Before, there's pain too deep to process. Lucy's head hangs limp as he shakes her body. Lucy can't be dead. Natsu promised he would protect her future. So Lucy can't be dead. She is Lucy. She is supposed to live in her nice little apartment on Strawberry Street. She's supposed to scold him for entering through the window and she's supposed to let him stay after performing her ritual of pretending she doesn't want him there. They both know she gets lonely.

That's another thing about Lucy, Lucy is scared of being alone. She can't be dead if she is supposed to be scared of being alone. But still, her body doesn't move. Natsu thinks back about a million opportunities lost, the bet with Asuka, the death of Future Lucy, the first time she let him sleep beside her and every time she made him take care of her while she was drunk. Mostly, he thinks about the long road they still had to pave together. No, it's not possible.

It simply can't be.

Her name spills from his lips once. Twice. Thrice. He loses count as desperation edges his voice and pain and nausea grip his guts in visceral agony that goes beyond anything he's ever felt while motion sick. This is not happening, it's really not. His eyes burn as he shakes her one more time, tears dropping onto her pale skin. He can't hear through the blood punding in his ears. He can't breathe and dear fucking gods why won't Lucy move?

Gently, he lays Lucy's head on the floor. He takes care to do it as softly as he possibly can with shaking hands full of numb fingers.

He feels something boil as he looks at her, motionless and blurred. Something twists, another pulls, his knees almost give and the darkness of a world without Lucy in it swallows him whole.

Then, there is only the thirst for blood that moves him. His whole body is lit with one command: to kill Zeref.

When Erza hugs both Gray and him some of the murderous rage he feels dies down. He has never wanted to see her cry, he loves her too much. Natsu is not very present through most of anything but there is great comfort in being held by a sister after the world has decided to spin the fouck out of its axes. Lucy's limp body haunts him, he can tell it will stay with him for however long it takes him to die. When he smells her scent approach him, he is both afraid that someone is bringing her to them or that he has already lost his mind.

If someone forces him to see her again, lax, unresponsive, unlucy… Natsu can't even imagine it, the horror is too profound. He can't face the unfathomable.

Losing his mind doesn't seem so bad an option, actually.

But then, pale armes filled with scars and scabs and Lucy's blood and Lucy's scent envelope him and Natsu feels his heart truly settle. She's here, she moves, she breathes.

Thank the gods.

Natsu breathes in her scent, her name, sinks into her arms and listens to her heart beat and oh, shit, she's there.

Happy throws himself at him, shouting his name and crying.

A small smile manages to curl up the side of his lips, his eyes feel watery and heavy but no tears fall.

Gentle darkness envelopes him this time, but Lucy's arms are there.

Thank the fucking gods for lucy.

While he is sorting out this whole dragon, demon, human thing Natsu feels so cold it's unreal. Really, a fire dragon slayer should never feel so cold. It's unnatural and unreal and all kinds of un's. Then, thank fuck, warmth starts seeping into his skin from the outside.

It starts with his chest, then reaches his legs and even one of his arms.

After, when he is truly conscious, with an existential crisis dissipating before his eyes, like taking off cloth from them, he smells Lucy all over him. She smells like battle and blood, but she also smells like her bed covers, (hers are soft and warm, he could nest among those for a small eternity but he digresses) like the guild, like her day old shampoo and her sweat, then something uniquely Lucy. He smells Happy too, something burnt, his paws he remembers, fur, cat, salt and the guild.

Next he notices that she is naked. And he is too. And, well, fuck, that does things to him. Natsu can't help but imagine this sort of thing happening at any other moment than when it is happening. He'd rather it were the way they would wake up on a winter morning, when Lucy allows herself to cuddle up to him to leech of his warmth. There is something terribly domestic in waking up to Lucy settled on his chest, naked, her breast sticking up to his skin and admittedly, his manhood pulsating his agreement to its current lodgings (thoroughly pressed against Lucy's belly). More than anything, with Happy hugging his arm and Lucy nestled over him, it feels like home. Like they are sleeping as a family. It burns a little, to think about it, but it's a good burn. Natsu wishes he could dig a cave into this moment and inhabit it forever.

But his legs are all clammy and he needs to stretch and move and he is uncomfortably aware that he is hard and pressed against Lucy, who will be scandalised if she notices.

With no little struggle, he opens his eyes, feeling all too human, all too vulnerable and blurts the first thing that comes to mind:

"Why are you naked?" Lucy covers herself with a blanket while he sits up, making her tumble out of his chest.

"It has an explanation!" She screeches and Natsu is so, so glad to hear her voice, her ability to become so flustered over things.

It is a good thing to be human.

Without thought, his arm reaches out to Lucy, she is still close enough, he can just pull her closer. So he does. She is pleasantly warm. She smells like him, (that might make it into a few fantasies 'cause holy fuck it is so good he has to stop himself from breathing her in if he doesnt want to get Lucy kicked in the face in the next few seconds). He breathes out her name sofly, rests his chin on top of her head, and wraps her up in his arms. Happy doesn't take long to join.

For the full minute Porlyrusika takes to walk down the stairs, Natsu allows himself to bask. Content in being as close as possible to Lucy and Happy. His little family.