You know, I have been doing this time god thing for a while, and I still haven't had the opportunity to get some Rest and Relaxation . This quick outing to Sweet Apple Acres should calm my nerves a bit, at least. No?
"How good is this cider?" I ask Twilight and Rainbow Dash. I never had any Equestrian cider before, and I hear it is legendary.
"I don't drink." Twilight said. "Alcohol makes me woozy, and it impairs my magic."
Rainbow Dash smiled: "Oh man, the cider is magical, tastes like heaven. I could go four or five in one sitting. For a mare, that is damn impressive. Back at PonyU, all the colts had drinking contests, and they always invited me, since I was the coolest mare in town. Heh. All the guys think I am so cool for it. If I was you, I would find Big Macintosh and ask him what's up. Rumor has it he has a hoof-pump of cider in his cabin. All the cool colts hang out there. I am sure he can make reasonable accommodation for a dragon, just this once."
Well, good thing I teleported back to Sweet Apple Acres. Looks like there is a welcoming committee already.
"Howdy sugarcubes, how've you been?" Applejack asks Twilight and Rainbow Dash, briefly forgetting who I was.
"All's good. Kronos has never tried your family's cider. I told him it is magical. The Earthlings with the alien watch are coming, too. We have a party tonight!" Rainbow Dash exclaims.
Applejack remembered that I was standing right there, and put on a more diplomatic face. "You've never had cider before? One minute, I am going to get my brother. Hold Up a sec, okay there?" Applejack quickly ran off to find Big Macintosh, and I was wondering who else was going to be at this party.
"Anyways, Celestia will probably be looking for us, I'll tell her you're having a guys night out at the pub. I am sure she won't mind." Twilight said, as she and Rainbow Dash flew off back towards Canterlot.
I still haven't told Twilight about her future ascendancy as a goddess, and I am not sure whether I am allowed to. I can't change an absolute point in time, and if I reveal the future, it is possible it might not occur at all. Anyways, I see who I assume to be Big Macintosh galloping over here, and I could have sworn I saw my unicorn counterpart with him.
"You know this dragon, Kronos? Big Macintosh asked the unicorn.
Oh shit. It is him. This "seeing yourself" thing is weird.
"Uhh, yeah. I am sure Twilight hasn't shut up about every pony in Equestria having a human counterpart. The same applies for earthlings and us. Kronos used to be a person, but was experimented on by Luna, back when she was under Tirek's control. We briefly met a few days ago." The other me explained to Big Macintosh.
"Eyup, that sounds like her, always talking about science and stuff. Anyways, go bring your dragon version over here. We are going to have a contest of strength back at the pub. No time powers, no magic, just regular old grit."
"No powers, huh, that will suck. How am I going to win without the Omnitrix?" Said Ben, who just popped up behind me. I guess Kevin landed the ship a while back.
"If you want to make things fair, I guess you could use the new DNA you acquired to be on even footing with them." I proposed.
That sounded like a good idea. Ben selected the Equestrian DNA sample on his Omnitrix, and transformed into a lime-green pegasus, with the omnitrix symbol acting as his cutie mark.
"What n' Celestia's name did I just witness? That alien do-hickey is weird." Big Macintosh exclaimed.
Hold up, if Ben scanned Twilight's DNA, and she is an alicorn, why did Ben become a green pegasus? I'll ask questions later.
"Anyways, the pub is this way, c'mon lads!" My unicorn counterpart said, leading the way. The four of us walked into the pub. It was very rustic in style, and was quite similar to Applejack's house, which made sense since the pub was on Sweet Apple Acres land. I found a medium sized booth, which, by coincidence, had a hoof-pump of cider built in with glasses at the ready. The other me sat next to me, and Ben sat next to Big Macintosh
"Alright, everypony. Wait, forgot the other Kronos is a dragon. Nevermind, you get the point. Here is how this contest of strength will work. Arm/hoof wrestling. Whoever loses drinks a glass. The contest continues until you are too inebriated to participate. Trust me, I know when you are. I am a heavyweight." Big Macintosh said. "To even the playing field, y'all drink one cider before we start. It is a family recipe." He said with pride. "Just a quick question, y'all of legal drinking age? Equestrian law puts the age at 18." We all nodded. "Alright, just don't want my flank sued, you know? Cider's on the Apple Family. Enjoy!
We each took a glass and pumped some.
"To whatever the hay you three are doing now, and to friendly competition!" Big Macintosh toasted. We toasted in response, and drank.
"Holy cow, this is some good stuff, I tell you. Like, even where I grew up in New York, which has plenty of apple orchards, doesn't even compare to this!" I said. "Applejack says there is something about the gene pool of your apples?" I asked.
"Yeah, the Professor Paradox wannabe is right. What makes this so good?" Ben asked.
"Well, you see, back in the day, well before even my Granny Smith was a filly, my ancestors discovered a new breed of apple, called the Zap Apple, which had several unique health and even magical qualities. We isolated the genes for it, and made our whole orchard Zap Apples. We even started exporting them to Earth a few weeks ago, after Celestia signed the Earth-Equestria trade agreement. I am sure you earthlings will be eating em up in no time!" Big Mac said.
"Alright, Mr. Time God. Why don't you go first? I'm pairing you with Tennyson for the first round. Winner faces me. I am the undefeated champion; well almost. Applejack beat me one time. Anyways, good luck!
Ooh. I honestly don't know who will win this one. I put my right arm out, and Ben put out his left hoof. We then interlocked our "hands"
"Ready, Nathan?" Ben asked.
"Ready!" I replied, beginning to apply pressure to Ben's body. I kept my right arm on the table, and Ben did his best to do the same, in his new alien form.
"Damn it, Tennyson. You are good. What do they teach you at the Plumber Academy?" I ask, not struggling yet, but annoyed that the bout is taking as long as it is.
Big Macintosh and the other me started their round, which ended in a decisive victory for Big Macintosh. "Even though you lost, I must concede that you have an excellent form, like most colts I do this with last a tenth as long as you did. Congrats!" Well, I guess that means alternate me needs another round. He downed it in one gulp. "Alright, I want to go up against myself after Tennyson finishes his round. That alright, Macintosh?" He nodded in approval.
After five minutes of struggling with this contest, I finally put in a bit more effort, and I lowered Ben's hoof to the table.
"Winner is Dragon Kronos. The two time anomalies will now battle in a true test of time!" Macintosh said with glee.
"Tennyson, you did well. Good job!" I said, very sportsmanlike as his transformation timed out. He took another round.
Okay, this is going to be good. The two of us prepare to begin.
"Ready, go!" Big Macintosh said as the two of us began. The entire pub quickly gathered around our booth to see the two Elements of Time (as Celestia has affectionately called us) duke it out in friendly competition.
"It would be a shame to see the Hybrid lose." Taunted the other me. I just ignored that one, even though it was a low blow. This unicorn variant of myself is quite strong. My arm begins to give out a bit, and unicorn Kronos uses the opportunity to push my arm to the table."
The pub burst into cheers. One of Equestria's own beat the actual time god (although technically, he was a time god as well).
"Damn it, I lost. Good job, other me!" I said as I took another round. It seems as if the cider gets tastier every round.
"Alright, 1 win for each of the time people. Now, I know I might be a mere earth pony, but I can hold my own, even against an Element of Honesty." He put out his hoof one final time, beckoning me to challenge him.
"Nothing is at stake, Kronos, just braggin' rights and another round. Good luck!" Big Mac said as we began the ultimate round of the test.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were hovering over the window of the pub, watching the contests ensue.
"Woah. Kronos is going up against Big Mac, he is going to lose, big time!" Rainbow Dash told Fluttershy. Fluttershy giggled: "I don't know this dragon that well, but I do know he isn't a quitter. Don't count him out yet."
"Hey, what are you two darlings looking at?" Rarity asked. She was actually teaching a little human girl how to sew, and was walking past the pub by chance.
"Kronos is going up against Big Mac in hoof wrestling. He is going to lose, big time. Time god or not!" Rainbow Dash said, laughing. "What kind of a person goes up against Big Mac himself?"
This quickly piqued Rarity's interest, and she quickly galloped over to the closest window to watch the contest. "Come on, dragon, kick his flank!" Rarity shouted.
I heard someone shouting, but I didn't know who it was. Regardless, it got me to focus more on the task at hand, and for the first time in our round, we actually reached equilibrium at the table. The crowd started shouting "Kronos! Kronos!" over and over again. Besides that one time against Applejack a few months ago, nobody has ever seen Big Macintosh this close to losing.
"You look desperate, Mac, are you worried?" I asked with a hint of sarcasm. Big Macintosh didn't respond, but it was enough to distract his grip for a moment. I used my leverage, and pushed his hoof to the table.
The crowd burst into bacchian levels of ecstasy. Drinks were spilling all over the floor, and I was quickly hoisted into the air by a group of unicorns, who were throwing me around like a ragdoll, amazed that I bested Big Mac in hoof wrestling!
"Not bad, Smith, not bad…" Big Mac said to me.
"Hah! I told you Kronos would win!" Fluttershy said with a smirk. "Did I not say the same thing?" Rarity quipped. "He is SO handsome. I just can't with him." Rarity said.
"Uh Rarity, Kronos is not interested. He told me already. He doesn't date outside his original species, so he is looking for a human woman. It's an Earth custom. Sorry." Rainbow Dash said with a grin.
"I can dream, dammit!" Rarity said angrily.
Back in the pub, Big Mac went to the back and pulled out this old trophy "Hoof Wrestling Champion".
"This was mine back in the day. It has a new owner. Congrats to Nathan Smith of Earth!" Big Mac said.
"I didn't tell you my real name, Big Mac. How did you know?" I asked, a bit puzzled, but proud that I won the tourney.
"Uh, Celestia published a bulletin thanking you for saving Equestria. There was a huge party, I think that's when you met me." Said the other Kronos. That makes sense.
"Anyways, I have some good stories about my time back at PonyU. It was something else entirely. There was this one mare who was so cute that-"
"I am afraid we might have to put a pin in that, Macintosh." Said a regal voice who just opened the door of the pub.
"Luna, what in god's name are you doing here?" I said, powering up a bit. I am still suspicious, but also a bit drunk, so…
"I have urgent news. Your parents are in danger!"
"Uh oh!" Big Mac said.