces on the kitchen floor, the couch pillows were strewn about, one even resting on a lamp. I looked down the hallway and saw that some clothes had been torn to shreds on the way towards me.

Looking back to Taniesha I told her everything, even as my eyes welled up, I managed to keep them from falling. I started speaking from the pain I had felt while under, and the uncertainty of my future both working or just recovering to telling her how she had been right in her jabs of Isaac cheating, though she looked less than smug about it, yet somehow I managed to keep the 'contract' to myself when she asked me about my medical bills. After all, Taniesha already liked to dig, and I wouldn't want her to weasel her way into something she didn't need to be a part of. And when the topic of Isaac came up again, mainly 'wait, you said what?' and after she agreed with how I handled it, she breeched the question of 'what are you going to do about him?' or 'what would he think about you tossing his shit over your balcony?'

To which I just responded with;

"He is not a part of my life anymore, Taniesha and I don't make any decisions based on what he would or would not, think now."

"You still chose to be with him at some point."

I couldn't deny that.

"I'm sure all of us have made decisions in our lives that weren't for the best, that we now regret," I said gently as I flipped the table back right-side-up while she watched, curled up on the couch.

"So now you regret being with him?"

Blowing a strand of hair out from my eyes when I straightened I put my hands on my hips and think on it. "Isaac and I were never going to last. I knew it then as I know now that our relationship wasn't going to work out." I say as I move to my closet to grab the broom for the glass. "In all honesty, I don't know what I need, but it definitely isn't someone like Isaac who couldn't have been bothered to keep his joystick in his pants while in a relationship."

"Never been a fan of multi-player games. To much of a crowd." Tanisha held the pan while I swept what looked to be a weird little ceramic doodad that had been resting on the stove top.

"What if it was him with you?" She inquired and I paused in my sweeping.

"I'm sorry?"

"What if it was him in a coma, and you were on the outside, waiting for him to come around and get out of it?"

That had me resting my hand on top of my broom handle. "Taniesha, if I loved him, which looking over it all, I didn't, but if for the sake of the question I did…" I feel a sharp pang in my left arm and glance to it, frowning when the sensation was gone as soon as it had hit. "I would wait as long as it took." I finish looking back to her. Dumping the glass out she leans against the wall.

"Is that what you would want?" She asked flipping a few braids over her shoulder. "To have a love worth waiting for?"

"I want.." I can't even manage to finish the sentence. Like something holds my thoughts and tongue in a tight grip to make sure that I don't say anything on the matter. "I don't know." I skirt and start towards the hallway.

"Come on. You can dodge all you want, but you can tell me." She waited as I opened up the storage room and there, resting in several plastic storage bins were my things.

"I want.." Biting my bottom lip in thought I let it go and turned to look at her and almost laugh at her face, watching me with such interest. With a humored sigh I look back up to the ceiling "Honestly right now all I want is for this day to just be over." I say as I pull out a box that she takes and heads back to the living room and I grab the other and join her in setting it down in the living room while I start back towards the bedroom.

"Well, we should start looking for someone new for you tomorrow." Taniesha calls out as I hear her rummaging around in the boxes.

"Well I'm afraid I can't do tomorrow. I have my first physical therapy session." I say as I look around the bedroom. The scenic pictures that hung on the wall were all askew, Isaac's suits that hand been hanging up were resting on the floor, sleeves in pieces, buttons laying all over the floor, the bedside lamp tipped over, the bulb flickering.

"Bummer." Even from this distance I can hear her kiss her teeth. "How long does that go on for?" She asks as I sit the lamp upright.

"I was told two months. Then I can go back to work." I see her walk into the doorway and smack both hands on the frame.

"Speaking of work.." She says carefully getting my attention. "Things have.. kinda changed." She looks around and then nods her head. "Were gonna need some food."

And over the next hour, in between eating our weight in late night Chinese food, she catches me up on all that I have missed while I go back to cleaning up the house. I was glad for the distraction from the questions that would have wracked my head.

Our workload was increasing, hence why she hadn't been able to visit me as much in the later months while I was in the hospital. We've had an update to our system that she eagerly was looking forward to seeing what I thought about it but told me nothing more than that since worrying about it for two months and not being able to do a thing about it, made no sense.

Litz is no longer CEO of our Tricell branch. Coincidentally, he went abroad to another branch the same day I also had gotten in the accident. I guess my interview wasn't happening.

Security was becoming tighter.

The scientists were seen less and less on different floors.

And several times we've been inspected or as Taniesha described, interrogated, for various reasons. None of which even the IT crew knew about.

I didn't ask her about Wesker, though thoughts about him plagued my mind. Mostly I had a sickening sense that he and I hadn't seen the last of eachother.

It was almost hitting 2am when I gathered that she would be crashing at my place for the night and refused to let me sleep in the bed until new sheets, blankets and pillows were bought, cleaned and placed. 'Bad juju' she claimed and I was almost waiting for her to pull a few crystals out of her ass to throw them at the mattress.

So instead we ended up having a night in my living room, pillows all over the floor, cartons of Pings Chinese on my coffee table and making plans to go pick up new bedroom things over the bottle of champagne she had brought over for me in celebration of being home. Teary eyed I drank it down in plastic cups while she spent her time talking about her and Andrew and their escapades. She also agreed to help me pack Isaacs's things, though I had to wean her off of burning a few of his things out of what she called 'sisterly spite.' That had me laughing for the first-time in.. a loong time.

Closing my eyes, I listened to her voice and let it lull me into a thankfully dreamless sleep.

---

The rain was heavy today as I jogged my way towards the studio where I was going for my physical therapy appointment. They had been going better than my instructor though, saying my muscles were bouncing back faster than he or any of my doctors anticipated. Even now, my muscles didn't have the burn of over extended use as I made my way down the street from the bus stop, bag over my shoulder that flopped around with each hard step. This would be my fourth appointment with my therapist. He had glanced over my chart and noted my conditions and explained to me that the first few days were mostly about stretching and regaining motions and then moving forward to what would be strength building.

I remember walking in my first time feeling anxious and seeing the other half of the large studio in yoga gear and thinking I was in the wrong place. But after walking in a little more, there he had stood.

Standing by floor mats in solid black pants that look like high-end joggers and a white t-shirt, my instructor, taking a sip from a water bottle and waved me over when I came into eyeline. A few people from the yoga class seemed to have been talking to him and once he apologized and asked them to go to their half, we introduced ourselves.

With a strong handshake he introduced himself to me. "Jin Kwon." He was clearly Asian in descent, Korean most likely, yet he had the fluid easy mannerisms of someone from the States. He had my file in one hand and even winced looking it over. "Ready to get started?" He asked after explaining what we would cover and I nodded limply.

"Please be gentle with me." I joked nervously and the grin I got in return had my nerves settling slightly.

"You got it, boss!"

I liked the way he called me "boss" even though I clearly wasn't the one running the show here. The sports massage he gave me while I had laid on a cushioned table stretched out my muscles, working out those knots, giving my body a well-earned sense of bliss. Even though the pressure hurt at times, it brought an overall sensation of wellness that carried over well into later on in the day. His speech was peppered with humour, though never inappropriate, I returned with some of my own humor and got a few laughs out of him yet I never doubted for a moment that he wasn't taking me seriously. He listened, asked questions that were targeted to find the information he required about my pain and where it seemed to center, and gave a well-balanced response in return. While I was twisted on my side, he must've seen me with my eyes closed and joked.

"Most people find this position uncomfortable." He said as he massaged my shoulder.

"I could fall asleep actually." A small smile pulled from me when he shifted me once again.

"From what I hear, you had enough time to rest." That had my eyes opening fully, my smile falling.

"And yet, I don't feel at all rested." A huff of pained air left my nose when I felt something in my back pop. "Dreamt a little near the end of it though. Or nightmares, depends on who you ask." I admit.

He nodded and rubbed on my shoulders with the heel of his palm.

"I've heard many patients react differently to the meds they pump into you. Dreaming is common." He turned me to face the opposite way, laying my arm across my body. "In fact; I had a woman in here few years back saying that dreams or nightmares are a form of internal communication." He pushed gently on my shoulder until it gave a little a smaller pop this time.

"You're kidding." I spoke through a groan as I moved with his prompt for me to sit up.

"Nah, told me that both dreams and nightmare alike come in visual puns, communicating in metaphors as the creative dreaming brain does, offering suggestions, aid and sometimes seeking answers in return."

"Is that so?" I ask as he starts on massaging my legs.

"Yup. She told me that if it sticks with you, then its important and if you forget it after you wake up, then it didn't matter."

Hm…

I chuckle to myself as the rain continued to bear down on me as I recalled going home that day and looked up any and all symbolism from my dreams, just to humor him.

A few things stood out to me, ones that I to this day could remember in such vivid details that searching it was simple.

'To dream of flowers implies passion, beauty and endings. Something beautiful but only flourished for a short time.'

Interesting choice of wording. Pft. One whiff and it was almost painful. Figures.

'If the flower is opening it means that a new opportunity or someone is opening up to you whether it is literal where someone is ready to be intimate with you.'

Doubtful.

Moving on from them I decided to look up wine.

'Dreaming about red wine; indicates that you will have a powerful patron or support that will help you to receive honors and riches. These patrons will have everlasting influence over your work and prestige.'

Hmm.

But I hadn't swallowed it, I had spit it out. Refining my search, I scrolled lower in the category.

'Spitting out wine in a dream; indicates that someone has tempted or lured you to sin such as affairs. The dream depicts that you have resisted such temptations.'

I wasn't a drinker in general, but that had me thinking of Wesker… But I didn't feel like I had resisted temptation. More like… I'd been hit dead center with deadly opportunity.

'Fog in your dream could be pointing at mental clarity, or the lack there of. The image of fog indicates a level of uncertainty or confusion going forward in your life.'

That had me laughing outright. What fucking truth!

Crows represent the dreamer's intelligence that can be used to their advantage. A symbol that remains unconscious to them, it belongs to the part of the shadow – behaviors that are know to be troublesome.. A symbol connected with crows is death and rebirth. Depending the context of the dream the crows can be both negative or positive.

Interesting. I knew crows symbolized death but everything else I read had me contemplating deeper as I searched the last one.

To make a handprint in your dream indicates your desire to do something important and leave an impression on others.

That.. That was it?

With a tired 'whatever', I'd shut the laptop and had climbed into bed with my last thoughts being 'dreams were just dreams. Not like they meant anything.'

Right?

---

With the signal changing to cross with its chime drawing me back to the moment at hand, I glanced to my watch and shifted my bag once again and started to speed walk across the street hoping that with my hustling it, I could just be a few minutes late. I made it about 3 quarters the way to the other side when a large vehicle speeds up to the corner of the street and I make the mistake of turning to look at it as it harshly slows to a halt when hold up my hands as my legs freeze in front of it.

I see my watery reflection in the silver grill of the car, my face barely clearing the hood of what I gather is a tanned hummer and become assaulted with flashes of dark streets, bright headlights, hear the roaring of an angry engine and my legs tremble as pain shoots in several places of my body. My breath leaves me as my stomach rolls, my lungs heave air in and out faster than I can tolerate and feel my head become light as adrenalin surges through me.

I don't even hear the honking from the cars. My hands tremble as I breath and relive those painful minutes, over and over again in seconds that dragged on. Its when the driver revved their engine and jerks towards me that I break the state I'm in with an unstable step backwards and with the feeling of trying to outrun the dark SUV in my past, I take off in a dead sprint to the studio.

Each step, each ragged breath that heaves from my lungs, each harsh beat from my chest and I feel the places in my body that had been crushed under the weight of that dark car, pulse with what I can only now say is 'phantom pain'. But I don't stop. I don't stop until the studio is in sight and I see a woman outside, talking on the phone under the cover of the studio sign.

Heart thundering in my ears I slow down when I get close to the same place and for some strange reason, cast a glance over my shoulder and look for that damn car, pushing water out of my eyes as I scan the streets.

"I'm waiting outside, they're inside asking about when the class is going to start." The woman on the phone whines and I manage to fight down the urge to puke.

Right. Class. My appointment. Turning away from the streets I look back to the doors and with my chest rising and falling trying to get my breathing under control, I lean sideways to get the woman's attention with a quiet hand wave.

"Excuse me, if I could just," I point past her to the doors and she casts me a glare and steps aside from the front doors. I mutter a thanks and pull the metallic handle and step inside, shaking off the excess water from my arms.

"I know. Some people are so rude, cutting in on a conversation like that." That had me stopping and looking over my shoulder at her and see she has continued on with her phone call and just as I am about to head deeper inside when I see a large car pull into a spot just past the glass doors and my blood cools.

The Hummer. And who hops out? The yoga instructor for the class beside us. I watch her move quickly out of the rain and talk to the other woman who laughs and takes a to-go cup the instructor offers and takes off the lid while they chat to themselves. I gap and watch them take out their phone and snap a picture from the top view of their cup before stirring up the drink and place the lids back on. I stood there and watched them walk in and the instructor's eyes meet mine and no doubt recognition hits her.

"Thanks for stopping like dumbass in the middle of the cross walk, your lucky I've got good breaks." I open my mouth to speak but for some odd reason, I can't think of anything to say. I just stand there, no doubt looking like the idiot she just accused me of. They scoff and head off to their class while I internally kick myself for not saying anything.

I can't believe I just stood here!

Again!

God, the fact that I had an episode like that and froze.. It.. had me stewing and stomping towards Jin's half. By the time I was swinging open the door to his section, I was practically vibrating. I wanted to go back to that woman and just… I don't know. Something.

"Hello Elodie." Jin called as he stood up from his desk chair.

"Sorry I'm late. Some chick in a hummer nearly clipped me at the crosswalk." I say as I drop off my bag. "All but made me jump half way onto the sidewalk." I blow out a breath and internally force my heart to stop its frantic beating so that it wasn't drowning out everything else and nerves down as I dried myself off with the small towel I pulled from my bag.

"No problem, these things happen."

Those words…

I stopped wiping down my arms and neck as they settled over me and delved deep adding to the burning sensation that I hadn't noticed that had taken up residence in my chest and spread outwards until my hands shook as I wringed out the towel.

You know the sound a really dry twig makes when its snaps?

I think I vaguely heard something like that in my head as I turned on my heel and with an over-the-top smile on my face started striding to him. He stood up, smiling and lifted the yellow band for stretching in offering and I, whilst still smiling, grabbed his wrist, pulled him forward and moved my foot behind his leg and pushed him backwards in an attempt to trip him. I don't know where the urge had come from, but I was just along for the ride.

He moved so quick I nearly missed what had happened, but he managed to tuck his head under my arm and step out behind me, jolting me forward several steps. Angrily I spun around to face him.

"Just... Whoa. Okay?" He held his hands up in a sign of peace and I didn't even slow down, even as the small thought that he didn't deserve my anger popped into my head as I kicked at the band he was holding by his waist and felt a spark of smugness when he looked to where it had flown off to and after it landed, he faced me square on. Bringing my arm back fully, I clenched my hand and swung outward in a wide ark that he ducked under as I spun with my own arms momentum. "Okay. Just... Elodie, I need you to calm down."

"I don't want to be calm!" I shout back to him and I see his demeanor shift as I lift my arms up, fists clenched and throw a punch forward. He watched and moved deftly to the right of my punch, clearing it by half a foot.

"Yeah?" He asks as I throw out my opposite fist and he moved out of the way of that one too, but this time, he seemed to be watching my arms, a small grin forming. "Yeah!" I didn't have time to notice his encouraging tone as I pull my right arm back again and go for a full swing when he ducks under it again. "Hey. You got skills." I go for my left again but with quick movements, he traps my wrist and pulls me so my feet fumble and I have my arms criss crossed over my chest with my back pinned to his chest. "What, you got brothers?" He asks as air heaving in and out of me.

"No." I bite out. "Worse."

"Your dad wanted boys?" He jokes and I attempt to pull my arms but with no luck.

"The system wasn't gentile with me, alright?" I try to blow a lock of hair out of my face but with it still being wet, it just wavers and hanging limply in my line of sight.

"Oh yeah?" His voice turned softer and I don't like it.

"I don't like talking about it." I manage as I struggle, jerking my body and my wrists in all kinds of directions. "Now, let me go."

"You can get out anytime you want. l'll show you." He straightens and I notice his hold on my wrists tighten. "But first, you need to calm down. Breathe." I struggled for another minute before I managed to do what he asked. My head thundered and my muscles screamed to move and yet, I couldn't get out of his grip. When my breathing got to a pace he was good with he leaned his head over my shoulder, just a little. "Hands like Houdini." I cast a look out of my side-eye before relaxing my hands so that they were open rather than clenched fists "Good. Now, turn your palms down, and all at once, throw your hands to the ground and your hips back."

My eyes burned and my head was straining to make a semi-cohesive thought but I managed to do what he explained and from the momentum, I found myself falling to the ground, my legs giving out as I broke from the hold.

"Nice." With blurred vision I manage to get to my knees and see Jin kneel down to meet me at eye level. "That was good." He looks off somewhere and leaves my sight for a minute before he comes back, yellow band in hand. "What's going on, Elodie?" He offers me a hand to help me stand but I can't find it in me to take it. Blinking hard my chest stutters as I try to keep it together but when he sinks back down to meet me at eye level again, I find it hard to just stay off the floor "You can tell me. Where's your head at?"

Where indeed. My world felt like it was in shreds, like a photograph cut into narrow strips then jumbled up. Everything is there, but you can't see the whole picture and even the strips have no bearing on reality.

"I don't want to do water aerobics or rubber band stretches." I find myself admitting after a second.

That has him nodding slowly and holding his hands out again, palms up in offering. "Alright. Then what do you want?"

"I want..." I struggled to put it into words, like when I had been talking to Taniesha. I looked away from him and towards the window and watched people walking freely. Unconcerned. Unafraid. "I-I don't want to feel like I did that night. Or just ten minutes ago for the matter." I looked back to him.

"Feel like what?"

"Like a goddamn deer in headlights." I swallowed and without having to even close my eyes, I could see it all again. Hear it. The revving, the tires, the impact, the sirens… the pain. "Frozen. Terrified. Defenceless." My hands were wringing together, my knuckles popping gently. "If I had just thought to move, run or something!" I could feel my jaw lightly trembling while my eyes began to burn. "Then I wouldn't... feel like this or look like this…" My head shakes knocking a few of my hair strands loose to fall in front of my face as I swallow and run my hands over the top of my head, drawing them away. Jin watched me as I ranted, his eyes locked on me, face neutral. "Every time I am out there and see the looks that people give me, whether it be friends or neighbors, like they think that I am going to break any minute because of what happened, I am terrified that I will." I inhale and press my fingers to my eyelids, pushing through the headache as the truth slipped out of me. "But I don't want give anyone or anything that… power. Or satisfaction." My hand drops to my side and meet his dark eyes. "I'm not saying that I want to actively go looking for fights or situations but I don't want to be a defenceless pushover either." I finish and sink into a hunched slouch. "I'm tired of feeling afraid."

"I see.." He trails off and for a hard few minutes, just looks at me. He walks back to his desk and comes to my side with a bottle of water. "Have you ever heard of aikido?"

I shook my head as I took it from him and limply cracked the top. "Sounds like an air conditioner."

He chuckled and pushed his dark hair out of his eyes.

"No. Eye-key-doh, is a modern Japanese martial art that many people use to defend themselves while also protecting their attackers from injury."

I finish taking a good mouthful of water, swish it around my mouth before capping it once again. "So its just a defensive art?"

"Aikido ain't a defensive nor offensive martial art. One thing that makes aikido so powerful, is that it proactively halts the enemy's intention to attack by utilizing the power of opponents to win the fight, turning movements that redirect the opponent's attack momentum."

I thought back to how he could just spin and turn out from the way I had blindly been swinging at him. I hadn't even landed a punch and yet, I felt exhausted.

"So what, they can't attack you if they're unconscious from landing on the ground with their misdirected body weight?" I offer and his head bobbed side to side.

"Essentially. It's comprised of various techniques, primarily throws and joint locks."

"Sound like something I should read up on." I mutter and flinch when he flicks my forehead with his finger. "Hey!" It hadn't necessarily hurt, but my hand still lifted to rub the spot.

"If you try to learn with just your intellect, Elodie, it is more difficult to absorb the teachings on a deep level. The mind looks at something and says, I don't want that; I want this instead. Like you and your water aerobics." He explains softly. "But as you simply continue to train, regardless of the form, something changes. What changes is deeper than your intellectual knowledge, deeper than mind or heart."

"I see what you're saying, it's just that it stays simple to me if I can read it and store it away. That's what I have been good at." I rub my forehead. "Its what I've only been good at."

"Simplicity matters. Especially when it comes to the muscle memory of things. That is perhaps rule number one. Simplicity works. Simplicity is also repetition. Repetition is function. Boil function down to one action, maybe two." He held his hands out one at a time. "Left or right. Simplicity. Simplicity is, to some, really the hardest thing."

"Makes sense." I nodded and looks down at my hands and the disgust I felt when I saw them lightly trembling hand me looking back to Jin. "Could you teach me? Aikido?" I ask and watch him shift foot to foot.

"I would say that its not the regulated recovery course for a case like yours.." That had me wringing my hands again, my joints popping under my fingers. "But if this is something you are thinking of pursuing.. I have one thing I need you to do to make sure you are doing this confidently and with full mental clarity."

I felt a flicker of excitement and apprehension. "And what's that?"

"Take a swing at me." He flicked his fingers towards himself in a 'come on' gesture that had me raising my brows at him.

"You want me to hit you again?"

"I want you to try." His tone was cooler, neutral. Standing I took my fighting stance, like a boxer with both arms up in front of my face, and tried a nice easy swing and let out a hissed breath when he pushed my arm away.

"Again." He wasn't necessarily yelling, but he wasn't speaking quietly like he had before. Putting more force into it, he also batted that away, this time making my arm sting. "Come on!" He goaded and I brought my hands up again and clenched them tight. He had his hands up, wide open and just watched me. I tried to do a fake out with my left and swung with my right, really putting some force behind it when the world moved and spun as he had me by the arm and with my own momentum tossed me around and before I knew it, I had my legs flying in the air and my back landing hard on the mat below me, air leaving my lungs and stalling to come back in.

With a harsh couple of coughs I slip to my side and look up at him.

"Why did you do that?" I cough. "You didn't say you were going to try to hit me back!"

"I never said I wouldn't defend myself." He pointed out as he lowered himself to my level once again as I managed to get up. "Let me be clear, Elodie, this pain, the one from just being tossed to the ground, is the least you could do to someone with the right techniques. For me to teach you, I want you to have firsthand knowledge of taking it before dishing it out. To know the harm you can inflict on someone will help you make conscious decisions on whether or not to engage or to dissolve a fight." He looked straight into my eyes, and I met them square on. "Do you understand what I am saying to you?"

I pondered over his words and lifted a hand to my shoulders, felt the fading ringing from the muscles there before they settled. For the first time since I had met him, Jin looked cold. Serious. This wasn't a decision to take lightly and after a minute of debating on it, I found myself offering my hand. He looked down to it and grasping it tightly, he helped me to my feet. The look on my face must've said it all since his whole demeanor shifted once again.

"Then lets get you ready for anything."

And goddamn he certainly did.

He had started off with the basics, sometimes going into over extended appointment times and even letting me stay after our time was up to use the studio to cool down or ask questions between his other clients. He never once seemed to mind, as long as I didn't interrupt time with the other clients. I think overall, he was intrigued by the way I was able to pick things up. My mind able to catalogue motions and being able to execute them so quickly was a shock even to me.

My muscles seemed to hum as I moved, the motions after the first few times coming to me easily and soon I was executing complicated twists, spins, grapples and throws with such precision I was amazed myself.. It felt fluid, moving so. It had looked like a dance when Jin had instructed me. And now, I felt like I moved like one. Just one who was able to do a few new tricks, and they sure as hell didn't look like a pirouette.

"Back to work, Monday?" Jin asked.

Had the time between us moved that fast? I found myself asking as I looked sideways to him. I was resting on my knees, my knuckles digging into the mat beneath me while he himself was breathing heavily. I felt sweat sliding over my neck as I tried to catch my breath. Our last appointment had been routine with our generic sparring. He was the one to take offensive and after a quick shifting gears, we were all over the mats, throwing eachother into locks, landing hits to one another, even now my ribs ached but it was a good ache, because he looked just about as rough as I did. My final move that had him backing off was a solid placed drop kick to his stomach.

Even know, I felt damn proud of it.

"Yes, I don't know if I am looking forward to it or kind of dreading it." I lean back resting my hands on my thighs as I calmed my breathing like he taught me. I had done breathing techniques before, but nothing like the ones he told me about. It was like meditation and yoga mixed together. I loved it. It cleared my mind faster than anything I had done in the past.

"Well, in the weeks you have learned about as.. well as much as I can teach you." He admitted sounding a little bittersweet. "Today is our last class together."

I felt the bittersweet sting of that fact settle over me as well and took it with a smile.

"I can't thank you enough with how much you've helped me, let alone taught me. You didn't have too, but you did anyway." My words were earnest and seemed to have momentarily taken him by surprise. Wiping his hands on a towel close by, he cleared his throat and rose to his feet.

"Both doctors and your work stressed about you being in best fitness before returning to work. Oh!" He snapped his fingers. "That reminds me, I have your note for your work in my car. I'll go grab it." He walked to his desk and snagged his keys. "Be right back."

I was sitting down with a towel over my shoulder wiping sweat from my brows when I saw the hummer from that day in the rain, pull into a parking spot and felt a small heat fill my chest as Nicole Anders, the owner, hopped out then headed in. I observed her as she moved into the studio, her group following in not long after in clumps or solo. I had noticed them stopping now and again when their sessions were done to watch Jin and me spar. And now, they slowed to look through the wall of glass to peer inside and some eyes landed on me. My eyes landed on Nicole and when she looked back to me, I raised my brow.

"Interested in taking a class?" I offer loud enough to be heard through the glass wall and take a long sip of water. One brunette looks at me as she finished rolling out her yoga mat and looks like she's contemplative for a second. She moved past the group and into the doorway to Jin's half of the studio, her head peeking in.

"It certainly looks interesting." Her head tilts to the side as she looks me over. "You look as though you've barely broken a sweat." Her words are in jest and I find myself smiling in turn.

"Ill take that as a compliment." I pat the sides of my face with my towel once more as Nicole lifts her chin.

"I wouldn't suggest it Laurie." She calls as she joins them from the adjoining room. "I heard that UFC fighters get punched in the head in their first bout so hard that cerebrum fluid starts trickling out of their eyes sockets."

"This isn't UFC." I state but falls on deaf ears.

"Perfect example of excessive force, which we should not be involved with." Nicole laid a hand on Laurie's shoulder. "We are here to work on our spiritual center and contemplate the ways of how the world works."

"Sweet Jesus." I mutter with an eye roll and get a solid glare from Nicole.

"It's also a good example in which we can expand our thoughts about this evolutionary circle were stuck in where there a group of people in the world that should be more focused on some countries that have no drinking water than violence such as this."

"If it makes you feel better about yourself then have a go at it." I toss back and see her back straighten.

"And not to mention that there's a decent sized group that get paid millions of dollars to knee eachother in the face." She points to Jin's desk.

"This is a self defence class that teaches you how to defend yourself with misdirected energy from your opponent. Not brute force." I try once more and nearly groan when she presses onwards.

"Remember Laurie, martial arts, regardless if it's mixed or otherwise should not be more crowded than it already is." She looked back to me; her chin still held up high. "They already have enough people in that domain and you do not need to join the troupe of fat necked ruffians who are paid billions of dollars to try to stomp on eachother."

She certainly... painted a vivid picture. Her mental image that comes to mind might be some Chad or Mike that juices everyday and could maybe eat the weightlifts rather than use them, but mine was Jin. Someone who talked about respecting the pain you were about to inflict before doing it, agile and supportive. Now if she had been telling me this in plain ignorance, without happening to have stopped a few times to watch in the past, I would have let it go. But it was her Mean Girls attitude that had me putting the cap back on my water with a little more force than probably necessary.

That, and her fucking Hummer that came to mind that had me standing up and starting towards them, my eyes set on Hummer Driving Twit.

"She's absolutely right Laurie." I nod, my eyes open over exaggeratedly. "She's right. We don't need more people in that category of, as you so colourfully put it Nicole, 'fat necked ruffians'. But then again it's just the same as yoga should not be taught by 22-year-old gym instructors that did a one-week yoga retreat in Bali," I mockingly exaggerate the city with my head, swiveling a little whimsically, "who now gets around in low-slung fisherman pants with a Platt, talking about mindfulness like they've ever had any serious life experience at all."

They gasp and the group looks from one another and then all eyes shift to their instructor who looks a cross between pissed, shocked and hurt. I find myself shrugging.

"I'm sorry," I say more to the other yoga goers meeting their eyes before locking back with Nicole, "you can tell me to relax and to center myself when you spend maybe 10 or 15 years considering what that actually means. I say 10 to 15 since that's how long Jin has being doing this type of work, the kind being helping women such as ourselves become more confident and stronger to help us in every day life and not just going around stomping on people.. You would know that if you took 20 minutes to pull your head out of your ass to educate yourself about what it is. So until you can do that, then you can go back to being ignorant while taking photos of the froth on your coffee and shut the fuck up!" I say exasperatedly at her and see her flinch backwards.

The group around her are silent, mouths hung open and looking between the two of us. Nicole scoffs and tries to look unfazed but I can tell she has lost a following. And that is good enough for me. I even smile when the group around her heads back to the collection of laid out mats as I start to take a step back when she steps into my space, her nose an inch from mine.

"Shame my car didn't squish you." She grits out and I see a figure stepping up behind her.

"You better step off my girl before she tosses your ass around like the fake Malibu Barbie you tryin' to be." Taniesha calls getting her attention and for a second, I think she's contemplating taking out her large silver hoops and going after this woman. That has me nearly smiling. When Nicole stalks off, Taniesha looks form her to me. "You would have broken her fake ass no problem." She says walking over to my side. She looked tired, her clothes wrinkled and hair colour fading.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I walk back further into the studio, hearing her footsteps following me in.

"Here to kidnap you. And as a bonus, see you verbally lay someone out." She snapped her fingers. "Should've recorded it."

"You can get my copy since I record everything that happens in the workshop." Jin calls walking back in, a slender envelop in his hand. Quick introductions are made but are cut short when Taniesha took a phone call from Andrew outside while I got my papers.

"Everything you will need for your first day back is in there, but my number is on the card stapled to the last sheet in case you have any follow-up questions or concerns."

"I may have convinced a few of the yoga class to get a few lessons from you." That had his brows lifting and a smile gracing his face, his crows feet peeking out. He offered his hand which I took. The shake was tight and had me smiling as I started out to the door, envelope tucking into a pocket of my bag.

"Oh, before I forget," I turn and stop at the end of the mat and face him fully as he looks at me. Placing my hands at my sides, I stand up straight and slowly bow at the waist. I kept my eyes on him before they closed and my head bowed downward. "Thank you, Sensei."

Lifting my head, I watched something flicker over his face before he returned the gesture. No words needed beyond that, I head out, not even glancing to Nicole's group as I met up with Taniesha who just finished her call.

We headed towards where she said she was parked and the Hummer caught my eyes and I strongly wanted to kick her bumper. But instead, Taniesha looked to me and raised a brow.

"What you thinking 'bout doing?" She asked and traced a finger over her brow. "You wanna key her car or-"

"No. Nothing like that." I admit as I looked towards the studio. She was far enough away where her car was out of view of the large front facing window. I could be the bigger person and walk away. I could. If I wanted to.

Instead, I moved around to the back of it and crouched down, her licence plate in front of my face. My hand lifted and with a slight catch of my nail, peeled off her most current registration sticker. Smiling with the slender sticker in my palm, I started back to Taniesha.

"I don't want to mess up her property, just fuck up her day." I say and show her the sticker in my hand. She looks at it, then to me with a brow raised.

"You're going to make her go to the DMV?"

"Mhm. And have her wait in those long ass lines that take forever. Its either that or, from how I have seen her drive, she'll get pulled over for speeding or reckless driving sooner rather than later." I grin when her eyes widen as my point becomes clearer.

"I am seeing you in a whole new light." She admits, but her smile must match my own. "Though I would have done much worse."

"No doubt. You do like to cause riots."

"Hey now, I am not a rioter. Er- wait," her eyes narrow in thought. "I am not one who riots."

"I find that hard to believe." I laugh as she nudges me.

"Well, there's too much smoke and I got asthma, you know?" She frowns and lays a hand to her chest. "It would get in-between me and my message, I wouldn't even be able to get the full saying or slogan of whatever I'm rioting about, out."

"Sounds like a reasonable reason to not go to ham hocked on making a point." I tease and get a playful shove.

"Alright, since your all good to go, and have a black belt now and shit, what would you do to really nail your point home?"

"I don't think I even got a belt but if I wanted to really nail a point home.. I would go…" I thought on it for a second and smiled. "I would go find out her house-"

"And break in?" She cuts in and I almost laugh when we separate to go to either side of her car.

"If I could manage it," I shrug. "sure. And then take like… her best wine.. Like most expensive stuff she had." I nod as the thought unraveled while Taniesha stares at me from over the top of her car.

"That's it?"

"And shove it in the freezer." I finish and watch her mouth hang open before her head leans back while she laughs.

"Oooh. You'd mess up that chicks next celebration." She claps.

"And ruin her freezer." I add and she just laughs more.

"Man. That's like.. Alright, so you'd be like a petty rioter." She points out and I can't help but laugh at that.

"Yeah. My chaos comes in waves." I say as she turns to grab her seat belt.

"I can't wait to see a big one."

"I'll be sure to get a message to you on when to clear out when it happens." I buckle in as she turns on her ignition.

"Definitely."

"Now, kidnapper, where are you taking me, where are we going?"

"We, being Andrew and I are going to take you out to dinner in celebration of finishing up your physical therapy and as a pre-welcome back to work dinner."

"You don't have to-"

"Don't even." She held up a finger, her long acrylic nail touching the tip of my nose. When I said nothing but just gave her a small smile, she settled back in her seat. "Now, are you ready, Elodie?"

That reminded me of what Jin had said and I found myself sitting a little straighter, my chin held high.

"For anything." I returned.

But little did I know the weight of my words would have in the future.

AN:

Hello guys!

This chapter took a little longer than I wanted, but I hope you all could follow along with it. It's a little bit longer to make up for the wait and hoped you guys enjoyed it! Next chapter is already halfway done, so just bear with me! I love hearing you what you guys think and love reading your reviews! Makes me feel like this story is worthwhile.

Question Time;

Did you expect the conversation between Elodie and Isaac to go that way?

What do you think Isaac was getting at before Elodie cut him off?

What changes are you noticing in Elodie? And more, do you like them?

And last… Where did she go? and How?

Can't wait to hear your theories..

BONUS;

watch?v=KRC4SHOsbbc

Scene inspired vaguely by this song. Take a listen and show the creator some love!

Alright, that's enough out of me.

Until next time!

IMME