The next morning, after waking up, I went to the bathroom to clean up and change. Kirino must have just been in there, the air was still very humid and smelled faintly sweet, like her shampoo. Feeling clean again, and smelling that scent, I started to remember the events of last night and once again felt excited. I shook my head to clear away these dangerous thoughts. I focused on brushing my teeth and combing my hair, and left.

I went downstairs. My mother, father, and Kirino were all gone already, for shopping/work/school. I guess I was kind of late. Well, that was good, I didn't really want to be around any of them right now. Now I understand why NEETs stay up so late and wake up late- being around your family is super awkward after doing shameful stuff in your room! I ate quickly, and left for the university.

The days continued like this for a while. During the day, I would study or go to class, but my college classes were pretty easy so there wasn't much studying to be done. I wasted the rest of my time either watching TV or (somewhat shamefully) playing the eroge that Kirino loaned me. It was a really difficult one with a lot of routes, so I couldn't easily clear it. But the more I played it, the more I got over my embarrassment and found myself feeling real emotions towards the girls, as well as looking forward to the next H scene.

My relationship with Kirino became even more awkward. We still didn't know what to call each other, so we just addressed each other as "hey, you". She was busy as always with school, modeling, track, and her eroge, so I didn't really see her much. I also tried to avoid her during the day, as much as possible.

But... she did come into my room at night a few more times. I think it was after she was playing eroge, because I heard sounds of excitement from her room, and then she'd sneak into mine. Only if I had the lights off though, and she wouldn't say anything. She would just sliently crawl into bed with me, and we would, um, fool around. Please don't ask me for details, just use your imagination! We never kissed or went all the way, though. It felt good, but it mostly just left me craving more, and Kirino would get mad at me if I tried to push her for more.

To be honest, I was enjoying this life. Still, it made me uncomfortable because it was so abnormal. At the same time, my hormones were raging- I'm a normal guy, you know! It was physically painful to have a hot girl getting me excited and then backing off before I could, um, finish anything. I wanted to do more with her! But some small part of my brain was still warning me that maybe I shouldn't. I decided that I needed some advice and outside perspective.

*ring, ring*

"Hello?" This was my old school friend Kouhei Akagi. He was pretty much my only close guy friend, and he was also a huge siscon so I thought he might understand.

"Hey Akagi, this is Kyousuke. Do you have time to talk?"

"I'm a little busy, what is it?"

"Well it's about my little sister..."

"Ah, ok! Sure, no problem, I'll make time!" Good old Akagi, so reliable. At least when it comes to little sisters.

"Do you remember earlier this year, when you and some others were making fun of me for being so close to her?"

"Haha, yeah, that was weird. Although I was also a little jealous of how close your relationship was."

"Ah, so you get it! Then, it's a good thing if we become close like that again, right? Or maybe even closer?"

"Um..." Akagi paused. "How close are you talking? Why are you asking me this?"

"Oh, um..." Now I paused. Suddenly I felt very embarrassed about calling him and asking him this. "You remember that game that I waited in line with you to buy that one night? The imouto eroge?"

"Yes, I remember, although I also remember that we made a promise to never speak of that night."

"Right, sorry. Well I bought that game for my sister. But then she lent me a game like it, and I've been playing that one a lot. Actually she's lent me a lot of these games before, too. They're kind of addictive. They might be warping my sense of normal a bit, so I wanted to ask you if my life is still normal."

"Kyousuke... what exactly have you been doing with your life that you have to ask if it's normal, compared to eroge?"

"Well, you know... having a close relationship with your little sister is really nice... and in those games they make it seem really romantic and sweet, so... I keep thinking about what it would be like in real life. To have a relationship like that with Kirino."

"...Are you seriously asking me if it's OK for you to date your own sister? No! You fucking dumbass baka! You should cherish her, protect her, and look out for her, not DATE her!"

Wow, this really made him angry. I forget how protective he was about imoutos. Good thing I hadn't told him everything.

"I'm hanging up now. Don't call me again. And if I find out you did anything bad to Kirino, I will find you and I will HURT you."

*click*

Well, that didn't go well. At least I could count on him for an honest opinion, even though it wasn't what I wanted to hear. But he was just one guy, and he was no expert on relationships. I wanted to get one other person's opinion, too.

I left the house and walked down a path I had been many times, to Manami's house. I hadn't been there since high school ended, though, which made me feel a bit guilty. If you remember, her house was also a store that sold Japanese sweets, so there were a few customers in the shop. Her grandfather was there in front, minding the store when I came in.

"Good morning, Kyousuke-kun! Welcome!"

"Good morning, Grandfather! Is Manami Here?"

"Yes, of course! I'll call her for you."

"Are you sure I'm not disturbing her? She's probably working today, right?"

"No, no, it's fine!" Her grandfather was always nice to me for some reason. "Oi! Manami! Kyousuke is here to see you!"

A few seconds later, Manami was there. She was wearing a blue apron stained with flour, and her hair was kind of messy, but she still looked very pretty. And she was wearing her usual glasses, of course, which I always liked.

"Oh, Kyousuke! I wasn't expecting to see you!"

"Yeah uh... sorry about that. I should have come by earlier."

"Yes, you should have!" That was her grandfather."

"Grandpa, please, it's OK" said Manami gently. "Let's go sit in my room."

I guess Manami understood instantly that I had something I wanted to ask her about, because she led me to upstairs to her room where it was quiet. I had been there many times before, to study or just sit, so there was nothing special about this, but it was nice to know she still cared about me and understood me.

"Would you like some tea? Or maybe some food?" She asked.

"Um.. no thanks." I didn't want to burden her.

"Then I guess you just came to ask me about something that's troubling you?"

"...Yeah. Uh, sorry. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you, only coming for my problems like this."

Manami sighed. "It's perfectly OK for you to come whenever there's something bothering you! But, you really should have come sooner. I haven't seen you at all since graduation.

Graduation. Right. That was about 6 months ago. A lot had happened on that day. Kirino and I had told her that we were a couple, although we were about to break up. And Manami had punched me, although she'd been aiming for Kirino. Her punch was surprisingly strong for such a gentle girl, too.

"So, since you're here, does that mean you've come back to reality?" She asked.

"Uh... what do you mean?" I played dumb, although I had a good idea.

"I mean, did you stop your perverted relationship with your sister." She said it very plainly, without malice.

"I did. Actually we broke it off soon after the last time we saw you. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you then, it just didn't seem right with that atmosphere. And then... things have been awkward between us, and we're going to different schools, so..."

"Oh, really?" She smiled. "Well, I guess you had to find your own strange way to be nice to her. I hope you two were able to get that out of your system."

I paused. Now I wished that I had asked for tea, or food, or anything really. Just something to occupy some time. Manami's room was even plainer than mine, with just the single table we were sitting at, and her futon. Nothing to even look at.

"Manami... I'm sorry for not coming over here, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. But how come you never came to see me, either?"

"Hmm? Isn't that obvious? Because I don't want to see Kirino, and I didn't want to see you with her. I thought if I went over there it would only cause trouble."

"I see. So... basically you didn't want to see me as long as I was with her?"

"Yes." She answered very simply. I didn't need to ask why she didn't contact me by phone or social media- she didn't use any of those things.

"What if... just hypothetically... what if I was still together with her? Or got back together with her?"

Now she looked at me very sharply. "Then I would not want to see you as long as you were together with her. It would make me very angry, and I would never be able to accept it."

"Nothing would ever make you accept it? Even if we were happy together and had no problems?"

"Well..." She stopped to consider. "First, I don't think you could really be happy together like that. I think you'd have a lot of problems that would never go away. But even so, you must realize that I'm somewhat old-fashioned."

Talk about an understatement! This girl seemed like she hadn't yet entered the 20th century, much less the 21st.

"I suppose there are some weird people who could accept a relationship like that. Maybe that Kuro Neko girl could. But I'm not one of them. I care for you a great deal, more than you could ever know. But if you insisted on doing something so... disgusting!" Here she raised her voice a bit "I would cut off our relationship and never speak to you again."

I was wracked with guilt. How could I do this to my best friend! And I had belatedly realized that she wanted to be my girlfriend, too. Maybe even my wife.

I had come here with the intention of telling her everything. But facing her now, she looked almost about to cry. Or possibly hit me again, and on purpose this time. I just couldn't do it. Maybe an eroge protagonist could, but I don't have that kind of courage. I'm just a regular guy. So I ended that serious conversation there, and we switched to lighter talk.

We talked about school, and the weather, and food. She made tea for us after all. We sat there not speaking at all for a while, just resting. I made a vague promise to come again soon, but nothing specific. And then I left.

Even though it had only been 6 months, I sensed that something was still badly wrong in my relationship with her, and I wasn't sure how to fix it. I used to visit her home all the time, and walk to and from school with her. We didn't go to school together anymore, and visiting her house was kind of awkward. We didn't really have any common interests. And now there was another secret that I had to hide from her. She probably sensed that too, or at least that something was still wrong, because as I was leaving she said:

"Don't feel like you have to force yourself to come here if you don't want to."

Coming from her, that basically meant "Don't come here again." It was about the harshest thing she'd ever said to me.

I walked home with tears in my eyes.