'I doubt, even so, that they'll be expecting an army of this size. It's a bitter thought, that the Black Army will be laying waste to the city where I was born." Cadvan turned on his heel and walked abruptly away from the group, and Maerad saw, from the straightness of his back, that he wished to hide his grief from his friends...
Maerad looked apprehensively around at the group for advice. Hekibel soberly stared at her feet, shuffling them in the sand while Hem turned back towards the Black Army, trying to estimate its size. Irc, who was perched on his shoulder, gave a disapproving caw and puffed his chest. It was Saliman who first spoke. "Let us pray that Lirigon does not meet the same fate as did Turbansk," he said, glowering over the rise. "The Nameless One knows nothing of love or beauty. Only destruction and power. May the Light protect us all."
Maerad nodded and stared back over at Cadvan's squared shoulders walking into the horizon. It occurred to her that throughout their friendship, she'd never been in a position to offer Cadvan comfort. Cadvan was always the voice of reason between the pair - it was he who took her hand when she was upset, it was he who listened as she poured her deepest worries and it was he who reminded her of the good in the world when overwhelmed with its darkness.
She now felt obligated to return the favour to him, but hesitated at the thought of being alone with him. Ever since her talk with Hekibel, Maerad found her stomach churning uncomfortably with nervous butterflies any time Cadvan spoke to her privately. She was now sure that she loved him, and had loved him all along, from the first moment that she laid eyes on him. However, from this realisation arose an agonizing doubt: what if she had misread Cadvan's expression of friendship for something deeper? As she stared at the lone figure disappearing into the horizon, a wave tenderness washed over her, jolting her out of her thoughts. For all his reserve, Cadvan was capable of immense love and care to those around him and yet lived a life largely in solitude. He had no family that she knew of, nor did he have any friends who knew him as intimately as she did. She swallowed and pushed aside her doubts on whether his feelings towards her were true and followed him in his wake.
She reached him sooner than she would've liked and instinctively placed a hand on his shoulder. He nodded in acknowledgement, turning his head slightly towards her, but with his back still facing her. She stepped closer and peered inquiringly into his face, noticing that his cheeks glistened. She took a deep breath and looked out over the Hutmoors, giving Cadvan time to gather himself. It was indeed a desolate place and she felt it's oppressiveness increasing as Black Army marched closer towards Lirigon.
Cadvan sniffed and cleared his throat. "I left my sisters in Lirigon after my father died," he said in a quiet voice, now facing her. "I wanted to flee from Lirigon to avoid embarrassing them further, to avoid hurting them. I was so ashamed of what I had done to them. And now... Now, they might be dead, killed by the very Darkness I sought so arrogantly to follow in my youth." Cadvan fell silent and buried his face in his hands. Maerad knew it was difficult for Cadvan to speak of his past - it brought back painful memories which left a scar like no other in his life. How often had she heard snark remarks from others questioning his loyalty to the Light? She had always thought he simply deflected their remarks, caring not for their opinions as he had somehow forgiven himself for his crimes. However, she recalled what he had said when she killed Ilar: 'No one can forgive the wanton death of another Bard' and knew that Cadvan still bore the ripples of his crime heavily in his heart. Wordlessly, Maerad took his hand into hers, stroking his slender fingers. Cadvan had never mentioned his family to her before and yet she knew the unassuageable pain at the thought of losing a sibling. She reflected on the sleepless nights she had not knowing whether Hem had perished in Turbansk, when she could no longer feel him with her mind sense and when she didn't hear back from her letters. Yes, perhaps she knew more about love than she admitted.
"You've done much good since then, Cadvan, in service to the Light," said Maerad gently, trying to meet his eyes. "It doesn't have to end that way - being killed by the Dark. There's still hope. We cannot let the Nameless One destroy everyone and everything we hold dear, especially hope." Cadvan nodded and slowly lifted his eyes to meet her gaze. "When did Maerad the Unpredictable become so wise?" he said, a small smile forming. "I must be spending too much time with you," jeered Maerad. She gave him a reassuring smile and clutched his hands tighter with both hands. She would be there for him for as long as he needed.
A short companionable silence fell between the two as they looked over to the horizon. "It will be alright. I know it will be," said Maerad, her voice steady. Cadvan turned to face her and lent forward to softly kiss her cheek. "Thank you, Maerad."