As I have stated before, due to my odd upbringing and time god abilities, I can see past the fourth wall. For the uninitiated, this means that I am able to either interact or be aware of the audience reading this story. To avoid any major paradoxes, I tend to not use this ability unless absolutely necessary. At most, I am just aware that I am a character narrating a story to an unknown audience, but Pinkie Pie, on the other hand, is less concerned with this.

"You called? Kronos?" Pinkie Pie says, breaking into my narration.

"Goddammit, Pinkie! I was just explaining to the readers what the fourth wall is, and how you can't really mess with it that much." Seriously, I am trying to make a point here, and Pinkie Pie just comes around and messes with the continuity.

"Well, if you ARE explaining the fourth wall, why don't you talk about BoredNerd2003 for a bit? They are so cool! I mean, the ability to create universes by writing! Even Celestia can't do that!" Pinkie says, trying to do a shameless promotion of our Creator.

"Look, I don't know if I have explained this to you yet, but BoredNerd2003, like myself, has very little concern for messing up the continuity of our universe.

"Whatever, BoredNerd2003! Hello there, do I have to come over to your house and fix things?"

Um, Don't you even dare-. Ah shit, what are you doing in the Dimension Above All? I am trying to write a good story, and you are just going around and screwing things up.

Wait, Pinkie Pie can go INTO the author's dimension? How powerful is she? I can't even do that. New headcanon, Pinkie Pie, is the strongest being in the universe. Bar none.

"Um, I broke into your dimension because I was explaining the fourth wall to your readers, and I need to prove my power. Here, I am going to take over your job for a bit."

What in god's name are you doing-stop! Stop!

Hi there, It's Pinkie Pie! I borrowed BoredNerd2003's pen. Now I am in charge! What am I going to do now with supreme power, greater than even Alien X?

"What the fuck is going on anymore? Can we just get to the time travel part already?" This is getting out of hand. Do I have to use more than 50% of my power? Maybe I can break into the author's dimension, too? In fact, that is exactly what I am going to do.

Alright, Kronos here, what the fuck are you two doing? I am going to fucking retcon you Pinkie if you don't get into character in three seconds. One...Two….Th

Okay, Okay… Here, BoredNerd2003. Take your stupid pen and write my destiny.

Okay, that was weird. I am putting you two back in character, or I am going to call in the big guns. Kronos, keep narrating to the audience in your universe. Pinkie Pie, BEHAVE!!! BoredNerd2003 OUT!

Okay, that was very meta, to say the least. I am glad the author put Pinkie Pie in her place, even though she almost got the power to rewrite reality as we know it.

"Anyways...Now that we dealt with THAT. What year do you think we have to travel to in order to find the Ascalon?" I ask Pinkie Pie, who seems more reserved than usual.

"Well, I would try 1096 CE, in the United Kingdom. That is when the first crusade started." Pinkie explains.

I am not going to even question how she knows about human history. This day has been so weird already. I think about the exact date and location that Pinkie Pie gave me, and I conjure a portal in spacetime.

"Okay, here is the portal to 1096 CE on Earth. Please, for the love of Celestia, don't do anything stupid. I am begging you here."

Pinkie Pie laughs this whole thing off: "Yeah yeah, find the short grey alien dude, throw him a party, and rewrite history. All in a day's work for me. In fact, maybe I should go to the Mirror Pool before we leave."

"The Mirror Pool? No way in hell I am letting you use that thing on Earth. Do you want to get yourself killed? Besides, you can't even transform into a human to blend in, unless… Do you care if I look ahead into your future for a sec. I think it could help."

She nods in agreement. So, I look ahead into Pinkie Pie's future, and I see a few interesting things.

First, in around 9 years time, once Twilight fully ascends to godhood, she is part of a Council of Friendship, along with the other Element bearers. More interestingly, it seems that in only 24 months, a rather bizarre event happens, where a portal to a similar Earth is found (not to be confused with my Earth), and the Element bearers on that planet are basically Magical Girls in a shoujo anime, with pony powers. It's weird, to say the least. If there is a point in spacetime where Pinkie Pie exists in human form, and Pinkie can break the fourth wall, who's to say that THIS Pinkie Pie cannot do that herself.

"Umm, are you aware of this alternate Earth where you ponies exist as magical girls like in an anime?" I ask her, assuming she knows the answer already.

"Uh, yeah! All my friends are in a band, it's cool!" I hate to admit it, but she might be right. Bands ARE cool. Frankly, if I could start a band with Alicorn Kronos and Paradox, I would call it "Turning Back the Clock".

"Okay. Can I trust you to use the power of meta to make yourself human for a brief visit?" I ask, skeptically.

"Meta, I don't need meta to do that. You know I can mess with physics to achieve my goals, evident in the party cannon and reality warping of balloons."

She blinks, and turns into a human woman around my age. She still has pink skin, and a tattoo on her arm matching her cutie mark.. I guess her reality bending isn't perfect?

"Okay, let's go find Azimuth and rewrite history!" Pinkie exclaims, as she jumps into the portal carefree of what is to happen next. I snap my fingers and turn into a human as well, and for good measure, I give myself clothing to match the era. The armor of a Medieval English knight and a sword to boot! Thank you Twilight for those 10 years of frozen time reading!

I run through the portal, and see the Medieval English landscape in flames. A dragon is terrorizing the countrymen, and his power level is incredibly high. I sense that this dragon's form is repressed, and a true, more powerful form is hiding away somewhere.

"Come, brave sir knight, aid me in slaying this foul beast!" A man says, wielding a sword with immense power, definitely not from earth.

Shit, that's probably the Ascalon! That doesn't answer who this guy is.