A/N: I do not own The Walking Dead in any way, shape or form.
The song in this chapter is called Living Without You by Beth Crowley. If you've never heard it before I recommend it. It's a beautiful song.
Chapter 9
Adrian was in a less than stellar mood when they finally made it back to the farm the next morning. After Dave and Tony had been killed they had tried to leave, only to find out that they hadn't shown up alone. Rick had tried to talk their way out of getting a bullet to the brain from the strangers outside, which didn't work. It was in that moment that she had decided Rick wasn't allowed to talk to strangers anymore.
Rick, Glenn, Hershel, and Adrian had all finally managed to get outside by way of the back of the bar. One of the men shooting at them fell from the roof he had jumped onto to get to his getaway truck, only to roll off and get his leg impaled on a fence. It was not a painless process to get the kids leg off of the fence.
After Rick had roughly yanked the kids leg off of the spike that was through his leg, Adrian and Rick quickly loaded the kid into the closest vehicle they could find, Carol's jeep no longer an option since they were quickly being surrounded by walkers from all sides. Rick and Hershel sat in the front while Glenn, Randall, the boy, and Adrian sat in the back. Adrian was tired and hungry, which did nothing to help her pissy mood. She was glad that her duffle was in the back of the SUV they took, because she would've been in a really bad mood if all of that had gotten left behind.
Once they had safely made it out of town they had all agreed that Randall couldn't know where they were taking him, so they had found an old shirt in the SUV that they covered his eyes with. Adrian had fallen asleep at some point during the drive but she knew it hadn't been a long nap before she felt Rick slam on the brakes and kill the car.
She cracked her eyes open, still tired, and looked out of the window to realize that they were back at the farm and almost everyone was standing outside. Adrian had just cracked the door open when it was jerked out of her hand and she was being roughly pulled from the backseat and her face collided with a solid wall.
The solid wall turned out to be Kale's chest. She was being pushed away as the thought registered in her brain. She looked up with tired eyes to see Kale starring down at her in deep concern. He looked her over from head to toe to make sure she was uninjured, which she was.
"I'm fine, Mother Hen." she told him, more than a little cranky but not wanting to take it out on him.
"Moth-! Adrian, you were gone all night! None of us knew if you guys were still alive or not, and you have the gall to call me a mother hen?!" Kale yelled at her, very offended.
"You're right. I'm sorry." she sighed. "I'm just cranky, tired and hungry, in that order." she told him. "Who the hell is that?!" she heard T-Dog yell from somewhere. "That's Randall." Glenn told him. Then everyone else took notice of Randall sitting in the back of the SUV. Everyone was a flurry of activity after that.
Patricia and Jimmy were getting the shed ready for Hershel to fix Randall's leg as best as he could because no one was going to allow the boy in the house, Lori and Carl were still hugging Rick, thankful to have him back safe and alive, Shane and Andrea looked on in in confusion as to why they had brought the boy back, Daryl and T-Dog hauled Randall out of the car and to the shed, Glenn and Maggie had went inside, and Kale had grabbed Adrian's duffle and bow before he walked her back to her tent.
Adrian thanked Kale for his help before she dismissed him, telling him that she was going to take a shower to help keep her awake because if she fell asleep now, she'd be up all night. With a deep and tired sigh, Adrian reached into her pack and pulled out her black and pink yoga pants and pink and black tank and headed to the house for a shower.
Adrian felt more awake after her shower and planned to take a much needed nap when she got back to her tent, only to be told by Maggie that Rick wanted everyone in the dining room. Adrian followed her and decided to stand against the door instead of taking a seat. She had just woken herself up, she didn't want get tired again.
Rick had wanted to explain to everyone why they had brought Randall back. He had told them about meeting Tony and Dave in the bar and how the men with them had shot at them and then left Randall for dead after he got his leg stuck on the fence.
"What do we do with him?" Andrea asked.
"I repaired his calf muscle as best I can but he won't be on his feet for at least a week." Hershel answered her as he walked into the room.
"When he is we'll give him a canteen, bring him out to the main highway, and send him on his way." Rick told them.
Adrian turned to the door when she heard the squeaking of the screen door to see Daryl walk inside. He had a thick long sleeve on under his angel wing vest and his crossbow slung across his back. He nodded at Carol before he met Adrian's eyes as he leaned against the wall beside her.
"Isn't that the same as leaving him for the walkers?" Andrea asked.
"He'll have a fighting chance." Rick told her.
"You're just gonna let him go? He knows where this place is. What if he goes back to his groups and tells them where we are?" Shane asked, attitude in his every word.
Adrian was already done with the conversation.
"Okay, I'm done." Adrian said more to herself than anyone else as she pushed off of the wall and made to leave.
"Where the hell you goin'?" Shane asked her. Adrian turned and glared at him. "I'm too tired to listen to this. I want absolutely no part of the dick measuring contest you and Rick are about to have, I don't even have the right equipment. Therefore, I'm leaving." she told him before she turned and walked out of the door.
TWD
After leaving the house Adrian had walked to her tent and had promptly fallen asleep. Kale had been kind enough to roll her out of her bed around mid-afternoon so her sleeping schedule didn't get backwards. She walked out of her tent and looked around camp and noticed something didn't look right. It took her a few minutes to realize that Daryl's tent and bike were missing. When she had asked Carol about it she was surprised to hear that Daryl had pulled up stakes and had set up his own camp at the far end of the property. She had heard of needing space, but that was just ridiculous. Adrian didn't see him around the camp or the house so she figured he must be at his camp. Adrian looked in the direction that Carol had pointed to where Daryl's camp was before she walked back into her tent.
Adrian wasn't doing so well by the time dinner time rolled around. Everyone had started to eat inside at night now but Adrian wasn't very hungry, having eaten a few hours ago.
Sophia had finally caught up with her.
She had been so busy over the last 24 hours that she hadn't really had time to think about it and if she was being honest, it wasn't just Sophia she was thinking about.
Ever since she had woken up that afternoon she had felt herself sink lower into depression the more she thought.
About Sophia.
About Seth.
Adrian was walking quietly through the house when she spotted something she hadn't noticed before. A large black piano. Adrian walked up to it slowly, and gave a sad smile as she ran her fingers across the keys. Her aunt had taught her how to play the piano. Adrian hadn't thought that she would enjoy something like playing the piano, but her aunt discovered that she had a natural musical talent. Adrian had played a lot of music when she was pregnant.
She sat down at the piano and gently ran her fingers over the keys. She didn't even realize that she had started to play until she felt herself start to sing.
I walk alone
Pace up and down the streets we used to know
'Cause our house no longer feels much like home
It hasn't for a while
A fourteen year old Adrian walked through the door of the place that was now officially her new home. She had just walked through the door and she already hated it. It wasn't her home. Her home was in Louisiana, with her grandfather. But her grandfather was dead now and this was her new home. "I know this doesn't feel like home yet, Adrian." she heard her great-aunt say behind her. "But I hope it will feel like home some day." she finished.
I hum along
Listening to all your favorite songs
Close my eyes and just imagine you're not gone
Remembering your smile
A seventeen year old Adrian sat in a rocking chair, in the middle of the night, gently rocking back and forth. Adrian was humming a soft tune, a tiny smile on her lips as she watched her two year old son sleeping in her arms. Adrian had come home from school that day, excepting to be greeted by her tiny bundle of never ending energy so they could share an afternoon snack, only to be told by her aunt that Seth had come down with a fever that morning. Adrian quickly made her way to Seth's room and seen him sleeping in his crib. He woke when she turned to leave and screamed for her. She hadn't left him since.
I write you letters you will never read
Paint you pictures you will never see
In all my life I never thought I'd be
Living without you
Adrian watched as her four year old son walked out of his pre-school class, holding the hand of his teacher as she walked him to his mother. He was smiling up at his teacher, saying something that made the young woman laugh. His white blonde hair being ruffled by the cold December wind. He turned to see his mother standing inside the fence of the school, waiting for him to reach her, her bright red hair laying over her shoulder. His smile was bright enough to match the sun as he pulled his hand from his teacher and ran toward his waiting mother. "Mama!" he yelled, barreling into her legs, causing her to fall on her backside in the snow. Adrian laughed as she pulled herself up and brushed off any snow. "Hey there, Hawkeye. How was school today?" asked him, taking his hand and leaving the school.
I lost a part of me I'll never find
But I keep searching, looking for a sign
You haven't gone and left me behind
Living without you
Adrian was fast asleep until her six year old son started jumping up and down on her bed. "Wake up, mama, wake up!" he yelled as he jumped. "What are you doing, Hawkeye? You know you're not supposed to jump on the bed." she grumbled as she looked at the clock on her bedside table to see it was 9 o'clock in the morning. He jumped one last time and then landed on his hands and knees by her side, immediately tackling her back into her pillows as soon as she sat up. "What has gotten into you?" she asked at his unusual behavior. "Happy birthday, mama!" he yelled as he sat up looking down at her with his bright blue eyes and wide happy smile. Adrian gave him a soft smile before she pulled him down to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Hawkeye." she told him before he quickly turned to the open doorway. "Grammy, she's awake! You can come in now!" he yelled. Adrian's aunt then walked through the door holding a tray of food. "I helped Grammy make your breakfast this morning. She let me put the chocolate chips in and mix the pancake mix. Then she let me put the strawberries in the bowl after she cut them up and she let me pour the juice." he told her excitedly.
It's getting late
Amongst the crowd I swear I see your face
Turn around and have to do a double take
Though I know it won't be you
Adrian was sitting in the shade on a picnic blanket with a young man named Lucas Bradley. Lucas had accompanied his younger brother, Jaxon, Seth's best friend, to the picnic. Seth and Jax were currently playing on the playground with other children. Adrian watched as Jax challenged Seth to the monkey bars and laughed when he fell down a few bars in. Seth went to make sure his friend was okay before a cute little girl with brown pigtails and a pink dress walked up to them. The three played together for the rest of the day.
I hear your voice
A symphony that soars above the noise
Telling me that now I've got to make a choice
Stay still or start anew
Adrian sat on the couch in their living room and watched as her aunt taught her son how to play the piano. It was the same piano that she had taught Adrian to play on. Adrian could have taught Seth herself, but she thought it would be more memorable if his Grammy had taught him. Her aunt was getting older and Adrian wanted Seth to have as many memories with her as possible. "Mama, listen to this!" he told her before he played the simple tune that he had been practicing for over a week. Adrian clapped when he finished. He shot her a quick smile before he quickly gave his attention back to his Grammy and the piano. Adrian pulled her phone out of her pocket and snapped a silent picture of the two people she loved most in the world.
I write you letters you will never read
Paint you pictures you will never see
In all my life I never thought I'd be
Living without you
"Mama! Mama!" a ten year old Seth yelled as he came running into the warm house from the back yard. He was bundled up tight in a grey jacket, a thick yet hat covered his head and ears, a pair of red match gloves on his hands and black snow boots. Adrian and her aunt were in the kitchen cooking a special dinner for Seth when he came charging in. "Mama, we have to help it!" he said, holding something in his arms, a frantic look on his face. Adrian quickly wiped her hands on her apron as she walked over to her son. "What on earth are you talking about?" she asked him just before she heard a quiet meow come from his arms. Adrian looked down to see a small black kitten in his arms. It was tiny, probably hadn't eaten anything decent in a while and it was shaking from the cold. Adrian looked to her aunt who just smiled at her and turned to the fridge and pulled out a jug of milk. "Well, lets get this poor thing warmed up while Grammy fixing it some warm milk." she told him. She pulled a warm hand towel from the dryer and gently wrapped the scared kitten in the warm towel. Seth had cried terribly when Oscar had died three years later.
I lost a part of me I'll never find
But I keep searching, looking for a sign
You haven't gone and left me far behind
Living without you
It was a beautiful day in April. The sun was shining, there was a gentle breeze blowing through the tree, and birds were singing from their perches in the trees. Adrian and Seth stood in front of a freshly dug grave as silent tears ran down their faces. "Do you think she's happy, mama?" he asked her in a quiet and sad voice. "I think she is, Hawkeye. She's with Grandpa now." she told him, her voice wavering. "And she really missed Grandpa, didn't she?" he asked her. "Yes, baby, she really did. But she's with him now and they're both watching over us now." she said, unable to hold back her sobs any more. "It's okay, mama. I'll miss her too, and I promise that I'll keep my promise to her, so you don't have to be so sad, okay?" he told her, his tears falling faster at his mother's grief. "What are you talking about, baby?" she asked him, her voice shaking. "Grammy made me promise to be a big boy and to take good care of you forever." he told her, his chin trembling as he tried to hold back the already flowing tears. Adrian fell to her knees as she clutched her son to her tightly and cried into his tiny shoulder.
I'll try to finish what you started
Be the person that you wanted
See the beauty in the world
Adrian and Seth were curled into the couch, each wrapped in their own blanket, as they watched Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. "Don't you think Aragorn is the best, mama?" Seth asked her suddenly. Seth loved all of the characters of the series but his favorite changed frequently. Apparently this time around it was Aragorn. "Why's that, Hawkeye?" she asked him. "Because he's brave and he knows what's right and what's wrong. He knows what his weaknesses and strengths are. He could've taken the ring from Frodo but he didn't, not like Boromir who fell under the ring's power. And then he tells Arwin to leave because he thinks it better for her to live forever with her people, even though her loves her. I want to grow up to be just like him." he told her, never taking his eyes off the TV. Adrian smiled at him, he was just so precious. And then she laughed when three weeks later he told her he wanted to grow up to be just like Gimli.
They say a person never leaves you
God, I'm hoping that might be true
But this is always going to hurt
Adrian laughed as she recorded Seth and Jax sword fighting with long wooden swords. Seth had asked if he could invite his best friend to the Renaissance Faire that Adrian had promised to take him to for the weekend for his thirteenth birthday. He had nearly jumped through the roof when she said yes. It was their first day there and the boys had had a blast. They had watched plays, ate from every food stall, and had even ran into the weapons shops. Seth had looked at all of the swords and axes and knives they had, occasionally begging her for one. Adrian had denied his request several times. They had finally come across a shop that sold toys and weapons for children. Adrian had bought each boy a wooden sword and shield. The shop owner had said that as long as they didn't beat on the swords too hard, they they would hold up nicely. At the end of the day the three of them had walked back to their tent in the visitors camp grounds and had immediately started to fight each other. Adrian watched as they hit each other more than their swords or shields and laughed as she imagined the number of bruises they boys would go home with.
I write you letters you will never read
Paint you pictures you will never see
In all my life I never thought I'd be
Living without you
Adrian sat at a table a few feet away from her fourteen year old son who was surrounded by group of pre-schoolers. Seth sat in a chair, reading a book to the small children sitting on the floor in front of him, their attention solely focused on Seth. Seth had seen a flyer at the library on day the year before about volunteers for children's story time and had asked her if he could volunteer. Adrian shared her son's love for books and told him yes. "Why, did you want to volunteer, Hawkeye?" she asked him. "Because I used to love when you would read to me. You always made it so fun and it's why I started to love books. I wanna share that with other kids so that maybe they'll grow up to love books as much as we do." he told her. Adrian smiled as she watched her son play out the books as he read to the children. Her son's heart and compassion knew no bounds.
I lost a part of me I'll never find
But I keep searching, looking for a sign
You haven't gone and left me far behind
Living without you
Adrian was reading at the table as she waited for her's and Seth's dinner to finish cooking. She was startled from her concentration when she seen her fourteen year old son place something on the table in front of her. Two something's, actually. A box and a cupcake with a lit candle. "Happy birthday, mama." he told her as he stood beside the table. "Thank you, Hawkeye, but you didn't have to get me anything." she told him, taking the box when he handed it to her. "I didn't buy anything. Well, not all of it, anyway. I made you something." he told her, urging her to open it. She shot him a mock glare as she carefully opened the box. Adrian's eyes teared up when she pulled it out of the box. It was a wind chime made from the sand dollars he had caught on their trip to Florida a few months ago. Adrian stood from the table and hugged her son tightly. "It's beautiful, Seth. Thank you. I love you so much." she told him as he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her back, "I love you too, mama." he told her.
Adrian hadn't realized she had been crying until the tears hit the backs of her hands. Adrian heard a floorboard creak behind her and she turned, her eyes widening at what she saw. Everyone was crowded into the doorway of the room, watching her. Some of them had tears running down their face's or had them in their eyes and were refusing to let them fall.
"That was beautiful." Hershel told her kindly, tears in his eyes.
"Thanks." she said as she quickly wiped her tears away. "I think I'm going to go ahead and hit the sack. See y'all in the morning." she said as she quickly stood up the left the house.
TWD
Daryl would be lying if he said he hadn't been surprised to see Adrian sitting at his camp fire that night. No one had seen her since she had left the house during dinner. They had all sat down to eat when they heard the piano. It wasn't until they had heard singing that they all got up to look. They had all quietly walked to the open doorway to see Adrian sitting at the piano, her back to them.
She had a beautiful singing voice. He had heard her hum here and there before, but never like this. He had never heard the song she was singing but it was slow and sad. After she had seen them all watching her she had all but run out of the house with the excuse she was tired. He had assumed she had went to sleep a few hours ago, so imagine his surprise when he walked into his camp to see her sitting in front of the fire, a blanket over her shoulders to ward off the chilly night air.
"The hell you doin' here?" he asked, no real heat in his question.
"I didn't want to be in camp, so close to everyone. And since you now apparently live in BFE, I figured I'd come out here." she said as she raised a large bottle to her lips. Daryl just watched her as she looked at the fire in front of her.
"The hell you drinkin'?" he asked as he made his way over to the fire, sitting beside her.
"Whiskey. Want some?" she asked, offering the bottle but her eyes never left the fire.
"How much you had?" he asked as he looked at the bottle that was only a quarter full.
"Not enough." she said, laughing humorlessly at the irony. Rick and Hershel had had this same conversation just yesterday.
"The bottle was only half full when I found it. I've got two full bottles in the bag though. Brought you some arrows too." she said pointing to the bag to her right. Daryl said nothing as he took his own drink from the bottle, wincing a little at the burn.
"Didn't know you could sing like that. It was nice." he told her, handing the bottle back.
"Thanks. It's been a while since I've played." she told him.
They sat in silence as they finished the bottle. They still sat in comfortable silence as Adrian pulled another bottle from her bag and cracked it open.
The alcohol must have been effecting him because he didn't even mind when Adrian leaned over and put her head on his shoulder.
"Why was you cryin'?" he asked her quietly, taking the bottle from her for a drink.
"I was thinking about him." she told him just as quietly, only the sounds of the nightlife and the crackling of the fire.
"About when you lost him?" he asked her.
"No. Of our life before." she said.
"It's good that you have more happy memories of him than bad ones." he told her.
"Yeah, but it doesn't make the bad ones hurt any less." she said, taking the bottle from him and taking a long drink before she put her head back on his shoulder.
"Why'd you move way out here?" she asked him.
"I'm done carin' 'bout those people. Only ever treated me like an errand boy. They can all go get bit for all I care." he told her, his voice starting to slur a little.
"I don't think it's because you don't care about them. I think you're pulling away because you do care about them but you don't want to." she told him, taking another drink.
"You don't know what the hell you're talkin' about woman, so just shut up and drink." he told her, taking the bottle and taking a long drink of his own.
"I won't let you pull away from me. No matter how hard you try or how angry you get, I won't let you push me away." she told him, taking another drink.
"And why's that?" he asked her.
"Because I care about you. And you can tell yourself that you're better off on your own, that you're just fine being alone and that it's what you want, but it's not true. So no matter how hard you try, I won't leave you, no matter what, Daryl. I promise." she told him.
Daryl said nothing as he took another long drink from the bottle.
TWD
Daryl wished he was dead before he ever even opened his eyes. As soon as he became conscious he was hit with a pounding headache, the kind that pulsed at your temples and behind your eyeballs. It felt like someone was in his head with a sledgehammer and were trying to hammer their way out of his skull.
He hadn't even opened his eyes yet and the light was already to bright. He felt like shit, the kind you could only feel after a night of heavy drinking. And he was pretty sure he was still drunk. But why in the hell had he even been drinking and where had the alcohol come from?
Oh, right. Adrian.
He had found her in his camp by his fire looking like a kicked puppy. He had remembered she had already been drinking by the time he had showed up and if he remembered right she had drank as much as him so she probably felt just as bad as him. He could only hope so because he was gonna be pissed if she was one of those people who didn't get hangovers no matter how much they drank.
Daryl didn't know what time it was, probably late because they hadn't even started drinking until late in the night. He knew he should get up but he didn't even want to be awake, much less get up and try to be productive.
It took Daryl a few minutes but it finally registered in his alcohol pickled brain that something was different. He didn't know what it was but he felt like it was big. He needed to open his eyes to figure out what it was. Daryl managed to finally crack his eyes open but quickly shut them again. It took a few minutes for his eyes to adjust and for his vision to clear.
Daryl was in his tent, so that wasn't it. He looked down at his body to see he was under one of his blankets, that wasn't it either. He noticed that he wasn't wearing his pants or his shirt. He didn't usually get undressed before he went to sleep but it wasn't that unusual.
The hand on his chest, however, caught his attention.
It took him a minute to figure out why and then it finally clicked.
It wasn't his hand.
This hand was tan but still pale and small. He slowly followed the arm attached to the hand so his brain could process it all. He finally reached the end of the arm and the body connected to the arm. Daryl looked at the face of person next to him and was shocked to find that it was Adrian.
He didn't know why, but he really looked at her sleeping face. He had only ever seen her sleep once before and her face looked the same in sleep as it had the night he had spent in Hershel's house after he and Adrian had spent the day in the woods. Her face was soft and relaxed. He could see her eyes flickering underneath her eyelids, her lips slightly parted as she softly snored.
He would never admit it to anyone, be he found her soft snores cute.
Her hair was loose and fanned out over her left arm that was tucked underneath her pillow. He followed the fiery strands down to her back. Her naked back. That was when Daryl finally took in the rest of Adrian's body. The blanket was down to her waist and he could clearly see that she didn't have on a shirt or even a sports bra and now that he thought about it, he could feel her leg in between his and she wasn't wearing the yoga pants she had been wearing last night.
It was then that Daryl Dixon came to the realization the he and Adrian Hunter were sleeping in his tent, naked.