"This is a bad idea."

"I know."

"Great. So we're on the same page."

"Yes."

"Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?"

"Merlin, yes, now shut up Parkinson!"

The brunette lifts her hands in a gesture of peace. "Alright, I got it." She rubs the back of her neck nervously. "So, we're doing this?"

Ginny heaves a sigh. "You know, the whole 'let's just relieve some stress' thing would work much better if you would stop stressing out over it."

Pansy rolls her eyes before shoving Ginny onto the mattress, eliciting a surprised squeal from her. "If you insist."

Are you serious? You want us to start writing love letters now? Should I draw little hearts around your name every time I write it too? Maybe kiss the parchment? Because if that is what you want - not a chance.

Can it. It's just a piece of enchanted parchment. I thought it would make coordinating our trysts a little easier. And you're not kissing me either, so why would you kiss the damn parchment?

How should I know? I do not like this. I do not like you and you do not like me. We do certain things occasionally. Simple, and I would like to keep it that way.

"Certain things". You do know that's not how shagging is spelt, right?

Merlin, keep it down, Red. If my folks ever get hold of this I am done for.

You're just as screwed if anybody else finds it. Also, I got a name, you know?

You are not helping your case. And I never use your name anyways. "Red" is nicer than what I usually say.

If they find us while we're shagging that's worse, and vastly more likely. And really, only I'm risking anything, they would never think to check you.

The Carrows already hate you, it would not make much difference if they found out about you doing things with another girl, and your friends and family would not mind either way.

I'm not so sure about that; my mom and at least one of my brothers would throw a fit, my mom because grandchildren and my brothers because you.

You really know how to charm a girl.

You hate me, remember? What good does charming you do?

Touché. Fine, I will keep the parchment. It is more convenient to schedule meetings this way.

You talk like we're discussing some kinda budget.

Well, I am keeping count. You owe me three.

So you know what we're doing after all! I thought you had forgotten. So, three what?

Three pleasures.

Merlin, what century is it in your world? The word you're looking for is orgasm.

O-R-G-A-S-M.

I hate you.

Which of your friends did this?

Did what?

Stop playing coy with me! You know what I am talking about.

Why are you so angry? Red looks good on you.

Of course you would say that. I look like I am your cousin or something. So who was it?

No clue. Gotta say though, it was hilarious.

Stop with that Gryffindor loyalty shit. They went too far!

I genuinely don't know who it was. And my hair is pretty much the same colour. It's not that bad.

Precisely. If I wanted to look like your family I would just move into the haunted shack.

Are you mad at me?

You hexed me!

You deserved it.

How, exactly, did I deserve a bat-bogey hex?

You insulted my family! With how much you tout your precious heritage I would think you would understand that, at least!

I apologize. I should not have insulted your family. I was just so angry. I like my hair, you know? I already have a nose like a pug, as your friends like to remind me, and my eyes are way too small. My hair is the one part that I have always liked about myself.

Fine. Apology accepted. Come by the room of requirement this evening to show me you mean it.

I have patrol duties tonight. Is tomorrow evening fine?

It's acceptable.

Good. You still owe me two, by the way.

Not a chance. You are apologizing. I forbid you from counting this time.

You "forbid me".

Yes.

Fine. This once.

It happened again!

What did?

The hair colour spell! Did you say anything?

Parkinson, anyone with eyes can see you spend a lot of time on styling, primping, that sorta shit.

Can you tell me who it was this time?

No can do.

You cannot or you will not?

Both.

Seriously?

Will you drag them to the Carrows?

No.

But you were going to, weren't you?

Yes, but I know you will not tell me if I say that, so no.

Will you do it?

I just said no, did I not?

You also said that you just said so to get me to tell you.

Well I will not, alright?

Okay. The answer is still no, though, because I don't know who did it.

Well, can you tell your little friends to stop already?

And how would I justify that? Hey, know that bitch that leads the witch hunter squad? Yeah, don't target her anymore. Why? I don't know, I feel a certain compassion for her suddenly.

Can you at least tell them not to go for my hair? That is below the belt.

Know what's below the belt? The cruciatus, laceration curses, drowning hexes. You can deal with a little coloured hair.

I heard you let Dennis go.

Great. Whom else did he tell?

Just me and Neville. Said you told him to keep it quiet.

Good. If anybody tattles I am dead. Maybe not literally, but I will be seen as a blood traitor, no better than a mudblood.

Sorry, muggleborn.

Believe me, I know. Also, you're learning - good.

Get lost.

You are allowed to say fuck off, you know? Your parents aren't listening to our parchment.

And thank Merlin for that.

So, why'd you do it?

He is, how old, twelve or so? He would have gotten the cruciatus for drawing what he did in the hallway. I know what that does to children. I am not about to let a child become a vegetable if I can help it.

He's fourteen, actually. Still, thank you.

You are welcome. And, for Morgana's sake, If you insist on protesting in such pointless ways, at least tell your little friends to be more careful about it. I can only stick my neck out for some idiot so often before I break it.

It's not pointless.

How is painting a wall not pointless?

It shows we're still here.

And that helps whom how?

It helps people to keep their heads up, to keep fighting. If we don't let go, others won't either.

I beg to differ. Everybody who disagrees with what is happening is going to keep doing so anyway.

But they are too afraid to do anything about it. If we show them that we are not afraid then we show them that they don't have to be either.

And how is a fourteen year old getting tortured to insanity going to help people become less afraid? Seriously, I cannot shield everyone all the time, nor am I going to. And if too much happens, the Carrows will have to retaliate sooner or later. Be careful, and do not do too much at once.

I'll have a talk with the Army.

Are you still using that ridiculous moniker?

It's not ridiculous!

It absolutely is. So, do you want to meet up tonight? I am supposed to patrol the astronomy tower, but if I stay at the top for an hour after eleven no one will notice.

I'll be there.

I knew that idiotic sport would kill you someday.

I'm not dead yet! And Hooch would always have caught me, that's what she's there for.

And if she messes up?

She won't.

So you say. There are a little above two quidditch-related deaths every year.

Worldwide.

That is still a lot.

There are also a lot of people who play the sport. And your chances of dying from falling down the stairs are several times that.

Certainly in Hogwarts. Seriously, whoever designed the staircases here was a least a dozen fire whiskeys in.

Not gonna argue that. Anyway, Pomfrey also said that my leg should be fine in a week.

Did she also tell you to stop playing that ridiculous sport?

Of course. I'll answer your next question, too. Of course not. Why do you care anyway?

Because if you die I might have to ask Millie if she wants to take over your role. I prefer you.

How very flattering.

I aim to please.

You really don't.

I really do not. I am only partially joking, though. You are one of only three girls I know are gay or bi, and Susan is alright looking but a tattletale and would never willingly sleep with a Slytherin.

It's nice to know I was your first and only choice then. What made you approach me to begin with? You must have thought I would not go for a Slytherin either. Also, hang on, Bulstrode is gay?

Yes, Millicent is gay. She is still in the closet though, where she will likely stay for the rest of her life.

Same as you.

If things do not change a lot, yes. I will not gamble my life on a love marriage. Jury's still out if it is worth it to gamble my standing in society on it. With regards to Millie, though; you tell anyone and I will kill you. You tell anyone I told you about it, I will kill you, then revive you to kill you again. Got that?

Relax, I won't out anyone against their wishes, not even Millicent Bulstrode.

Good. As for why I approached you, I knew about your arrangement with Justin.

Hang on. Who told you?

Reveal your sources and you are wont to lose them. Anyhow, I knew you have no problems with a casual arrangement and you are not shy about your bisexuality. As for the Slytherin part - I have the information to ensure mutually assured destruction, so I knew you would not tattle.

Is that your usual M.O. to get girls into your bed? Blackmail them?

Please, I did not use that information to get you to agree, I only used it to make sure you would not tell. Besides, my "usual M.O."? That would require previous cases.

So I am the first girl you blackmailed to make sure your advances would not become public knowledge. That's... comforting, I guess.

You really did not realize? And here I thought you just liked to see me off kilter and that was why you threw me in at the deep end.

What are you talking about?

Merlin, you are almost as dense as your brother. I never had another girl in my bed. Or a guy, for that matter.

That was your first time? Why didn't you say something?

I figured you knew from how I was acting. I mean, I did not have any clue what I was doing, did I? And before you say something about how it should have been "special", I just gave you my list of possible alternatives. Unless a miracle happens my parents will marry me off at the end of the school year, probably to Draco. I am perfectly happy to have had my first time with someone I myself wanted to sleep with. And if I had told you directly, your poor Gryffindor sensibilities would have gotten in the way.

You did not want to wait for someone you love?

Did you?

I thought I did at the time.

And now you do not. So how is it any different? Besides, I have a good half a year left by now, otherwise I am just saving myself for Draco or whomever else my parents saddle me.

Still...

If you stop sleeping with me now because of some misplaced sense of guilt I will out your whole sorry group to the Carrows.

Didn't You just say you wouldn't blackmail someone into sleeping with you?

You know what I mean.

I'm afraid I really don't.

I hate you.

You forgot your tie.

I have got a few more. How about you wear it? Scandalize your buddies' poor Gryffindor sensibilities?

Yes, that would go over well. Why are you wearing a Slytherin tie? Oh, this is just Pansy's, she forgot it the last time we shagged.

Just for the looks on their faces, that would almost be worth it. If this was a year ago, I would be tempted to tell you to put it on in the great hall where I could see it and to go for it, just for the looks. Also, since when do you call me "Pansy"?

If you'd do the same I'd go for it. Not really an option now though, is it? Also, I'm guessing you'd get disinherited either way. And it's your name, is it not?

You never used it before.

Maybe they would not. Now they will not have a choice, with the Dark Lord in charge, but honestly, you would probably not be my parents worst nightmare. They might push us to get married, though.

You sure?

Largely sure, at least. My parents are in a catch 22; I am the only member of my family in this generation, and my mother is almost sixty. That I was born after them trying to have a child for over two decades was already a major surprise. That I was a girl was a major disappointment. The only way for the line to continue would be through me, and the only way for the family to continue would be a matrilineal arrangement. You can guess how many pureblood men are willing to enter such an arrangement. That is why I still do not know for certain if I will marry Draco. If my parents manage to find a matrilineal marriage after all, they might go with that, even if it is a less prestigious family.

I still don't get how that would get your parents to push for us to marry.

All that would be needed would be for you to take my name rather than the other way round. You would be expected to take your husband's name anyway, so that would not be much of a loss for your family. You are even a member of the sacred 28, albeit of a disgraced family, in the eyes of the others.

And? That still doesn't mean there are children, unless you count adoption, which the sacred 28 don't, far as I'm aware.

There are potions for that, two of which I can think of off the top of my head.

Yeah, but those are insanely expensive.

Your point being?

Sorry, forgot who I was talking to for a second.

There is of course always the option that my parents would have disinherited me anyway, for being gay and "getting friendly" with blood traitors.

I think I like you family already.

How did we get from talking about ties to marriage anyways?

I do not quite remember. I think it had something to do with you wanting meet me in nothing but my tie to give it back to me.

I'm listening.

You forgot the tie. Again.

Just keep it. Tie it around your bedpost as a memento or something. "The time Pansy made me see stars."

Should I put it next to the other notches?

I hate you.

Tell your guys to lay low, for Merlin's sake! You will get me caught!

What happened?

I had to bail out two of your moronic "soldiers" or whatever you call the members of your "Army". One was not even on my shift, so I had to pretend to escort him to the Carrows' office, only to "overlook" that she slipped her binds and I could not catch her when she ran. I got lucky I got away with only a punch and a telling off. If this happens more often they will start to get suspicious, unless they are already, in which case I am blaming you.

You helped two kids, without expecting anything in return? So you do have a heart after all!

Shut up! I cannot joke about this. What you guys are doing is extremely dangerous. You will get me caught, and in turn you will lose your protective screen. Get your guys to stop all activities, at least for a week. Let things cool down, let them believe their intimidation tactics worked, alright?

I can try. I am a sorta unofficial leader of the DA, but I can't tell the guys what to do.

Well, the next person who gets caught, unless I am on patrol absolutely alone, will have to suffer the consequences. I cannot afford to get involved again so soon.

I know, but I can't very well tell them that. Only I, Neville, Dennis and Lavender actually know you are helping us.

And only Morgana knows why I am helping at all. The best sex in the world is not worth the risk.

The best in the world. I am flattered, though you are perhaps ill suited for judging that, given your lack of comparison, don't you think?

That is not what I meant, and you know it.

Do I? Then perhaps it's because you actually like me?

I hate you.

Why do you always write so weird?

I assure you that I write perfectly normal English.

Exactly that.

What do you mean?

You write like you expect everything you write to be printed and published or whatnot. You don't swear, you almost always write full sentences and you don't even use contractions. It's kinda creepy, honestly.

"Contractions." She knows big words, too, and even a bit of grammar. I write like a well-mannered lady should. That includes no swearing and writing proper sentences.

A proper lady in the 19th century, maybe. While writing to the Wizengamot.

You are exaggerating.

Maybe a little. But seriously, can't you just write like a normal teenager?

So you would prefer me to write like you?

For example, yes.

Fine, I will give it a try. I'd've considered (nah, too complicated a word) I'd've thawed (I spelled that right, yes?) that those fucking bellends would learn good speak now. Back to cave now. Fuck off, losers.

I hate you.

Yes! I got you to say it this time.

Fuck off.

I didn't really get around to asking yesterevening, but why did you break the "no kissing" rule?

Why should I not break it? I just felt like it. There is nothing more to it than that.

You insisted on it in the first place.

And then I changed my mind.

Do not make it bigger than it is. It was not some grand romantic gesture or anything of that sort, if that is what you are fishing for.

I wasn't fishing for anything!

Then why are you worrying about it in the first place? Are you worried about where my mouth has been? It feels like I should be more worried than you about that. I am not the one with the two digit list of ex-lovers.

Fuck you. I do not have that many exes. I've had sex with a total of five people, you included. If you wanna slut-shame me at least get your facts right. As for where my mouth has been, that would be several places on your body it will not revisit if you do not apologize this instant.

Fine.

I apologize. I went too far.

That's what I thought.

Seamus just came back. He could barely walk from pain.

Is he alright?

He will be, no thanks to you.

I told you, I cannot interfere constantly. Theo saw me catching him, so I had to take him to the Carrows. I cannot help him run after someone saw him with me. And I cannot tell him to get back to his route and then let him run while I am guarding him alone. I pulled that trick once, using it again is too suspicious. And I would rather save pulling the Carrows away from their "amusement" for when they have an actual child, I cannot do that every time they have someone they caught in their office - he is of age, he can take a few hits. You need me as head girl to interfere in the worst cases or where it will not be noticed. I am of little use to you if I lose my position, not to mention what they would do to me if they found out I was helping you. So do not go pinning this one on me.

I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. It's just - they used the cruciatus on him! Several times at that!

Believe me, I know. I was standing right in front of the door.

You were right there?

Yes.

You think I enjoy that, hearing his screams and not being able to do anything about it? But unless you plan to revolt, it will be what it is. And crying revolution now would just be stupid, so you will just have to live with it. Hopefully he has learnt to be more careful now.

Why are you angry? I am doing what I can.

I know. It's just hard to accept that sometimes you are still on the other side, even as our inside woman. I guess I've just grown used to having you in my corner.

If someone told me a year ago that you said that, I would fall off the chair from how hard I would be laughing.

So would I. Right after hexing them for spreading rumours.

I guess I don't really hate you anymore, either. At least not all the time.

You better not, given how far I am sticking my neck out for you. And neither do I. Some of the time, at least.

Are you free? I feel like I should personally thank you for helping. 'sides, I still owe you a few orgasms, I think.

I do not know if you do - I lost count about two weeks ago. I will not say no though, if you insist. Meet me in the room of requirement in 45 minutes, alright?

Fine by me.

If you write anything that filthy again I will have to wash the parchment. And before you write "All I wrote was..." remember that parchment does not like water.

Prude.

That was not what you said the last time we were intimate.

The last time we were intimate. Do you even hear yourself? I bet you cannot even say the word sex without blushing.

You know I can.

Even if we are both dressed?

No comment.

Thought so.

Do you really think that I am a prude? I know this is just casual, but I want this to be nice for both of us. I know I do not have the experience someone else might, but if you want to try something new you just have to say so, alright?

Did I hit you in your insecurities with my comment yesterday? I did not mean to imply I do not enjoy it when we have sex. The fact that you aren't willing to talk about it when we are not in bed together does not mean it's not good when we are.

And there is nothing you are missing that you did with you exes?

No.

Nothing that you would like to try out that you have not done yet?

Well, some stuff. But trust me that it is not stuff that I'm missing with you, just some things I am curious about. If you want we can talk about what I might wanna try the next time we meet up. But like I said, neither of those things are musts, and whatever you feel uncomfortable with we just won't do. And if you have anything you want to try, you say so, too, alright?

Alright.

If you write anything of what we did last night on this parchment I am seriously burning it. I am not even joking. That memory belongs in our minds and absolutely nowhere else.

If I get to keep the memories and maybe a refresher now and again I am good. I don't need to write down what I already know.

Are you idiots seriously meeting in the room of requirement? Again?

Morgana's tits, answer me already.

We are. You are swearing, so this must be important. What's up?

You got tattled on. One of your fearless Gryffindors, if you would believe it. I will give you the name later, when I trust you not to do anything rash. There will be a raid in twenty minutes. I cannot write more now. I better not see you there.

Thank you. We all owe you majorly.

I hope it was worth it. The Carrows are furious. They now know there is a mole among their ranks as well. As head girl and certified "Queen of Mean" I am above reproach, at least so far. I will have almost no wriggle room to help anyone anymore, though. Patrols will only ever be in pairs now, so the most I will be able to do now is throw red herrings or maybe cause a disturbance if the Carrows go completely overboard. I just hope that I manage to remain undetected until the end of the school year. I cannot say I am too optimistic. You and Longbottom need to vanish, though, at least until I figure out a way to exonerate you. No idea how I might do that, but I will try my best.

It was absolutely worth it. If you can keep them off us Neville and I will try to hide in the room of requirement. Hopefully the fact that it was just searched is reason enough to not search it again.

I think I can manage to convince them of that, if needed. I will just keep quiet on the matter for now. Speaking up against something nobody suggested to begin with just draws attention. Also, look out for a Cormac - that is the name of your traitor.

I know you are running off right now to deal with him yourself - get to safety and let your housemates handle it. I do not trust the Carrows to stop right now if they get their hands on you.

Noted. I promise I will do my best stay safe. Just - do the same, yes?

Harry, Ron and Hermione are here.

Great, then you can just hand Potter over and you are exonerated. Nobody will care what you did before after that.

I am not going to just hand them over. They are our last hope.

So our last hope is three pupils who left Hogwarts before their NEWTs. I do not like our chances. I rather like being alive, thanks.

The fighting is already starting. I don't know about you, but I will fight to help defend us all against Him.

You want to what? Are you crazy? Ginny, that is suicide.

Ginny?

Ginevra Weasley!

Merlin, do I ever hate you. Fucking Gryffindors.

I hate you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.

I know what you will say. Something about me being "brave" and "almost a Gryffindor". Fuck that! (Yes, this is serious enough to warrant swearing.) I am sure "Gryffindorness" is measured in reckless stupidity, and apparently it is contagious. I am sure I caught it from you, so I am blaming you for it, just so you know. You know, since they started this ridiculously tasteless victory feast I have been asked two questions about fifty times. "How does a Slytherin get Gryffindor's sword?" and "What have you done to deserve the sword?" And the answer to both is: "I don't know." It was Longbottom's hat, ergo, his sword. It was also his task to swordfight a giant snake, which I absolutely did not sign up for. I will keep the sword, by the way. I ought to get something out of the whole ordeal. The snake was the fourth time I almost died this evening. The first was just after the start of the battle where I somehow ended up in an empty corridor with Rabastan Lestrange. The only reason I survived that was because he recognized me and thought I was on his side, which gave me enough time to stupefy him and watch him fall off the wall. The second time was when said wall then almost fell on me when one of those Merlin-damned giants decided it would be fun to tear it down. Then I somehow ended up in a group duel in the entrance hall. Every death eater seems to know how to cast the killing hex, but they never expect someone else to know it, too. Fourth was the snake from hell. Fifth was the guy from hell that she came with. I honestly do not know how I survived getting targeted by Voldemort himself. You know the sixth. I did not expect to survive Bellatrix Lestrange either. Your mother is scary, too, but at least she is on our side. Even as a cat I would be down to my last three lives by now. I also killed five people. Two of them were close friends of my parents. The shock will set in soon, I expect, but so far I just feel numb.

I know you were probably too preoccupied to attend the feast. I would be too, if it was my brother. Not that he is. And I am making this about me. Sorry. Even more sorry about your brother. He was a good sort, for what little I know of him. He always made me laugh (at least when he was not pranking me). May he find the joy he had in life on the other side as well. I have no doubt he will.

I guess there is something to the prophecy about the-boy-who-somehow-still-lives after all. Voldemort is dead - for real this time (at least I hope so). We are still alive - somehow. It puts some things into perspective. How little some things mean to me. How much some people have come to mean to me. You remember the first thing I wrote to you when you gave me this parchment? I am not going to write any love letters. I hate all the mushiness involved in love letters, yet somehow I wrote you one anyway just now. I must seem pathetic. We were never even in a relationship. Then there is the Golden Boy. Your childhood crush, hero of the day and saviour of wizarding Britain, if not the whole wizarding world. Everyone adores him. You will make a fairy-tale couple. Meanwhile, I can offer universal distrust and a family would will likely hate you, while your family will likely hate me. And here I am, asking you to choose an unrepentant bitch with a rampant sarcastic streak over your dream boy.

I hate you.

I love you.

Please do not go back to him.

I won't. Love you, too.

We need to work on your self-esteem, though. Never thought I would ever say that about you.

Nice to see my muse is still alive. There will be a second chapter. No promises on when, though. Hope you enjoyed.

Grey Tulip