Chapter 32
(Madge POV)
I stand outside my father's office, building my inner courage to ask for a copy of the passenger and employee list from the train. I really want to find out who the Avox boy is so I can start to hopefully figure what exactly it is that he was warning me about.
I take a deep breath and knock on the door.
"Come in." My father calls through the door.
I turn the crystal doorknob and step inside. "Hi, I'm sorry to interrupt your work but I needed a favor." I say.
He looks at me, waiting for me to continue.
"I wanted to see if you could give me a copy of the passenger and employee list for the train I took to the Capitol. There was a lovely woman from the Capitol that I met in the dining car and I can't for the life of me remember what her name was. I feel like I would know it once I saw it though. And I would feel awful if I ran into her again and couldn't remember her name, it would be such poor manners on my part so I'm trying to keep that from happening."
"I'm glad to see you've finally started taking your role as a Capitol supporter seriously. You're correct that it would be very poor manners to not recall this woman's name should you meet again. It is very wise of you to try and prevent that by coming to me for the list." He tells me, sounding oh so pleased with my lie I've just told him.
He prints something from his computer and then holds it out for me. A pleased look still on his face.
I take it. "Thank you. I'll do better in the future at making sure to remember the names of the people I meet."
"See that you do." He says as he returns to his work.
I leave knowing he is finished talking to me and so I can get to my room and look over the list in private. It's kind of ridiculous how pleased he was that I wanted to refresh my memory on the name of some Capitol woman from the train. He rarely ever sounds that pleased with me.
In my room I lock the door behind me and start looking through the list. It's sorted by passenger class and then by employees, both the paid staff and the Avox. I scan the list of Avox, searching for male names. And that's when I see it. The name I'm positive belongs to my Avox. I drop to the floor, still holding the paper in my hands. I can't believe this. I just can't believe this.
I fold the list in half, shove it in my pocket and head to the Seam. I don't care if it's the middle of the day or not. I need to speak to Gale right now. He's the only person who I can trust to give me advice on how to handle this. I know I'm destroying my heels as I walk, trying to stay on the edge of the grass so I can walk more easily than on the gravel. I don't care though. I have to find Gale right now and changing shoes was the last thing on my mind when I left the house.
I go up to Gale's house and knock on the door. I really need him to be home right now so I hope that he is.
A younger boy answers the door.
"Is Gale home?" I ask, trying to give him a smile.
"Yeah, hold on." He says and then he half shuts the door and disappears.
I stand, on the porch waiting and look around. No one seems to be out right now. There's someone hanging laundry several houses down but they don't seem to have noticed me.
The door swings open again and Gale stands before me. "Hey, what are you doing here?" He asks. He looks concerned.
"Do you have a minute? I need to talk to you." I tell him, urgency clear in my voice.
"Yeah. You wanna come in?" He asks, looking unsure about it.
I nod. I follow him inside. He leads me to a back room where he tells his brother to get out. They must share the room. Once he closes the door behind him he turns to me. "What's wrong?" He asks quietly.
I pull the list from my pocket and unfold it, showing it to him. "This is who the Avox boy is." I say pointing at the name.
"I don't understand. Who is it?"
"It's Martin! The boy I was supposed to be matched with! The one who got caught giving food to an Avox just before matching!" I explain, tears brimming my eyes.
"Wow. Did he and your guy know one another? I mean, you didn't know him obviously. Is it possible your guy didn't know him either?"
I shrug. "It's possible, there were like 200 of us there. I didn't know most of them. I never asked Drew if he knew Martin or not. I just assumed he didn't. But what if he did? What if they knew one another and Martin really does have a reason to warn me about not trusting Drew? Drew told me once that he knew someone who became an Avox and that's why he was so adamant that I not speak to any of the Avox because he was worried I'd get turned into one too! I don't know what to do! I mean, do I ask Drew about this? And how do I ask him without letting him know that the Avox and I have communicated with one another? I don't know what to do!" My words flooding out as emotion washes over me again.
Gale pulls me to a hug and I lean my face against his chest. He doesn't say anything, just holds me and slowly rubs my back. It's calming and I feel like I can breathe again. Finally, I pull back and look at him. "Gale, seriously, what should I do? Where do I go from here?"
He inhales, looking like he's choosing words carefully. "I think you need more information before you talk to your guy about it. The more you know before you confront him with anything, the better. Cause if he didn't tell you that he knew Martin from the very beginning of this whole matching thing then he probably isn't going to be completely honest with you about it now. So the more info you have beforehand, the better. But I think the Avox is right. You need to be careful about trusting him until you know for sure what the whole story really is between those two."
I nod. "You're right. I need to find out more of the story before I say anything to Drew. I don't know how I'll find anything out though."
"You will. You'll find a way to get more info. Until then, please be careful."
"I will."
Gale looks very hesitant and I can tell he wants to say something else but is torn about it.
"What?" I ask.
"Do you...does he know the real you? I mean, does he know that you really hate the Capitol? Have you told him?" He looks uncomfortable asking.
"Sort of. I mean, he knows I don't agree with them. He doesn't know I wish I could run away or that I've been out in the woods before or anything like that but he knows I don't like all the decisions made on my behalf about my future." I don't know why but I feel very guilty telling him this. Almost like me telling Drew my true thoughts is a betrayal to Gale.
"And how does he feel about that?"
I shrug a little. "He tells me he's sorry that things have to be the way that they are. He says he feels the same way as me."
"Does he do anything that would make you believe he thinks the Capitol is bad? Are you sure he thinks the way you do, I mean?"
I think about this. He always acts like he thinks the same about the Capitol as I do but truthfully, I've never seen it in action at all. He won't even get me flowers that aren't roses because roses are the flower we should use. And there's not even a penalty for giving me a different flower sometimes. I never really thought about any of it. It's all just been what he's told me. And I believed him without question. I feel so stupid. What if it isn't true? What if he really does support the Capitol fully? I shake my head at Gale in response.
"Okay, I need you to stop being your real self around him. You need to just do your whole fake, Capitol thing at least until you figure out what the deal is with him and Martin. I know it's a lot to ask and it isn't my place to say anything about how the two of you interact or whatever but I really need you to do this for me. Because I'm worried he won't have your best interest in mind all the time."
"I won't. I can keep the real me to myself, that's not a problem." I tell him. And I mean it. Until I know more about Drew, I'm playing it safe and not letting him see the real me at all.
He looks a little relieved and leans down to kiss my forehead.
"I also wanted to tell you, I looked over the map. I think it's accurate. From what I've seen passing through other districts on the train, it looks like the borders are still the same. If there have been any changes, they aren't easily noticeable."
"Really? Now that's good new!" He says, looking much happier now.
"Are you really going to try and find District 13?" I ask, almost in a whisper.
He nods. "Yeah, as soon as the fence is off long term again, I'm going."
I smile at him. It makes me so nervous to have him going off in search of the remains of 13. I have no idea if there is any truth to all the rumors about anything still being there but it is possible. It's also possible Gale could get caught and get into extreme trouble. That's the part that worries me. And it's not like it'll be close enough for him to find it in a single day. He's going to have to be gone for several days at least. And his absence will have to go unnoticed during that time. And I already know I'll be going crazy the whole time he's gone. And if he comes back and says it's still there, I know I will leave and go with him without question even though that part scares me too. It would be a final, bold rejection to the Capitol on my part if I up and completely disappeared.
(Gale POV)
When Vic comes and tells me some girl is at the door for me, Madge is the very last person I expect to find waiting for me there. I automatically know something must be really wrong. Turns out she discovered the Avox she's befriended is the guy she was actually supposed to marry. The guy that got in trouble with the Capitol and left her stuck with this other guy. I don't know what the deal with all of this is but I do know I do not trust this Drew guy whatsoever. And I'm really worried she may have already shown too much of her real self with him. I trust her to be careful going forward but I can't help but worry that she's already done some damage with anything she's already shared with him.
The good news that she brought though was that the map looks to be on point and that means I can start looking for the remains of 13 as soon as the games are over and the fence gets turned off for longer stretches of time again. That, I'm super excited about. Can't wait actually.
At the viewing, I see Katniss make another poor decision. She's been holed up in a cave with the baker kid who is injured so badly he'll probably die soon. She's safe and no one has any clue where they're hiding. The gamemakers know this and they've created what they call a feast at the cornucopia. A bag full of medicines and supplies for each district left in the games. All the tributes have to do is go and grab their bag and it could be exactly what they need to stay alive in the games. Or, and as is more likely the case, they show up to grab their bag and get knocked off by another tribute lying in wait. It's clearly a set up and she personally doesn't need a damn thing so I don't know why but she's actually going to go get her damn feast bag. It's for the medicine she knows the baker kid needs. It's so stupid though. I don't know why she's taking the risk when she knows people at home are depending on her and need her to make it back home alive.
When the viewing ends, I glance at Madge and she gives me a smile as she walks off towards her house. The pink is fading out in her hair and is barely noticeable. Her eyes are still shaded pink though. I still can't believe they did that to her. She was so pretty already and they still felt the need to put their stamp on her. I don't know how she manages to stay sane the way they constantly try to make her conform to what they want her to be. I'd lose my damn mind. I do notice one thing as I watch her walking home though. She's wearing the bracelet that I made her and it makes me smile.