Nik called out sick, and Lithyn in the front office warned him gently that had no sick pay left to take. He explained vaguely that he was having problems with his family, that he intended to try to take them to a counselor today, that all the fodder from their month with the Alliance and on Coruscant was coming to a head, Lithyn said she'd see what she could do to keep them for writing a disciplinary report for his unauthorized absence. Nik wanted a drink after that, and it was still morning.

This was the problem, he realized. He sat at that empty kitchen table and looked out the living room view to the red ridge beyond. Gina fell in love with the place because of that view, even thought it wasn't the best of houses. Nik remembered sitting on that back patio with her, squatting on boxes not yet unpacked, and popped open a bottle of chocolate wine to celebrate closing escrow. They sipped the sweet liquor out of paper cups. Nik scooted the box to the wall and rested his back, spreading his knees wide so Gina could sit on the box between his legs. They cuddled and giggled and talked about paint colors and new furniture, and what they were going to use the second bedroom for. Gina wanted to make it a study even though she'd already finished the History Cert so she could qualify for school teacher. Nik wanted to put a billiard table in there. They never settled that loving debate before the density of the spare bedroom was decided for them.

Nik started into his java as much as he stared at that red ridge and those memories.

But they couldn't really afford this place. Gina had to go back to work almost as soon as Ben was born. She hated to leave the baby with public daycare, but she loved her job. Nik wasn't sure if she liked it because the job let her talk about Galactic History all day, or because she loved the young kids she taught, but it didn't matter. The woman was active in the school board, worked late to meet with parents of troubled students, and never missed an evening of grading homework. It was clear to Nik that one of Gina's biggest hesitations to leaving Tatooine was that she would have to abandon all that work and all those students with which she invested so much time and care.

Nik wanted a drink for this, and one voice told him he would handle it better if he had one. But the other voice was louder and made a lot more sense. If he went to Ellen's with a hint of liquor on his breath, if he stumbled or slurred his words at all, Gina would solidify her decision and would not bring her and Ben home.

So Nik suffered through this incredibly tense morning and waited for the suns to lift fully over the ridge before he put away his java and grabbed the speeder key.

His mother-in-law wasn't a difficult woman per say, but Nik had to take her in doses. She had an unusual intensity about her. It was discomforting to be around her. Nik always minded his Ps and Qs at her house, ensuring he was he sounded bright and easy just so the woman wouldn't descend into unnecessary stress. It would be so much easier if he could face Gina without Ellen around, but Nik was also prepared to eat as much crow as necessary so Gina would turn this around. He wanted a drink to handle Ellen, but he focused his mind to yell louder than the voices. This is my punishment! I fucked up! I deserve an afternoon of brow beating from my mother-in-law.

As it was, Ellen didn't really speak. She radiated stress, but also an understanding of the situation. She seemed to know that Nik was there to apologize without him needing to explain it. He didn't know if she was close enough to detect he hadn't been drinking, but the matter proved itself enough that she stepped aside and let him in.

"Dad!" Ben ran up and showed Nik a new fighter toy grandma had bought. Nik lowered to a knee and gave the boy his complete attention. "Hey scrapper, that thing is really cool. You having fun at grandma's?" Ben talked a little, seeming oblivious to what was happening, but Nik closed his eyes and kissed the lad's blond head.

And he heard it. Or sensed it. Or something.

Ben was uncomfortable. He knew something was wrong. He knew mom was mad. He knew dad was untrustworthy. Ben feared his family was breaking apart, and he felt unsafe to face the galaxy without it. All he wanted was for everything to glue back together; for his mom and dad to giggle at each other again, to be there for him, so that Ben could resume his comfortable existence in the cradle of family and only have to worry about fighter toys and homework.

"Ben, honey," Ellen called, "Will you help me with the vaporator filter? My back is bugging me today I need a strong man to do it."

Ben tried to ignore the request and kept flying the fighter into his father's face.

Nik patted the boy on the back. "Go help your grandma. I'll be here when you get back."

"Are you sure?"

"Go on."

Ben and Ellen moved out the backdoor to her tiny, sandy patio. Nik stepped hesitantly into the living room where Gina was sitting in a chair and cradling a cup of herbal tea on her knees. Her pale completion and dark hair made her look like a queen in the mid-morning light. Snow White, he once called her. Dark eyes, red lips. . . . No boobs to speak of but Nik didn't care about that. She stared at her tea for a long time, so Nik stepped further over and sat on the corner of the drink table in front of her.

He rubbed his palms together. "How-" His voice cracked. He cleared his throat. "How long did you plan to stay?"

She blinked slowly and turned her eyes away. "I haven't decided yet." Her voice was beaten.

Nik closed his mouth and nodded to himself. At least she hadn't filed for divorce yet, but he was certain that was on the table. That thought filled him with the dread of skirting way too close to a cliff. Divorce would be the end of his world.

Nik swallowed hard and tried to figure out what to say. "I've been screwing up. . . . And I know it. . . and I'm sorry. . . . " His words caught in his throat. "And I wish I knew what the answers were."

Her eyes found him, but hard, and her whisper was shaky. "You need to stop drinking."

His mouth quivered, but he forced himself to keep her gaze. "I know."

Gina took that for what it was worth and lowered her gaze to her tea.

"But Ben needs help, too," he murmured. "This new stuff he can do, I don't know how he's doing it. I don't how to help him."

"Ben is under a lot of stress because he doesn't have his father to depend on. That's why he's acting out."

"Yeah. . . ." Nik looked at the floor for a moment, but lifted his head with the hard truth of it. "But it's not going to stop."

Her eyes flashed up.

Nik was dead serious, "Gina, you must recognize that." He shook his head with whispering severity. "I'll get help. I'll stop drinking. I'll be there for him. And for you. And he'll calm down for a while... But baby, it's not going to stop. If we don't get him help, he's going to end up hurting somebody or himself, and it's going to be an accident."

Gina's face began to crumble and tears dribbled down her cheeks. "He's only seven."

Nik reached over and put a hand on her knee. "I know. I know. But all the better to help him now so that he knows what to do with this stuff before he faces puberty."

She coughed and widened her eyes at that possible tragedy.

He let her consider the depth of that, to look around the air and try to sort through her jumbled thoughts. She shook her head some more. "How come you didn't go through this?"

His brown eyes fell into memory, al the flashes of youth, the incidents, the struggles, the drama. He breathed it. "I did... in my own way." He angled his head to look her in the eye. "But I had a mentor who knew how to teach me to handle it."

Ben Kenobi. Gina had never met the man, but she'd knew plenty about Nik's memories of him. Now they knew who he really was. Now, when Nik looked back and reflected on grandpa's influence, all those incidents, all those dramas of his youth, he could see how Ben Kenobi's gentle instruction were angled toward a specific curriculum. Nik just didn't recognize it at the time.

Nik huffed a few sighs through his nose before admitting this to her for the first time. "I've been drinking a lot lately. . ." His mind flashed to a moment of drowning in black liquid. "Because something they did to me." His eyes pinched closed. He couldn't put it into words yet. "And now something is different. I can't control it. I don't know what to do with it. And it won't shut up. The beer seems to numb it. A little. For a while. " He shook his head at his hands. "I don't know if I'm an alc- " He choked on it, but forced himself to say the word he swore to the death he would never label himself with, "an alcoholic yet..." And he faced her down again. "But I accept that I might be. But even if I never have a drink again for the rest of my life, I need help with this . . . this other 'thing'. . . I need to learn how to deal with all this in a different way. It's gonna take more than a bacta dunk or a counselor or. . . . "

She leaned forward and set her elbows on her prim pinched knees. She scrunched her face in an attempt not to cry.

Nik leaned over too and cuddled the side of his head into hers, whispering the harsh truth of it. "And Ben is going to go though the same thing. If we don't get him help, Gina, baby, he's going to follow right in my footsteps and into the wrong solutions."

She covered her face with a palm, and Nik was prepared to scoot closer and hold her, but her hands came up to make him stop.

He stopped.

Gina sniffed and lifted her chin. Her dark eyes drilled into him. And her voice was as much of a cutting razor as her words. "Right now, what Ben needs most is stability. And you have disrupted that stability. I recognize that you need the kind of help that isn't available here. So you go do what you have to do."

Nik's heart broke.

"Let's. . . take a break." She said crisply. "Let me raise my son in peace and quiet, at least for a little longer, and you take some time to fix it." Her voice sliced when she hissed that. But she softened with sad sympathy. "Figure it out. And then you can come back and be what Ben needs so he doesn't have to leave home."

Nik set his elbows on his knees and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes sockets.

There were tears in her voice now, she was begging. "I miss you. I miss my husband. And Ben misses his dad. You used to happy. You used to be fun. And dependable. You were the pillar of strength that kept us standing through the rough times. I need that man back... Please go find him."

His palm came down to press over his mouth. Nik's eyes and forehead were red. His head looked like he was about to explode. But he clenched his jaw and fought the tears and stiffened into a knot.

After a moment, Gina set down her cup and got up from the chair.

Nik's jaw nearly splintered trying to keep it together, especially when he heard her call out to the patio, "Ben, come inside and say goodbye to your dad."