Chapter Summary: Shaun and Lea's current issues with their mental health issues clash with their anniversary event. Also, Dr. Glassman and everyone else suspects that Lea's postpartum psychosis has taken a turn for the worse.
AN: Sorry it took long to update, the first week of school (and it's also my first full school year of teaching) was last week and I spent weekends writing lesson plans and making seating arrangements. I also had to do much more research on postpartum psychosis and the only time it's been portrayed in a drama was on an episode of Call the Midwife…as well as try and figure out how to extend it into multiple chapters with my plans for what happens next in the story. Before you read the chapter, Lea is in a manic state instead of a depressive one (which was last chapter). Anyway, here is Chapter 19.
November 4th was a very significant day because it was the day Shaun and Lea got married. November 4th was also today, which meant that it was their one-year wedding anniversary.
Unfortunately, it wasn't really feeling like a happy anniversary at all. Instead, this whole day and the days leading up to it felt more like a melancholic anniversary.
As soon as Lea admitted to Shaun that she was hearing voices, that cowbell had to be rung. Even after that loud ring of the cowbell, there were two instances between them.
First, it was when Lea told Shaun that Ms. Brenda was a murderer. When Shaun asked her where she heard that, she just said that a voice told her. The second time was when they got into a fight over medication with Lea saying that it was nothing but evil because doctors like him were in it for the money (according to what her hallucination told her). Shaun then argued back to tell her that it couldn't be doctors like him because surgeons don't write prescriptions. She then told him that surgeons like him were arrogant.
Her parents and Donnie were also getting worried as well and then started calling Shaun all the time, telling him about Lea's disturbing phone calls and text messages she had been giving them.
Those two incidents plus the worried calls from Lea's parents and brother also convinced Shaun to drag her to the hospital (and unfortunately by force because he considered this to be an urgent emergency), where she was prescribed antidepressants and antipsychotics - Zoloft and Zyprexa.
In addition to the medication, they also finally started going to therapy again, which was starting to help Shaun a little bit. However, Lea has started canceling ever since she was put on medication.
As for Shaun, he was still depressed and anxious; his therapist even suggesting that he goes on medication, but he stubbornly refused as usual.
Even with therapy, Shaun and Lea were still feeling a bit disconnected from each other. However, that was only the smallest part of the problem because even though Lea claimed that therapy was unnecessary because of her medicine and that she was going to find her own therapist, she had been secretly throwing out her medication and flushing it down the toilet.
In order to bridge their disconnect and rekindle their relationship, Shaun set up an anniversary dinner picnic at their favorite park.
Naively, Shaun believed that Lea was getting better or at least starting to…but it was actually a manic period as she has been pretty hyperactive.
Her hallucinations and delusions were beginning to get worse.
The voices in her head continued to tell her that she didn't deserve Violet or Shaun and that she was a bad wife and a bad mother. In addition, the voices were also convincing her that Violet was going to grow up to resent her, that Ms. Brenda was a child murderer despite seeing no physical evidence, that everyone but Shaun was out to harm her baby, that CPS was after her, and that Dr. Glassman was plotting to fire her.
However, recently, the voices were telling her that she was Supermom and that she was a martyr…even telling her that she was better at parenting than Shaun was and that she needed to sacrifice sleep to take care of Violet.
People at the hospital were starting to get a little bit suspicious since the manic period started.
For instance, Dr. Park walked by her office two days ago and heard her laughing very loud at nothing…almost as if she was high or something. He asked her if she was alright, and she answered with "Of course, I'm super!"
Yesterday, Nurse Villanueva noticed her walking down the hall with dark circles under her eyes. When she asked the mother if she'd gotten any sleep, Lea was a bit too cheery and told her that there was no need for sleep.
Claire was getting worried the most and so were Lea's colleagues and subordinates, Morgan, Jordan, Asher, Dr. Rendón, Dr. Lim, Dr. Glassman, who finally confronted Shaun about it, and he was going to further talk with Lea at dinner tonight.
This morning, Shaun was even getting suspicious all over again when Lea told him that she was going to be tending to Violet from now on whenever she cries, not him. She even told him that he wasn't an adequate father, which hurt his feelings and made him kind of angry.
"Parenting is an equal partnership," he reminded her, feeling the tears form in his beet-red eyes as he ruffled his hair.
When he told Claire about what happened today, she told him that Lea was obviously still not okay because she had seen this happen to her mom before with the mood swings.
Right now, Shaun and Lea were getting ready for dinner as they waited for Dr. Glassman to arrive. He was going to be babysitting Violet in the apartment while the parents had their anniversary dinner.
As Lea got her purse together, she looked at Violet, who was snuggled up in the infant carrier hanging in front of Shaun like a reversed backpack.
"You know he sucks at this. He doesn't have what it takes to be Superdad," the voice said. "That's what makes you Supermom!"
Lea nodded at her hallucination in agreement.
"You're right," she whispered softly enough that Shaun couldn't hear her.
"You can't leave her alone with that old grouch," the voice in her head told her. "Dr. Glassman cannot be trusted. You're a much better parent than Shaun and you know it best; you're the only one who can be trusted with Violet. Tell Shaun that dinner is canceled!"
"Shaun, we either need to cancel dinner or Violet needs to come with us," blurted Lea without any hesitation, obeying her hallucination.
"Why?" Shaun questioned as he gathered everything for the evening picnic and stroked the top of Violet's head. "Violet isn't sick. Are you sick? Did Dr. Glassman call to say that he couldn't come?"
"No," replied Lea, sighing. "I don't trust Dr. Glassman."
"Why?" Shaun asked, shocked as he widened his eyes.
"I just don't trust him," she huffed.
Right on cue, Dr. Glassman knocked on the door.
Shaun immediately walked towards the door to open it for his mentor, in which Dr. Glassman smiled and greeted a "hello" to his surrogate son.
Dr. Glassman playfully greeted Violet, allowing the baby girl to squeeze his finger, before he walked over to greet Lea.
The first thing he noticed about his surrogate daughter-in-law was that she honestly looked like crap as if she hadn't slept in days. He hasn't seen her all day or even all day the day before due to her shutting everybody at the hospital out, but now that he got a closer look at her face, she had dark circles under her eyes as if she used way too much eye shadow…or as if she was high.
"Lea, are you okay?" He asked with genuine concern, reminding him too much of Maddie coming home high, especially since Lea sometimes reminded him of her. "Have you even slept at all?"
He has been getting complaints (concerns, actually) from Lea's colleagues and subordinates about her behavior. Work was getting done adequately, but not without challenges.
"Stop acting so concerned for me, Aaron," grumbled Lea haughtily. "You really hate me and you're going to fire me soon."
Feeling a little hurt and surprised by Lea calling him by his first name, he walked away from Lea and then whispered to Shaun about his worries.
"Is everything going okay?" He murmured. "Has Lea slept? She looks terrible!"
"I don't know," Shaun answered with distress, ruffling his hair roughly. "I don't know. She didn't sleep at all last night. She said that the medication was giving her insomnia, which is puzzling since tiredness and drowsiness are bigger side effects of Zoloft and Zyprexa than insomnia. I think we might need to talk to her doctor about switching her medications or maybe the medication isn't working. She says the medicine is helping, which is confusing because she said it's giving her insomnia, and she told me that she wanted to see a therapist by herself. Nothing makes sense!"
Dr. Glassman sighed, deciding to have the couple at least attempt to have a nice anniversary dinner.
"Okay, just…try and enjoy your night out and then immediately call me if things get worse psychologically," advised Dr. Glassman as he reached his arms out for Violet for Shaun to hand her to him followed by an important list containing instructions.
Once Aaron noticed that Violet was possibly starting to get a little tired, he put her down in her pack 'n' play in Shaun and Lea's bedroom to go nighty-night.
Before he turned on the TV to go channel surfing, he made sure the baby monitor was working right (Shaun left him instructions since this wasn't the kind of baby monitor he had when Maddie was born) and that the camera was positioned in a position to where it was viewing Violet's whole body in the portable crib.
As he watched Violet sleep through the digital baby monitor, he turned off the TV after a few minutes and then pulled out his phone to call Debbie, who immediately picked up.
"How is everything going?" She asked.
"Violet is fine. I just put her down to go to sleep," he answered. "However, I'm kind of worried about Shaun and Lea…mostly Lea. She's been a little strange lately."
"I mean, Lea is on medication, right? Maybe Shaun could benefit from medication also?" Debbie inquired before offering a suggestion. "And they're also talking to a therapist. Maybe just give them time? Postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis don't go away overnight."
"I don't know," sighed Aaron, rubbing his face in frustration. He wanted to give them space, but he was afraid of the same thing happening to Maddie to happen to one of them. "But they're both seriously sick. I don't know if Shaun realizes, and I think he is starting to now, but Claire said that Lea is probably in a manic state right now, where she might get pretty reckless. I might talk to him about it when he and Lea come back from dinner. Should we intervene? Do you think I should lay her off for a while? I mean, she thinks I hate her and that I'm going to fire her. I was never planning on it."
With both Shaun and Maddie, he learned the hard way about both being too distant and being too pushy.
He gave Maddie a lot of space, but then she drifted further and further away with him working a lot and his ex-wife constantly out of town. She then resorted to drugs and then things got worse, eventually leading to her death.
When he coerced Shaun into therapy one time, that resulted in Shaun having an intense meltdown in the hospital lobby and then an unintentional slap in the face.
"Well, I'm not a psychiatrist or a psychologist, but…the best advice I can give right now is to at least make sure they're attending their therapy sessions and that Lea is taking her medication. She is taking them, right?" Debbie queried over the phone.
"Yes, she most likely is. Shaun said she is taking Zoloft and Zyprexa and the bottles are halfway gone. I might drive them to their sessions later to make sure, and Lea says she is thinking about seeing her own therapist, so maybe I could take her just to be sure. When I came to their apartment, she looked like she hadn't slept; like a zombie," explained Aaron. "Also, if she really has insomnia, then that is pretty odd because that's not listed as a side effect of Zoloft or Zyprexa. It's actually the opposite."
All of a sudden, Aaron was interrupted by the cries of Violet.
"Deb, I've got to go," sighed Aaron. "The baby is crying. I love you."
"I love you, too," professed Debbie. "I'll see you when you get home."
"Bye," hang up Aaron, immediately getting up off the couch to go tend to Violet. Once he picked her up, he eventually figured out that she was hungry and then went to the fridge to get some stored milk for her.
As he fed her the bottle, he had a little one-sided pep talk with his surrogate granddaughter.
"I'm really worried about your parents," he sighed. "Especially your mommy. She's taking her medication and going to therapy, but I feel like her postpartum psychosis could be getting worse. I'm wondering if I should lay her off for just a little bit so she could get more treatment."
It was a nice and quiet evening at the park. The sound of crickets chirping was a very soothing sound for Shaun to hear. According to him, picnics in the park at night with his own homemade food that he put together himself always beat the loudness at crowded restaurants with food that might come with pickles.
Date nights like these were usually enjoyed by Shaun and Lea, but it was getting hard to enjoy their anniversary dinner with Lea's strange behavior. She spent most of the meal hyperactively going on and on about how she was Supermom.
Shaun did ask her if she'd been taking her medication and going to therapy, to which she said "yes" and that she sometimes forgets, and he still naively believed her.
The thing that was most concerning to Shaun was that she looked disoriented and completely out of it. He tried to start up a conversation with her, but the only response he got was a blank facial expression or Lea staring off into space. She didn't even touch her food and she looked confused.
However, it was now the first time she said something (without being asked a question) since they arrived at the park.
"Glassman can't be trusted. Glassman can't be trusted. Glassman can't be trusted," she mumbled repeatedly before it turned into begging. "I want to go home. I need to go home! I need to protect Violet because they're going to take her away!"
"Okay, okay," responded Shaun sheepishly, and then he immediately packed everything up and then got Lea to the car to leave.
On the way home, Shaun was afraid that Lea was going to jump out of the car while he was still driving, but instead she just passed out due to a lack of sleep. He stopped to check her vitals, which were stable.
He was freaked out and he didn't know what to do, so he just took her straight home to go ask for advice from Dr. Glassman.
When Shaun and Lea returned home early, that got Dr. Glassman even more worried considering that Lea looked a bit worse and passed out.
Once Shaun placed Lea onto the bed, he immediately locked her in and then put Violet to sleep in her nursery crib in order to keep them separated.
As Shaun and Dr. Glassman sat together on the couch, Dr. Glassman decided to give Shaun some serious advice.
"You should probably take Lea in for a psychiatric evaluation again at the hospital first thing tomorrow," he advised in a serious tone and finally putting his foot down and deciding to intervene. "To be honest, I just realized that I don't think she's taking her medication or even going to therapy. I think she's actually getting worse."
"She is taking her medicine," defended Shaun. "The pill bottles get emptier every day. I just don't think the medicine is working or maybe her therapist is terrible."
"She might be throwing them in the trash or flushing them down the toilet," suggested Dr. Glassman. "Maybe the reason why her therapist is terrible is because she hasn't been seeing one at all. I know you want to think that she's getting better slowly, but I don't think she is. I'm putting her on leave and Diego is going to have to become temporary IT director again."
"She won't be happy that you did that," said Shaun.
"I know," sighed Dr. Glassman. "But she really needs to see a psychiatrist and get reevaluated. I recommend that you let Violet stay with me tonight and keep an eye on Lea for the rest of the night while I book an appointment. It's best if she isn't near the baby."
"Lea would never hurt Violet and neither would I," argued Shaun, feeling a bit hurt at the suggestion that Lea or even he himself was violent towards Violet.
"Not intentionally," exhaled Dr. Glassman. "Don't get me wrong, I think you're both good parents, but given Lea's condition right now, your baby is safer with me. Not all mothers with postpartum psychosis are like Andrea Yates, but it's just protocol to keep them away from their babies. As soon as I get home, I'm calling an ambulance to get here and take Lea to the hospital and into the psychiatric ward. Do you understand?"
"Yes," replied Shaun.
Less than half an hour later, an ambulance arrived for them.
AN: Sorry this chapter is short, rushed, and it sucks, but things are going to get big in the next chapter with a time jump instead of more build-up chapters (which were challenging to write with the postpartum psychosis plot). Please review and share your thoughts :)