Yana hated her roommates. They always hung out like slugs in the living room watching stupid shows and making the place stink with their death sticks. She didn't bother to wave hi anymore for they never bothered to look over to see if she did. Her new routine was to walk straight to her room and close the door for the rest of the night. Thankfully, each room had its own bathroom, and she usually snacked on a dinner while she worked a few extra hours at the data library, so she never had to come out, even to eat.
She dropped her tote in the corner and kicked off her shoes. She wasn't in the mood to deal with spy craft now; she wanted to rest before the galaxy stirred up more life-risking tension for her to have to deal with, but she made herself finish her workday with annoyance before she curled up in bed with a novel.
In the mail at work, she received another burner datalink. It was a common method of confidential communication amongst Imperials trying to get things done while avoiding fatal reprimand from their superiors. Now the practice was being thrust upon the rest of the new government as well. This wasn't the first she'd received. The two previous ones were from political operatives still fearing retribution if they tried to communicate directly with the Rebel Chamberlain. She wondered how long it would take them not to fear just walking up to the office and making an appointment.
But this was the first link that came with a note not to turn it on at the office. Whoever it was, they were truly paranoid, probably in fear that Ren Entada would 'observe' the communication and report it back to Purple Command. Yana wasn't stupid enough to follow any instructions beyond, 'please pass this information to the Lord Chamberlain', but after a check of the electronics inside to prove there wasn't a bomb or a bug in there somewhere, Yana shrugged it off that this one just came from a person a little more paranoid than the rest. She made herself a cup of tea and sat down at her tiny table in the corner, promising herself she wouldn't waste more than fifteen minutes on this project before instructing the other person they would have to continue the discussion when she was back on the clock.
Yana put on her mystery-solving mind and pulled the package from her tote, looking it over for clues. It was a standard, cheap, burner link, still in the flashy sales package, but missing one of the pair. She thumbed open the box and looked at the note. The letters were strong, blocky, and in basic. Turn me on at home. A man's handwriting, but that didn't narrow it down much.
She pulled out the link and set the box aside, squared it in front of her on the little table and noted the fresh plastic smell. Her finger flicked the switch and her eyes watched it scroll its settings as it booted up.
Andia-Tech Temp Datalink.
Hardwire communications.
Settings:
Keep/Wipe on Shutdown - Wipe
Number of links on this channel - 2
External link up - off
External channel access - off
Handle List:
0
1
Connection secured.
Connection scrambled.
...and a blinking cursor...
Yana cleared her throat and typed with her thumbs.
O Hi.
Assuming whoever it is on the other line wouldn't necessarily be ready to know when she would turn it on, she let it sit as she got up from the table to prepare for bed. A minute later in her comfy pajamas, she peaked to find she had an answer.
1 Hi.
Yana rolled her eyes. You started this thing, fool. Don't make me ask you who you are and what you want.
She reached to type-
1 I'm sorry I didn't comm you sooner.
Her heart thumped in her chest. It could be a dozen people. It was probably someone she didn't even know. But her heart still thumped in her chest.
1 It took me a while to think of this.
1 I didn't want to be the only one in the conversation.
Yana wasn't sure what to answer to that. She was still trying to make her heart stop pounding with hope, trying to convince herself that she didn't really know who it was on the other end.
1 Are you there?
0 Yes. she typed in a rush.
0 Just want to be sure this is who I think it is.
She slammed her eyes shut. Lame. If it were someone trying to trick her, now they would just lay it on thicker. She tried to think of something clever to say.
1 Also
He entered that and the cursor flicked to the next line, but it took a moment before it posted.
1 I didn't want you to think I was comming just because Luke and Kess told me to.
Her habit was to not provide any hard data until the other end provided theirs.
1 Jedi can do a lot of cool things, but they need to stay out of the matchmaking business.
Yana hid her smile with her hand. She still wasn't sure what to say, but she didn't want her silence to come across as anger.
0 So why are you comming?
1 Because *you* told me to.
Yana wanted it to be him, but she rubbed her lips and tried to keep her mind from going wild.
0 Oh? When did I say that?
1 You're testing me.
0 Yes, I am.
But she smiled big to type it. She knew who she wanted it to be, but she wasn't so naive to believe it until he said something concrete.
1 In the hospital. On the datalink. Just as we were leaving.
Yana remembered back to when she was still in a hospital bed and the whole crowd showed up at once, glad to find her, thrilled to find her alive. Wedge was hesitant, almost boyish in nerves, and she was still a little drugged from the painkillers, so in a unique moment in time, she was the bold one and he was the shy one. She typed on the datalink that day, Comm me sometime. Wedge's eyes smiled more than his mouth did to read it, so much so that she believed that he would.
But then there was nothing. For weeks. No comm, no reason for him to pass through a CIC bunker, no reason for her to visit his squadron base, no convenient eatery to run into each other. Everybody was busy like crazy bees, sure. Everyone had to establish new routines, new places of residences, new local transportation... And everyone had to heal. Everyone had someone on The List to lament and cry it out of their systems. Everyone had bangs and bruises and broken bones in need of medical attention. Everyone had four times the amount of usual work to start sewing back together a Galactic government before the fragile peace fell apart again.
Yana recognized fully that the man had his excuses for delaying a comm call, but after a month and a half since that day in the hospital, his excuses were running thin.
1 I thought you didn't want me to comm you anymore. I was trying to give you space. I didn't realize until TDQs that I might be wrong.
Yana breathed a big smile. There it was. That was the concrete piece of evidence.
0 What made you think I changed my mind?
1 Doesn't matter. I was mistaken.
She flushed in the privacy of her own bedroom.
1 Or was I?
She rushed to type an answer.
0 No.
0 Yes.
She laughed at herself.
0 No, I didn't change my mind. Yes, you were mistaken.
0 I didn't understand what was taking you so long.
She watched that cursor blink for a long time.
1 A lot has happened since the picnic. I didn't want to assume a status quo.
Yana didn't notice it when she stood from the chair and stepped to the bed. She just laid down on her back, on top of the covers, and stared up at the screen as if it were his face.
And with his face came a host of memories. They may not have had many direct conversations, but Yana's job forced her to get to know a lot of people on base, most of the time in ways and with secrets she could never admit she knew. From behind the veil of security cameras and correspondence, Yana knew Wedge as well as she did almost every other pilot.
'Not assuming a status quo' was not exactly Antilles style.
0 You don't strike me as one who gets trigger shy about stuff like that.
1 Yeah. That's true. But I'm trying to do it different now.
0 Oh? Why?
Please don't say something corny. There was a slightly longer pause before he answered.
1 War's over.
1 My expected life span just went into hyperspace.
Yana's brows knitted, and she almost tried to speak. She typed instead.
0 What does that have to do with comming me?
1 I don't have to worry about leaving anyone behind anymore.
1 I have time to do it different now.
1 To do it right.
That was not what she expected him to say. Yana began to warn herself that this may well be just the super smooth pilot prowl she feared she'd fall victim to. And yet, she was already a victim to it even if it was.
0 Sounds like you've already mapped out a mission plan.
It was supposed to be a little joke, but she realized it probably didn't sound like that as he read it.
1 So far the only plan was to find a way to talk to you in a way that you could talk back. Like I said, I didn't want to be the only one conversation-.
0 It's a good idea. I don't know why I didn't think of it.
1 Because the ball was in my court.
Yana smiled softly, imagining his voice to match the words. She wished she could talk so they could have this conversation face to face, but curled up in bed in her pjs, typing on a secured link with only two channels, somehow this felt even more intimate.
1 So how was your day?
Her voice seeped out when she smiled at that.
0 It's much better now. How was yours?
1 I'm surrounded by palpy jackasses, and I have to be nice to them!
Yana giggled like a school girl
And a chat commenced...
Nothing big got said, but everything said felt big anyway. After two hours of simple small talk, no pressing issues, no invasive questions, no political comments of any kind (save that Imperials were a pain in the ass) Yana finally typed that she had to get ready for bed. His answer:
1 Can I link you tomorrow?
0 Please.
Her mouth almost whispered the whole word without a hitch as she typed it. She only realized afterwards how smoothly the word had tumbled out of her mouth.
1 :)
She giggled again, smiling up at the dimly glowing screen as if it was his smiling face.
0 :)
0 Good night.
1 Sleep well.
He never said his name, but neither did she. It was like their own little secret. She was sure it was him just by all the flying metaphors and pilot lingo. But also, the humor in his tone matched the man she knew. He knew what Wedge would know, and he didn't know things that Wedge wouldn't.
She watched the datalink go through its commands to wipe the entire conversation from its memory, and Yana switched it off. She hugged the little machine to her chest and stared up at the ceiling...
...and tried it again.
"Pees-" she couldn't get the L to work. "P-eas."
She huffed in frustration, and sobered. She reached to set the datalink aside, but missed the bedside table and it tumbled to the floor. "Fuck," she whispered. Another smooth, un-fumbling, un-stuttered word.
She thought about that as she finally climbed into bed and began a series of testing herself by saying things she saw in the room. "C-c-c-c-" It was supposed to be chrono. No luck there. How about 'hand'. "HHHhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaa-aaa- " The n was being trouble. "Haaa-ndh."
Whew. At least I got it out. Okay, let's try 'data'.
"Ds... ds... d-" Come on, open mouth after the 'd'. "Dt-" Big sigh. No luck there. So let's go back.
"Pease... Pppppease..." Almost. Keep trying. "Pwease." She growled at the ceiling and hissed. "Fuck!"
She screamed in her mind and laughed at herself. Why is that the only word I can say?!
She dropped her fists to her sides on the bed in defeat and sniggered a little, then her mind found a new idea.
She decided to try a whole new word she had not yet ever tried.
She thought of the word and focused on it in her mind. She saw the text of the word. She heard the word. Her heart swelled at the word. Her eyes imagined the physical representation of the word. And she let all of it soak into her soul like her heart was a sponge and he was water.
Her eyes gently closed, her mouth relaxed and she let it fall naturally from her lips. "Wedge."
Not a hitch. Not a hesitation. Not a stutter. Not a pause. Just that simple, pure word and all the handsome stuff behind it. Her mouth smiled from ear to ear. At her success, and even more so at the humor that he would be one of the few words in her vocabulary that she could say out loud.
She didn't want to push it too far, else she force herself into stuttering on that one too, but she wanted to hear her own voice one more time. She'd missed it-her own voice. So she closed her eyes and relaxed again, and let it tumble from her lips like a dream.
"Wedge..."