Chapter Summary: Lea goes missing.
AN: So, here is Chapter 20 of this story and I hope you enjoy it because things just got even worse and more intense, and Lea is now in a depressive state. You'll also get an update on Dr. Olivia Jackson. Please review :)
It was November 23rd and Lea has already been a patient in St. Bonaventure's psychiatric ward for two weeks and six days. She has been there since the night of her and Shaun's disastrous wedding anniversary dinner.
On the night that Lea was transferred to the hospital in an ambulance while passed out and unconscious, Shaun rode in the back with her so she wouldn't freak out if or when she woke up in a white room surrounded by a bunch of people she didn't know. The paramedic was going to restrain her wrists, but Shaun refused, saying that it would only make things worse for her if she wakes up.
"Just be prepared to sedate her or even keep her sedated!" Shaun yelled back at the paramedic when she brought up the possibility of Lea stabbing her. He believed that strapping her in was enough.
When he was assisting the delivery of one of Kenzie's twins, he was so stressed about wanting to save both babies like she wanted that he forgot about her well-being by suggesting to restrain her during the c-section. He was not happy that he suggested that…but thank goodness for Jordan.
He was even the one who saved Liam, his first autistic patient, from being sedated or held down or even restrained.
Restraints might have made it easier to treat non-compliant patients, but it was kind of unethical and only for the doctor's benefit instead of the patients, only traumatizing them.
Shaun has been visiting her in the psychiatric ward ever since November 5th, sometimes bringing Violet with him…but never leaving her in the room alone with Lea. The staff allowed Lea to pump breast milk for Violet at her request.
Speaking of Violet, she was starting to lift her head at almost 90 degrees a bit (which was higher compared to usual) during tummy time on the activity gym. She was probably going to start rolling over soon. As usual, she wasn't a smiler, and she was getting bigger.
Shaun promised Lea to record Violet performing a milestone if he was able to because she did not like missing milestones.
For Shaun, he was stressed out as he had so much crap on his plate, stressing him out. He worked a hard job with long shifts, he had a three month old baby to take care of, Lea was sick (she was even self-harming), Bitchy Beryl from next door would not stop complaining about Violet's cries, and he was dealing with his own postpartum depression and anxiety while also going to therapy.
In addition, it really hurt him when Lea called him a snitch, a traitor, a tattletale, and a terrible husband for putting her in the psychiatric ward. He reassured himself that it was probably one of her hallucinations and delusions, but it was still hurtful.
At least the building manager and the landlord were giving him exceptions on late rent due to what was going on in his life. Dr. Glassman also put Lea on partially paid medical leave, which made things sort of easier.
Dr. Glassman, Debbie, Claire, Morgan, Dr. Park, and his other colleagues of the surgical department often helped, but he still often found himself stretched way too thin and overwhelmed with everything going on in his life.
During every case he worked on, he was usually quiet and he wasn't coming up with many brilliant ideas as he used to. He was almost reaching his breaking point.
With it being the week of Thanksgiving as well as the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, some of St. Bonaventure's employees had left San Jose for the week or just Thursday and Friday plus the weekend while the majority were celebrating it on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday here in San Jose instead of on this significant Thursday.
Dr. Glassman had already spent Tuesday celebrating Thanksgiving with Debbie and some of his poker friends and their spouses. Park and Morgan were spending it together on the Friday after with Kellan also visiting them for the week. Dr. Lim's mother had died on Sunday, so she was in Taipei for the entire week for her funeral as well as reliving some of her childhood; Dr. Rendón chaperoning with her as they were already moving in together. Olivia had come to visit for the week (she was currently a freshman at UCLA who was working to get a bachelor's in education to become a teacher and working part-time in after-school care), so she was spending the week with Dr. Andrews and his wife. Claire was going to be spending the day with her dad on Saturday. Asher and Jordan had no plans with family whatsoever and were just going to be watching a DVR recording of A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and laughing at it while having some beers and just hanging out in Asher's apartment on their day off on Friday.
As for Shaun and Lea, Donnie and Raul have been spending the week of Thanksgiving in San Jose. They had come to not just visit him and Lea and Violet, but to also help them out with everything because Pam and Mike were already going to visit Mike's elderly parents in Pittsburgh for Thanksgiving (they were going to be visiting for Christmas next month, though). That didn't mean they weren't worried about their daughter, though. They've been calling Shaun all the time since they were informed about Lea's postpartum depression and psychosis.
When it came to Thanksgiving itself, Shaun and Lea never cared that much for it. Since adulthood and entering the workforce, Lea mostly saw it as one of the days she didn't have to work. It wasn't just because of the whitewashed history they learned in elementary school, but also other reasons.
One reason was the waste of so much food that they didn't even look appetizing to eat all in the name of being traditional. Every Thanksgiving as a kid, Shaun would only look forward to the apple pie, and he would only get it if he ate all his disgusting food, and that was torture. Lea's family would throw in the additional Italian-American recipes in their traditions, but even that led to food waste because it would go bad before everyone in the house would be able to finish it.
Another reason Shaun and Lea didn't celebrate Thanksgiving was because if they cooked all that food, their kitchen would be a much bigger mess than it would usually be because of all those dirty dishes and the cleaning of the disgusting leftovers from the pans clogging the sink.
Most of all, the number one reason they hated it was being forced to interact with relatives. As children, Shaun and Steve would have to spend every Thanksgiving at Grandma Eugenia's house, and she was not a sweet old lady…she was pretty nasty. She and their parents would literally not let them leave the table until they finished all of her disgusting Jell-O Salad, which looked like someone ate a bunch of candy and tuna and then threw up (and also made Shaun anxious and gaggy). She and other relatives would also badger Shaun for hugs, which made him very uncomfortable.
For Lea, she and Donnie used to enjoy Thanksgiving family reunions at the family lake house as children…until they were old enough to understand politics and then be forced to listen to nasty, divided political debates between relatives at the dinner table. It actually got pretty ugly on the Thanksgiving after Donnie came out. Lea couldn't even imagine what would have happened if she revealed to the entire dinner table that she had an abortion after her divorce. The Thanksgiving after her divorce was the moment she decided to stop going altogether.
Speaking of Lea, it's been difficult for her being away from Shaun and Violet and not sleeping in her own bed and not using her own bathroom. The staff had been making sure she was taking her medication by literally watching her take them and making sure she wasn't flushing them down the toilet. Unfortunately, the medication didn't seem to be working for her, so they were thinking about switching her medication.
Although there were no knives, scalpels, needles, weapons, or anything sharp enough to prick her skin in her room for safety reasons, she was still self-harming…something new. She was scratching herself with her sharp fingernails hard enough to where blood was drawn. Because of this, she was going to need to have a PCA clip her nails for her every week or whenever they would start getting long.
Shaun just didn't know what to do and he felt so lost and numb. At the hospital and at home, he ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner alone in solitude; refusing to sit with anyone.
Lea has been pumping breast milk for Violet since she had been staying in this damn psych ward, but she was never in the same room with her when she did it as she wasn't allowed to be left alone with her. She wanted to pump breast milk so she would at least be doing something for her daughter, but this whole thing made her feel like a worthless milk machine.
Visits from Shaun (with Violet) and other people at the hospital did sometimes make her feel better, and Donnie and Raul had been visiting her for a week. Unfortunately, that didn't stop the voice from telling her that nobody cared about her and that she didn't deserve to be on the planet.
"Shaun betrayed you by making you come here, where they're forcing drugs down your throat. Be thankful that I taught you the trick in making that bitch nurse think you're actually swallowing the pills." the voice said. "This is proof that he isn't a good husband. Remember, he's a snitch and a tattletale. He wanted Violet all to himself."
Lea didn't say anything as she sat down in a fetal position in the middle of her bed and listened to the voice talk. The staff thought she was taking her medication, but the truth was that she would force the pill under her tongue, swallow her water and saliva, keep her mouth closed until the nurse left, and then spit her pill into the toilet and then flush it to dispose of the evidence.
"Dr. Glassman isn't hiring you back. That was his plan all along because he never wanted to hire you in the first place because you're not the right person for the job," the voice continued. "You have nothing to live for, and you're not a good mother."
"You said I was a good mother weeks ago and that Shaun is the bad parent! And now he's better than me and I'm the failure?" Lea retaliated. "You're confusing me!"
"You're a bad mother," the voice repeated. "Shaun may be a better parent, but he's a terrible husband, so he doesn't deserve you and you don't deserve him because you're also a terrible wife. You should kill yourself, and maybe kill Violet to punish Shaun for sending you here. To be fair, you are a burden to everybody."
Lea thought about it. She couldn't bear killing her daughter. Maybe it would free her from a possible life of suffering or even prevent her from being taken away, but Lea didn't have the guts to murder a child or another person or animal; because if she lived and survived her murder-suicide attempt, she'd have to go to prison, and she didn't want to go there.
But maybe, if she took her own life, Shaun and Violet would be free from her, and nobody would have to deal with her. Nobody cared about her anyway. She loved Violet, but Violet was never going to love her.
It was 10:00 in the evening when Shaun was eating his dinner of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white bread and a glass of milk all alone. The hospital cafeteria was all out of Granny Smith apples, so he wasn't having an apple with his meal. He also wanted to have pancakes, but the cafeteria only served them from 4:00 am to 12:00 pm.
His shift was over at 11:00 pm, so he was going to eat before he would leave and then go home to Violet, where she was being cared for by Donnie and Raul, who had picked her up from daycare four hours earlier. The daycare was also closed tomorrow because Thanksgiving was a federal holiday, but Shaun also had a shift tomorrow, so Violet was going to be spending the day with her uncles.
"Mind if I sit with you?" A kindly voice asked from behind him, which turned out to be Claire.
"No," replied Shaun, moving his backpack off the chair and then next to the chair he was sitting in to make room for his colleague. Her shift was also over at 11:00, so she was probably eating dinner here as well. She was having a caesar salad with iced tea.
There was a silence between the two (with Claire looking at him with a bit of pity) until Claire finally broke the silence by asking Shaun about his wife.
"So, how is Lea doing?"
"She's not getting better," conceded Shaun, somberly staring down at his food. "The medication doesn't seem to be doing anything, so they're thinking of switching her to benzodiazepines. She's no longer in a manic state. She's back to a depressive state. Also, the cafeteria doesn't have the apples I want."
Claire just didn't know what to say to her friend. He was going through too much right now that he was probably reaching his breaking point.
She thought it would be too much and too extreme to compare Lea's situation to her mother (she probably must have had PPD in hindsight) or even the most extreme cases of postpartum mental illness that involved infanticide, but what Shaun was going through almost reminded her too much of her childhood.
When her mother died in a drunk driving accident, she stopped believing in people and thinking that nobody could change. She has been drifting away from that idea, with things getting even more serious between her and her current boyfriend. She really liked Jose, who was also helping her with everything and was a great support.
With Lea's case, she was starting to fear that Lea was going to be like this forever and hoping she wasn't secretly flushing her pills down the toilet again. Maybe if she was also admitted as an inpatient psychiatric patient the first time Shaun brought her here instead of just prescribed medication, she would probably be getting better quicker.
She also couldn't help but think about Andrea Yates, one of the most infamous, extreme, and darkest cases of postpartum depression and psychosis…and unfortunately the only case the public seems to know about, which also contributes to the stigma and misconceptions attached to postpartum mental illness. It's also why many parents who suffer from it can be scared and ashamed to seek help…while also fearful that a diagnosis will lead to them losing custody of their children.
The fact that Shaun already had an ASD diagnosis and his fear of it being used against him was one reason he was afraid to seek help. There were still a few medical professionals that denied that it could happen in males, so a fear of being denied a diagnosis also could be a factor that played a role in Shaun being afraid.
Claire thought it was so unfair that the prenatal/postpartum mental illness monster had to pick on both Shaun and Lea.
Suddenly, she and Shaun were interrupted by an urgent announcement over the PA.
"Attention, we have a code green in the psychiatric ward. The patient is a 29-year-old caucasian female with brown hair and hazel eyes."
"That must be Lea!" Shaun immediately jumped up to run over towards the psychiatric ward, Claire following along.
When Shaun and Claire arrived at Lea's room to the psychiatric ward, hospital security, police, employees of the psych ward, the psych department, detectives and investigators, Dr. Park, and Dr. Glassman were already there.
Evidence had shown that Lea had escaped through the window, considering that the window in her room that leads to the outside world was wide enough to where she could slide her whole body through. There was a jigsaw puzzle on her bed table waiting to be put together.
There was also a statement from a patient and a doctor claiming that they saw a young woman fall to the ground from outside their window.
In addition, there was also a letter she had written for Violet placed in the middle of the bed. He wanted to read it, but it was now going to become evidence he was not going to get back.
As soon as Shaun noticed the open window, he angrily started to lecture the staff of the psychiatric ward about how they screwed up.
"This wouldn't have happened if you locked the windows!" He lashed out. "This wouldn't have happened if the windows weren't able to be opened! Windows shouldn't be like that for patients who are in psychosis! You guys are incompetent for not locking the window shut! You should be fired!"
"I thought the window was locked!" The psychiatric nurse defended.
"Dr. Murphy! Calm down," the head of the psychiatric department put his hand out towards Shaun, signaling for him to not come towards the nurse even though he had no intention of physically attacking her.
Park and Dr. Glassman were ready to pull Shaun away in case he would be on the verge of having a meltdown, which was pretty likely.
"Shaun, they're still investigating," said Park. "Stay out of the room and let them do their work."
Immediately, one of the hospital security guards came in to provide some new evidence.
"We just found video footage of a figure perfectly matching the description of your missing patient leaving the hospital premises and also climbing out the window of what appears to be this room. She appears to be limping. Was the patient wearing a black kimono robe with some kind of floral print on it?"
"Yes, she was the last time I checked on her," the nurse replied.
That was definitely Lea because Shaun knew that he had packed her black floral kimono robe for her stay here.
"People should have noticed and should have recognized her!" Shaun fumed. "She's the IT director! Now she is missing, confused, and probably has a fractured bone with internal bleeding!"
Dr. Glassman then noticed that Shaun's face was turning red and that he was aggressively ruffling his hair…meaning that a meltdown was happening. Park and Claire noticed it, too. They really needed to get him out of here for a while and calm him down before he started smacking the sides of his head.
Park led him to a nearby break room to have a talk with him, letting him calm down and let out his emotions before talking to him.
Once Shaun was finally calm and ready to listen, he sat down on the sofa and then let Park explain what was going to happen as he sat next to him.
For Park, this wasn't his first time dealing with the loved one of a missing person or a murder victim. He's had plenty of those during his experience in the Phoenix Police Department.
"I understand that it's pretty scary to know that someone you love is missing, but you need to listen to me. Here is what is going to happen," explained Park. "They are already filing a missing person report at the police station, and I suggest you contact her family after we're done talking. Do you understand?"
Shaun nodded. "Yes."
"The police are going to want to talk to you, so just answer honestly, especially the personal questions. Remember, I was a cop before, and I know how the system works. I can help you out with the questions that can be hard for you to answer. I also asked the detective not to make it sound like she's interrogating you and also to accommodate you. I'm also friends with someone from the SJPD. We went to college together. Also, you don't need to inform her about your arrest since charges weren't pressed against you."
Shaun had now found himself in the hospital cafeteria answering questions from Det. Ellen Remington. He had already informed Donnie that Lea was missing, and he was already calling their parents about it.
"Dr. Murphy, I can tell that this is a really hard and stressful thing that you're going through right now," sympathized Det. Remington. "But, I need you to answer these questions honestly. Do you understand?"
"Yes," replied Shaun, rubbing his hands together and tapping his foot on the floor.
"First, can you state your full name and your relation to the missing person?"
"Shaun Robert Murphy. I'm her husband."
"What is your date of birth and where were you born?"
"March 15th, 1992 in Casper, Wyoming."
"Thank you. Can you tell me Lea's full name, her date of birth, and also her place of birth?"
"Lea Abigail Dilallo. January 3rd, 1993 in Hershey, Pennsylvania."
"I was informed that you and Lea have a daughter. Can you tell me her name, date of birth, and where she is right now?"
"Violet Eva Dilallo-Murphy. August 7th, 2022 here in San Jose at this hospital. She is home at our apartment with Lea's brother and his boyfriend. They're visiting us for the week."
"Where and when was the last time you saw your wife? Can you also describe what happened?"
"The last time I saw her, I was visiting her here in her room at 6:23 pm. I told her how Violet was doing and everything that was going on. I told her that I loved her and that I missed her. Lea looked like she had not slept a lot and she had scratches that she caused herself on her arms and legs. She said that she missed Violet and then she called me a snitch, a traitor, a tattletale, and a terrible husband for putting her in the psychiatric ward, which was hurtful…even though it was for her own good and it was just her delusions and hallucinations talking to her," explained Shaun.
"Other than the recent diagnoses of postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis, does Lea have a history of mental illness or substance abuse? What about her family?"
"Her brother is a recovering alcoholic, but he is getting better. She has no diagnoses of mental illness in her or her family that I know of. I don't consider autism spectrum disorder as a mental illness, but many people do, so I'll have to say that I'm autistic since I'm her husband. I also have paternal depression, both prenatal and postpartum. Lea did go through depression during her pregnancy with Violet. After we lost our first baby, she did spiral into a deep depression for a while."
"Is Lea on any medication? Has she taken any medication in the past?"
"She is on Zoloft and Zyprexa, but they were thinking of putting her on benzodiazepines. She has a history of pretending that she is taking them when she was really flushing them down the toilet. I think her delusions told her that the pills were evil. The nurse did make sure she took her medication, but I think you should check the toilet in her restroom and her entire room to make sure she isn't hiding her pills and being clever. Her mother also has a lot of prescriptions, but she kind of has a prescription drug abuse problem and some of her medication aren't actual prescriptions."
"Do you know if your mother-in-law ever overdosed before or had some kind of episode?"
"Not that I know of."
"Did Lea have anything difficult or traumatic happen to her throughout her life or even close to her pregnancy with Violet? That can sometimes be a factor that can lead to postpartum mental illness."
"She said her parents were kind of judgy towards her and hated everyone she dated. She got married when she was 18, but then got divorced pretty quickly. She also had an abortion after that. Her relationship with her brother was strained for a few years after they had a big fight over their grandfather's auto shop. Our first daughter together was stillborn at 22 weeks a year before we had Violet. When she was pregnant with Violet, her brother was arrested for DUIs and overdosed on alcohol."
"What was Lea's pregnancy with Violet like?"
"It was difficult…even more so than the one with our first baby, Eleanor, even though that one ended with vasa previa and blood clots. With Violet, Lea had hyperemesis gravidarum and gestational diabetes."
"What is your relationship with Lea like? You know, before postpartum depression and psychosis?"
"It was good. People say we complemented each other."
"Any possibility of her carrying any possessions? Jewelry, glasses, contact lenses, accessories, purse, wallet?"
"No, but maybe some grey slippers."
"Does she have any scars or tattoos?"
"She has a tattoo of a mountain on her wrist. She might also have some scratches on her body because she's been self-harming."
"Are there any places she likes to frequent a lot?"
"Before she got pregnant, she often liked to go to the brewery. But she mostly just frequents the hospital or our apartment."
"Does she drive any vehicle? If so, can you describe what it looks like?"
"It's a vintage car that is a replica of the Gran Torino from Starsky and Hutch."
"I think that's all the questions I need to ask you," sighed Det. Remington, pulling out a letter that seemed to be written in handwriting that perfectly matched Lea's. "Anyway, I think you should read this letter she wrote and take a picture of it before I declare it evidence. It might have clues to where your wife is, but it could also be a suicide note or something."
Shaun grabbed the letter as it was transferred to him and began to read it.
Dear Shaun and Violet,
Violet, I'm telling you that Mommy really loves you, but you need to know this because I'll be dead by the time you read this. You might miss me, but it's for your own good because I've failed as your mother and I will continue to fail you as your mother the more you grow. Be a good girl for your daddy.
Shaun, I forgive you for putting me in the psych ward. I know you're just trying to help, but the voices will never leave me alone and I just can't take the medication. I will be nothing but a burden to you for the rest of our lives.
Violet, I'm sorry for ever thinking about hurting and killing you. I never wanted to act on it, but the horrible thoughts would never go away. I love you, peanut.
Shaunie, I'm sorry I called you a snitch, a tattletale, a traitor, and a shitty husband. Most of all, I'm sorry for being such a burden to you. It's my fault.
But I agree with the voices. You're both better off without me.
Eleanor is waiting for me.
I love you both.
Love, Lea and Mommy depending on who is reading this
Shaun was even more scared than ever, especially the words "Eleanor is waiting for me". Could that mean she was going to kill herself?
Shaun and Violet were staying with Dr. Glassman and Debbie for the night (and Shaun was also going to be given a few days off) because the police were going to check their apartment to see if Lea had gone there or at least stopped by.
However, there was no evidence of that as the striped tomato was still there, parked in the same location where it always was since Lea was admitted. The missing person report had been spread throughout San Jose and Santa Clara County and there were going to be a lot more investigations whether they find her body or not - dead or alive. Another important detail was that there was hard evidence of Lea continuing to spit out her pills and flush them down the toilet…since the toilet pipes near the restroom in Lea's room were starting to get clogged, and investigators discovered pills from that toilet that perfectly matched the description of Zoloft and Zyprexa. She must have been pretending to swallow them.
Dr. Glassman just stared at Shaun, who was curled up in a fetal position on the living room couch and sweating while wrapped up in a blanket, shaking. He was just lying there awake and staring off into space, watching the Weather Channel on the TV. A glass of orange juice made for him was sitting on the coffee table.
Violet was fast asleep in the pack 'n' play next to the couch. Dr. Duckling and the blanket Debbie knitted were lying on Shaun's legs over the blanket.
This whole situation reminded him too much of the night that Maddie died; the only difference between that incident and this one was that he had thrown Maddie out of the house, dragging her outside and locking the door. He immediately regretted it when he received a call from the police to inform him that they found her body. Lea, on the other hand, ran away.
He was dreading the call he and Shaun were going to receive from the police about Lea. Odds were, she wasn't going to be found alive because the note she wrote to Shaun and Violet indicated that she was going to attempt suicide. She probably must have already done it at this point.
Poor Shaun already went through too much throughout his life.
He was bullied in school for being different by both his classmates and teachers. His father was abusive towards him and his mother did nothing to protect him. His father ripped his pet rabbit out of his arms and then threw her against the wall, killing her. He and Steve ran away from home and lived in a bus. He watched Steve die violently right in front of his eyes. He went through so many foster homes before Aaron decided to finally take him in for good. It took a lot of convincing to get St. Bonaventure to hire Shaun and also reinstate him after Dr. Han. He and Lea were so excited to have a baby, and then they ended up losing her to complications. They conceived again and were able to have a healthy baby girl, but dealt with prenatal depression and anxiety. They also dealt with postpartum depression; Lea even having postpartum psychosis.
And now, Lea was missing and probably dead. He was probably going to end up as a single father.
Donnie and his boyfriend were also here at Dr. Glassman's house because the man was gravely worried for his sister. He also wanted to check in on his niece and brother-in-law.
"Our parents are catching the earliest flight from Pittsburgh to San Jose that they could. They're in the air right now," sighed Donnie as he walked up next to Aaron. "When I called to tell them and told them what happened, Mom sounded very hysterical. I could hear her hyperventilating on the other line."
"I don't blame her," exhaled Aaron. "Getting a call telling you that your child is missing or dead is a call no parent ever wants to ever get."
Meanwhile, on the couch, Shaun could not stop thinking about the worst things that could have happened to Lea or could happen to her. Security footage showed her limping, so she must have broken her leg when she climbed out the window. She could be wandering around in need of urgent medical care or dead after a suicide attempt.
He already felt so much defeat. Lea was already dead. He was glad he still had Violet, but he didn't want to raise her without Lea.
Morgan, Alex, and Kellan were still wide awake. Kellan was sitting on the couch watching TV, avoiding the news because he did not want to hear anything about Shaun's missing wife right now. Alex and Morgan were sitting at the dining room table, staring off into space. All three of them were drinking hot chocolate.
Alex remembered his work as a cop very well and how the system worked when it came to searching for a missing person. This was the first time that the missing person was somebody he knew, and this was happening when he wasn't even a cop anymore. If Lea isn't found within 72 hours, it was going to turn into the recovery of a dead body. It had been five hours since she was reported missing, so now it was down to being 67 hours left until the SJPD would probably be searching for a dead body. The more hours that passed since the person went missing decreased the chances of finding them.
By a strange coincidence, Kellan was also working on an essay about postpartum depression and/or psychosis and the stigma behind it for his college psychology class. He did a lot of research and even briefly mentioned the most severe cases that involved infanticide and/or filicide - like Andrea Yates, Kimberlynn Bolanos, and Kelly Silk - and how those stories are usually the first things people might think of when they hear postpartum psychosis and how they also contribute to the stigma surrounding it. Not every mother with postpartum mental illness drowns their children in the bathtub, stabs their baby multiple times, or sets their house on fire to kill their entire family and themselves after stabbing them and pouring gasoline on them like the mothers he mentioned in the paragraph did. The main point of his essay was that it needed to be destigmatized. As for the mothers he mentioned, maybe those children would still be alive today if their moms got the proper help.
"It's not fair," vented Kellan, breaking the silence. "Society cares more about the well-being of the fetus or the baby and they forget about the parents. It's like they expect them to be martyrs for everything and sacrifice their entire self-worth for their children."
"I agree with you, buddy," sighed Alex. "Some sacrifices do need to be made when you become a parent as your child is a commitment, but that doesn't mean forget about yourself and be selfless for everything."
Morgan nodded in agreement.
"Nobody seems to care about bringing awareness to postpartum mental illness unless it involves infanticide or filicide, and that is why so many parents who suffer from it are afraid to seek help," Kellan continued. "Yet, those mothers are seen as heartless monsters while neurotypical parents who murder their autistic children gain a lot of sympathy while the autistic victims have none."
Morgan and Alex agreed with Kellan. It was a double standard. Parents with mental illness or disabilities who snap and kill their neurotypical and able-bodied children are seen as monsters who shouldn't be allowed to have children and should get sterilized while neurotypical and able-bodied parents who snap and kill their disabled children are seen as saints who just didn't get what they signed up for.
"You're right," said Morgan. "It's inhumane and messed up."
Alex knew that Shaun was going to need a lot of help and counseling, and Lea was also going to need it if she was found alive. They were good parents, but they needed a lot of help.
AN: I hope you all enjoyed it. About the part with Shaun refusing to have Lea restrained, I did not like Shaun saying that the patient needed to be restrained in 4x04 because I think that might have been a little out of character for him. Please review and share your thoughts.