Chapter 21
(Madge POV)
"Would you like to go sit out by the rocks again? If you're too exhausted we don't have to of course." Drew asks as we stand at my bedroom door after a long Capitol filled evening.
I really just want to go soak in the tub and then crash into bed. Being around all those people and pretending takes so much energy out of me but he looks so hopeful when he asks me that there's no way I'm going to tell him no. "I'd love to."
Heels in my hand, we walk back through the sand over to the outcropping of rocks again. "The beach is very peaceful, especially at night. I bet you come out here all the time." I comment as we settle onto the rocks and listen to the waves crashing.
"Actually, no. I do love it out here but I don't usually have much time for things like this."
"What things? For sitting outside?"
He laughs lightly. "Come on, you know what I mean. All of my time is spent working on becoming the best Panem citizen I can. Between the special courses, the parties, the conferences and all the other random things, I don't get much free time."
"I think you probably have more on your plate than I do. I do get busy from time to time but I've still got plenty of free time. I think perhaps the girls of Panem have it slightly easier than the boys do." I admit, feeling bad that he has so much expectation placed on him.
"That's probably true. You girls have plenty of pressures too though."
"We have to look pretty, support the Capitol, and raise the next generation of future Panem leaders." I nod as I go down the list of expectations placed on me.
"Well at least you already have that pretty part taken care of." Drew flirts with a little smile.
I smile back at the compliment. "Is that what attracted you to me forever ago?" I ask, thinking about how he said he'd liked me ever since we were kids.
"No, not at all."
I'm a little surprised to hear that. It isn't like we had very much interaction so I'm not sure what else it could have been. "Really?"
He smiles. "Of course the fact that you're very pretty didn't hurt but that wasn't what stuck with me and made me think about you all the time. What got me was your character."
"We were like 5 or 6 years old when we met. How in the world did you see any sort of character in me?"
"You want the whole story?"
"The whole thing, start to finish." I tell him as I lean my shoulder against his.
"It was on your very first visit here. Your father was here for a meeting and you came with him. I'd never really seen another Mayor bring his kid on a business trip or anything. My mother explained you were with him because your mother was ill and you couldn't stay home with her. She told my brother and I to be nice and play with you out in the courtyard while our father's had their meeting." He begins.
"You boys were not nice and you didn't let me play with you." I interrupt, an eyebrow raised, remembering exactly the day he is talking about.
"I know. But let me finish." He says, silencing my interruptions. "We were not exactly good at being welcoming, I know. And sharing our toys wasn't something we did well. So we played some game and you sat off to the side just watching us. There was a stray cat that wandered into the courtyard. August stopped playing the game and started tormenting the poor thing, tossing rocks at it and such. As I tended to do back then, I followed along and joined in. You watched, a horrified look on your face. And then our housekeeper called us to the kitchen for a snack so August and I headed that way but you didn't. You stayed behind. When I realized you weren't coming, I stopped and watched from the kitchen window. I watched as you went over to that stray cat, picked it up and calmed the poor thing down. You sat there, holding it, petting it, whispering something I couldn't hear. Then you took the blue satin ribbon out of your hair and tied it around the cat's neck. I'd never seen someone show that sort of kindness to something that everyone else saw as unworthy. That was how you got my attention. You showed character of kindness."
"I remember that. I couldn't believe how cruel you boys were being to that stray cat." I tell him. "I didn't know you were watching me though."
"And after that, I watched you a lot more. I wanted to see more of this girl who seemed to have a quality no one else around me possessed."
"How did you watch me? I only came here a couple times and then when I was older I was allowed to stay home instead of traveling with my father."
"I have my ways." He says with a smile and then leans in to kiss me. "Can I ask you something now that you know all about my interest in you?" He asks when the kiss ends.
My stomach flip flops a little, unsure what he could ask. I nod.
"When you found out you were matched with me, what did you think?"
I look down at the sand and try to quickly think of a positive way to answer that question. I take too long though and he interjects.
"Had you wanted someone else?" He prods.
"Oh, no, that wasn't it. The whole matching thing just had me all nervous and with everything that had just happened and our unique situation, I was extra nervous."
"I know you were nervous, but were you nervous about me is what I'm asking."
"I wasn't sure we would be a good match." I finally admit. "But that was based on brief childhood memories, I didn't really know much about you." I add feeling bad for telling him I'd been unsure about him.
"You thought I was more like August." He says understanding.
"I'm sorry." I tell him and I really mean it.
"It's alright, no need to apologize. Can I ask what you think now that you know me a little better?"
"I think I'm pretty lucky to have been matched with someone who thinks similarly to me. And I think you're much kinder than I remembered." I smile up at him, still leaning on his shoulder.
"I think I'm the lucky one. For years, anytime I thought about the matching ceremony, I knew I had to be matched with you, no one else would do." He shakes his head.
I snuggle closer into his side and he wraps his arms around me, leaning down and kissing my temple. I like that he saw something in me way back when I didn't even know he was watching. I like that my kindness attracted him to me. And I really do feel lucky that he was my match, even if he was my second match.
"Drew? I'm really glad we had time alone this visit." I tell him.
"Me too. I hate to see you leave tomorrow."
"I'll see you again soon I hope." I reply.
"I've got to head to the Capitol for a few days. I'll arrange a visit after that. And I'll call you when I can, just to say hi and let you know I'm thinking about you."
The Capitol. He means he's going to see Ellison. I bet he's going up there for the start of the games. Jealousy sparks in me and I don't like it. "Don't call me. You don't need to call me when you're at the Capitol. Just call me when you're back home." I tell him. I do not want to talk to him when he is with Ellison.
"Madge..." He starts but I shake my head as I hop down off the rocks.
"No, really. You don't need to call me. I know you'll be thinking of me." I tell him.
He slides off the rocks too and takes my hand, leaning down to kiss me. "You know I'd rather be spending time with you." He says softly.
"I know." I tell him. We walk back without talking and he kisses me once more at my bedroom door.
Alone in my room, I run a hot bath, climb into the oversized tub and let my emotions and thoughts flow. Drew is really great. I really can't be jealous about Ellison when I've been flirting and thinking about Gale when I'm at home. I'm really going to have to stop whatever it is I feel for Gale. Gale is something I shouldn't even be considering. It's not like I'd be allowed to have a future with him. I know this. I really do. But if I know this, then why all the inner turmoil? Why do I feel so attracted to Gale when I like Drew?
The next morning, I have breakfast in my room because Drew has some sort of meeting he has to be at with his father. An avox brings up a plate of fresh fruits, yogurt and granola. As much as it pains me, I don't thank her for bringing me the food. I don't want Drew to find out about it and get worried about me again. After I eat, I decide to wander down to the beach while I wait for Drew. I slip on my swimsuit and coverup again, this time applying sunscreen as well. I don't get in the water but I sit at the edge, letting the waves roll over my toes in the sand. Down the shore I see a mother and small child playing in the sand. I watch as they play and can't help but smile. You don't see much playtime between parents and children back home in 12. The parents usually don't have time, always busy working. And most of the children have work to do too. The closer to the Capitol you get though, the more money there is and things like this become a little more common to see. I imagine if I ever live here, I'll take my children to the beach to play. I want my children to have really fun and happy childhoods. I'm lost in thought when I hear a voice behind me.
"Madge, there you are! I've been looking everywhere for you." Drew calls out from the boardwalk. He's not dressed for the beach at all. Suit and tie instead of a swimsuit.
I wave and smile as he approaches. "Good morning. How was your meeting?"
"Not finished. We're just on a break. I won't be able to say goodbye at the train station so I wanted to find you while we were breaking. It took me so long to find you though that I actually have to be back in there in 5 minutes. "
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize your meeting would be so long. I should've left word for you about where I was going so you'd be able to find me." I apologize as I stand up and dust the sand from my coverup dress.
"I didn't think it would run so long either but that's how these things are sometimes. You should probably head back to the house and get cleaned up for your trip home."
He seems a little stressed about something but I suppose it's because he used up all his break time looking for me. I really should've left a note. We walk back to the house where he gives me a very quick, almost chaste kiss at the bottom of the stairs, tells me to have a good trip and then dashes off to his meeting. I'm a little surprised at his lackluster goodbye but then I see August coming down the hallway and figure that is why he acted like he did. He wants August to think he doesn't care about me. Still, I'm a little disappointed and find myself glad I'd gone to the rocks with him last night since we didn't get any time together today.
In my room, I pack up my things and get myself cleaned up for the trip home. Thankfully the after sun cream did it's magic on my pink skin and I look very tan now. And it's actually kind of pretty seeing my skin with a little color to it, especially against the fabric of my turquoise dress. I take my luggage and head to the train station. I don't see a single Whitney family member on my way out of the house, just several Avox working around the house who I can't speak to. It makes this huge house feel a touch lonely. But my house is barely any different. We may not have Avox working for us but we don't exactly give off a familial vibe at our house. I've always hoped that when I marry and have children that I would be able to create an environment that actually felt like a home and not just a big house. I make a mental note to ask Drew about what sort of family he pictures in his future. We haven't really talked about those sort of things but we really should, especially if he intends to choose me.