She'd said that eye contact was a problem for her.
One of the many side-effects to come along with her unpredictable, generalized anxiety and the label of supposed psychological instability. The inability to meet another person's gaze, thus giving off an impression of indifference or weakness. The former was rude; the latter made you a target. Neither option boded well.
It wasn't her fault. Genetics, substances, and environment provided one hell of a combination when they tangled together. This was the brew she was subjected to, that helped to make up her mental heritage, and then some. Who knew if potentially, it was these factors that left her Quirkless as well? Nobody ever would; her Mother was gone, deceased, and her Father was long gone, of his own choosing.
She'd spent so long walking with her head down...beaten into the dirt with crushing expectations, unnatural reactions, destructive coping measures, unhealthy self-image, trauma. All sorts of slings and arrows, being forced to grow up before her time. Maybe they weren't as bad as some of the things that others had experienced, but they didn't have to be. This wasn't a pissing contest, or a game of oppression. They were bad enough for her. They hurt, and the damage was painfully apparent. That was enough.
And one of those things that the scars had attempted to steal away...was her breathtaking vision.
Those ocean eyes, soft and shy. But when on full display...so inviting. Like a turquoise sunrise, come to life in the middle of a dark, claustrophobic crowd. Welcoming, with arms wide open, every time it was trained on his person. Even if its owner kept to herself, didn't want to make a scene.
She was ridiculously readable, but that wasn't a bad thing. It meant that the kindness reflected across her features was genuine. It meant that when they locked eyes, it was because she wanted to; she was putting in that effort for him, every time.
She'd made the comment before, of his own stare being "too beautiful". He wasn't so sure he'd describe it as such. It was sharp, cool, discerning without effort. Was she merely referring to the colors? Was that what caused her to stop and behold him...
...like she'd just seen God?
No. It went far beyond just surface attraction. He knew this. Well, if they were going to go so far as to invoke deities in this matter, then perhaps, in his own company, he could say it: it was a similar effect cast upon him, looking into that gentle, heavy-lidded gaze.
'Bedroom eyes'. That's what they called them, the ones that looked like hers. He supposed, in certain circumstances – ahem – the moniker was quite fitting. But, more often, he was seeing an array of thoughts reflecting across her chameleon-hued gaze.
The way her brow furrowed, casting just the faintest hint of shadow in the irises. She could be pondering something, or worrying, or even brainstorming – she was the creative type, after all, despite how nervous she presented as. How they changed their color depending on what she wore, was surrounded by, or looked at. How they lit up when she was excited.
Like when he would show up to see her, planned or not. That was always fun.
And then, of course, there were the other ways, to get them to darken...those brought along a special brand of fun all their very own. One that he was more than willing to share with her, again and again and again...
This lack of freedom was absolutely infuriating and vexing to Dabi. It was simply criminal, for such a gaze to be hidden away from the world. She had nothing to be ashamed or scared of. Not anymore. He couldn't win her battles, but he could surely show her the way to fight the fear. To prove her truth: that she was a survivor, and would continue living upon this Earth, because she had just as much right as anyone else to be there.
No mater how much her issues tried to hide it, they couldn't completely lock away her spirit; the part of her that had cried out for change, and found it in him. Along with peace, somehow. But it was that flicker of a flame; that hint of drive, just waiting to burst through. That was one of the things which had attracted him to her. The other, of course, her impossibly warm heart.
Two jailbirds in a cage, of her own crafting, and the guided touch of illness. One, the fiery spark that yearned to break free. The other, an overwhelming sense of compassion. Both held back by the apprehension of rejection. Both shimmering under the surface in her haunted gaze.
Someone sacred. That's who was looking back at him, from the first time they'd crossed paths, until now, where their lives, their very existences, were inextricably meshed and melded into one another. He was somebody who could never be clean; he'd wandered impossibly far from the beaten path, and even if, by some twist of fate, he'd decided to return to the light, he'd never be able to erase those stains and scars of his past.
But he didn't need to. When he was with her...he felt like he could breathe. Like he was pure, no matter where he'd come from, or where he'd been. No matter how many times he strayed into labeled villainous territory. She'd made the choice, to welcome him back, every time, no questions asked. Even if she too, could one day go down right along with him.
Could. Not would. Because he would never allow that to happen. Not at long as he lived. She was all he needed, and he'd protect that sanctuary she offered, protect her, until his dying day. He knew her thoughts ran along the same lines as he, though she was nothing close to a brawler. But, in her own way, she kept him safe. Reminded him of all he'd have to lose, should he be reckless in achieving his ultimate goals...or losing sight of the one he loved.
Love. Yes, he loved her. He wouldn't say it often. But actions spoke louder than words, and he was always willing to put himself on the line, in whatever way, just to prove this point. Words were more her area of expertise anyway...though, she'd shown him just as much of how far she was willing to go for him, through her own gestures and choices.
No matter if they were both condemned for eternity. She would fly down, on those blinding white wings, and regard him in her unblemished, untainted gaze. She was always lifting him up, to share in the sun upon her cloud, even if, one day...those wings might be ripped away, and she too, would go crashing down back to Earth, with him locked securely in her grasp.
Even if he fought against it with all his being. There was no guarantee for the future, no matter if they both gave it their all.
But this mess of a world, would never be able to steal her vision. That stare, those emotions, that everything trained on him and him alone. That pristine resolution, still as yet hidden from the world...but forever there to greet him, no matter how worn and weary, or battered and bloodied he might've been, returning from the battlefield, day in and day out. From every last sin he'd committed, by his own willful choosing.
She'd first offered him her hand, and then her heart. And now, in that heavenly gaze, no matter what lay ahead for them later down the line...
Salvation. Respite. Serenity. Adoration. Devotion. Lust. Love. These were the things she gave him, without hesitation. And, in his own way, he would always pay her back, tenfold. That was what partners did, right? And both of them were in it for the long haul. The angel and the sinner.
Yes...beyond just being his Princess, or a blossom in perpetual, full bloom. An angel. Angel eyes.
What a fitting moniker indeed.
A/N: FINALLY have something to post here. It took a little while, but, at long last, it's finished: a new Chapter for this oneshot series of mine. Shorter than the others, but...this was just where the muse led me.
A bit more introspective and emotional than the last two, I feel, though hopefully, not [too] OOC. I did my best to keep his voice, even as personal as the thoughts are. NGL...I'm too sensitive. I got a tad teary writing this one out.
As always, feedback is welcomed, encouraged, and appreciated. This story is kinda near and dear to my heart, self-indulgent though it might be. So, responses mean a lot to me.
Until next time, take care, everyone, and stay safe.