Sooo during my lovely hour commute this morning, this song came on and wham! I was like omg, Ryuga and Hikaru. Songfic. Now. So this was how I spent my downtime at work today during busy spells lol. Anyway, song is "Remember When" by Avril Lavigne! Highly recommend listening to it while reading this; it's a great song anyway. More of a break-up thing, but I thought this might be an interesting take on it. Either way, this is still not a happy oneshot. Let me know what you think and enjoy!
Hikaru found herself staring up at the shady apartment building that practically begged to be condemned. Broken red-orange shutters barely defied gravity as they clung to their hinges. Most of the windows had their blinds drawn. Yellowy orange paint peeled on every side of the building. Untamed ivy slowly creeped up the walls, long since maintained.
Once, this had been her happy place.
She drew a deep breath, and a long, defeated sigh escaped her. She dug through her tote bag for the key before walking up the stairs to the second floor. Whoever had painted the place had interesting taste in color schemes. The stairs were faded blue. The building was still operational, but she couldn't be certain how much longer that would last. She passed one the doors, hearing laughter of children coming from inside. What would happen to them if this place closed down?
It didn't matter. This was her last trip back. She'd never return again.
Her throat felt scratchy and raw at the thought, no matter how she tried not to dwell on it. Every time she did, her airflow felt restricted, like she'd been bobbing in the water for a while screaming through the entire ordeal and was about to go under for the last time. Somehow, she made herself move forward. Her feet felt like they weighed a hundred pounds and her vision blurred at the edges. Her destination was the last door at the end of the rickety porch. She looked across at the expanse of trees that separated the building from the main road committing the view to memory. She gently rested her hand on the railing for a moment. Half of it had rotted away. She expected it to crumble under the pressure, though it did hold.
She stuck her key in once she reached the door, almost expecting it not to work. It'd been a long time since anyone had visited. For all she knew, it had been rented out to someone new, the locks replaced.
The handle turned, creaking slowly as battered hinges in desperate need of oil whined and squeaked. Feeling heavy as she mentally steeled herself for what awaited, she stepped inside.
Her breath caught.
It was exactly as it had been when she'd last left it.
Rumpled white sheets were strewn across the bed, completely unmade. The comforter lay on the ground at the front of the bed. Pillows were shoved haphazardly on the couch, which faced a TV that had never seemed to work quite right. A pile of clothes sat untouched in a laundry basket off in a corner. The kitchen was directly across from her on the far side of the room. In its center, she recognized the wooden island and its two stools she'd so often eaten meals at. Dishes were piled neatly in the sink, the only clean area in the entire space. A fine layer of dust coated everything. It'd been months since anyone had last been inside.
Her shoulders sagged. It just didn't seem real.
The one-room apartment had never looked like anything special, but it was special. She knew every inch of the room. In the too short time she'd spent in it, she'd come to love it.
She couldn't imagine not coming back. She glanced over at the chest of drawers, the reason she'd returned in the first place. Emotions came slamming back to her, so strong she staggered, reaching out and grabbing the couch- the only thing close enough- to steady herself.
Ryuga's apartment was one of the last real connections she had to him.
She dragged herself over to the couch to sit, pulling her knees in close and hugging them. An emptiness had begun to settle over her. Outside, she heard a soft rumble of thunder growing in the distance. She remembered the first time he had brought her here, shortly after the world championships...
As a bit of a former vagabond, Hikaru wasn't unused to finding herself in strange spots. However, this had to be one of the strangest she'd ever found herself in. She openly ogled the dilapidated building, struggling to keep her mouth from hanging open like a fool.
"C'mon," Ryuga's voice was gentle as he took her hand, something she'd never expected of him either. The whole thing had been a whirlwind.
Last anyone knew, she had been terrified at the mere sight of him, a fact her boss Ryo was very much aware of. Shortly after, things began to change.
Ryo had sent her out on a quick assignment to what remained of the old Dark Nebula Headquarters after rumors of suspected activity. He assured her she would be safe, it was broad daylight and she just needed to check the outside of the building. It was a five-minute task, a quick once-over. After her assessment, then he'd send in a new group to really investigate things if he thought the venture worthwhile.
While walking around the back, she'd frozen at the sight of Ryuga, staring upward and lost in thought. He noticed her before she had a chance to quietly retreat.
Of all people, he had started the conversation from a distance. Her mind screamed at her to run, but she'd been glued to the spot, betrayed by her body. As she slowly came to realize she wasn't in danger, she drew closer. He could've taken her out in an instant. He'd done it before.
But he didn't.
Ever since that chance encounter, their lives became entangled more than ever. Originally, she'd hoped he'd just become a fading memory of a difficult time in her life.
She'd never imagined she'd fall in love with him.
She hadn't told anyone: it was their secret. Madoka couldn't know. The boys were hopeless when it came to anything outside of blading. And she certainly wasn't about to tell Ryo, who found Ryuga misguided thanks to Doji's influence and was oddly sympathetic despite the destruction caused- Ryuga would have despised him that. The last thing he wanted was anyone to feel bad for him. Their lives fatefully intertwined once more, there was no stopping the trajectory. All too quickly, Ryuga had become her rock. Hours stolen together may have been few and far in between up until now, but they were inseparable.
So when he'd taken her the apartment they now stood before, his secret place, she knew something unbreakable had forged between them, binding them. Things had changed. Ryuga never stayed in one place for long, though he'd been spending more time in the area than ever, and she liked to believe it was thanks to her. Still, she'd grown accustomed to him disappearing for more than a week at a time. It was his way.
The apartment had been something he'd gotten back in his Dark Nebula days. Some days, he informed her, Doji was beyond insufferable, to the point where he needed to get away. So he'd found the cheapest room available, where he could escape for a night when he so desperately needed to. He couldn't be gone too long, though; Doji would get suspicious. Nowadays, he simply used it as a home base whenever he was in the area.
Ryuga unlocked the door and handed her the key. Hikaru looked at him questioningly.
"It's for you," he explained. "I have a second."
"You want me to have a key?" Hikaru asked in disbelief.
He nodded, then almost looked shy, unheard of for Ryuga. The expression quickly passed. "In case you ever need to get away. And so you can find me if you need me."
Hikaru's mouth formed a perfect "O" as she stood there, unable to react. He pulled her inside.
He kissed her then, and somehow she knew she'd be spending a lot of time there. It was going to be more than a second home to her. It would be her true home. Though utterly undecorated, it embodied Ryuga perfectly.
The door shut behind them and the rest was history.
Hikaru wasn't sure when the tears had started to drip, but it must've been in tandem with the drizzling rain. Furiously, she wiped her eyes, blinking angrily.
She'd been putting off coming back. She knew it would hurt. But it needed to be done and she needed to be strong.
She tried to imagine coming back after this as she forced herself to her feet, once again on unsteady legs. It wasn't the same. Besides, any day now the landlord would decide they were tired of rent not coming in anymore and put the room back on the market. She could easily afford to keep it on her WBBA salary, but why?
Another tear leaked out and this time she didn't fight it. Even if was a final attachment to him, the apartment was nothing without Ryuga. Just a small studio apartment in a dirty run-down building.
She walked over to the chest and opened bottom drawer, the one that held her things. She'd left a number of clothes behind, always assuming she'd be back and knowing it was good to have extras on hand. The other drawers were empty. Ryuga had taken anything of value to him- which wasn't much, admittedly- with him last he'd left. Now any signs of her would be gone, too.
The last time she'd been here had been the last time he'd been here. She'd felt something was different from the moment she stepped through the door. A full bag rested on his bed and he stood at the door, waiting.
In an instant, she'd comes to terms with the knowledge it was going to be a long time before she saw him again.
"I can't stay," he'd told her, cupping her face in his hands. "I need to keep going."
She'd swallowed hard, looking deep into his liquid gold eyes that gave nothing away. "I understand." She'd always known the day would come when he needed to stretch his wings again. She couldn't keep him here forever; he needed to resume his training. But she'd always assumed he would come back. It hadn't really been good-bye, she'd told herself. He'd kissed her long and slow as they stood outside the door in an embrace a short time later when they went their separate ways.
Then the star fragments had hit and changed everything.
She shut the drawer a little harder than she'd meant to, coming out of her reverie as she rose and brushed dust off her legs. She shoved the last of her clothes into her bag and turned toward the door, pausing as she turned to give the sad room one last look.
Thunder boomed and lightning flashed outside the window. Hikaru sighed as rain came pounding down, realizing she'd be staying a bit longer than intended. She had places to be, though none of them particularly pressing. Madoka would understand. The truth of her and Ryuga's relationship had come tumbling out in the end, even if it left everyone more confused than anything. She didn't have to explain herself, especially now, nor did she want to.
She walked over to the bedside table, figuring with the extra time she could check for anything else she had left behind unaware.
The table had a single drawer, which housed nothing save a small square of paper. Hikaru flipped it over. Her eyes widened and she felt her heart tighten. A tiny gasp squeaked out of her.
It was a photograph, the sole one they had of the two of them taken by a waterfall. During an excursion together up north, they'd found it while hiking. Hikaru had taken a few days off for "vacation" and Ryuga, well he didn't have to worry about that sort of thing. He paid for rent with what money he'd been able to snag from Dark Nebula without Doji noticing. Other than that, he lived off the grid.
They looked so happy. Hikaru's own smile beamed up at her.
She had a copy of the photo, of course, and Ryuga had one, too. He'd taken it with him when he left- she'd seen him pack it. More disturbingly, it'd been found amongst his things, one of his only possessions. That meant this was the original. He'd claimed it had gotten lost ages ago, but all this time it had been here. He'd kept it safe.
Hikaru collapsed onto the bed, unable to control her tears any longer as they ran in rivulets down her cheeks. She gripped the bedsheets in one hand, gently holding the photo in the other, afraid of ruining it.
Ryuga was gone.
Gone.
Gone.
But she was still here. She and the room were the only thing that remained, yet it was all wrong. Incomplete.
Without him, the apartment had lost its life, its vibrancy. Everything that had made it something was lost. All she had left of him were memories and this photo. She couldn't go on pretending any longer. Her despair wasn't to be ignored, the raw emotions that had been haunting her since that day too visceral. There was nothing left to hide behind. She would never come back again; he would never come back again. She would never be the same. Through it all, she would never forget, nor could she ever bring herself to regret any of it.
Amid the pouring rain outside, the droplets sliding down the window, the flashes and booms, Hikaru curled up on the bed and sobbed.