Chapter 42
(Madge POV)
I wait my turn to get checked in. The larger family groups went first and then the couples without children, leaving just single individuals in the room. Myself, Drew and one older man. I'm really hoping that either myself or Drew gets to go next so that the two of us aren't left alone in the room together. Unfortunately, the older man gets called back next. I sit quietly in my chair and stare down at the concrete floor. It's only seconds before I hear him slide his chair back and come over to sit next to me.
"Can we talk please?" He asks.
"I think we've said all we need to say to one another." I reply without looking up.
"Maybe you have, but I haven't. I have questions too and I feel like you owe me answers."
I look up and turn towards him. I imagine this is all about Gale and if I'm honest with myself, that is something that he deserves to know answers about if he wants them. "What questions do you have?"
"What did I do that made you suspicious of me? What made you go and read my journal?"
I'm surprised he opened with that question but I answer it anyway. "Martin warned me not to trust you."
He shakes his head. "I knew it was a mistake to have you on the same train that he was working on. How long ago?"
"Remember that time you overslept on the train? It was that next morning. He didn't give me details, just simply told me not to trust you."
"That was recent. But you were seeing this Gale guy before that?"
I nod.
"And what were you planning to do when I selected you at the end of our courtship? Were you just going to stop seeing him?"
"Yes. I wouldn't have continued the relationship if I was married."
"So you weren't planning to run away and live here in District 13 together? You just happened to have an illegal map of how to get here?"
"The map was a recent, accidental find that we held onto just in case. I won't lie though, I would've left and come here if I was certain it existed. I never wanted the life that was planned for me, you know that."
"And where did I fall in all of this? Did I ever mean anything to you or was it all fake?"
"Before I found out what you did, I liked you, that wasn't fake. But us being together was a decision made for me, not by me. Being with Gale was a decision I made for myself." I tell him.
"Just one more question. Do you plan to never speak to me again or do you think we'll ever get to a place where we can be friends at least? Because I'd really like to know that you'll forgive me one day."
"Drew, I can't be your friend. You and I are finished in every capacity. I appreciate that my forgiveness matters to you but I don't think that's something I'll ever be able to offer you."
"Lucky for me, I have a lifetime stuck underground with you. I'll wait. This thing you have with him won't last and when it's over, I want you to know that I'll be here, waiting for you."
I'm about to tell him not to bother waiting when the woman comes back in the room and calls on me to get checked in. I leave the room without responding. I'll have to tell Gale about this whole conversation, especially his last comment. I hate to do that because it's going to just stir up the hate between them but I feel like he needs to know, especially since we'll all be living here together and Drew seems unable to comprehend that we are never getting back together.
The check in process is mostly just them collecting my personal information like name, birthdate, district affiliation, etc. The woman taking the information seems a little surprised to find out that I am the daughter of the mayor but she doesn't comment about it, just quickly covers her initial facial reaction and continues on. She hands me a bag containing two uniforms, a pair of slip on shoes, a sleeping gown and a handbook that will tell me about what to expect of my new life here in 13. She also issues me an identification badge that I am expected to always have with me. She presses a button that alerts someone that I'm ready to be taken to my living quarters.
A girl in a grey shirt and pants comes to get me.
"Miss Undersee?" She asks as she stands in front of me.
"Yes, hello." I say, standing and holding out a hand to shake hers. She shakes it but seems surprised by my formalness. I suppose most people don't bother shaking hands with everyone they meet, especially in this sort of situation. I'll probably find myself doing a lot of things that seem unusual to others, at least initially as I get used to just being myself and not being the daughter of a mayor anymore.
The girl leads me to an elevator and briefly explains how to use the keypad to make it take me where I need to go. She also gives me a map and I'm shocked to see how elaborate it is. The new district 13 is much larger than I thought it would be. She leads me to a door that has a keypad panel instead of a doorknob. She hands me a slip of paper with the code and I punch it in and the door opens.
I step inside and find an incredibly small, concrete room. And obviously windowless. There's a small twin size bed. Two metal shelves on the wall. A small sink, small toilet and small mirror, all right there in the open. It looks much more like a prison cell than a housing unit, at least as far as what I imagined. The whole space is probably less than 5 ft wide if I had to guess. I realize there isn't a shower and turn to ask about that.
"Um, what about showers?" I ask.
"These are the individual units which is why they're so compact. To allow for more units on the floor, this type of floor uses communal showers. You'll find them at the end of the hallway. Family units have their own full bathrooms." She explains and I can tell she can tell that I'm taken aback by how small it is. Without waiting for a response, she hands me another bag.
"These are your bedding, toiletries, towels and vitamins." She says as I take the bag.
"How do I find out where another refugee is living?" I ask, eager to find Gale.
"You'll have to ask at the housing department on the first floor. They'll be open first thing in the morning."
As she says that I suddenly realize that it's the middle of the night. I've only been underground for a few hours and I've already lost my sense of day and night. And then I also realize I'm about to spend the entire night alone and panic floods through me. "Is there no way to find out now? They arrived with me this evening."
She shakes her head. "Sorry, it'll have to wait until morning. Goodnight." She says as she steps out and the door closes behind her.
I sit on the bed and look around. It's so small. So plain and uncomfortable looking. I feel like crying but then I tell myself to pull it together. It may be small and concrete but it's mine and has zero affiliation with the Capitol. That's a win in my book. I stand and go over to the mirror where I audibly gasp at my own reflection. I look like a complete disaster of a mess! I guess it's time to check out those communal showers. Over at the bed, I gather toiletries, towel and sleeping gown. I glance at the code to my door and commit it to memory so that I can get back in easily.
Out in the hallway, it's quiet but I suppose that's to be expected at this hour. I wonder how I'm supposed to tell time here? I didn't see a clock in my room. I'll have to look that up in the handbook later. I make my way to the end of the hallway where I find a room marked "Showers". Inside, I find a row of shower stalls with simple, plastic curtains hanging in front of them. There will clearly be zero privacy here which makes me nervous because I've always had total privacy in having my own bathroom. At least it's empty right now.
I set my things down on a small metal shelf outside the shower and peel off my green satin dress. It's trash now after what I've put it through the past few days in the woods so I drop it in the trash can by the door. Then in the shower, I turn on the water and almost scream at the coldness of it. I wait a moment for it to warm up but it only warms mildly. I decide that must be the best it gets and start washing my hair. There's only shampoo, no conditioner. And the soap I've been given is nothing like the creamy bath gel I'm used to using. I'm not quite finished rinsing the soap off my body when the water shuts off by itself. I try to turn it back on but it beeps and I realize that there must be a time limit on showers here. I let out a sigh and dry myself off with what has to be the scratchiest towel I've ever used and then I slip the sleeping gown over my head. I gather my things and head back to my room where I have to use my cold sink water to finish rinsing the soap off my legs.
After that, I make up my bed with the bedding I was given. It's just a plain sheet set and thin wool blanket. I let out a sigh and look around. I brush my teeth and then place the toothbrush and toothpaste on one of the little shelves next to the bottle of vitamins they gave me. I put my uniforms on the other. And just like that, I'm all moved in I guess. I know it's late and I really should try to sleep if I can. I find the light switch and flip it off, the room going totally dark but then a light blue stream of light appears and on the ceiling I notice it's a clock. And apparently it's 3am. Yes, I definetly need to try to sleep. I crawl under the covers and try but it takes quite a long time, with lots of tossing and turning. Finally, I somehow fall asleep but the next thing I know, a humming bell sort of sound goes off and the lights flick on. I rub my eyes and see that it's 6:30am, the clock now illuminated on the ceiling in red.
I get up, yawning and feeling the lack of sleep I had. I brush my teeth and splash cold water on my face. Then I get myself dressed in one of the uniforms and clip my badge to the front of it. I can't see how I look in such a small mirror but I see that my hair is a disaster. I wish I had a brush or some hair product or even a hair tie would be nice. All I have though is a small comb that tangles in my naturally curly hair. It takes me repeatedly wetting the comb and and a lot of forceful tugging on it to get it to rake through my hair. When I'm done with that, I take the map I was given and head off to find out where Gale is being housed.
The hallways are much busier than last night. I find the elevator and get on with several others. I decide the best and fastest way to get to Gale is to just ask for directions to the housing department.
"Excuse me, I need to speak to someone in the housing department. Can you tell me how to get there?" I ask the woman next to me on the elevator.
She looks down at my name badge and then at my face, staring for a moment before she says a single word. "Did you just arrive?" She asks, ignoring my question.
"Yes, last night. I'm Madge Undersee. Do you know where I can find the housing department?" I repeat.
"I know who you are. And yes, the housing department is on the first floor." She replies flatly.
I'm shocked that she knows who I am and I am about to ask how in the world she knows when the elevator doors open and she steps off without another word. Another woman in the elevator turns to me and offers a smile. "When you get off on the first floor, go left and you'll see the door to that department is clearly marked. You won't miss it."
"Thank you." I tell her, grateful for her kindness but still a little shaken by the coolness of the other woman.
The elevator finally gets to the first floor and I step off and turn left as instructed. I find the door, marked just as she said it would be and I go in. Relief floods through me completely when I find Gale standing there at the desk looking very impatient.
"Gale!" I run over and throw my arms around him. I know it's only been hours since I last saw him but it feels like it's been forever.
"I've been waiting for hours to find out where they took you!" He tells me as he gives me a kiss. "I was here as soon as they opened and was just trying to find out what floor you were on."
"I was coming here so I could find you!" I laugh.
He tells the woman behind the desk to never mind and we step back out into the hallway.
"They wouldn't or couldn't tell me where you were last night, I'm so sorry!" He apologizes.
"I know. I tried to find out where you were too but it was no use. I was one of the last to get checked in anyway and it was really late by the time I got to my unit."
"Want to grab some breakfast and then check our itinerary for the day?" He asks.
"Itinerary?" I question, having no clue what he is referring to.
"We have a schedule to keep. Until we are given jobs, we have to check a daily schedule, posted in the dining hall that we are responsible for following."
"And you know this how?"
"I read it in the handbook they gave us. Couldn't really sleep so I had to do something." He explains.
I pull out my map and hold it up. "Do you have any idea where the dining hall is located? This place is so much larger than I anticipated."
"Yep. And we don't need the map. I walked my family there on my way here so I know where it is. Come on, let's go see what sort of food this place has." He says as he throws an arm around my shoulders and leads us that way.
As we walk , I ask about his housing unit, curious what a family style unit looks like. "What's your housing unit like?"
"It's plain. Better than our Seam house. How's yours?"
"It's going to take some getting used to but feels good to know that it's all mine and not the Capitol's." I say, wishing he'd told more detail about his.
"Probably much smaller than what you're used to, huh?" He jokes.
"You could say that." I smile back.
We find the dining hall which is filled with people and get in line for food. As we make our way through the line, I notice a few people staring at me. Some even boldly point in my direction as they talk amongst their table.
"Gale, some of these people seem to know who I am. How is that possible?" I ask in whisper.
"They get Capitol news here. Probably recognize you from that."
My heart drops a little because I really wanted to come here with a clean slate but it looks like I'll have to spend some time undoing the image I've spent a lifetime building according to Panem standards. Surely once they get to know the real me, they'll see I'm not at all what the image portrayed. Surely they'll like the real me.