No More Moping

Bucky was tired; he hadn't slept well the past several nights. He was a ball of anxious energy, filled with worry.

What if she gets lost?

What if her car breaks down?

What if someone tries to hurt her?

With the ease of someone well-practiced in suppressing emotions, he stuffed the feelings aside and let excitement take the front seat. A genuine smile graced his face as he clicked on the Zoom link his daughter, Anne, had just sent him.

"Annie! How are you, hun?" Bucky boomed as soon as her face filled the screen.

Good, her hair is still green. No stress dye jobs have happened yet.

Anne's emotional state had been tied to her hair for the past several years. She went through 4 different colors leading up to high school graduation.

Her curls were thankful that Bucky would pay for anything she wanted, so "box dye" was never in her vocabulary.

"Hey, dad, I'm good." Her chocolate eyes were already shining with tears as soon as Bucky's face appeared on her computer screen.

Bucky's smile dropped when he heard the crack in her voice and realized she was about to start crying.

"What's wrong, honey?" Bucky tensed, his mind already playing through all of the worst-case scenarios that kept him up at night.

"I—I miss you," Anne choked out. Her head hurt from trying to hold back the tears. She had already cried all night, and yet her body seemed to have an endless supply of tears. "I want to come home."

"Oh, Annie. I know, I know. We miss you too, but you just got there. School hasn't even started yet. You have to give it time."

Bucky's heart twisted watching his only daughter, many miles from home, sit and cry in her dorm room alone. His arms ached to hold her close and take all the pain away.

"Come on, it can't be that bad? You have to be glad to have some space to yourself, without me and dad in your business. Without Noah begging you to play with him every five minutes. Right?"

Anne shook her head. "I never got annoyed with you guys."

Bucky sighed. "Well, how's your roommate? Are you getting along?"

Anne rolled her eyes and wiped her tears away. "She's loud. She's popular and already has a ton of friends."

"So, you don't like her?"

As if on cue, Anne's roommate, Heather, barged into the dorm room, followed by a gaggle of girls.

"Heather! I texted you, I need the room." Anne's eyes flashed with annoyance.

"Oops, I forgot," Heather said innocently while still standing in the doorway.

"Holy shit, Anne, that's your dad?!" One of Heather's friends exclaimed.

"He could be my daddy any day," another one chimed in.

"Oh my god, get out!"

"Sorry, sorry, we'll leave," Heather giggled as she pushed the other girls out of the room. "Bye, Mr. Barnes!" She called over her shoulder before she shut the door.

Anne groaned and turned back to her computer. "Is that enough of an answer for you?"

Bucky chuckled, "I'm sorry, Annie. You're a tough girl, and you'll make it through. And hey, you'll make friends too; what's not to like about you, huh?"

"You have to say that," Anne said with a roll of her eyes.

"Maybe if you acted like your more fun parent, you would already have more friends," Sam butted in, pushing Bucky to the edge of the frame. "Hey, Annie, what's with all the crying?"

"Hey, dad, I'm just really missing you guys. I want to come home. Please?"

Sam looked at Bucky, who had the same pleading look on his face that his daughter did.

Why do I always have to be the grown-up around here?

Sam pushed Bucky fully out of the frame.

"Anne, you can't come home. Remember why you're there. It's time for you to be on your own, to become your own person. You're going to make friends, probably meet a guy or girl, you're going to do so well in your classes. In a month, you're going to be begging us to leave you alone. You get what you put in, no more mopey attitude, okay?"

"Ugh, fine. Put dad back on."

"I love you, sour puss."

"I love you too," Anne groaned but gave Sam a smile and wave before he left.

Bucky slid back into view, this time with Noah sitting on his lap. While only 5 years old, Noah ran the house, constantly demanding everyone's attention.

Anne's eyes lit up at the sight of her little brother.

"Annie! When are you coming home?"

"Not for a while bud, I miss you."

Bucky could see the excitement turning into sadness again as Anne looked at the disappointment on Noah's face.

"Hey, bud, why don't you go help daddy make dinner? Maybe he'll make you a special treat."

"Okay!" Noah jumped off Bucky's lap and ran to the kitchen; a goodbye yelled over his shoulder.

Bucky knew he would ask about Anne again later, but all was forgotten for now; ice cream took up all the thoughts in his little mind.

Bucky turned back to Anne with a sad smile. He was on the verge of going and picking her up if only Sam would allow it.

"Why does he have to be so positive all the time? I just want to be sad. Is that too much to ask?"

Bucky chuckled at that. "How are we so similar when you're adopted?"

Anne genuinely laughed and lifted Bucky's spirits just slightly.

"You know he's right, though. Just take everything one day at a time. It's okay to feel sad."

Anne nodded her head, silent tears starting to fall again. "I just didn't think it would be this hard."

"I know, honey."

"I better go before Heather comes back. Thanks for the talk. Can I call again tomorrow?"

"Any time you want, Annie, I'm here."

"I love you."

"Love you too, honey. Miss you. Be safe."

As soon as the screen went dark, Bucky let his own tears fall. He cried harder than he had expected. It physically pained him to see his little girl so hurt and not being able to do anything about it. Not to mention the anxiety he had every day that something might happen to her, and he wouldn't be there to protect her.

He felt Sam's arm wrap around his shoulders.

"I thought you said you were done crying after move-in day?"

"This sucks Sam, I don't like it."

"Come here," Sam whispered.

Bucky stood up and let Sam hold him until the tears slowed.

"She's going to be fine."

Bucky nodded and wiped the tears off his face. There was a tug on his leg, and he put a smile on his face as he bent over to scoop Noah up into his arms.

"Why are you crying?" Noah wiped the wetness off Bucky's cheeks.

"Everything's okay. Dad just misses Annie," Sam answered.

"Me too," Noah pouted.

"Okay, enough moping. I made dinner," Sam pointed at Bucky, "we're watching a movie," he pointed at Noah, "and you are going to bed."

"I wanna watch a movie!"

"It's too late; you have school tomorrow, remember?"

Noah nodded his head, his frown still pronounced.

"I'll read you a story first, okay?" Bucky offered.

"Two?"

Bucky chuckled, "okay, two."

After two stories and once Alpine was snuggled next to him, Noah fell fast asleep. Bucky had been sitting next to his bed for the past 10 minutes, just watching the silent rise and fall of his chest; Alpine's soft purring the only sound in the room. Since Sam and Bucky had brought Noah home, Noah had demanded her attention too, and Alpine looked after him like he was her own.

Sam came into the room to see what was taking Bucky so long.

"What are you doing? Dinner is getting cold," he whispered.

Bucky held his hand out, and Sam took it, letting Bucky pull him close.

"Do you remember when we got him this?" Bucky asked as he ran his hand gently over the fabric sleeve on Noah's left arm. It was made to look like Bucky's vibranium one, and Noah refused to take it off.

"He was so excited," Sam said with a grin.

"I still remember the panic I felt when he asked why he didn't look like me."

Sam laughed, "like you thought you were going to have to not only explain that he was adopted but also over 100 years of Black history."

"Well, how was I supposed to know he was talking about the arm?" Bucky jabbed Sam's ribs lightly. "Sorry I was keeping you waiting. I just feel like I'm going to wake up tomorrow, and he's going to be in high school."

"I know, babe. Me too." Sam bent over to kiss Noah's forehead; he twirled one of his little curls in his finger. "Goodnight, Noah bear," he whispered.

Bucky finally followed Sam out of the room and tried to enjoy the rest of the evening.

He didn't feel relaxed until they were cuddled on the couch watching the movie Sam had picked.

"I don't understand how you can watch these; after everything we've been through."

"Don't be so dramatic; it's just an action movie." Sam pulled Bucky down into his lap so he could scratch his scalp.

"You know drama is my main setting."

"Trust me, I know. And that's why I didn't let you pick the movie."

Bucky sat up, suddenly serious. "I know I give you shit about being so peppy all of the time, but you know I love you so much. You and your stupid positive energy saved me, and I don't know where I'd be without you."

"Buck—"

"I'm serious. I never in a million years thought any of this was possible for me. I never thought I'd be this happy. Not until you."

"Come here, you grumpy old man." Sam kissed him, sweetly, before planting kisses on his cheeks and eyes and nose. "I love you too. Now let me pet your hair and watch my movie."

Bucky laughed and laid back down. "Anything you want."

He knew tomorrow his emotions would roller coaster again, but with Sam by his side, at least he knew everything would turn out alright.