Chapter 1

I own nothing.

Sansa

The day of my wedding was supposed to be the happiest of my life, but like everything else, the Lannister's took that from me too. There was no celebration, most of my family was already gone, and because of that alone, I found I couldn't allow myself to feel that day. To experience it with the agony that I truly felt or else I fear what would have become of me at the hands of the lions, and so I was only numb. I didn't let myself feel anything else especially as the ceremony itself took place. I had been barely present the whole time, so much so that I hadn't heard when he asked me to kneel, and now, we were man and wife.

"I wish I could fly away from here" I thought everything within my bones seeming to shiver especially as the Septons words bellowed all around us reaching every ear, so that all would know that I was now forever tied to this man.

"Let it be known that Sansa of the House Stark and Tyrion of the House Lannister are one heart, one flesh, one soul. Cursed be he who would seek to tear them asunder. In the sight of the seven, I hereby seal these two souls, binding them as one for eternity" exclaimed the Septon, the first time I felt anything that day was when he took my hand. He held it so tightly as if to remind me that I was still a prisoner in this place despite the words he'd spoken to me before I entered this place. I kept blinking my eyes as if trying to wake up from some nightmare, but this one never ended. It just went on and on as if waiting for that moment when I couldn't wear my pretty façade anymore, waiting for that moment when I was meant to die within this waking nightmare, and I wanted this day to be that day. Yet, the nightmare still never ended, and it only went on. It was a cruel reminder that I was still just a little bird waiting to be eaten by the lions lounging all around me.

"Now, I should be celebrating, but there is nothing to be joyous about. This is not the match I was meant for" I thought as we entered the feast meant to celebrate our wedding, watching the people as they danced around me, and always feeling the eyes of my enemies on me.

"And now, soon enough anyway, I will be forced to share a bed with a Lannister. He will deflower me and make me have his children" I thought it with nausea running quickly through my gut, my anxiety over it all only lessoning once, as I looked into Joffrey's face, suddenly realizing the only great fortune of this moment, for I knew he could have taken Tyrion's place on this day, and looking at my husband as he swallowed another cupful of wine, I was glad at the sight of him for the first time. Because Joffrey would have made me wary now. He would have made me suffer in front of everyone today whereas Tyrion failed to notice my presence at all. He let me dance though he couldn't dance with me himself. I wondered as I sat by his side again, if he was feeling any of what I did now, if maybe the wine was just another way for him to make himself numb on this dreadful day, but I never dared ask him. He was a Lannister, after all, and I thought I knew the answer to that thought. Yet, as I kept looking at him from time to time, I found that he intrigued me more then I cared to admit, but that feeling didn't feel right especially now that he was my husband. All while I kept waiting for what I knew was coming. I could see it in Joffrey's face whenever he caught my eye. He was waiting for it, just as I was, but my shame would be his joy. Joffrey was waiting to announce for the bedding ceremony to begin and at the thought, I tried to bring back that numbness from moments ago, but it seemed to have left me. The ceremony was tradition, one my mother had never had the opportunity to prepare me for, and on that day, I was all too aware of that as I waited for Joffrey to sound the call. I tried not to think about it then, to focus on something happier, but nothing like that existed for me anymore. The bedding ceremony kept looming in my mind, always there, but time seemed adamant that my anxiety should be at its peak, for the looming moment only remained just that. Yet, as I waited on it, I could clearly picture it in my mind. I could feel the hands on me already, the clothes leaving my body, and hungry eyes seeking to take my innocence from me themselves. I felt the air beneath my feet as they carried me to the lion's den, so Tyrion could consummate this marriage, whether that was my desire or by force. I was more aware of that then ever the longer I thought of that until not even the sight of my new husband eased anything inside of me.

I tried to make myself want it. I tried to picture the moment itself and tell myself I wanted it, and that I would enjoy it. Not even that worked though, for all I heard was my mother's voice, and the fleeting things she had told me about what to expect on my wedding night. Lie still, let him do what he pleases, and soon enough it will be over. That didn't seem good enough suddenly, which only served to remind me once more that I was just a prisoner who must do what her captors willed of her, but that didn't help my anxiety the more my thoughts played around in my head. Yet when the time came for the thing I'd spent, so much time dreading, it appeared that my worry was all for naught. For when Joffrey called for the bedding ceremony, Tyrion's voice came to overrule the idea immediately, and even after threatening Joffrey, the ceremony never took place. Yet, with the ease of one worry that left the other. The consummation of our marriage which was just as worrisome as the bedding ceremony itself. Especially as my new husband took my hand to hasten my way out of the hall, his drunken stumble almost endearing as he did so, but it still didn't lesson the beat of my heart as he led me away.

As we walked, I prepared myself once more for something I had no choice in, but once the door to our chambers was closed once again, my fears were assuaged. He was drunk, but it wasn't until that moment that I realized that he was as forced in the matter as I. He continued to drink then only asking that I call him by his name as he drank, perching himself on a piece of furniture, so he could look at me.

"Astoundingly long" whispered Tyrion breaking our silent stare.

"What is he doing?" I thought then as we looked at one another, I had no idea what he meant until he continued to go on about my neck as if he'd never seen one before, I think he was trying to assuage my nerves, but it wasn't working as everything that had happened that day seemed to bristle invisible in the air.

"He's trying to be kind to me, by putting it off this way. He's trying to do as he said he would, but…I wish he wouldn't. I wish we could just be done with it, so that it could finally be over" I thought as he went on still, his eyes always on me as he seemed to appraise me, so that I knew that he wanted me, but still he made no move to claim his new rights as my husband.

In fact, he didn't do any of the things I had been expecting, and with his reputation, I'd been expecting the worst from him even with all his promises. I felt a moments guilt for that especially as he sat there still only looking at me and I knew he was trying to make this easier on me. Tyrion was never crass or vulgar, he didn't force himself on me the way I knew Joffrey would have by now, but he was protecting me. He was being the man I'd always pictured myself marrying, the type of man my father was, and yet, he was a Lannister which went against everything he seemed to represent now. It was an anomaly especially as we faced each other in that moment.

"How old are you, exactly?" exclaimed Tyrion a mere heartbeat after he'd been going on about my neck.

"Is he avoiding the consummation of this marriage too" I wondered as he waited for my answer, the sound of his voice the only thing in the room since the moment we had entered it, but I quickly set that aside wondering if perhaps he just liked the sound of his own voice.

"Fourteen" I whispered; my answer seemed to make him all the more thoughtful until he suddenly finished the last of his wine and made it to his feet.

"My lord father has commanded me to consummate this marriage" said Tyrion then, his voice held no pride or bravado, not the way another might have, and I knew his true feelings by the look on his face.

"And yet, you don't wish to follow that command, you would disobey it" I thought then knowing completely that his will was as hopeless here as my own. That Tyrion didn't ask for this marriage just as he'd said before. He was a prisoner, one of a much higher standing, but a prisoner, nonetheless. If the choice had been his, he would never have married me or touched me in the way that was inevitable on this day. I found I suddenly liked him more as our true circumstances came to light. I suddenly knew why he had to be drunk.

He drank during the feast while I remained silent because he always knew this moment was coming. He went for the wine as soon as the door behind us closed because he still didn't have the nerve to do this horrid thing that had been assigned him. I found I respected him more than I had.

"Perhaps it will make it better" I thought as I accepted the cup he offered, drinking the watered-down wine quickly, far more quickly than I should have, but finding it made my head fuzzy though I couldn't drink as much as he could, so its affects barely registered enough to make this moment any better. I could barely drink any at all before I found myself walking past him to the bedside.

"He's watching me. That's good, I can't wait anymore, this just needs to be over, once and for all" I thought trying to steady my breathing as I kept my back to him as he watched me undress for the first time. I removed my clothes slowly, not for seductions sake, but because my nerves wouldn't allow me to move any faster. I could sense that he wanted me to look at him, but that wasn't possible, not then, on that day that had been such a trial, but he didn't say a word as my dress left my shoulders until I was only in my shift.

I couldn't look at him, maybe because my mind kept going elsewhere, and it had nothing to do with him. In that moment, I couldn't stop thinking about fate and destiny and the life that the gods had dealt me. I kept seeing the faces of my father, my mother, my sister Arya even, and I was all too aware that the hands of fate were once again not on my side. That time could not reverse itself and for a moment, I closed my eyes, and I knew there was no more putting it off. I had to face this moment and with that thought, I opened my eyes again. I had wanted this, to come to Kings Landing, but it had all led up to this. Suddenly, I was reminded of the day my lord father died, and I felt something in me shiver. Because I was more aware than I had ever been while he lived that he was no longer that ever looming presence in my life, for I knew he wouldn't have allowed this day to happen, but then again, he wouldn't have allowed any of this to happen. My fate was not his to define anymore and I missed him deeply in that moment as I prepared for my wedding night. Time seemed to pass then, all while these ever-fleeting thoughts kept sweeping around in my head, but Tyrion never ushered me along as he watched me. He waited patiently as if sensing that my thoughts were heavy. I was grateful for that as I reentered this moment that we were to share. My breath seemed to be swept from my lungs then as I prepared to look at him.

For the first time, I dared to look at him. He stood there staring at me, I could see that he was almost in awe of me, of my bravery as he stared.

"Lie still, let him do as he pleases, and wait for it to be over" I thought then as I reached for the top of my shift, beginning to remove it too. I had the first pleasant thought about him in that moment, my eyes still on him. For I was always aware that it could have been, so much worse than this.

That no other man would have waited this way or if things had gone as planned, if Joffrey were my husband that the marriage would already have been consummated. In that moment, I found myself grateful for Tyrion even as I always knew him for a Lannister. He kept standing there as I started to remove the last of my clothes, looking at me with the eyes of a man, but the soul of a wounded animal. I knew we were both trapped in that moment, I knew that more then anything, but when he spoke, I wished he hadn't. I wanted this moment to be over, but when he stopped me, he made it so I couldn't move.

"Stop, I can't…I could, I would—" exclaimed Tyrion, he had lost his usual skill with words, and I found I felt sorry for him.

"What about your father?" I said it with a voice hard as iron, my heart pounding in my chest even as I knew the same thing that I knew he did too. The longer we drew this out the worse I knew it would be in the end. His family would ensure this marriage was consummated one way or another. Especially if they found that this night was not spent as it was decreed it should be. Yet, when he looked at me, I knew he didn't care, and I found I respected him for his own brand of bravery.

I was relying on him to be as brave as I and it was long after he had interrupted anything I had wished to say that I realized that he was. He was disobeying his father, an act that was as brave as what I had done, and after he collapsed on the chaise lounge, I watched him. He had said he wouldn't touch me until I wanted him to, but I wasn't sure I ever would. Yet even as I was thinking that I was still looking at him, and the last thought I had before I closed my eyes was that I could learn to live with him.