"Kuroda, over here!!"
At the sound of that familiar name, Sayaka turned her head over to the speaker and hear heart skip a beat at the figure who's now walking towards the speaker.
It was a crowded area at Shibuya, her eyes trying hard to follow the figure movement hoping for a glimpse of his face but he was walking quite fast and there was a lot of incoming traffic.
"What's wrong? Do you know him?" Next to her, Kei was trying to follow her gaze as well. But her feet were moving before she could even think.
"Sayaka, where are you going?" Kei called after her but her eyes were frantically searching for the figure who's getting further and further away.
"Wait.. I just need to make sure of something.." she yelled back without taking her eyes off that person. She mumbled her apology as she collided with the incoming traffic of people.
"Please be him.. Please be him.." She chanted. Half running, she reached the end of the road and frantically tried to locate the guy but all she could see was unfamiliar faces. She closed her eyes and let out a sigh. Why did she even bother?
"Wait up!!"
She opened her eyes to find Kei who was hurrying towards her. He gave her a quizzical look. "What was that all about? Who were you looking for?"
She gave him a sad smile and shook her head. "Never mind. Wrong person."
"Who?"
"A person I used to know. Sorry. I got distracted. Let's go, I'm hungry." She forced a smile and led Kei to the opposite direction she was running to.
Lately she's been feeling a bit melodramatic. It was triggered by the arrival of her new neighbour. Her next door apartment has been empty for quite a while. She was enjoying the peace and quiet of having no one else living on the same floor until a few days ago when she spotted the removalist busy preparing for the moving in. They greeted her and apologised to her in advance for any inconvenience they might cause the residents.
She was walking down the road from where she lived when a motorbike passed her slowly from the opposite direction. A familiar scent filled the air as they crossed paths. They said the sense of smell was closely linked to a memory. She never got to see the face of the rider since he wore a helmet with the visor down. She stood there for a long time as memories she thought she had put away came flooded back.
It's been a few days since then and she still hadn't gotten the chance to meet her new neighbour. It was late for a friendly neighbour to visit by the time she was home on normal days. And it was too early to do a visit before work. Maybe she should make an effort this weekend. But then again, she didn't know many of her other neighbours in that building.
"No!!!!!!!!!"
Sayaka let out a blood chilling scream and opened her eyes only to realise it was all a dream.
She panted heavily struggling to catch her breath. Sweat was dripping down her neck and she wiped it away. It's been a while since she had this nightmare. She hated it.
It has been 4 years since that fateful day. 4 years since he stopped coming around. 4 years since her life changed forever.
She turned on the bed side table lamp and made her way to the kitchen. It was 3 am in the morning, there's no way she could go to bed again after her nightmare. She made herself a cup of tea before finally sitting down.
A faint sound of movement across her wall suddenly made her smile. Her scream probably woke up her new neighbour.
What brought the nightmare after all this time? She thought to herself. Just when she was so sure she had put it behind her. It was a nightmare in a dream as much as it was a nightmare in reality.
Sayaka ran her fingers through her messy hair trying to recall what triggered her nightmare. All those therapy sessions had helped her to be more aware of her triggers and taught her how to avoid and minimise it.
It's been a week since she had a funny feeling that someone has been watching her from afar and protecting her in a way. There's few incidents when she came home late when she saw a drunk man following her but that man disappeared into thin air when she turned a corner.
There was another time when she fell asleep on the train and heard noises. She woke up to whispers of other passengers telling her how lucky she was that a guy saved her from being molested while asleep. She didn't see the guy. Apparently he left the train just as she was awake.
There were a few other odd moments that made her feel like she was being watched and yet she couldn't see anyone or any reason why anyone would. It's a very odd and peculiar feeling. It brought back a wishful thought and memories of a certain someone. Especially after that day where she smelled a familiar scent. She kept feeling like she could smell those scents at times especially near her building.
Maybe the thought of him was what triggered her nightmare tonight. It made her play that wishful part in her mind. She wondered where he was and how he was. A pang of guilt tugged the corner of her heart before she shook it off.
"It's 4 years ago, Sayaka! Get over yourself. He's not coming back." Sayaka told herself out loud and groaned in frustration.
Another sound came from next door. Clearly her neighbour was up too and either hadn't slept or woken up by her. She felt bad if it's the latter but there's no way she would come around to apologise in person at this hour.
Smiling to herself, she went closer to the wall and softly tapped S-O-R-R-Y on it. Her neighbour would most likely think she's making a ruckus of noise but she felt better after making an apology of some sort.
She didn't expect for many people to actually know the tap code unless they have been in prison which was how the code was born. Not that she had. She knew it when playing an activity with Kei on a PD day after discussing a variety of communication such as sign language, morse code, tap code which was mostly used by prisoners to communicate between cells. It became a running joke between Kei and her to communicate with the tap code during their professional development day.
There was silence followed by a soft tap from the wall. Her eyes widened in total shock. G-N. Good night? She covered her mouth in total surprised and backed away from the wall almost immediately. Just who was her neighbour. Was he a convict? Sayaka made a dash toward her bed suddenly feeling scared and quickly turned off the light.
Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe whoever was next door just rapped a random tap without knowing the meaning or the code. It happened. She started the tapping noise after all. What if he thought it was an invitation of some sort and decided to come over soon? What was she thinking?
There was no more sound or noises coming from next door after that. She tossed and turned in her bed before sleep finally consumed her.
"Sayaka?" Kei's voice startled her as she looked up to find Kei staring at her.
"Sorry." She mumbled.
"You've been so absent minded lately. What's bothering you?"
"Oh work and stuff" she said lamely, sipping her coffee slowly.
"What's wrong with work? Anything I could help you with?" Kei offered. Sayaka shook her head almost immediately.
Ever since that PD day a few years ago, she formed a close bond with Kei. Turned out he was teaching a junior high not far from the primary school that she was currently working in.
Given the nature of their work, they also have a lot of mutual friends and share a lot of things in common. Kei shared her love for music, dance, art and nature. The past few school holidays, they went on a road trip together with other friends.
It was during one of the holidays they spent together that Kei discovered her struggles. She had a full blown panic attack one day. He was the one who insisted for her to seek counselling and therapy to help her. Ever since, he was becoming her confidante. Others often teased and speculated about their close relationship especially since Kei developed a very protective nature around her. In many ways, she's grateful for him.
"Have you met the new neighbour yet?" Kei asked as they turned a corner towards her place.
She shook her head without raising a glance. She never saw her neighbour. It was quite odd. Since they're the only apartment on that floor, she was so sure she would hear the coming and going of her neighbour but apart from that night, it was quiet. She thought she was going to make an effort today since it was the weekend but after waiting in front of the door for a good 5 minutes she decided no one was home.
"I just hope it's not another creepy old man or panty thief," Kei laughed.
"It's not funny!! And don't you ever bring that up again." Sayaka glared at him.
She had an odd neighbour once who lived next door for only a few months and in those months, there were a lot of missing undergarment incidents in the building. Hers included. She stopped airing her laundry on her balcony ever since. She would never know if that man was responsible or not but it was quite odd indeed.
"Sorry.. But you gotta admit it's pretty funny! How much do you want to bet that he still keeps your panty and maybe.." Whatever he was going to say got cut off by the shriek Sayaka let out. She swatted his arm and gave it a good pinch.
"Cut it out!!! It's disgusting and .. Just shut up already and .." Whatever she was going to say hung in the air as she saw a familiar figure that's been occupying her thoughts lately. She could only see his side profile from where she stood. He was looking down as he stood in front of the mail room.
As if sensing her gaze, he turned his face towards her. For a few seconds they stared at each other until Kei nudged her.
"Sayaka? What's wrong? Do you know him?" Kei followed her gaze.
Sayaka ignored Kei. Her feet made their way toward the guy who stood there watching her with an open curiosity.
"Ka..kan..kanpei?? Kuroda Kanpei? Is that you?" She stopped a few feet away from the guy.
He didn't say anything but held her gaze. His face was unreadable. She felt her face burning with embarrassment at the awkward silences. Maybe he didn't remember her? It's been a while? Or maybe it's just someone who truly resembles him?
She was about to apologise when he finally nodded. An amusement played in his eyes before a smile appeared on his lips. He nodded at her once again.
"It's been a while. How have you been, Sayaka?" He smiled at her. He walked over closing the gap they had until he stood right in front of her. Within arm length. Straight away that familiar scent hit her once again.
She could feel tears forming in her eyes. It's him! It's definitely him! That voice. That smile. That scent. It's not a dream. She wasn't hallucinating.
"Kanpei!!!" She beamed at him, a mix of emotion playing across her face as she blinked her tears away. "You remember me! What are you doing here?"
He chuckled and grazed her cheek with his knuckles, gently wiping away her tears. His touch sent shivers down her skin.
"Of course I remember you. How could I forget?" He smiled at her warmly. "I just moved here. That apartment to be exact."
He pointed at the apartment next to hers.
"You're my neighbour?" She asked in total surprise. The convict? she added silently.
As if he could read her mind, a glint of amusement in his eyes as he smiled wider. He was about to say something when Kei approached them.
"You two know each other?" Kei placed his arms around her shoulder as if claiming her.
Sayaka noticed the change in Kuroda's eyes as it happened. Gone were his smiles all of sudden. Replaced by that mask of indifference as he appraised Kei with cool eyes. He didn't answer nor acknowledge Kei. Instead he gave her a pointed look to answer the question.
"Ah… Kanpei, this is Tsuchiya Kei. Kei, let me introduce you to Kuroda Kanpei." Sayaka made the introduction while the two men were sizing each other. She didn't exactly explain who they were to her. She wasn't ready to explain Kuroda without explaining what happened in the past to Kei.
"Nice to meet you." Kei said before turning to Sayaka. "You two on a first name basis already? How very interesting. I better hear the full story later."
Sayaka shook her head dismissing his teasing.
"Do you live here as well?" Kuroda asked Kei.
"Well.. I stayed over a lot, so I'd say I live here practically." Kei chuckled and Sayaka blushed deep red at his answer. It sounded so wrong. Kuroda might misunderstood. Normally she wouldn't care how people perceive her and Kei but somehow she cared how it seemed to Kuroda.
She noticed Kuroda's face looked taken aback at Kei's answer. His fist curled up on his sides. Did it matter to him what Kei was to her?
"Kei," she scolded. But Kei laughed clearly, enjoying himself and oblivious to Kuroda's reaction.
"Hey.. I'm just stating the facts. Besides, if I'm not around, who else is going to protect my best girl's underwear... ouch!!!! HEY!!!!" Kei rubbed his arm. Sayaka pinched it hard.
Sayaka's face heated at the comment while Kuroda said nothing.
"Since you are her neighbour, let us welcome you properly. Would you like to come over for dinner? Sayaka is a great cook." Kei asked and Kuroda shook his head.
"Some other time, maybe." He said after contemplating the offer. "Nice to meet you, Tsuchiya and good to see you again, Sayaka." Kuroda said curtly. "I'd better get going."
He didn't wait for her to respond and turned towards the garage. Sayaka didn't realise she was still staring at his back until Kei nudged her. She turned to Kei who looked curious.
"So? What's the story with Kuroda Kanpei?" Kei persisted. "You two seemed like you shared a history."
"What do you mean?"
"You're so different around him. I have never seen you like that around other guys." Kei gave her a side eye glance.
Sayaka grinned and headed upstairs to her apartment with Kei trailing closely behind her.
"Oh really? What was I like around other guys?"
"You're always polite to other guys but reserved and aloof. But with him, you're grinning like an idiot and your eyes sparkling like a puppy. Especially when he touched your face."
"Was I?" Sayaka felt her cheek warm at the thought of Kuroda. It must have looked like he touched her face from where Kei was. She glanced at the door next to her apartment. He's her neighbour! The only thing separating them was a thin wall.
She must be grinning like a lunatic because she noticed Kei took the keys off her hand, opened the door and pushed her in impatiently.
"Stop it! You're doing it again."
"Just out with it! Come on Sayaka!! You always tell me everything. Why not this time? I thought we had no secrets."
"Kanpei was my neighbour growing up. We went to the same primary school but then he moved town. I never saw him again until high school. He was a transfer student in high school. We graduated and went to different universities. We kept in touch until I started my teaching job at kindergarten then…" Her mind went back to four years ago. She shook her head in clear dismissal. "Anyway, I haven't seen him since until just now."
"You two never dated?"
She shook her head but couldn't wipe away her smile. If only.
Kei eyed her speculatively. Sayaka knew there's more that he would like to ask her but appreciated that he didn't. She was not ready to tell Kei everything when there's too much to process in her own head.
She's beautiful.
He always knew she was beautiful but she's even more beautiful than what he could remember of her the last time they saw each other. He didn't think he would see her ever again.
It's been a few days since he was back in town. Finding her was the first thing on his mind. She's always been on his mind ever since their secret mission was cleared. Back to normality. Back to civilian life. Everything changed for him yet nothing seemed to change with Tokyo life.
Kuroda shook his head to clear his thoughts. Ever since that fateful day, he made a promise to himself that he needed to cut off all contact with anyone, especially her. He's seen just how much danger he'd put her in. Never again. Even if that means losing her.
He never expected to make it alive and now that he's free to live his life any way he wanted, he wanted nothing more but a second chance with what life could be with the person who gave him that hope. To fight through to the end of the operations and claim his freedom.
Thanks to his connections, he managed to secure a job that was also quite flexible to suit what he needed to do. He also kept a few advisory roles open and to It didn't take long for him to be able to track down the things he needed to know about her. He had the information of her workplace and where she lived. It was frustrating to learn that she lived in an area that can be quite dangerous for a single woman.
He spent the next few days after that pretty much trailing her and keeping surveillance on her before finally deciding to move next door to her.
During those few days, he wondered if he was making the right decision to come back to her life. She had led a peaceful life. Moving on as she should be. Especially when it seemed he was a few years too late. She's no longer free. Few times he saw her with the same guy. There's an unmistakable close bond between them. So he avoided her. It was torture to be so close yet invisible. Each night he listened to her moving about. Her singing when she probably thought no one could hear her.
And today they finally met face to face. He didn't plant for them to meet that way. Yet, she called him by his name. Those tears. She was truly happy to see him. That much was clear. And it clarified just how strong his feelings for her in return.
She may have moved on. She may have a boyfriend, but it's not over. As long as there's no ring on her finger, he stood a chance.
He needed to stop watching her from a far and fight for her. He'll risk everything if it's for her. That much he knew the moment their eyes met again for the first time after those years ago.