They were three beers deep already (six if you added them up) yet it was hardly 2300. Wedge had shed the shirt of his khakis upon entering his new apartment that and was now wearing nothing but a white t-shirt over his chest. His pants were still on, but the buckle hung undone over his belly. His scuffed boots crossed at the ankles on the drink table among the empty bottles and half-eaten Sheppard's pie.

Luke was in no better condition. He leaned hard against the far armrest of the new sepia couch with half his face in a palm. Only one eye watched the vid, trying to care about this sports game where the rules didn't make any sense and the players didn't seem to follow them anyway. Luke was still fully clothed though, and still wearing a blue jacket over his tan civvies because Wedge's place was always uncomfortably cold.

The evening began with bittersweet smiles and a manly hug, but the hug paused in place while the two silently lamented on visions of Han, Lando, Crix. . . .

Reeikan, Dodonna, Teak. . . .

Biggs. Hobbie. Dak. . . .

"But we won," Luke tried to point out.

Wedge attempted a smile and a nod. It didn't feel like they won.

That's when the first beers popped open and glass tinked in respectful memory of the fallen. There was an attempt at small talk, but it kept falling flat. 'How's Division One?' only brought a swell of survivor's guilt in Wedge's chest. 'How's the Academy coming along?' only make Luke pinched his mouth with overwhelmed frustration. The evening devolved into a feint repeat of that last night they were momentary roommates on Yavin 4, sitting side by side in silence to watch the newsnets after the celebration party, when Wedge choked on apologies for leaving Luke's wing in that trench, and Luke's stomach went tight to realize how many thousands of people he'd just killed with a single shot.

It was a safe bet that Wedge was only person in the galaxy who knew it - Luke felt like he had committed the same crime as the guy who fired the fatal shot on Alderaan.

Nowadays, Wedge understood how he felt.

Luke blinked slowly and focused to find one last sip in his bottle. He tipped back his head to suck it down and leaned over to slap the empty on the table with a thump.

Wedge eyed the bottle, then he eyed him.

Luke dropped back into the couch and curled his head into his arms on the armrest to go to sleep.

But Wedge sat up with energy, glugged down the last swig of his beer, and landed it on the table with a thud of his own, but then he reached over to the cooler beside the table and yanked out two more.

Luke heard the pop-hiss of new bottles and groaned. "No. No more. I'm done."

"Untrue, Red Five. You are just getting started." Wedge tossed the opener onto the table and snapped the cap across the room with his fingers. He reached over to slap the cold wet bottle against Luke's arm.

Luke didn't react; the jacket sleeve protected him, so Wedge leaned to reach further and pressed the ice cold brew against his face.

Luke sat up with a sudden yank.

"Drink it or I'm going to pour it on you."

The other man stretched a mouth of annoyance but took the bottle. He settled back against the couch with a sigh. "Why?"

"So you'll tell me what you're doing here," Wedge said simply. His eyes were on the vid, but he wasn't really watching it.

"I told you," Luke whined, "Yana's over for the night. I left so they could have girl time together."

"Yeah. Uh hunh. Sure," Wedge swigged. "Bullshit."

Luke dropped his droopy head against the back of the couch. "What d'you want me to say?"

"Well," Wedge turned off the vid and tossed the remote onto the drink table. "I suppose it's one of three things. One: you're here to try to hook Yana and me up. Two: you're here because something's gone wrong between you and Kess. Or Three: you're here because you realized I'm the last living friend you've got."

Luke blinked at the blank vid but didn't see it.

Wedge watched him. "Maybe all three."

Luke angled his head and groaned. "Nothing's wrong with me and Kess. I am not trying to hook you two up. I want you to. But I'm not trying t-" He was drunk enough to forget his words, "I know you don't need a wingman for that."

Wedge shrugged an eyebrow and swigged again, licking his lips with consideration.

"But you are the last living friend I've got, and maybe... maybe I'm just realizing how important that is." Luke eyed over with a stretched mouth of admission. "I find myself wishing I'd done this kind of thing with Han and Lando more often. So maybe I'm just grabbing the opportunity while you're still around too."

Wedge rolled his head on his neck and set one boot on the edge of the table with a grin. "Remember that night we all got drunk in the ready room on Echo Base? Lando wasn't there yet, but Han was."

Luke smiled big to remember it. "He was drinking like a bamboo stalk that night."

"Well, it was supposed to be the man's going away party." Wedge noted. "He had a right."

Luke shook his head against the back of the couch, his grin still shining to remember how Leia practically pulled a blaster and shot the man off for leaving the rebellion just because of some death mark (as if there wasn't a death mark on Han's head the whole time already.) "That's not why he was drinking."

Wedge didn't need an explanation. He just grinned at the memories.

"You're right about one thing, though." Luke shifted sideways on the couch to face him and leaned his arm heavily on the back of it. At least this topic didn't have to do with the war. "I have been 'ordered' to ask you why the blast you haven't commed Yana yet."

Heavy grinning eyes slid over. "Do you ever swear?"

Luke jerked his head back, but smiled bashfully. "When it's appropriate." He swigged his bottle, eyes lightening now. "Quit changing the subject."

The other man chuckled and challenged back. "Well, why hasn't she commed me yet?"

"Maybe because she can't talk yet?"

And exhale escaped Wedge's chest. "It's permanent?"

"There's talk of a neuro-prosthetic. Kess is going to see if she can talk Yana into learning sign language. But, yeah, it's permanent."

The other man dropped his head against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling.

"I'm sure she could use some morale support," Luke nudged.

"I don't want to intrude." Wedge murmured. "I don't want to assume. Or 'chase'. Or 'press'. Not this time... Not with her."

Luke angled his head, grinning inwardly that the great Wedge Antilles was finally sounding like he was ready to settle down. "For the record, I'm not trying to hook you guys up just because you're my best friend and she's hers."

Wedge squinted over. "You and I both knew Yana long before either of us met Kess."

"Yeah, but you didn't go after her."

"It was different then," Wedge groaned and sat up more on the couch. "Plus everybody knew she didn't like pilots."

"But that was Mintalo's fault."

"He wasn't the only one with that habit." Wedge swigged his bottle and admitted it. "I was guilty of it a time or two."

Luke chuckled deeply. "I still haven't heard the story about Kayla."

Wedge smirked anew and winced into his fingers with a groan. "Let's just say there was never a misunderstanding between me and Kayla." He grinned at the memory and lifted his brows. "And Hoth was fucking cold."

Luke laughed hard.

Beers tipped. Sighs released. Eyes floated away with memory.

"So what makes Yana so different?"

Wedge dropped his head back against the couch. Luke watched his eyes stare at the ceiling for a long time. Wedge slowly shook his head, his mouth parted as if the buzz was sinking into his brain, or the emotion soaking into his soul, or something. . . .

"The first time I saw her," Wedge muttered. "I remember the first time I saw her. We'd just got orders and we had to go through Echo's CIC bunker to get to the snow speeders. Rieekan was yelling at everyone to get to that first transport. And she was still at her post, standing over the terminal, typing so fast her fingers were blurry. 'Just a minute,' she kept saying, 'Just a minute. . . .' She couldn't pull herself away from uploading recon numbers to our HUDs. She wouldn't save herself on the hope that her data might save one of us. Rieekan had to shove on the shoulder to make her go. . . ." He rolled his head as if to look at Luke, but his eyes didn't quite make it. "That's when it really glued together for me, y'know? We get all the damn medals, us pilots but. . . . we'd be exploding debris if it weren't for the data admins. We'd be floating away in an infinite flat spin if it weren't for the grease monkeys..." His words trailed off.

Luke grinned sadly with similar thoughts, understanding now how much it killed Wedge to survive when he couldn't save the lives of the entire Rogue Group repair crew. Luke lifted his bottle to the air. "To the crew."

Brown eyes flicked over, but he nodded, tried to grin, and clicked his bottle against Luke's.

"We'd be dead if it weren't for support," Luke summarized.

A black eyebrow lifted in heartfelt agreement.

"So why aren't you getting some?" Luke challenged.

Brows knitted. Eyes shifted. "What do you mean?"

Luke laid the truth down like a hand of cards. "You are suffering survivor's guilt of infinite proportions, Red Three." If you're going to talk to me like that, I'm going to talk to you like that. "And you're avoiding the very support you need to get through it."

Wedge's face wrinkled more. "What are you talking about?"

Luke spread a hand. "You can't get through all this crap unless you talk to someone about it."

Wedge flopped his hands out and hiked to a yell, "Isn't that what we're doing?!"

Luke rolled his head on his neck and whined. "Not with me, you idiot."

Wedge rolled his eyes. "I've never even shared a meal with the woman. I'm not going to show up on her doorstep to cry on her shoulder."

"It doesn't have to be like that."

"I don't need a wingman for this, Luke."

The Jedi chortled, "Apparently, you do."

"Can we please change the subject," Wedge said darkly.

Luke noted the sudden anger in Wedge's Force Print, and accepted that he'd pressed the matter too far. Wedge wasn't ready to face his survivor's guilt yet. Until he was, he wasn't going to be ready to face Yana either. "Sure." He forced his voice to lighten and he swigged again. "What do you want to talk about?"

With this invitation, Wedge shifted eagerly in the couch to face Luke the way Luke had been facing him. If you're going to harass me about women, I'm going to harass you about women. Brown eyes drilled. "Have you had sex with that woman yet?"

Blue eyes shined with manly victory despite the dark grin of warning. "Not that it's any of your business."

"Oh, gimme a break," but Wedge chuckled. Dirty eyes shifted to nothing in the air.

"Quit thinking about it," Luke snipped.

Brown eyes shifted back over. He was still thinking about it. "I swore to God I thought you were going to be celibate for life."

"So did I," Luke chuckled. "I considered it," he admitted brightly. "It seemed . . . simpler. I can see why the old Order made it a rule."

"You really considered it?"

"Yeah," Luke nodded, scratching the scalp behind his ear. "There's a trick that makes the craving go away."

"Well that must be handy when you can't get any." Then Wedge's eyes shined guilty at the air. "What did Kess do to change your mind?"

Luke chortled again, but shaking his head and anger growing in his throat. "I'm not sharing details with you, man."

"Oh, come on!" Wedge shouted, smiling. "After all those years I tried to get you laid? It's not like there's going to be another one for you!"

Blue eyes lost all their humor and locked onto the other man. This warning was louder.

Wedge's eyes suddenly lost their humor too when he remembered. The goodbye kiss was such a non-thing that Wedge completely forgot about it. He shook his head with severity. "I'm not asking so I can shoot at your target, Luke. I never did."

Brows lifted.

Wedge motioned his beer bottle in the air. "She was in Rogue Group for months! You think I would have waited that long if I hadn't figured it out that you were looking at her, too?"

Luke lowered tight eyes and swigged his bottle.

"If I wanted her that bad, I would have fought you on it."

"You did fight me on it." Eyes rolled back over to stare accusations.

More guilt welled up in Wedge's chest and compressed the guilt that was already there. He launched to his feet and paced away. "But I wouldn't have had to if you'd've just nailed her when you should've." He paced back and hissed at the other man. "You were so fucking Jedi about it you even had me fooled! And the shit you put her through was rough. And you wouldn't even see it. When it was right in front of you! You wouldn't even see it!"

"I did see it," Luke said in a harsh whisper. "I did what I had to do." He angled his head to watch the other man huff, but Wedge wasn't angry. Luke knew Wedge was reacting this way simply because anger was easier to process than guilt. "You wouldn't be this pissed off if you didn't feel so guilty, and you would feel guilty about it if you didn't still want her."

"That's not wh-." Wedge said roughly, but stopped himself and let out a hard breath. He pinched eyes of darker anger and launched it at Luke. "Y'know, I can't believe you, sometimes. You get so damn high and mighty when others have to deal with being human and you can't even see that you go through the same crap yourself!"

Luke blinked slowly and rippled his mouth closed. The alcohol was soaking into his brain now. And Luke momentarily considered it might be best to toss his lightsaber into a corner for the rest of the night.

Yet maybe this is what these old war buddies needed so they could get past this.

"Why'd you do it?" Luke finally asked him. And he looked over at him, bracing himself for the answer. "Why'd you kiss her?"

"It was a good bye!" Wedge growled out. His violent voice echoed against the walls of the apartment. "We are all about to die! I didn't think I'd ever see her again. Or Yana, or Kayla, or Ashten. . . . I don't know how I knew but I knew. Pad 14 was a family. Rogue Group was a family. We busted our asses, back to back to back to get this war where it needed to end. She was just the last one I saw when I left that Pad for the last time. And yeah, you wanna know? Fine! For that moment I wished she was mine. Because she deserved better than you, you sonofabitch. She deserved a lot better than what you put her through."

Luke's eyes dropped closed.

"That night, before we launched for the biggest fucking battle of that war, remember Luke, she went home to you. And I went home to nobody."

The anger was beginning to calm, and the confession assuaged the guilt by a tiny bit, but the drunk was still there. Luke sighed parentally, unlatched his lightsaber, and tossed it onto a far corner of the room.

Still standing out of reach of it all, Wedge spread his palm and spat. "What's this about?"

Luke melted his back against the couch and rested his forearms across his face. "Just a precaution."

Wedge hitched a harsh accusation. "You are so arrogant sometimes."

Now, Luke pinched his mouth and launched off the couch. "No!" He stomped over the drink table, fists clenched and hissed back in the other face. "No, I am not! If I were arrogant about this I wouldn't have needed to throw it over there in the first place. Do have any idea how much I want to bust you in the jaw right now?!"

"Do it."

Luke hardly heard him. "You think I didn't want to rip out your throat every time you looked at her on the Pad? That I couldn't sense everything that was going on in your mind? You think I can't sense that stuff?"

Wedge lifted his chin and loosened his jaw. "So do it."

Luke closed his eyes and shook his head. "I don't want to hit you."

Wedge turned his eyes and twisted his mouth.

"I need you." Luke admitted it in a defeated mutter. "I need my wingman for this."

Brown eyes flicked back, seeing a new turmoil in the old friend. Now Wedge too realized there was more going on than he knew about. Something else was wrong. But this smoke had to clear before they could get to it.

He hitched with humor. "Would you just hit me and get it out of your damn system."

Luke half-turned away, shaking his head. He inhaled a long slow breath of air and closed his eyes like he was about to meditate.

In Wedge's opinion, this was not the answer. What Luke needed right now was to not be a damn Jedi for a minute. Wedge smiled more, sickly, and shouted into the side of his face. "I kissed your woman!" He taunted. "I wanted to rip those greasy coveralls right off her body and nail her to the office wall! Even after I figured it out that you were in love with her. I wanted to make her scream so loud just to wake your ass up from a sound sleep-

CRACK!

Wedge let his face whip aside. He grinned as he adjusted his jaw. Luke whipped his hand in the air and gritted his teeth for letting Wedge drive him to it in the first place.

Wedge cocked his chin sideways. "You feel better?"

Luke's eyes were still closed. "A little."

Wedge rubbed his jaw with his palm, watching him, and flicked his eyebrows. "Are you going to brace for it?"

Slowly, Luke shook his head, and didn't open his eyes. "No."

"Good-" CRACK!

Luke let himself lose his balance a little and set his hands on his knees, grimacing at the floor. The pain in his jaw felt cleansing somehow. But that was a bad sign.

Wedge rocked a step back and rubbed his knuckles with his other palm. "Now that we got that out of the way. . . ."

Luke peeked an evil eye open and rolled his shoulders back to his full height. He shifted his gaze away and hissed a sigh. He was too intoxicated to face this like a Jedi. No wonder he didn't like getting drunk.

But Wedge just stepped up and slapped him on the shoulder, gritting an angry grin of his own. "It's time to flip this coin." Wedge's husky voice hissed into the side of his face. "Now it's your turn."

Eyes still closed, Luke shook his head. "To do what?"

Wedge's voice went even rougher than before. "Your turn to look me in the eye and try to tell me you never wanted to nail Yana to the wall."

Blue eyes flicked over.

Wedge just chuckled. "Now there's the dark side if I ever saw it." He let his palm slide off Luke's shoulder. "You think I didn't notice how much she looks like a redhead in the sunlight?"

Luke visibly gritted his teeth and turned his face away.

Wedge picked up his beer bottle, swigged it, and plopped his ass back down on the couch. "You've got no right to be high and mighty about any of this."

Luke shook his head and whined at him. "But I was never in love with her."

Wedge spread a palm and nearly sang it, "And now you get it."

Luke scratched his neck and grimaced.

"Kess would have been just another Kayla to me," Wedge admitted. "And I think she knows that. As for her, I could never out-fly you. She was in love with you the minute she reported as ordered. The only reason she ever looked in my direction was because she didn't know you were in love with her too."

Luke stood behind the drink table and set his hands on his hips. He stared at the floor for a beat, and he adjusted his jaw one more time.

Wedge disciplined him with a shout, "So get off this jealousy crap, propose to her like you were going to, and be done with it already!"

To this, Luke shifted. "I already did."

Wedge blinked back. "When?"

He dropped his hands from his hips and moved tiredly back to the couch. "Last week."

"Did she say yes?"

"Of course she did."

Wedge spread both palms and whined so loud he almost sounded like Han. "Then why the hell are we fighting over this?!"

Luke arched a brow, "Because I'm starting to wonder if I made a mistake."

Wedge rattled his head. "Why?"

Luke swallowed hard.

"Not because of me!"

"No, not because of you."

"Then why?"

Luke murmured it. "She doesn't want kids."

Wedge slammed his eyes shut and rattled his head again. He rolled over his lap and almost sat up. "Wait. Wait..." He waggled his hands in the air. "You just proposed to her last week."

"Yeah."

"And you're already talking about kids?"

Blue eyes stretched over. "Well, yeah. Isn't that the point of getting married?'

Wedge shoved his wide eyes closer to the man and shook his head. "No, you idiot, it's not!"

Blond brows wrinkled.

"By the Force, don't tell me all you wanted her for is to breed babies for you!"

Luke grimaced at the ludicrousness of that. "No! But-

"But nothing! Luke, you can't fly women like your hitting hyperspace."

"What do you mean?"

"You can't hold her at a dead stop for a year then expect her to jump for the end game just because you're suddenly ready for it."

"We weren't at a dead stop like everyone thinks."

Wedge rolled his chin in the air. "Did you show her that while she was training?"

"Well, no, I couldn't."

"Then for all intents and purposes, man, you were at a dead stop."

Luke's eyes shifted. He stared at the air.

"When was the first time you slept with her?"

Luke pressed his mouth and eyed a new warning.

But Wedge shook his head and his intent was clear. "I'm not asking for details, I'm just asking when."

"Victory day. When she graduated. Why does that matter?"

"So not even three months ago."

"So?"

Wedge didn't know how to explain it. He just shook his head and grunted. "You're lucky she said yes."

That's when Luke realized it. To him, it felt like he and Kess had been a couple for more than two years. But if you take away all the Force senses, all the tricks and complications of Jediship, if he looked back over the calendar and just saw their relationship from the perspective of mundane rebel shipmates, they'd only been a couple for three months.

Luke dropped his head back against the couch and stared at this new clarity. "You're right," he whispered in the sudden quiet.

Wedge glanced over, and rolled his eyes away again. He had to remind himself that Luke was still suffering 'farm boy mode' when it came to women, so he let the man swim in the epiphany for a minute.

Luke just stared at the air and shook his sluggish head. "I am so in love with that woman."

Wedge grinned at his lap.

"All that time. . . all that time you guys were trying to get me laid, I thought I was above it. I didn't need the sex, I had tricks. It seemed a waste of time. An unnecessary complication." His jaw rippled as he swallowed. "It wasn't until I was training Kess that I realized there was more to it." He licked his lips closed and breathed. "Sure the sex is great but . . . but even if we did make Jedi vows of chastity, even if she said no to the locket. . . . she'd still be my partner for life."

Wedge's mouth dug a deeper grin to hear that. All was well. And he was a little honored that Luke finally felt comfortable enough to speak these kinds of truths to him.

So, the farm boy Jedi is as male as the next guy. Wedge understood him now better than he ever did before.

"Can I ask you something?" Wedge murmured after a long silence.

Luke's eyes were already closed and quickly drifting off to a drunken sleep.

"And I admit this time it's just out of dirty curiosity."

"Hm."

"Now that you have slept with her-couple times, I'm guessing-and I admit to a moment of imagination of what that was probably like..."

Luke rolled his head on the back of the couch and peeped an eye open, but despite the topic, Wedge had a curl of humor in his voice, and Luke's buzzed brain naturally remembered images of the very act on which Wedge was speaking.

Wedge dropped his head back on the couch and rolled his gaze over with a dirty smirk. "Could you bring yourself to consider vows of chastity now?"

Luke's eyes widened a little. He slowly began to shake his head, eyes widening more, grin growing from ear to ear, until he chuckled with a pink flushing his face.

Wedge balled his fist and jerked an elbow of success. "Well done, Lendra."

"I'm surprised we didn't wake you up out of a sound sleep," Luke flushed even as he bragged.

Wedge chortled dark and dirty, and climbed off the couch. He strutted away with a murmur, "Good shot, Red Five."

Luke could only stare at the air, envisioning flashes of skin and the sweet intoxication of sex, and closed his eyes again so his mind could swim in it.

A pillow sailed through the air and landed in his face.

Luke blinked back alive. A wadded army blanket landed on him next. Luke wrapped his arms around both and tried to tell his brain to stay awake long enough to take off his boots, but he melted sideways down on the couch.

Wedge shuffled into the bedroom with a grinning grumble, "No whacking off on my new couch."

"You neither." Luke called with his head and shoulder already cuddled sideways into that new sepia fabric.

Wedge paused at the door and smirked back. "Why?" Not that he was going to but-

"Because I can't block it when I'm drunk." Luke smacked sleepy. "And I don't want to have to listen to you imagining sex with my fiancé."

Wedge's mouth smiled, and his tone was deep. "Trust me, Luke. It wouldn't be Kess I'd be imagining," and he closed the bedroom door.