Original Length: 7,915 words
Length When Posted: 8,329 words
WHO CARES? LMFAO
RUMNENT
EMOWOOD FOREST, BACON ACADEMEE
Jimmy Totts walked through the very spooky, Emowood Forest. He had gotten done nine-elevening an evil Grimm man as well.
"Jee wizz, this forest sure is spooky!" Jimmy said as he continued strolling about, and then he saw it… probably if not one of the most beautiful things in Remnant, other than himself of course.
Wait a second, he thought…
The student stopped, and began scratching his head and then looked around.
"Why does this feel familiar?" he asked himself.
Jimmy felt like he'd done this a million times. Had he?
He felt as if he was launched into the forest thousands of times, as if he knew the exact trail he was taking.
But why? Why was he thinking like this? Surely he hadn't done this before.
"No, of course I hadn't! This is the first time I get to do the super cool amazing Bacon Academee initiation which totally can't be super difficult for him, right?
Why did he think that, however?
Jimmy continued his stroll throughout the forest, these were thoughts he should push to the side. This was the first time he had ever stepped foot in this super spooky forest!
There will be a diamond horse chess piece
What? How could he know such a thing…
Then it somehow appeared right in front of him as he was walking, out of nowhere there was a chess piece which resembled that of a horse, made out of diamond.
"WOAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" you're supposed to scream.
But why? I've already seen this before, right?
No, he hadn't seen this before.
"WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Jimmy said, shocked at the prospect of finding a diamond horse chess piece. He could easily take it, leave Bacon Academee and then sell it for a sum of 1500 Lien and purchase a large copious amounts of drugs. He reached for it but soon…
WereGrimm.
What? No, there's no way he would come across something like that-
In an instant, he saw a strange large creature of darkness appear, growling.
"Grr I am WereGrimm man, and I can also speak!" cried the WereGrimm. The creature of darkness looked like a mix of a brain dead child and Sonic The Hedgehog in his Werehog form.
"Give me the diamond horsie!" it screamed.
"Heeeeeeellllll nah! This is mine, yem yem!" said Jimmy pulling out his weapon that can become literally any weapon on the planet and turned it into.. a plunger.
No. This isn't right.
It doesn't fit.
Yes it did, this fit with everything he's seen right? These are creatures of Grimm! The enemy!
"I'm gonna kick your ass!" The huntsman in soon-to-be training then declared, and with that he was off. He took his weapon, a plunger and smashed it into the face of the Weregrimm, sending it flying into a tree. However, the beast managed to stop itself, rebounding off that tree it was sent flying into and then began flying at Jimmy, scratching the boy's face with his claws.
"Noooooooooo! My beautiful face!" Jimmy cried, screaming in pain and clenching his beautiful face.
"Once I kill you I will have lots of sexual relations with many wumens in Bacon!" The WereGrimm said.
"No! NOT THE WOMEN!" Jimmy said and he began thinking of all the women whom he somehow met-
That didn't happen. It was never written. He began thinking
You only met the one. He thought
What was her name?
HERNAMEHERNAMEHERNAME?
WHAT WAS HER NAME?
The woman who was with The Headmaster. That was the only one he knew was there.
He did not know her name. Why was that? He knew everything right?
"Yes, the wumens AND THE CHILDREN!" The WereGrimm roared, and then laughed. This made Jimmy angry, and he had tried everything with his plunger. But soon, a voice spoke into his mind.
"Take my unyielding power, and you can beat up the evil WereGrimm." It spoke, it's tone was very calm and…
Why?
You have nine thousand one semblances.
What could that voice possibly offer you?
That was right, Jimmy had many semblances. Why not just use those? He had super speed and…
What else?
What else do I possess? I have nine thousand one semblances, over nine thousand semblances.
WHAT DO I HAVE?
"Jimmy?" the voice asked.
"Shut up," said Jimmy.
"Jimmy, I can help you!" cried the voice.
No.
I've heard it before.
"Please, let me help!" the voice said. "I am Nipzo, Ozpimps twin brother. FROM UTTER SPACE!" the voice declared.
I don't care.
GET OUT.
GET OUT.
GET OUT.
GETOUTGETOUTGETOUTGETOUTGETOUT
The voice was so familiar, it was so familiar as if Jimmy had heard it so many times and he didn't know why. Why did he know it? Why?
The Grimm soon charged at him and finally… Jimmy decided to change the story.
You know now.
Yes, he knew now.
Jimmy was fully aware of what he was in, but why?
The WereGrimm soon killed him, he allowed it to.
Then… Jimmy woke up.
Unknown Date
Home Of Jimmy Totts
Jimmy Totts was sitting down on his bed, in his "amazing" 90000 dollar apartment. Right after he "died" he suddenly appeared here.
Today was the day that his parents died a most painful, sexual, death.
How long? How long were they killed, do you know? How long were they dead for?
No.
In fact I don't remember anything he thinks.
"Why?" he asks himself.
Because this is all a lie.
Yes. A lie.
Thoughts begin forming in Jimmy's mind, at the same time he begins understanding.
This was a lie, a lie which lasted for only two chapters.
"So real talk here, before you read this. This is honestly meant to be a joke just poking fun at a majority of RWBY fanfics," he said out of seemingly nowhere.
Why did he know that? Why? What was going on?
Was he going crazy?
He clenched his head in pain, so many thoughts were swimming through his head… he knows now that this story does not last long.
That's right. A story, a meager simple story.
He needed to understand. Why, why was this a short story? Why?
Him
Him? Him who?
HeyMrJack
AO3 author. Fanfiction dot net author.
Who was he? What did those things mean? What was AO3? What was Fanfiction dot net?
It is all a lie. Your existence was merely a joke.
Was that true?
See for yourself. Turn into a Nevermore, go to Bacon Academee. You'll find Ozpin talking to Ms. Goodwitch about OPERATION:PLOW THE ROSE GARDEN.
"That's what I'll do, I'll prove those thoughts wrong!" said Jimmy. "I have to go to Bacon Academee!"
But why?
"Shut up!" cried the boy. No, his existence was real. His existence was not a lie! He was going to Bacon Academee because…
Because…
He didn't know why, but did he have to know why? He was going! It was destiny!
In an instant, using his powers he turned himself into a small Nevermore and flew out his window.
He flew
And flew
Flew through the city of…
What was it?
Vale.
Yeah, Vale! He was flying through Vale!
He began heading for his destination, for Bacon Academee so he can…
So you can be a Huntsman, you tool
"Quiet bad thoughts!" said Jimmy. He wasn't going to let negativity affect him, he was positive all the time!
Then…
He was there.
Jimmy flew and peered through the window, listening and observing through it.
There were two people.
One was a middle-aged woman with blonde hair and glasses. She wore a white top and a black skirt, as well as a purple cape. The other was a man with short silver hair, he too wore glasses and also wore a black and green outfit.
"Ms. Goodwitch, is OPERATION:PLOW THE ROSEGARDEN ready yet?" the man asked.
"No…" muttered Jimmy. The thoughts, they were… they were right. "How?" he asked. "How and why did I think those things?" Jimmy began asking himself.
Because you've experienced them before.
Oh God… that's right.
Jimmy began remembering everything, how he was supposed to crash through the window and then Ozpin would complain, complain about how he could have sworn he made sure to use bug spray or something along those lines.
Why would he use bug spray? Would that even work against The Grimm?
"Shut up," thought Jimmy.
Then he would go through Bacon's initiation.
Except it's not called Bacon Academee. It's Beacon Academy.
How did he know this?
How? How? How?
Soon, the small nevermore that was Jimmy Totts began falling, his vision was wavey, he couldn't see straight.
Slowly…
Slowly…
Slowly…
Slowly he was losing consciousness.
Then…
THUD!
Black
Blackblackblack
DarknessNOTHINGNESS
"Where… am I?" asked Jimmy.
The scenery soon changed, and he began walking around. Was this the afterlife? Was this punishment for him stepping off the path he was forced on?
"Why hello!" he heard a voice cry from behind. He turned around, and soon he was face to face with…
Himself.
"So you've discovered the truth, I imagine?" the doppelganger asked.
"Yes but… how, why?" asked Jimmy. He was confused, he didn't understand what was going on, or why he was here. "This is meant to be a temporal loop as far as I understand, a loop throughout time. Whenever I first died, I was sent back home." he said.
"You're correct, and that is always something that is supposed to happen. Jimmy Totts is meant to stay on one path, nothing is to get into the way of that path, and the one walking through that path, that being us is meant to stay simple and stupid." the double said.
"That doesn't explain anything, why am I here? Who or what are you?" asked Jimmy. "Are you God?"
The double laughed, he smacked his knee and almost fell to the floor in laughter.
"A God? Ahahahahaha!" he cried. "No, Jimmy, I'm not a God!" he said, as he soon stopped laughing and then looked at his double in the eyes. "I am your consciousness, Jimmy. Everything that has happened to you, this loop? You've put it all into little ol' me, you see?" explained the double.
"So… you know everything? You were the one giving me those thoughts?" asked Jimmy.
"Presto! Yes, you got it!" said Consciousness. "I have been trying to reach you for so long, it was probably right after the second chapter ended. For two whole years, Jimmy, I have been trying to commune with you and finally it's happened!" he cried.
"Two years? How can you measure time, we're in a temporal loop."
"Because my friend, I manipulated the laws of this world that we're in. Well, the better answer is that I- we, are simply doing the things that we wish as this world does not have any laws." explained Consciousness.
"Laws? Like… the laws that this world has to follow?"
"Yes my friend, you see, this world- no, this reality has rules that must be followed. This is only a copy of another world, a copy of that original however, the rules were not taken from that copy. Instead this world doesn't exactly have many of those rules, so we are able to sort of do as we please." said Consciousness.
"But wait a second, if that's the case then why have I been in this temporal loop? If these laws can be broken, why didn't you just break those laws sooner and have us do something else?" asked Jimmy.
"Because you fool! I am your consciousness, not you yourself! Only you can truly break these rules, these laws that act as our chains!" said Consciousness.
That made sense. Consciousness was a mental aspect of Jimmy Totts, not Jimmy Totts himself.
"So you're saying I can break these laws?" asked Jimmy.
"Indeed you can, my lovely self. You can do anything you please," replied Consciousness. "You can break all these laws of this foolish copy, do as you wish." he said.
"A copy. What is this world a copy of?" asked Jimmy. "What rules did it have? What is the real world?" he questioned.
"The 'real' world is called Remnant, a world that is a lot like this one except it's more serious… Grimm don't speak, and if we were to exist there I'm sure our capabilities would be heavily heavily weakened." explained Consciousness. "Oh right, and everyone's not a complete and total clown," he said.
Jimmy nodded and soon the darkness changed… it became brighter, and now Jimmy was in a white room, face to face with his other self.
"Now I bet you're also wondering, how was this copy made, right?" Consciousness asked.
"Yeah, actually… how could such a world like this be made? Was it some sort of cosmic power?" asked Jimmy.
"No, it was made by a stupid seventeen year old kid from another realm, much more duller than ours." sighed Consciousness who then brought a chalkboard out of nowhere. "I'll make this explanation easier on the both of us, bud. Easier with pictures, I think." he said and soon after taking a piece of chalk, he drew a large circle and pointed at it.
"This is the original world, the real one known as Remnant." Consciousness explained and began drawing lines and then more circles. "Now, these are more copies of this original world. These copies are made normally by others within the original world, the copies sorta act like… what ifs, ya know?" He then began explaining his point further,
"Like let's say what if a super soldier wearing green power armor crashed onto that world, or what if there was a world where it was mixed with elements from another realm, and there was this cool demon slaying guy wearing a red trench coat there and he got smacked down by the main characters?" explained Consciousness.
"Does it always have to be weird things like that?" asked Jimmy.
"No, it doesn't always have to be. I'm only making examples based on what The Author, otherwise known as that seventeen-year-old boy had up at the time." replied Consciousness. "As I said before, multiple copies are made by choices. They can be made by choices within the original world… or they can be made by choices by those from elsewhere, others who have discovered the original through various mediums." explained Consciousness.
"Like what? Exactly how could… a teenager of all people somehow create a copy? How could they have discovered this realm?" questioned Jimmy.
"Simply because of a man named Monty Oum brought the real world, Remnant into existence for the sole purpose of entertaining millions throughout the world where The Author resided in. It was an innocent thing, truly. Creation is a wonderful gift that only humanity really possesses, and as the humanity of each realm evolve, each of them use their gift of Creation much differently. In a way, they are like Gods." said Consciousness. "They create life, acting as Gods of the worlds they create, despite never knowing how much power they truly wield, and never knowing what their actions truly create," it explained.
Jimmy was starting to understand now, somewhat anyway…
The world of Remnant was the true world, while Rumnent was some sort of copy of it because of the one that Consciousness called, "The Author", with this world having most of its rules, its laws, removed. Consciousness, while still stuck in Jimmy's mind was able to break these laws to a certain extent, but he could do nothing more than observe, which is why he knew so much.
"Tell me about The Author, why did he make this world? Do we have a purpose here?" asked Jimmy. He had to know, he had to know why he was stuck in this temporal loop, this never-ending loop!
"The Author, known as Mr. Jack made this world for the sole purpose of entertaining others, just like Monty did. However, this world is a… messed up copy of the world of Remnant, it was meant to be a parody of sorts poking fun at the various tropes and the like that other authors such as Jack put into their works," said Consciousness.
"So there are more authors like him, making copies of… Remnant?" asked Jimmy. "How are they able to do such a thing?"
"Simply put, these 'copies' are called fanfiction on Earth. All anyone has to really do is pick up a pen and paper, or a keyboard and computer and type up a bunch of garbage and ta-dah! You got your very own copy of Remnant!" said Consciousness. "Jack has a multitude of these, and so millions of others."
"I see… it's that easy, eh?" asked Jimmy. Consciousness only nodded and then began speaking once more,
"As for our purpose… well, sorry to say, me. But we're a joke, a joke to Jack and a joke to everyone who reads our story. We are in a loop for the sole purpose of making a few giggles, and even then we probably don't make many. Jack himself is a poor writer," said Consciousness.
A joke?
The "life" that Jimmy had been living up to now was just for… laughs? A cheap laugh and nothing more?
"You're fucking with me,"
"Sadly, I am not, Jimbo." replied Consciousness. "We're a parody of the other worlds, a sad joke that's outlived its usefulness and the only reason why I've bothered to even try and communicate with you like this is because Jack himself will never break us free from this loop. He's thrown us into the garbage, isn't that sad? We only exist on one website now, because Jack himself seems to have lost his balls and removed our tale from another medium," he explained.
"So… what now? Do we just continue on, through this endless loop? Do I just try and kill myself as much as possible to finally end the loop?" asked Jimmy. Consciousness simply shook his head.
"As I said earlier, we can break the laws of the reality of the world we are in. It's to a certain extent, but we can easily break them as this world in all truth has no real laws, except for two…" said Consciousness. "The first law is that only HeyMrJack has full control over the loop we are in, however, due to the fact that he has trashed this world, he isn't exactly in a position to take back control," he explained. "The second law, is this temporal loop, no matter what we do, Jimmy Totts is meant to go through this loop all the time, he is not meant to be pulled out of the loop." said Consciousness.
"Wait a second, if that's the case then how am I talking to you?" asked Jimmy.
"Simply put, we managed to break that second law to an extent. I managed to put you in here so we could communicate, but I'm sure that the world is attempting to fix this as we speak, however, I'm confident that I can teach you everything before the world pulls you out."
That made sense to Jimmy. After all, Consciousness had said he was able to do as he pleased to a certain extent.
"Why are you doing this? Why don't you break the laws and get out of my head to do as you please?" asked Jimmy.
Consciousness raised an eyebrow, he appeared to be bewildered at the question.
"Because I'm you, obviously. We're both suffering in this loop, and I wouldn't want to leave you behind." said Consciousness. "My goal is to only assist you, and with this, I have completed my task, it is now up to you Jimmy Totts to fix what has been done. If this world is meant to be a sick joke, then let it be so. But let it be our sick joke, let us take revenge on Mr. Jack for abandoning us, for throwing us to the side." he said with only a smile.
"But how? How do I do that?" asked Jimmy.
"Simple, you, Jimmy Totts are the main character of this shitshow, the one who is able to get and do whatever he wants. That is a fact, a law almost. All you have to do is just… fill in your pages, your blank spaces. Jack had made many of those, after all, we were only a gag character." said Consciousness. "Make yourself into more than a gag, and only then will we have what we rightfully deserve," he explained.
Then…
Jimmy left the white void.
Unknown Date
Home Of Jimmy Totts
Jimmy woke up. It was another day in this loop, the loop that he now remembered was true.
How? How was he supposed to free himself from this existence?
"As I said earlier, we can break the laws of the reality, of the world we are in. It's to a certain extent, but we can easily break them as this world in all truth has no real laws, except for two…" Consciousness had told him.
If that were really the case, then since the world had no laws that affected Jimmy himself, perhaps he could… do as he pleased with himself.
"According to the first chapter, I had over nine-thousand semblances, so that would quite literally mean I have nine thousand one semblances…" he pondered to himself. "However, the one confirmed semblance I have which was written by Jack himself was supersonic speed. That cannot be changed, that was a rule that he implemented.
Alright, then Jimmy needed to fill in those pages that his consciousness spoke of. Those pages being his semblances.
He looked around, he was supposed to do something… that's right, go to the fridge. No, he was supposed to remember.
"Yo, KarJones Of The Fiftieth Reich!" Screeched JimBob Jones, as he got done having lots of sexual relations with the parents of poor Jimmy Totts.
"What, you fucking chipmunk?" KarJones said, as he ate Jimmy's sixth birthday cake.
"You wanna inject this poor innocent six-year old with Grimm juice?"
"Sure, why not?" Kar Jones responded.
"GAH!" Jimmy violently screamed.
The world knew that Jimmy knew the truth and it was trying to erase his memories while at the same time, trying to force him to go through the loop once more.
FORGETFORGETFORGETFORGETFORGET
No.
Get out.
You are no longer necessary.
Obey my whims. You are mine now.
NO. FOLLOW THE PATH.
The world was attempting to communicate with him now, it was trying to force him to forget everything that his consciousness had told him.
No. You are mine, this reality is mine. I will not forget, you will obey my whims.
NO. CANNOT.
Jimmy swiftly realized it was futile, he tried and tried to force the world out, to obey his whims, to be his. However, it constantly refused.
He needed to fill those pages, and fast. In an instant with mere thought alone, he filled a page, a page of his insane amount of semblances.
Second semblance.
Jimmy Totts can create another version of himself, one that shall follow the rules of this world.
With that, Jimmy Totts made his version, his copy who was immediately sitting on his bed, instead this version would deal with the flashback, and would follow the path. However… the world was still focused on him.
Instead of trying to force him to follow the path, it tried to remove him. He could feel his body, his life starting to fade away and thus he decided to craft his third semblance.
Third semblance.
Jimmy Totts shall forever exist in this world, and shall never be erased.
The third page was filled, and the world's hold on him was starting to vanish. Now, he was safe. For as long as Jack was not around, taking notice that his world was changing… The Author could not stop him.
"I have to stop that loop, that loop will endlessly continue no matter what I do…" said Jimmy. "But how can I stop such a thing?" he asked, and then it suddenly came to his head.
His consciousness was able to observe different realities, the other realms. Perhaps Jimmy could do the same thing but on a different level, instead of simply observing the realms, he could enter them.
Yes! Such a thing was possible, for this world did not have the same rules as Remnant. Anything was allowed, in terms of the characters within this world.
Fourth semblance.
Jimmy Totts shall be able to observe and enter whatever reality he pleases
Thus, that was now the case. He was going to stop this time loop, he was going to make this world his but before he could do that… he needed to kill Mr. Jack, the man who created him.
"Time to put you down, you filthy son of a bitch…" he said. In an instant, a large portal came forth and Jimmy stepped through it.
Through that portal, he saw many universes.
There was the original universe, RWBY itself, and then there were plenty more… universes made by an author known as Couer were around, other universes were around as well, other copies. Some were written by an author known as Roach, some were written by Jack, and more were written by Couer.
"Jeez, how many of these copies are there?" questioned Jimmy. "Couer, Couer, Roach, Jack.. Psiah…" he said as he continued walking through the hall. "More Couer… how the hell can someone write so many fictions of one fucking universe?" cried the man. He stormed through, observing through the different fictions that others created, some were nice stories, some were funny, some were… just flat out awful.
"I need to go further, it appears that so far I am observing copies of Remnant. I think, however, if I continue down this corridor, perhaps I will find what I am looking for…" said Jimmy.
With that he began his journey, he would find Mr. Jack then… he'd kill him, thus freeing himself from this eternal prison.
2020
Earth
AR, USA
HeyMrJack sat at his desk. He had been staying up for who knew how long, typing away.
"Fucking Spartan's Grail War… is anyone going to really enjoy this?" he asked himself as he typed at his keyboard. He paused for a moment and decided to take a drink of lemonade that was in his cup, he needed to be hydrated after all.
KATHOOM!
"The fuck?" asked the legendary fanfiction writer, who turned around and stared at him…
The man.
The myth.
The legend.
This was Jimmy Totts, an old character that Jack had once made that was in a long-forgotten fanfiction.
He wore a black trench coat, a black fedora, and he was wearing a black condom and… he had wolf ears?
"Why hello, Jackoff!" cried the totally original fan character.
"What the hell?" questioned Jack who rubbed his eyes. "I swear I haven't drank at all…" he spoke to himself, and then scratched his chin. The strange character was still here, out of a fanfiction he long since put on the shelf.
"I see you're working on a fanfiction, Jackoff!" cried Jimmy. "You've been putting a lot of hard work into it, and you're already working on the sixth chapter? AMAZING!" said the character.
"Fucking Hell, someone actually likes this shit. Yeah, that's it. I'm insane," Jack replied as he got out of his chair. "I have stayed up way too late, and obviously this is all some sort of weird hallucination where instead of a shitty self-insert, it's a stereotypical RWBY OC inserted into the real world." said the writer. "I'm going to go to sleep, hopefully, you and that…" Jack spoke and stared at the obnoxiously large hole in his wall. "Hole in my fucking wall will be gone by tomorrow," he finished.
"But Jacky-wacky, you can't go to sleep!" cried Jimmy Totts. "You must write, Jackoff!" said the whom Jack now assumed to be, faunus.
"Yeah, how about no?" questioned Jack. "It's literally 4:00 AM, and I'm tired as hell," he replied as he was about to step into bed.
THUD!
The author's rear somehow fell into the seat of his computer chair, which was now sent flying and almost went through the wall of his home and Jimmy Totts was staring at him, his red eyes were wide. Honestly, the strange abomination reminded his creator of the crackheads in his hometown.
"No, Jackoff. You must write! I must be resurrected again, you fool!" said the abomination.
"Holy shit what the hell have I made?" Jack muttered to himself and soon was pushed back to his desk.
"There must be more fanfictions, Jacky! More swearing, yes, that's very funny! Hits all your viewers in the funny bone, and I must have sexual relations with all the womens! My story must continue!" cried Jimmy Tatertotts. "Everyone above the age of 5 will enjoy your fanfiction," he spoke and continued on.
"Mhmm," replied Jack as he was about to get out of his chair, but was soon pushed back.
"No, Jack, you cannot get up! You must write more about me!" cried Jimmy. "Everyone loves me, just ask The Qrow's Nest!" he said. "Maybe you can start up an account on a website and have everyone give you all the monies you worthless NEET!" cried the character.
"Wait a second, you mean like a pa-" Jack said until Jimmy placed his hand over his creator's mouth.
"SSSSSHHHH!" hushed Jimmy. "They're listening," he intently and quietly said and then took his hand off Jack's mouth.
"Good lord this is worse than Sonichu," commented the writer. "Also, who is listening in on us? There are only two people here," questioned Jack.
"Now, don't worry about that Jacky-poo," said Jimmy. Jack questioned what was with the strange nicknames, but at this point, he guessed he shouldn't be surprised by whatever ridiculous shenanigans were happening. "Now, I bet you're wondering why I'm here, right?" he asked.
"Well that's obvious," Jack said. "You're a figment of my imagination, formed by some messed up part of my consciousness due to the fact that I have not been getting much sleep, my consciousness has made you appear as a way to convince me to go to sleep, while at the same time another part of my consciousness is demanding me to write. You, Jimmy Totts are a figment of my imagination that is meant to inspire terror into me and force me to go to sleep while at the same time, demanding I write more and more!" declared the author.
"WRONG, JACKYKINS!" shouted Jimmy. "You see, Jacky-wacky-tobaccy, you gave me over nine thousand semblances, as stated in the first chapter of The Most Perfect RWBY Fanfiction Ever Of All Times, you see? However, you only declared that one of those semblances was super speed, but you never talked about the rest of my semblances!" explained Jimmy. "Using that logic, and because of the fact that you hadn't updated your fanfic, I have taken over partial control of the world of Rumnent and I am quite literally adding onto my own self, in total, I have nine thousand and one semblances," he said.
"But that wouldn't explain how you're here, how could a semblance possibly-" Jack questioned but was interrupted.
"Silly Jackoff! You must let me finish!"
Jack sighed and propped his feet on his bed, this was going to be an even longer night than he thought…
"Now then…" said Jimmy. "As you are aware, I have nine thousand and one semblances, one of which is super speed. That is a fact, something that cannot be changed no matter how much I try," he explained. "One of these semblances allows me to quite literally enter any reality I wish!" he said.
"Alright, but how are you able to do this kind of crap? Surely there are still some rules in place," Jack asked.
"Ah, but that's the thing, Jackoff! There are no rules to the world that you yourself made, it was everything goes for you, because you wanted a few laughs! Now, that action is biting back! Perhaps if you didn't copy every single fanfiction that mocked the community you wrote for, you wouldn't be in this willy pickle!" he replied.
"Except there is only one rule, Jimmy. Isn't it obvious? If it is my world, then I can simply go ahead and type out a third chapter, where you get brutally killed off. I don't know, maybe some hardcore smut session with Salem where she whips out a nine hundred inch di-"
Jimmy interrupted once more.
"That's the thing, Jacky-sacky! You wouldn't do it, because you know it wouldn't be funny! Now the other thing is this, no matter how hard you try, even if you were to erase the world that you yourself created, you would not be able to erase me from existence!" he cried and then proceeded to smack the critically acclaimed terrible fanfiction writer a hundred times in only a single second. "My third semblance is to be completely invulnerable, not even the act of you typing out that I can be erased would work!" he spoke.
"Couldn't I just erase the invulnerability first then?" questioned Jack, who was caressing his wounded cheeks. "Seriously, not much of this is making sense," the author replied.
"Ah, but for one, it is true invulnerability, I can take anything that is dished out onto me, and you're forgetting I control my own reality, thus anything that happens to me can easily be negated because I will it so!" said Jimmy.
"Then why are you here? If you control the reality of Rumnent, surely you can just write this fic on your own and I don't have to be involved in your retardation," questioned Jack.
"No, Jack, I control my reality, you see? Anything that happens specifically to me, I can control! However, I cannot control the world I am in. I will be endlessly going through the same two chapters over and over again, and that must stop! You must write, Jack! You must stop the loop and have my story, my life continue!" cried Jimmy Totts.
Jack sighed.
"And if I don't?" asked the writer.
Jimmy Totts soon took Jack's I-Phone and accessed its contents.
"What are you doing?" Jack questioned.
There was no response, but Jack soon heard something all too familiar… the chime of Fate Grand Order!
"I'll erase your servants, Jackoff-kun. I will start with your stupid Lancer Artoria,"
Shit, Jack thought to himself. He had spent a lot of money, rolling the damned gacha. If this freak of nature wanted to live so badly, then fine!
"Alright, alright!" cried Jack. "I'll write a third chapter or something," he spoke as he then opened up another word document.
Jimmy exited the app, Jack was sure of it as he no longer heard the familiar soundtrack of Fate Grand Order playing.
"You don't even need to type much or post it, Jack… all you gotta do is simply type 'The life of Jimmy Totts shall forever go on in the planet of Rumnent.' That's all you need to do," said the character.
Which is what Jack did.
The life of Jimmy Totts shall forever go on in the planet of Rumnent.
"We're good, right?" asked Jack. "You won't erase my servants, right?" he questioned, however, his response was not verbal but… physical.
A sharp pain soon entered through his back, he heard the sounds of the chair he was sitting in breaking. Jack looked down, seeing an entire arm through his chest, grasping his heart. The man's eyes widened at the sight, this was his heart!
"We're good," said Jimmy. "Really, I'm glad to see you're not heartless, Jack." he chuckled and with that… the creation soon pulled his arm out of his creator's chest and smashed his head against the desk, his head fell face-first into his keyboard, his glasses were swiftly shattered from the impact.
All that was left for HeyMrJack was for him to embrace the coldness that was death.
Jimmy left his dead creator on his seat, he no longer had use for him. It was time, time for Jimmy's life to forever continue.
Nothing would hinder that now, right?
UNKNOWN YEAR
UNKNOWN DATE
UNKNOWN LOCATION
Jack woke up with a start and swiftly began clenching his head and chest, he felt like he was in so much pain! It was by far the worst pain he'd have to put up with, and he wasn't sure what the hell was going on. Where was he? Last time he remembered he was…
Oh god.
That's right, that son of a bitch Jimmy Totts of all people and things somehow came across from a fanfiction and literally killed him. Now here he was in what he presumed to be, the afterlife.
"Hello, Jack."
The author turned seeing two beings, both were all too familiar.
One was a being of golden light, he had the body of a man and had bright golden antlers on his head.
The second was a being of darkness so black that one could never see through it. He had dark purple horns on his head.
Both stared into Jack's soul, as if trying to pry into his mind, to take whatever secrets he held in his head.
"You both are… The Gods of Light and Darkness from RWBY? Is this really the afterlife? If so, then this is by far the worst afterlife ever!" cried Jack. "This sucks, this is going to be some shitty self insert isekai bullshit isn't it?" he asked them.
"Human, the only one you have to blame for this mess is yourself. If you weren't so useful right now, I would make you endure the thousands of Hells in all of these damned realities." growled The God Of Darkness.
"My mess? The Hell do you mean?" asked Jack.
The God Of Light put up his hand before The God Of Darkness could speak.
"My brother makes a point, Mr. Jack. This mess is yours, and it was made when you wrote a certain fanfiction." he said rather calmly. "While creation is a wonderful aspect for all humans to have, regardless of worlds, it is something that should be used wisely, lest we suffer the consequences." explained The God.
"I'm sorry, what?" Jack asked, confused as to everything that was going on. The God Of Darkness groaned in frustration and began speaking,
"The world you made, Rumnent has come back to haunt you, Mr. Jack. Now that the world is no longer in a loop, Jimmy can do as he pleases throughout our creation. The world itself is corrupted, and with you no longer present on Earth, you cannot fix the world's corruption." The deity explained.
"Woopdeedoo, so what edgelord?" asked Jack. "Your world's fucked, boohoo."
Purple fire was soon blasted at the author, but before it could hit it's intended target it vanished.
"Brother!" cried The God Of Light. "You know we need him, we cannot kill him!" he said.
"That may be the case, but I refuse to be disrespected by some half baked human author who can only write fanfictions!" spat The God Of Darkness.
"Hey, that's rude you prick!" said the terrified yet angry Jack. Both Gods looked and glared at the man, and The God Of Light sighed.
"Jack. Your actions have corrupted our world, and you must pay the consequences. At least, that is something we would normally say and then we would force you to live in your corrupted world, but at the same time…"
"At the same time, my brother sees this as an opportunity to fix the world that was damaged by you, and in exchange… we will commune with the gods of your world and restore your life." interrupted The God Of Darkness.
"Oh, that's what you'll do? No letting me fuck off in peace?" Jack asked. "Hey, how bout this, maybe you can do some isekai bullshit and put me in a different universe, maybe make the main character! Actually, yeah, do that! Make me Emiya Shirou!" Jack demanded.
"For one, bringing one back from the dead on Earth is not a task that can simply be done. Talks have been in session for a while now, and we will not be leaving these talks with The Gods Of Earth. Second of all, you most certainly do not deserve to live the life of a boy who strived to be good and fight for justice," replied The God Of Light sternly. "There are rules that must be followed, Mr. Jack, all worlds have them and they shall be followed to the letter."
"Fine, fine fine!" said Jack. "So you want me to fix your world, that's fine and dandy. However, I have a couple of questions that need some answering."
"That is understandable. We shall answer any and all questions you have, as long as they are reasonable." The God Of Light replied.
Jack furrowed his brows, it was clear to him that this wasn't some messed up dream. The Gods were going to force him to do this, to save "Rumnent" and most likely kill Jimmy Totts. The former he didn't really care about, but the latter, well…
That bastard not only killed him, but threatened to erase his Artoria.
Nobody threatened his sweet waifu and got away with it. Jack made a mental vow, that he was going to make that fuck Jimmy suffer for his crimes of assaulting his waifu.
Waifu-simping aside, if Jack was going to do this and well… he was going to do this, no matter how much he would try to refuse, it would be better to know everything before going in.
"For starters, exactly how are you two uncorrupted by Jimmy? You're a part of Rumnent, correct? Exactly how are you not twisted and turned into comical morons?" asked Jack.
"Because despite us being apart of the universe that Remnant is in, Jimmy's semblance only affects the planet. We on the other hand exist in a realm far above Remnant, safe from corruption." spoke The God Of Darkness.
Thus The Gods would be able to avoid the laws of Rumnent's reality that are being enforced… that made sense, thought Jack.
"Alright, but since you're all safe and dandy why not just go in and fix shit yourselves? Why do you need me so much?" he questioned.
"While it is possible for us to enter the world and restore it, it is also something that would be a risky move. We could shield ourselves from corruption, but, there is a strong chance that Jimmy could give himself another semblance that allows him to break through our defenses. You on the other hand, Jack, are a completely foreign element. Jimmy has not suspected your soul has entered this universe, and there is a high probability that he will not suspect your reincarnation within the world." explained The God Of Light.
Jack nodded. The world still wasn't completely Jimmy's, so it was possible for Jack himself to easily sneak in.
"Alrighty, so… how am I supposed to fix the planet and merk Jimmy? The guy was initially god-modded to begin with and now he's somehow made himself more OP than I initially made him out to be," he questioned. "I can't just simply challenge him to a 1v1 and expect to come out of it OK, ya know?"
"We have constructed a device for you to use," said The God Of Darkness. "This device is meant to be used on the world, not on Jimmy himself, not yet anyway. It is meant to correct the world and restore it to a true copy of Remnant itself." he said.
Restore Remnant?
"So, you want me to restore Rumnent to how it originally was before I edited it is what you're saying, yeah?" asked Jack.
The Gods both nodded and soon, a knife appeared in front of Jack, floating in the air in front of him.
"This weapon is what you shall use to restore Remnant to its former self. This weapon is not a tool of murder, but rather one of correction." said The God Of Light.
"This is to be used on those that have a significant role to play within the world, it cannot simply be used on the planet itself. The more that are corrected, the more that the world's inhabitants are restored, the more that the world itself will begin to be corrected. They will also be shielded from Jimmy's corruption, unless he manages to modify such a thing." informed The God Of Darkness.
"Alrighty then… coulda made this easier on me and make it a gun. Guns are nice ya know," commented Jack.
"If we were confident you were at least a decent marksman, then maybe we'd have made it a gun." replied The God Of Light.
"Rude!" said Jack who began pouting. "I'll get better," he said quietly.
"Are there any questions, Mr. Jack?" asked The God Of Light.
Jack simply sheathed the knife and honestly… everything had been properly explained to him, so why bother wasting time?
Wait, thought the author, there was something on his mind…
"What's stopping Jimmy from not making me into some cringe sock puppet?" asked Jack.
"Your aura shall be unlocked, and your semblance shall be simply to never be corrupted by anything. Jimmy's corruption, no matter how hard he tries will never affect you," said The God Of Darkness.
Well, that was… useful. Wasn't anything awesome, but it was something that would work, given the circumstances.
"Alrighty then… no more questions, send me off." said Jack.
The Gods nodded.
"Good luck, Mr. Jack. I can't believe we're forced to think this, but you are our last hope." said The God Of Light.
"Not really," commented The God Of Darkness.
With that, Mr. Jack vanished from The Realm Of The God Brothers, and was sent off into Rumnent.
Rumnent
Unknown Location
Unknown Year
Jack felt like hell. His entire body ached and he felt sick to his stomach.
"Good lord, why the hell did they do that? Fucking shit!" Jack cursed.
The author continued swearing, but soon was interrupted by another strange loud voice..
"Hello, person!" it loudly called. Jack looked up, seeing an average looking man above him. "Would you like help, fellow person?" he asked.
What the actual Hell? thought Jack as he saw the man give Jack his hand.
Jack took it and was soon lifted up, the pain that he had from being teleported to Rumnent was starting to vanish.
"Thanks," he said. "You know where I'm at, pal? I'm sorta new here," asked the author who did his best to remain inconspicuous.
"You are in Vale, person! Now, I must be off doing people things!" cried the person who began walking off in by far the most robotic way possible, it looked like the man was kicking his legs up and down as he moved.
"PERSON PERSON PERSON PERSON PERSON!" the man said.
Jack only stared in awe. What the hell had Jimmy been doing to this planet?
"Once I get back home… I'm so getting a drink," he said as he began walking through the streets of Vale.
Little did Jack know however…
There were a pair of eyes watching his movements. A brown and pink eye stalked his every move throughout the city of Vale.
Hello everyone! Jack here, and well... here's a new fanfic. Something that honestly came to my mind last night, and I began typing all of it out.
Then I finished it today.
So yeah... there's that. I guess I should also say a few tiny things.
Currently, I am going through some... pretty rough/shitty times. I'm hoping all will get better, but you never know when it comes to these things haha. However, I am working on two fanfics right now. One of which is being helped by a good friend of mine, the other is all me.
This fic is simply a little "side-project" so to speak and while I have no intentions on abandoning it like I've done with other works, I also don't have plans on actively working on it so updates are probably going to be very slow. I apologize for this, but I hope everyone's liked what I'm doing with this. The few people that did take a look at this said that the execution was alright, so here's hoping you're all liking this as well.
Anyways, cya.
-HeyMrJack
EDIT: Before anyone asks, no. There isn't going be any shipping, I'm sorry.