Sirius Black was having an average day. Well, by rights, it should have been either an amazing or a terrible day, what with 1) his best friend James having figured out how to make himself twins, which was the best prank ever, 2) James only deploying this prank over a holiday, which was stupid, or 3) James not telling him in advance, which was unforgivable. So, between points one, two, and three, Sirius figured it about came out to an average day quality-wise.

What had happened was this: As Gryffindor Quidditch captain, James was allowed to come onto the Hogwarts grounds over the summer holiday to inventory the Gryffindor Quidditch supplies, like checking the quality of the brooms and testing out the various balls. James, of course, invited Sirius, Remus, and Peter along. He and Sirius had been swooping around the Quidditch pitch tossing a quaffle between them while Remus and Peter watched from the ground. Then, suddenly, there had been a tremendous crack. It sounded exactly like apparation, but apparation was impossible on school grounds, which made things a lot more intriguing. (Sirius may have had a reputation as a dunderhead, but that was a carefully affected aura of cool. He actually made top marks without trying.)

Looking down, Sirius saw half a dozen people on the pitch where none had been before, one of whom had apparently landed on Peter. He and James immediately dived for the ground and were off their brooms in a heartbeat, wands drawn. Sirius lowered his only fractionally when he saw that three of the six were kids, no older than fourth year. Death Eaters had kids, and they certainly weren't above using them to set up a trap.

"Ugh... Al, I'm going to kill you," a voice groaned. Sirius looked at the speaker, and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

"James!"

"Yes," both Jameses responded in nearly the exact way, confirming Sirius' hypothesis that his best friend did clone himself.

Sirius's attention, however, was not on his best friend or the clone, but on the young girl who had also cried out "James." She was thin and scrawny, had to be no older than a first year. She shares some similar features to James' clone and if Sirius made a habit of looking at the cuteness of kids, he would have to say that this girl was an undeniably cute kid.

"What happened, one sec I was flying and the other," the girl said, drawing the three boys' attention to her. She groaned, wincing as she straightened her leg where a purple-blue bruise had formed on her calf.

James and Sirius watched the clone instantly rolled over, his hands on the girl's leg. He did not think nor register his lookalike and the friend. His sole purpose was to assist the young girl.

"Lils, tell me when it's hurt," James instructed gently. Being in a very Quidditch family (he practically flew before he could walk) and a Gryffindor chaser (he hopes to gain captainship when Lara Wood graduates the upcoming year), he has had his fair share of athletic injuries that first aid comes second nature to him. And assisting his little sister, before assessing the situation, comes first than anything.

"What do you think?" the small redhead said through clenched teeth. She pointed to the very visible and obvious bruise.

James II, as Sirius decided to refer to him as such, ran his hands over the length of her leg.

"Good news, Kiddo. Nothing broken."

Sirius looked around at everyone. Something was off about his face. It took Sirius a moment of intense staring to realize that the boy was missing James' glasses. He wasn't squinting like James did without them, so he must not need them.

"Where's Al? I'm going to murder him…"

"No, I'm going to murder you," snapped a young man with electric blue hair. He had to be nineteen or twenty at least and was helping a stunningly gorgeous young woman to her feet. Sirius noted the rings on both their fingers and reluctantly filed the blond-haired beauty away in his mind as 'off limits for more than casual flirting.' "What did you do? Do you have any idea what could have happened to Victoire?"

"It wasn't me, it was Al!" James II protested. "He—"

"Fine, then it'll be a double murder! You could have hurt Victoire!"

"You okay, Vic?" James II asked the apparently French girl (Sirius was really starting to resent that wedding ring). She looked a little green and had both hands pressed to her stomach, but she nodded all the same. "Lily here, on the other hand—"

At the mention of Lily, Sirius' James perked up at that, as he always did when the L word was mentioned. (He was obsessed with Evans, really, it was getting a little weird, like those stuffy romantic poems Sirius' pre-Hogwarts tutors had used to try to bore him to death). So, far no one seemed to have noticed him and Sirius watched, but Remus and Peter were finally making their way down from the stands. (Peter appeared to have tripped, holding them up a bit.)

"Hey! We're here too!" shouted another girl, probably third year, who looked as Irish as they came. She and a blond boy came running over. The boy nearly collapsed beside the girl called Lily, white-faced with concern.

Sirius had an instinct for pathetic life-long crushes. His best friend was a textbook example. That kid had all the signs of having it bad. Merlin's beard, it was catching.

"George, Scorpius," the blue-haired wizard said, "are you okay?"

Sirius furrowed his brows, as he followed his best friend and dismounted his broom. The wizard was obviously the leader of these kids, being too old for Hogwarts. The Irish girl had a boy's name. The French girl was gorgeous but married to his disappointment. The blond boy had a terrible puppy-love with the young Lily. James II was too focus on young Lily (Sirius grew a little nauseous of another James and Lily duo, even if this pair was more platonic).

As if to prove Sirius' thoughts, James II snapped, "Yeah, yeah, we are all here. But, Lily -"

"Lily! Are you okay," screamed Victoire, her hands flew to her mouth.

"That what I've been saying!"

"Shush, James, Lily's hurt," James threw his hands up in the air as the blue-haired wizard moved over, his bright hue shifting to an indigo. Sirius realized, with more extreme jealously, that this wizard was a metamorphmagus. His cousin 'Meda's five-year-old daughter possessed the rare trait and Sirius has been trying to influence the little girl about all the pranks she is able to accomplish.

The girl, red-faced, remained silent as the metamorphmagus and wife tended to the girl. She swallowed hard, barely saying anything to keep from crying and her gaze moving from the metamorphagus, to his wife, to James II, to George, and curiously not to Scorpius.

"Teddy?"

"Yeah, I'm here," the metamorphagus said with concern.

"Who are they," the small girl lifted an arm, her pointer finger outstretched pointing directly at four Marauders.

"We're the ones who get to ask the questions, kid," Sirius said, not unkindly. "We're all supposed to be here."

"For once," Remus muttered.

"But," Sirius continued over his goody-two-shoes friend, "you guys are either nefarious criminal masterminds or the greatest pranksters the world's ever seen, apparating into Hogwarts grounds like you did. Oi, James, how did you suddenly become twins?"

"I didn't," the Jameses said in utter unison. And immediately afterward "Hey, who are you?" And again: "James Potter."

"Shut up, I'm talking here!" James I exclaimed, eying his counterpart intently. "You've taken Polyjuice, haven't you? Why aren't you wearing glasses?"

"I have not," James II said. He still had his arm around the girl Lily, who was pushing herself to her feet and very much not looking at the blond kid. "I always look this handsome. And I don't need glasses."

"You don't?" James I fell to his knees. "Teach me your ways!"

"Uh. No."

"Teddy." The girl called George was pulling on the metamorphmagus' arm. "Teddy, we've lost Freddie and Art and…and a lot of people."

"I know," Teddy muttered. "You're sure you're okay?" he asked his French wife for about the twentieth time.

She was still hugging her stomach and looking a little green, but she nodded faintly. "We're fine."

"We…?" George asked, then squealed at a truly window-shattering volume. "WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!"

"Quiet down," Teddy said, having finished his headcount of his charges and now scanning the Marauders. His face went absolutely white, his blue hair turned brown, and he sat down where he was standing. "Oh, Merlin's beard."

Sirius took a quick glance behind him. Teddy was staring at Remus, who returned his regard with utter bafflement and growing nerves. Sirius' metaphorical hackles rose. Teddy looked like he had seen…a wolf. Never had anyone recognized Remus as a werewolf at a look, but Sirius was fully prepared to take measures to address the problem, up to and including blackmail and abduction.

James, Lily, George, and Scorpius obeyed Teddy's order of silence. The girls, Lily and George, were sporting identical grins at the prospect of a little one. While James pursed his lips at the strange thought Teddy - his cool, big brother - becoming a dad. Scorpius was not particularly used to babies and half-wondered how a new baby would change his family dynamic (both Scorpius' and Teddy's grandmothers had rekindled their relationship, thus Scorpius grew up knowing his second cousin as his first).

Victoire, wordlessly, took Teddy's hand. The last time she had seen such a look on her husband was during her third year (his sixth) when she found him staring at an old yearbook, from the seventies, in the library. He had swallowed hard, his hand running across the moving pictures of four best friends.

"Oh," Victoire breathed.

Sirius gripped his wand, so did James. Peter, soon, followed suit.

"Are you well," Remus said, a bit more tactfully than his closest friends. He was eying the metamorphmagus intently. "You look like you've seen a, a wolf," he said, giving a wry smile at the hidden truth of the popular idiom.

"Don't much like wolves," Teddy shrugged, tightening his grip around his wife's hand. "Even though my patronus is one, but the full moon and I still don't get along much."

"You're a werewolf," Remus said, his eyes narrowed. He could typically tell if another werewolf was in his vicinity. But this man did not have any sort of werewolf scent, except for a barely noticeable trace.

"Son of a werewolf," Teddy corrected. "He's a war hero and a far better man than I could ever be. I just have his name and gets a little moody during full moons."

"Moony," Lily squealed, her injured leg bandaged and elevated on top of her brother's lap.

"How do you know that name," James, Sirius' James, asked his hand tightening around his broom.

"Who are you," Sirius shouted.

"It's James, Al, and my nickname for Teddy," Lily said, summoning her Slytherin guile. "I'm Lily and you are?"

"That's my little sister Lily," Teddy said, his hair matching Lily's auburn. Even though he was proud to be Remus and Nymphadora Lupin's son, he still considered himself as the Potter Kids' big brother. "They call me Moony during full moons, because moody and moon," he lied smoothly. He was the son of a marauder, he prided himself in lying and getting out of trouble unscathed.

"What, no," James, James II to Sirius and Teddy's brother, said his brows furrowed. He was the grandson of a marauder and namesake of two marauders, a brash Gryffindor, and all the same Ron Weasley's nephew. Sometimes he could get out unscathed, other times his foot goes in his mouth.

"Yes," Teddy interposed firmly. He was an intern in the Department of Mysteries (certainly on merit, but he had to admit that letters of recommendation. And letters from Harry Potter and multiple important Ministry functionaries by the surname of Weasley certainly had helped). He knew about the ill-effects of time travel. One person traveling back in time could cause upwards of fifteen people to become unborn. What could an entire family of people do? The most they could hope for was to minimize the damage.

Unfortunately, none of the Marauders were stupid. "Back up," the first James Potter said firmly. He had his wand out now, not pointed at anyone, but held loosely in his hand. It was a clear signal of being ready to use it if threatened. "Who are you people and what's going on?"

"We're your grandkids," the second James Potter burst out in a moment of bad timing that put his uncle Ron to shame. "Teddy's Remus' son, and—"

"Silencio!" Teddy snapped. And so, his idiot brother could only stand there mouthing silently. But the damage was done. The Marauders looked more like they had been attacked than anything else.

Lily's eyes flicked to Peter Pettigrew, who had so far said nothing. For a moment she could not conceal her deep loathing for the rat who had destroyed the lives of all his friends. But Slytherins were nothing if not pragmatic, so she marshalled a chagrinned expression. For once in his miserable life, Wormtail could do some good.

"Oh, give it up, Otto, they're obviously not falling for it." Everyone blinked at her in confusion, none more so than her brother. But, given that all the Marauders were looking at her and not the reactions of those around them, she felt her gambit was working. "We really botched the entrance. If I hadn't gotten hurt… Sorry, Peter."

All eyes swung to Peter Pettigrew. He froze like a rat in a trap, and then stammered out an "I-It's all right."

Lily suppressed a smile. Her instincts had been right. Pettigrew was too afraid of appearing useless to admit he didn't know what was going on. His friends' good opinion of him must already be hanging by a thread as it was (at least she hoped so). It would be easy to use that to their advantage.

"What's she talking about, Wormy?" Sirius asked.

Pettigrew hemmed and hawed, and Lily used James II's arm to haul herself upright. Standing one-footed, she said, "Peter hired us to prank you. We were supposed to pop out of nowhere and pretend to be your kids and grandkids from the future."

Teddy let out a barely audible breath. Whether it was incredulous of relieved, Lily couldn't tell. She continued with her explanation, "Otto and I were going to be your grandkids, James." She gestured between herself and her brother. "Teddy is supposed to be Remus' son." Since they didn't know that Teddy was named after his paternal grandfather, it seemed safe for him to keep his name. "It was just a joke."

"What about me?" Sirius demanded. "Don't I get kids?"

"Well, George and Sc…Skyler were supposed to be your kids, but we didn't get there yet." She figured it was believable. Scorpius' grandmother was Sirius' inbred first cousin, so the resemblance was there just enough to be believable, and George had the right sense of humor.

"What kind of a name is George for a girl?" Sirius demanded.

Like a true prankster, George smoothly joined the deception. "Do duh. Georgina is my real name. We were supposed to be called Gemini and Scorpius Black."

"But what's your name," James asked Lily.

"Luna," she replied without missing a beat. "Peter said he wanted to make you feel better about your chances with some girl and reassure Remus that he could still have a family." Suddenly she realized an unforeseen flaw in the plan. Teddy had said his father was a werewolf. They had to lead three of four Marauders to believe that Pettigrew had just spilled that secret for the sake of a prank. Not even he was that much of a rat.

Sirius, James, and Remus had reached the same conclusion at the same time and were turning disbelieving looks on Peter. The rat appeared near panicked. "I—I—"

"My dad really is a werewolf," Teddy burst out. All eyes turned to him again. "He… he saw your name in the werewolf registry once. Told me about you when Pettigrew tried to hire us to help out James. He wanted you to know that it's possible for a werewolf to have a good future."

The three Marauders bewilderedly stared at the fourth member. Sirius tentatively looked at Remus. "So, Moony, what do you think?"

By the far the most pragmatic Marauder, Remus scratched the back of his head. This prank did not sound like something that Peter would concoct. In fact, Peter's last prank was during second year and involved a horrific disaster of Slughorn singing Celestina Warbeck and attempting to seduce McGonagall. Since then the three other Marauders barred Peter from making any major decisions by himself.

"Pete, is it true," James asked. "Why?"

"I," Peter stammered.

"He wanted to make you feel better," a new voice said. All heads turned to Scorpius, who had not said anything. "I'm actually Teddy's cousin, our grandmothers are sisters, and with the stigma of werewolves it does cause negative feelings to the werewolf." He stared wistfully. "Dad used to tell me about the difficulties Teddy's dad faced and Peter was being a good friend."

Teddy blinked, looking at the blond boy. He was not aware that Draco Malfoy spoke of his father. Draco was always that elusive, pale figure who would be in the background and watch Teddy from a distance during family gatherings.

"Is this true, Pete?"

Peter nodded, his palms sweating.

And in the shadows, watching the group, was an older Severus Snape with a small smile. Quite proud of Lupin's boy for his pragmatics, Malfoy's boy for his compassion, and his Lily for her Slytherin qualities.

Severus waited until the Marauders' backs were turned, and then shot off a nonverbal stunning charm and memory spell in quick succession. The four boys would wake up on the pitch sure they had fallen from their brooms during some horseplay. Admittedly he was still petty enough to take a small satisfaction from watching his schoolyard nemesis, James Potter, flop over like a boned fish. Well, Severus Snape had never claimed to be perfect. A heartbeat later, Severus found himself the focus of a massive, glomping group hug from his grandchildren, granddaughter-in-law, and one future grandson-in-law (though he would have denied it vehemently at the time). Severus did a quick head count and was relieved that all grandchildren were now accounted for (dragon included).

"This is what I get for leaving you all alone."