Chapter 30
(Madge POV)
Turns out that Ellison was craftier than I thought. Shortly after I flashed her that smile as Drew and I danced past her, she decided to take me out of the equation for the evening altogether. She came up to Drew and I, saying it was her turn to dance with him. I step aside and let them dance not thinking a whole lot about it when suddenly she claims to have stumbled and twisted her ankle. She made such a fuss about it hurting and insisted that Drew take her home. And I know she was faking it because she gave me smirk over her shoulder as Drew helped carry her out of the ballroom. That left me to either stay at the party alone or go back to my hotel room alone using a car service. I opted for the latter.
The next morning, I look through the clothes that Pisa left for me. All of them are downright awful. What I wouldn't give for a simple sundress and a pair of sandals. I settle on a knee length, sleeveless white dress with bright pink buttons down both sides and stiff lime green fabric peeking out the neckline and the hem. I slip on the pink high heels that are even higher than the ones I have at home. I twist my hair into a bun on top of my head and take a final look in the mirror before I go to the lobby to meet Drew. My neon pink eyes are still very vivid and creepy looking. I cannot wait for them to fade out and return to blue again. I sigh and head to the lobby knowing there is nothing I can do about how I look that will make me happy right now.
In the lobby, I see Pemberly waiting with her and August's luggage. I don't see him anywhere though so I'm not sure where he's run off to. I smile at her and give a wave. I'm about to go up and talk to her, not wanting to be rude, when Drew walks in. He looks really tired.
"Hi, are you all ready to go?" He asks, giving my cheek a kiss.
"Yes. Are you alright? You look a little tired."
"I'm tired but it's no big deal. Let's get going, our train awaits."
He takes my luggage and starts for the door but then notices Pemberly. "Wait a minute?" He asks me. I nod and watch as he goes over to her. They speak briefly and then I see him take her luggage and head towards me again.
"Pemberly is going to head over to the station with us." He tells me. She looks uncomfortable and I'm not really sure why and not sure where August is so I give her another smile and then we start walking. She walks with us but is quiet. And because she's quiet, I am too. Thankfully, the station is very close so there isn't too much awkward silence.
"Thank you." Pemberly tells us both, her voice very soft and quiet. And then she turns and heads off towards the dining car.
"Is she okay?" I ask Drew, wanting to know what's happening.
He sighs. "Yes. She was waiting for August but he isn't coming. He's decided to stay another day in the Capitol."
"And he didn't tell her? He just left her waiting in the lobby like that?" I ask in disgust.
"Stay out of it. It isn't our business what happens in their relationship."
A little stunned by that blunt warning, I don't respond. I just watch as he picks up my luggage and hands it to the Avox that's waiting by the boarding door.
"Is it alright with you if I head to my room to rest for a little while before our date?" He asks me.
"Of course, go ahead. Just come find me when you're ready, I'll probably just be in my room." I tell him. He gives me a tired smile and kiss on the temple and then heads towards his room.
In my room, I can't help but think about why he's so tired. He left the party fairly early in the evening. And he seems a touch moody but perhaps that's just because he's tired. What was he doing all night? I also can't help feeling bad for Pemberly. How could August do that to her? I mean, they shared a room so if he'd planned on staying in the Capitol longer he could have told her so this morning. Or did he not come back to the hotel with her last night? Surely he didn't leave her alone all night without telling her when he'd be back. Or at least I hope he didn't. That poor girl. She has to marry such a jerk and there is absolutely nothing she can do about it. I may not know her at all but I do know she deserves better. Again, I feel lucky to have gotten matched with Drew.
I sit and read while I wait for Drew to come get me for our date but when I don't hear from him, I decide he must be really tired and still sleeping. I get a little hungry and decide that I should order a snack to tide me over until Drew is ready to eat dinner. To my pleasant surprise, the Avox who brings the snack is the same one I spoke to on the way to the Capitol.
"Hi, thank you for bringing this." I say, smiling, genuinely happy to see him.
He slightly glances up at me and surprise registers on his face just briefly before he glances downward again. I know it's my eyes that made him look like that.
"I know, the neon eyes are so weird. Thankfully, it's only temporary." I explain.
I see the faintest smile cross his mouth and I know I was right that my eyes startled him. He leaves and I sit down to eat the fruit he brought me. When I'm finished eating, I go back to reading for awhile. Eventually I glance at the clock and decide Drew may not be coming to get me tonight. It's much later than I expected to see him. I could call his room but if he's this tired, I don't want to wake him. I decide to go ahead and put my pajamas on and get into bed. I'm sure that he has a good reason and he'll make it up to me later. I honestly don't care about missing the movie but I am a little bummed we got zero alone time on this trip. I may as well have stayed home.
I've just turned out the lights and crawled into bed when I hear a knock at my door. I switch the lamp back on, pull on my robe and go to the door. It's Drew, in very bed rumpled clothing.
"I am so so sorry." He immediately apologizes.
I shake my head and give him a smile. "It's okay, I could tell you needed the rest."
"Did you at least go eat dinner?" He asks.
"No, but I had some fruit earlier."
He rubs his hands over his face. "I am so sorry. I completely ruined our movie night."
I reach out and take his hand. "You didn't ruin anything. Come in, we can still order dinner if you're hungry." I tell him, pulling him into my room and shutting the door.
"I really wanted this to be a great date for us. Now it's too late for a movie and you were already in bed. I can't believe I slept so long."
I stand up on my toes and kiss him, hoping he'll just relax. He does.
"Okay, now let's order something to eat and just hang out. We don't need a movie." I tell him.
We order food and while we wait for it to come, I sit down across the small table from him. "I really am sorry." He says once more.
I give him an exasperated look. "Would you stop apologizing? I'm not mad at all."
"I just feel bad. This entire trip was a disaster and I didn't get to spend any time with you at all hardly. I feel like every time we get to see one another, I mess something up."
"The night isn't over yet, don't lose hope so quickly. We can still have a nice dinner together, just the two of us." I tease. I do hate that he's so stressed out about all this.
"You're very forgiving. I appreciate that."
Our food arrives and it's the same Avox as before. I can't speak to him this time and it feels so awkward. As usual, Drew doesn't even look in the direction of him. He puts our food on the table then leaves. The food smells really god and I'm actually kind of glad we ordered some because I didn't realize how hungry I was.
"What did you do all afternoon while I was sleeping through our time together?" He asks as he takes bite of his pasta.
"Just hung out in here and read a book. It was very relaxing."
"What sort of books do you like to read?"
"I'm a sucker for a good love story. Do you like to read?"
"I've never had much time for reading for the purpose of pleasure." He answers.
"What do you like to do? When you do have some rare free time?" I ask, not sure I know at all what he's personally interested in.
"I really like coding and programming, high tech stuff. There was a course I took one summer that really got me into it. If I could have any job, that's what I'd want to do. I'd want to work in computer programing."
"Technology, huh? Maybe you'll get to do some of that as Mayor. My father is always on his computer."
He shakes his head. "Oh I'll get to use computers plenty but I won't be the person building firewalls or doing the coding for new software. It's different."
"Have you thought about where you'd like to be Mayor?" I ask. I'm sure he'll pick his home district but I've never asked.
He shrugs. "I'll probably take whatever District they want to give me. There's several people in line to intern for Mayor and I'm sure they have preferences. I'll let them fight over who gets assigned where and then I'll take whatever is left. It doesn't matter much to me."
"You don't care at all where you'll live?"
"Do you? Is there somewhere you want me to bid for?"
I shake my head. "No, I just assumed you'd want to keep living in District 4, it's so beautiful there. I can be happy wherever we go."
"It is beautiful in District 4 and I'll miss the beaches if I end up somewhere else but I'm not going to have time to go to the beaches anyway. No matter where they assign me, I'm going to be busy all the time. That's a big reason why I don't care where I end up."
"Well I hope you'll have SOME free time at least." I say, emphasizing the word some. An image of me spending all my future time alone flashes through my mind and I don't like it. I know it's a demanding job and all but I always imagined I'd be able to spend time with whoever I married and the way he's talking, I'll never see him.
He reaches across the table and take my hand. "Don't worry, I'll make sure I always spend time with you."
"How many children do you picture us having?" I ask, suddenly extra curious about how he sees our future life playing out.
"I'd be happy with just one." He says taking the last bite of his dinner.
"Really? Just one? I always pictured myself with a house full of them."
"That's because you're an only child and you don't know what it's like to have siblings." He laughs.
"Well you may be right about that but I think it'd be nice for them to have a sibling to play with. Being an only child can be awfully lonely." I know he's right but so am I on this one.
"What about pets? Do you want one of those?" He asks, keeping the topic of our future going.
"I'd love to have a cat. A big fat spoiled house cat!" I admit. "My father wouldn't let me have one." I add, thinking back to how I used to beg and plead for one as a child.
"Then we will have a cat." He says, gazing at me and smiling.
I clap my hands, excited at the prospect of getting something I've always wanted.
He smiles, knowing he's made me happy with that. "I should probably get out of here and let you get some rest." He says, glancing at the clock.
"Don't leave yet! I'm having fun getting to actually talk to you and I'm not tired anyway." I'm lying about not being tired but I really do want him to stay a little longer. We so rarely get to just talk about whatever we want and there is still so much I want to learn about him.
"Are you sure that you aren't tired? It's pretty late." He asks, seeming unsure about staying.
"I'm sure." I tell him as I get up from my chair at the table and sit down, cross legged on my bed.
A smile crosses his face and he shakes his head a little as he comes and sits next to me. "This is one of the things I love about you."
"What?" I ask, not exactly sure what he's referring to.
"That out of the public eye, you're just so good at being yourself."
I scrunch my face in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"This." He says waving a hand at me. "You're just being you. You're not worried about what time it is, about being in pajamas or sitting cross legged on the bed with me here."
I laugh. "Would other girls have put on a cocktail dress and stayed seated at the table?"
He laughs as well and nods. "Most would've. But really, this is what I like."
"Me too. I have zero desire to sit around at a tiny little table in a fancy dress when I could just be in pajamas and sit on my comfy bed."
He leans towards me and I meet him partway, kissing him, looping my arms around his neck. "See, we couldn't have done that from across the table." I tease as our kiss breaks.
He leans back against the wall, holding my hand. "So other than a cat and a lot of children, what else do you want in our future? Tell me more."
"You tell me what you want." I reply, wanting him to offer up his thoughts instead.
"I just want for you to be really happy being married to me." He tells me, his voice just above a whisper. Then he kisses me again.
"Do you think you will be? Will you be happy married to me?" He asks.
"I will be." I tell him. Even though my answer is true, it's a still hard answer to give. I know I can be happy with Drew and I trust he will do all he can to make me happy but the life we will have to live I am not at all happy about. So while I'm happy to have been matched with him, I'll likely never truly feel happy with my life.
He smiles and we kiss again, this time more deeply. After the kiss ends, I scoot closer and turn to lay my head back in his lap. "I'm really glad you were my match." I say softly as I close my eyes. His hand comes up and he gently runs his fingers through my hair. I feel him lean down and press his lips to my forehead as I drift off to sleep. When I wake up, he's gone and there's a note on the table for me.
Madge,
Good morning, I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye. You were sleeping so peacefully that I didn't want to wake you. I enjoyed our time together and I'll call you soon.
Yours,
Drew
I smile at the note. He really is a sweet guy. Folding the note, I place it in my suitcase.
I get ready for the day, still hating my bright pink eyes every time I see myself in the mirror. I cannot believe I'm going to have to walk around District 12 looking like this. The pink streaks haven't washed out of my hair either so I assume they'll last awhile too. I slip into one of the dresses I'd packed from home before the trip, one Steffi picked out. It used to feel too fancy but now in comparison to the stuff Pisa gave me, Steffi's choices feel very good.
I decide to order breakfast to my room, still not caring to go and be social with the passengers in the dining car. The Avox boy brings it and I'm glad to see him again. I feel like the more often I can speak to him and make his time on this train less awful, the better.
"Hi, I was hoping you would be the one to bring my breakfast. I'm sorry I couldn't speak to you last night when you brought dinner." I say as he sets up my food and tea on the table.
He stills and I could swear it looks like he wants to say something to me. He lifts his eyes to mine and then nods down at the pen and pad of paper sitting there from when Drew left me the note. I realize he's asking me if he can write something down.
"Go ahead." I urge him. Whatever he has to say, I want to know.
He hesitantly takes the pen and writes something then holds it out for me to see.
Don't trust Drew.
"What? Why? Do you know him?"
He holds his palm up as if to say he can't or won't say anything else. He taps firmly against what he wrote on the paper and then tears it up, putting the shreds in his pocket. Then he goes to leave.
"Wait, please! I need to know what you mean!" I plead, hoping he will stop.
He turns and shakes his head. Just before he steps out of the door, his eyes meet mine and they look so pained, so sad. Whatever it is that he won't tell me, it must be horrific. My heart hurts for him and whatever it is but my mind is also spinning as I try to decide what he means about not trusting Drew. I sit, stunned and suddenly full of fear. Don't trust Drew?