Chapter 58

(Madge POV)

"What?" I whisper, not even sure if sound is coming out of my mouth.

He lets out a long sigh as he runs his finger around the ring on the desk. "I was the guy your mother was secretly with. I'm the guy in those pictures with her. I'm your biological father."

I stare at him, desperately trying to take it all in.

"Not quite what you expected to find out today, huh?" He says, letting out a nervous huff.

"I never knew. Never even suspected it." I tell him.

"Well, that was the agreement your mother and I made. It would've brought a whole slew of problems if the Capitol had found out so our safest bet was to never tell anyone."

"So no one even knew you two dated?"

He shakes his head, pauses a moment, then answers. "No, in the beginning plenty of people knew. We were always together, down in the Seam. But that when we were just kids. Before her matching. Before my games. No one knew it was serious. Not sure anyone in town really knew and if they did, they probably thought she was just sewing wild oats before getting matched."

"But it never ended? You were always together?" I ask, my mind trying to grasp all of this stunning information.

"We were always something. Not sure together is the word for it. The plan had been to break up when she got matched but when it came down to it, neither of us wanted to. She hated your father. Couldn't stand the guy. But you know how that goes when it comes to matchings, you don't get a say in it, you just shut up and take what they give you." He shakes his head, staring off as he recalls the details of their time together. "Anyway, she had this bright idea that we would get married. We both knew it wouldn't be Capitol approved but she said she wanted to pledge her life to me before the Capitol made her pledge it to your father. So we did. I made us these dinky little rings and we had a private ceremony, just the two of us, out in the woods. God, she looked beautiful that day." He blinks and then quickly rubs his hands over his face. I'm pretty sure I caught a glimpse of tears brimming his eyes.

"You went into the woods with my mother?" I ask, surprised to hear she dared to cross the fence.

He laughs now. "You think your guy is the only one who ever crossed that fence?"

I smile. "So then what happened?"

"Right after we had our little marriage ceremony, the reaping happened and well, as you know, my number was called up. We both thought that was the end of us."

"But it wasn't because you actually made it back!" I interject, imagining how happy my mother would've been to have him win those games.

"Turns out having someone you love back home is pretty damn good fuel for making you fight to stay alive. I had to get back for her, couldn't let it all end like that. Couldn't let her watch me die. So I won and I came home. She was there waiting for me. In secret of course. She was days away from marrying your father and normally it would've been suspicious for her to be seen with some guy from the Seam at that point but me being a victor gave us plenty of excuses for interacting. She pretended to be friends with me because I was the districts very first victor and played up that a bunch and I pretended that's what it was too. She'd come over to the village, to my new house and no one thought a thing about it. It was great."

"But then she had to marry my father?"

He pauses again and turns his head, staring away from me for a moment. "She did."

"I'm sorry you had to watch her do that." I tell him, my mind thinking back to when I thought Gale was going to have to watch me marry Drew.

He shrugs. "Not gonna lie, it wasn't my best day. But her heart was always mine, even if she had to pretend it belonged to someone else. And I never so much as even glanced in another woman's direction. For me, it was always just Maggie that I had eyes for. We kept up the facade of us being friends and she'd sneak away to see me every chance she got."

"Did my father ever know?" I ask.

"He had his suspicions. They fought sometimes about us being friends. Ultimately though she was always able to convince him nothing was happening."

"Did he know he wasn't really my father?" I ask, needing to know everything he can tell me.

He lets out a sound I can't even describe and then inhales deeply as he shakes his head. "No darlin, he never knew that part. Never even suspected it. You were obviously not something we'd planned on but we were young and in love and not exactly good at thinking beyond the moment. And when your mom discovered she was pregnant with you, we knew we had to go to our deathbeds lying about who you really belonged to. It would've been the end of all of us if the truth had ever gotten out."

I pause a moment, unsure of how to ask the question at the forefront of my mind. "Um, how did...I mean, were you guys sure..." I mumble, my words not forming the way I need them to.

He laughs again. "You trying to ask how we knew you were mine and not your father's if she was with both of us?"

I nod, cheeks blushing in embarrassment.

"She rarely let him kiss her much less touch her in the beginning of their marriage. They were young and she played it off as nervousness and wanting to get to know him better before things developed in that way for them. He hated it of course but she had a way of persuading people to do what she wanted and he complied. Which meant there was a small window of time when I would've been the only option. But when she found out about you, she knew she had to change that so she pretended that she was interested and finally let things progress between them. A month later they announced to the district that they were expecting you." He tells me, his jaw tight and I can tell he hates that she had to do that.

"That must have been incredibly hard for both of you." I say quietly, my mind imagining how that would've been for Gale and I.

"Wasn't easy, but it was harder for her I'm sure. Anyway, you were born thankfully a good 2 weeks late from when you really should've arrived which helped keep our secret. She was so happy to have you though. The whole time she was pregnant she kept saying she wanted a little girl. It's all she talked about. She had such big plans for you, such big plans." His voice drifts off a little at the end there.

"And you two still kept seeing each other after I was born? She was still able to sneak away?"

"Not nearly as often, but yeah, she came to me when she could. Brought you with her when she could so I could see you. Sometimes she'd have visitors in town and would invite me over to join them all for dinner just so I could see you. But then she got sick and it got much harder to see her or you. Your father was keen on keeping me away and her being sick was a valid enough excuse to keep her from having visitors. I only saw her a handful of times those last couple years. And once she was gone, I didn't have any real excuse to see you, not without making your father suspicious anyway and I didn't want to risk 't risk that. So I let myself fade away into the background and watched you growing up from afar."

"I don't know how you did that. I don't think I could've watched someone else raising my child." I say, knowing it must have been heartbreaking.

"Found some solace in liquor. Spent a lot of time alone and out of sight."

Huh. I'd always assumed his drinking was due to what he went through in the games. Never would've imagined it was due to heartbreak over the loss of my mother and of watching me grow up without him. "I always thought you were that way because of the games."

"Oh the games haunt me too but not nearly as much as the loss of Maggie and the anger of having to watch that jackass of a man raise you."

"Would you ever have told me? If things hadn't happened the way that they did in 12 with the bombings and all, do you think you would've ever told me all of this?"

"No. I would've carried it to the grave. Maggie always said she'd be the one to explain to you. I figured that would be what was inside that box she sent here for you. Wouldn't have been any reason to tip your world upside down if you were still back in 12. I was tempted once though to tell you to run. To tell you about 13 and to try to find a way to get you here."

My mouth falls open and I stare at him. "When? And why didn't you?"

"Didn't get the chance. Everything fell apart in 12 right there after. It was when I saw you at that party in the Capitol. You looked a hot mess. Pink eyes and all that atrociousness. Knew your mother would've hated seeing you turned into something so Capitol. That guy you were matched up with seemed to be working real hard to change you and I didn't like that. Didn't trust that. I told myself that after the games, if he was still pushing you into that sort of stuff that I'd talk to you, try to get you out. Wasn't sure if I could. But I was considering trying. Wasn't sure if you'd listen to me or not though. But then they bombed the district and said you were dead and threw me in their little prison." He explains and I remember how he had spoken almost ominously to me at that party, warning me not to let them change me too much.

"I would've listened to you. If you'd tried to get me to run away, I would have. I'd been secretly dreaming of it for years."

"I see that now. Gotta tell ya, it took a heavy hurting off my heart when you walked into that processing room the other day and I saw you weren't actually dead.I'd been feeling like I'd completely failed you and Maggie by leaving you there. I knew things were tense with the games but I never thought they'd end like they did and when I found out what they did to 12, well, I carried a load of guilt for not getting you out sooner, for not getting you out years before you were even matched. I knew Maggie wanted you to end up in 13 and I should've gotten you here years ago."

I grin. "I'm sure you would've if the right time had ever presented itself. You couldn't have known what was going to happen with the bombings. Thankfully, I had a secret boyfriend in the Seam who got me out."

He laughs and shakes his head. "Your mother would be giddy beyond belief that you were dating Hawthorne. She would've loved it."

Now I'm grinning from ear to ear. "That makes me so happy. I have so few memories of her and know so little about her, well, before everything I learned today anyway."

"Well I've got nothing but memories of her so feel free to ask about her whenever you want. She was my whole world for a very long time and I know she'd want me to tell you all about her every chance I got."

"I like that I'll be able to get to know who she was. My father didn't like me to ask about her."

"Doesn't surprise me. He never really cared about her. His purpose and goal in life was to make the Capitol happy, nothing else. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry you had to grow up with that awful man."

I give him a half smile and shrug. "A whole lot of good it did him in the end."

"Ain't that the truth." He replies, again looking down at the picture on the desk.

"You keep that one. I have others." I tell him.

"Oh, no, she left it to you. I can't." He says quickly as he pushes it towards me.

"You will." I insist as I slide it back towards him.

"She'd be so proud of you, through and through."

"She'd be proud of you too I bet. And I bet she'd be pretty happy that we both ended up here, together and safe."

"That she would, that she would."

(Gale POV)

When I get home from work I find Madge sitting on her bed, staring at pictures, tears staining her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Oh, nothing's wrong. In fact, for once, everything feels right."

"Then what's going on?" I ask, taking a seat next to her, wiping a tear from her cheek.

"I got a box today. Something my mother sent here for me before she died, just in case I ever made it here. Look, wasn't she beautiful?" I say, holding up one of the pictures.

I take it and look at it. "She's beautiful for sure. Definetly where you get your looks from." I say as I look over the picture of Madge's mother, pregnant in a red sundress, smiling.

"And she gave me this letter." She says as she hands me a letter on monogramed stationary. I take it and read silently while she watches me.

"Is this for real?" I ask after I finish reading it. "Is your father really not your father?" I ask, stunned at what she just shared.

"It's for real. And guess who my real father is?"

I stare at her and shrug, waiting for her to tell me, no idea who it could be.

"It's Haymitch."

My mouth falls open in disbelief. "No way!" I exclaim. "Haymitch?"

She nods, laughing as tears still fall down her cheeks. "Haymitch." She repeats.

I sit back and stare at her, not even knowing how to take this all in.

"She left me her wedding ring. The one from her marriage to Haymitch." She holds out a handmade ring. Simple but pretty. "I spent some time talking about all this with Haymitch today and he told me they got married out in the woods. They used to cross the fence together!"

"Really?" I comment as I try to picture Haymitch out in the woods.

"Yep. He still loves her too. You should've seen him getting choked up as he talked about her."

"Was it awkward? Talking to him knowing he's really your dad?"

"Only a little. It actually feels pretty amazing. I have family now. Family that knows all about who my mother really was. It's something I never thought I would have."

I reach out and pull her into a hug. I haven't seen her this emotional about her family before and I'm glad she's found something she never really had. Haymitch isn't someone I can really picture as a father figure but if she's happy, I'm happy for her. And apparently there's a whole lot about the guy that I don't know. I have a feeling I'll be learning quite a bit about him now though.

She shows me the other photos that were in the box and I can't help but stare at the one of her at a bonfire party. I bring it closer to my face and squint my eyes, trying to see it more clearly. It's a little faded but I'm almost certain I'm seeing what I think I'm seeing. I think I know who the girl is that's laughing with Madge's mother at the party. I think that girl is my mother.