Any Given Sundae

by Jeaustin

The Following is A Genderbend version of the Episode Any Given Sundae

The following is a Genderbend transcript for the episode "Any Given Sundae".

[Leon goes to the kitchen and yawns, stretching. Lynn Sr. is shown cooking and Rita talks to him.]

Rita:"Thanks for breakfast, honey."[Kisses him.]"I should be back around four after I finish pulling Flip's wisdom teeth."

Lynn Sr.:"I thought you already did that."

Rita:"He grew another set."

Lynn Sr.:"What?"

Rita:"You know, I was thinking, the kids have been really good this week, haven't they?"

Lynn Sr.[Flipping an egg]"Oh, they've been great. No calls from school..."

Rita:"No trips to the ER..."

Lynn Sr.:"I only had to raise my voice once."

Rita:"We should do something special for the kids. How about taking them out for ice cream when I get back?"

Lynn Sr.:"Oh, I love it! We could go to Auntie Pam's Parlor!"

Rita[Looks at Leon, who has his toy keys in his mouth.]"And you know what? I think someone's ready for his first taste of ice cream!"

Lynn Sr.:"Oh! This is my favorite of all the milestones!"[To Leon]"What do you think, champ? You wanna try some..."[in slow motion]"ice cream?"

Leon[gasps]"Huh? Ice ceam?"

[He then imagines being in a pink sky on a cloud as "Once Upon a Dream" fromTchaikovsky's Sleeping Beautyplays in the background. There's a sundae floating in the air. He turns towards it and gasps, reaching out to it, giggling. He then sees a flying teapot spraying chocolate sauce from its sprout, onto the sundae, then the rainbow above him melts into sprinkles, which lands on the sundae, the cloud, and him. He giggles, then some gummi bears appear on top of her head, do some dancing, and leap off her head, into the sundae. He grabs it and goes flying through the air, going through a cloud of whipped cream, which is on the sundae and on his face. Two spoons then hop past him, dance with each other, and jump into the sundae. He laughs and claps, then looks on in wonder as a cherry falls out of the sky, and onto the sundae. He is exuberant and begins to levitate towards it, until Rita's arms grab him and literally pull him out of the daydream, while he screams. Back in reality, Rita is holding an unamused Leon.]

Rita:"So, ice cream sounds good?"

Lynn Sr.:"Darn tootin'! If today goes okay, too."

Rita[affectionately to Leon]"Let's see if your siblings can behave for just a few more hours.[Boops Leon's nose and Leom giggles]"'Cause if they can, it's ice cream time!"

[She puts Leon on the floor. Leon imagines an ice cream, then imagines his siblings arguing, in two separate clouds.]

Imaginary Levi:"Don't touch my glasses!"

Imaginary Lynn:"I can't believe you..."

Imaginary Lexx:"Loni,..."

[The siblings in Leon's right cloud start arguing too quickly to make sense of and goes black. It turns into a mouth and devours the "ice cream" cloud.]

Leon[Stops imagining and starts wailing]"Wah-wah!"[growls, then walks off looking grumpy]

[Leon is walking Linka and Loki into his and Levi's room.]

Linka:"Uh, Leon, is everything okay?"

[She and Loki look surprised to see that Leon has led their other brothers into his and Levi's room too.]

Loni[Excitedly]"Isn't this cute, guys? Leon's calling a sibling meeting."

[Leon brings in a wheeled pad of paper, which knocks a block over, and draws a sundae in the corner. He then points and babbles to it.]

Lexx:"Good job, Leon. You drew an... upside-down tree."

[Leon facepalms and flails his arms. He tries to mime eating ice cream.]

Linka:"I think he's trying to tell us something."

Levi:"Perhaps the infant has some trapped wind."

[Leon facepalms again and Loki tries to burp him, but he exclaims and flails his arms around.]

Lexx:"You guys are all wrong; he's clearly waving at us."

Loni:"I guess Leon called this meeting just to say hi."[waves]"Hi, Leon!"

Leon's siblings except Loni[in unison]"Hi, Leon!"

Loni Lexx:"Okay..."

Loni:"...well,"

Leon's siblings:"Bye, Leon!"

[The siblings leave the room. Leon then sees some toys discarded in the hallway and growls in frustration.]

Lynn Sr.[singing offscreen] Checking the mail, skippa-dee-bop. What did we get in the latest crop?

[Leon looks nervous and imagines Lynn Sr. coming out of the bathroom.]

Imaginary Lynn Sr.: Doo-be-doo-- [steps on a jack] "Ow, ow, ow! Oh, ow!" [Steps on a skateboard and goes sliding along.] "Whoa!" [Falls off the skateboard and his head lands inside a drum.] "No more ice cream!"

[The imagination ends as Leon screams and frantically moves all the toys.]

Lynn Sr.[comes out of the bathroom] Maybe a card. Maybe a bill [Leon sees a toy car where Lynn Sr. is about to step on and hastily grabs the controls and moves it away just in time.] Checking the mail is always a thrill. Doo doo doo ba-da-ba-da! Doodley doo doo doo-- [walks downstairs]

[Leon smiles, then walks into the kitchen, where Linka is talking on the walkie-talkie and mopping the floor.]

Claudia[on the walkie-talkie]"Linka! I've got a code denim!"

Linka:"You're stuck in a skinny skirt?!"

Claudia:"I was trying to update my look, but now I can't feel my legs!"

Linka[puts the mop down]"Mopping the floor can wait. I'm on my way!"[runs out of the kitchen and past Leon]"Don't struggle, Claudia, it'll only make it worse."

[Leon sulks. Then he imagines his parents both slipping on the wet floor. He looks determined and slides along the floor on his butt, thereby completing its mopping.]

[When he's done, he walks into the living room, where the twins are on the couch fighting over the TV remote.]

Lexx:"I wanna watch my pageant show!"

Leif:"I wanna watch my penguin show!"

[The twins struggle as the TV keeps flipping between their favorite shows back and forth, then Leif has the remote.]

Leif:"Got it!"

Lexx:"Give it to me!"

[He jumps on Leif and they begin fighting. Leon hears Vanzilla's horn to show that Rita just pulled into the driveway. He babbles and nervously runs towards the twins, but then sees Lynn with his football on top of the stairs.]

Lynn:"Lynn Loud looks downfield, but nobody's open! He's going for the quarterback sneak!"

Leon:"Huh?"

[Leon then sees Lane with a spring-loaded boxing glove.]

Lane:"If all goesaccordionto plan, my family willglovethis prank!"

[Leon shrieks. He then imagines Rita entering and being tackled by the twins' fight, and Lynn, and being punched by Lane's spring loaded boxing glove.]

Imaginary Rita[Angrily]"No more ice cream!"

[The imagination ends. Leon whistles for Charla. The dog wakes up and comes to her. He then rides on her as he lets out a Tarzan-esque battle cry. They hop up the couch and join in the fight. The two eventually escape the other side, with Leon now in possession of the remote. He then changes the channel.]

Man on TV:"And now, back toPenguin Pageants!"

[The twins stop fighting.]

Leif and Lexx:"Huh?"

[They watch intently. Leon, still riding Charla, whistles for Willow, who flies out of her cage to tickle Lane.]

Lane[giggles while trying to shoo the canary]"Willow, knock it off!"

[Lane then accidentally punches himself in the face with the glove and is knocked unconscious. Meanwhile, Leon jumps off Charla and uses the glove to spring himself onto Lynn's face, knocking him over and losing the ball.]

Lynn:"Oh no, it's a fumble!"[Points to the ball.]

[Leon becomes nervous while he sees Lynn's football bounces down the stairs. Rita enters through the front door and Charla catches the ball just as it was about to make contact with her. Rita looks confused, but happy.]

Rita:"Well, this is nice to see everybody getting along."[seeing the unconscious Lane]"And Lane's even taking a nap."

[Leon is seen climbing down the stairs.]

Lynn Sr.[comes out of his and Rita's room]"Yep, they've been perfect all day. Not a single mess or meltdown."

Rita:"That's all I needed to hear."[calls for the...]"Kids, come down here, please![All the Loud kids assemble, with Lars hanging down from the top of the doorway; to Lynn Sr.]Do you want to tell them the surprise or should I?"

Lynn Sr.:"Oh, you do it."

Rita:"You guys have been so well-behaved this week, we wanted to do..." -Lane, wake up! -[Normally]"something nice for you..."[Excitedly]"...so everybody get in Vanzilla, because..."

[--Rita glances at the "sleeping" Lane.]

Lynn Sr.[Quickly and excitedly]"I changed my mind! I wanna tell them! We're going for ice cream!"

[The siblings make various cheerful exclamations, from which can be heard "Yes!" from one of the sisters, "Awesome!" from Linka, "Seriously?!" from Loni, and "Ice cream!" from Lynn. Leon imagines his sundae, and Charla imagines a dog treat. Leon somehow sees Charla's thought bubble and gives her a treat.]

[The Louds begin walking out the door.]

Lynn Sr.:"Ketch-up, my little tomatoes. Time to head out!"

[Leon is about to head out as well when sees an advert on TV.]

Advert:"Come beat the heat at Unky Pam's Parlor, but make sure you get there by five..."[Leon watches intently and does a victory fist pump before realizing what the commercial is saying]"...we're closing early to give our scoopers a break. Don't forget, five PM! One more time; five PM!"[Angrily]"FIVE PM!"

[Leon notices on the clock that it's 4:31 and tries to get Lynn Sr.'s attention by pointing to the advert and babbling frantically.]

Lynn Sr.[picking Leon up]"I know, champ; I'm excited for ice cream, too."[Turns the TV off.]

[Cut to Vanzilla driving off. Lynn Sr. types in their destination on his phone and sets it on the holder.]

GPS:"Your estimated arrival time at Auntie Pam's Parlor is 4:46 PM."

[With only fourteen minutes to spare. Leon is relieved and imagines the dot on the GPS turning into a cherry.]

Imaginary Cherry:"See you soon, Leon!"[kisses]

Leon[gasps with beaming eyes]"Cherry..."

[Suddenly, Vanzilla comes to a stop. It is revealed to be stuck in the middle of traffic.]

Rita:"There's never this much traffic on this street."

GPS:"Your new estimated arrival time is 5:05 PM."

Lynn Sr.:"No biggie."[not knowing]"Unky Pam's doesn't close 'til eight."[Leon starts reaching out.]"Oh, you wanna play with Daddy's phone, Leon?"[Gives Leon his phone]"Ok, but please don't call Uncle Rufus again. It's two hours I'll never get back."

[Leon presses buttons on the phone, then throws it back onto the holder.]

GPS:"Rerouting. Make a U-turn onto Oakville Road."

Lynn Sr.:"Oh, look at that."[British accent]"Leon accidentally found us a faster route."

[Vanzilla drives to that route.]

GPS:"Your new estimated arrival time is 4:52 PM."

[Leon wipes the sweat beads off her forehead. Just then, police sirens then sound, scaring Leon.]

Rita[annoyed]"Shoot, what now?"[pulls over]

Cop:"Ma'am, did you know your registration's expired? I'll have to write you a ticket for that. Get comfy; this could take a while."

[Leon looks out the window to see the cop writing Rita's ticket. He frantically looks around, and finds one of his blocks and blankie on the floor. He picks them up and places the block inside on the end of the blanket, then looks out the window again and spots the clutch of the officer's motorcycle. With one spin and a toss from his "weapon", he was able to move the clutch, sending the bike rolling down the hill.]

Cop[Notices and chases after it]"Ahh! My bike! Come back, precious!"

Rita:"Uh."[Calling]"Thanks, officer! We'll take that as a warning! Whoo!"[drives off]

GPS:"Your new estimated arrival time is 4:58 PM."

Leon:"Phew!"

[Later, the Louds have arrived at Unky Pam's Parlor.]

GPS:"You have arrived at your destination."

Lynn Sr.[Looking through his pockets]"Uh-oh."

Rita[Annoyed]"Oh, honey. Please tell me you didn't forget your wallet. This place only takes cash."

[Leon's eye twitches in anger. He digs through the seats, and holds up a twenty banknote.]

Lynn Sr.[Relieved and excited]"The emergency twenty! Leom, you've done it again!"

Leon's siblings[in unison]"Yay, Leon!"

[Everyone, but Rita and Leon, is eating ice cream. Rita - holding Leon - is ready to order by the booth.]

Rita:"Hi, can I get one scoop of vanilla ice cream, please?"[Leon babbles and points at the picture of the sundae.]"Haha, okay, I guess he has other ideas. One sundae, please."

[Rita is given the sundae and sets Leom - showing starry eyes - up to eat it. Loki has his phone out and recording Leon.]

Loki:"You ready, Leon? Okay, guys, I'm recording."

Lynn Sr.[teary-eyed]"I can't believe this is the last time we get to introduce a little Loud to ice cream!"

Leon's siblings[in unison]"Go, Leon!"

[Just as Leon is about to take the first-ever bite of his sundae, he hears a bird call in the distance, and said bird swoops in front of him, causing Leon to drop the sundae upside-down and onto the grass, all the while happening in slow-motion. Leon looks at the remains devastated and gets teary-eyed, while everyone else has shocked looks on their faces.]

Rita:"Oh no, sweetie, don't worry, we'll get you a new sundae."[knocks on the window]Uh, excuse me!"

Luke:"No dice, dudes, they close at five this week."

Lynn Sr.[Annoyed]"What? Huh. You think they'd advertise something like that?"

[Leon looks down for a second, and just like that, he starts crying uncontrollably.]

Rita[picks him up]"Oh, poor baby. Let's get you home."

[The parents and Leon walk off looking somber.]

[The Louds are now in Vanzilla again. The siblings are trying to cheer up their baby brother.]

Leon's siblings, except Lane and Leif:"Oh, it's okay, Leon."

Lane:"Cheer up, Leon."

Lana:"Oh, Leon..."

Loni:"I've never seen Leon look so sad."

Lane[not noticing the saddened Leon]"You'll get that ice creamsundae, Leon. Perhaps when the road isn't sorocky! Don't have amint chipon your shoulder about this."

Lexx[Popping up from behind his seat; gestures to Leon]"Luan, read the room!"

[Just then, Leon sees Flip's Food and Fuel, and tries to get his parents' attention by babbling and struggling to get off his seat belt.]

Rita:"It's okay, honey; we'll be home soon."

[Leon then deliberately poops his diaper.]

Lars[sniffs]"Oh, what is that? It smells like a thousand angry skunks."

[Lynn groans in disgust, followed by everyone else.]

Rita[Smells it as well]"Oh, somebody needs a diaper change, stat!"[Turns the van around]

[Flip's Food and Fuel. Lynn Sr. carries Leon out of the bathroom and into the store.]

Lynn Sr.[singing] A little powder, a little wipey, now you've got a fresh new diapie! [Leon sees some ice cream in the freezer and struggles out of his father's grip.]"We've got a runner!"

[Leon jumps onto the freezer and starts banging it with her fists.]

Rita[Excitedly]"Look what Leon found!"

Linka:"That gives me an idea."

[Leon looks at the screen.]

[And so...]

Lynn Sr.[Making a sundae for Leon.]"One ice cream sundae coming up!"

Linka:"Don't forget the gummi bears!"[puts them on]

Lynn:"Whipped topping in the hizz-ouse!"[puts it on]

Lexx:"And some yummy cookie crumbles!"

[Lexx puts a cookie on the bench, which Leif smashes with his spanner and Leon sprinkles the crumbs on. Flip is seen with a bandaged face, speaking in a garbled way and putting chocolate sauce on, then he falls over.]

Rita[takes the ice cream]"Thanks, Flip, but you're not supposed to be talking after your wisdom teeth surgery."[Puts a cherry on top and hands it to Leon.]

Lane:"You guys, he's about to try it!"

[The family gasps excitingly as Leon takes a spoonful of his sundae and eats it, then he imagines himself once again in the pink sky, this time with his family, and is laughing. Back in reality, everyone's in Vanzilla again just as it was leaving Flip's. Leon has ice cream all over his face, giggling when he finally got his ice cream.]

Levi:"Hmm, if I didn't know better, I'd swear Leom orchestrated this whole thing."

Lynn Sr.:"Oh, don't be silly, lad. He's just a baby. Haha."

[Iris out. Leon winks at the audience.]