A/N: Hey guys! I'm back! With time to spare this month! Hope you like it!
Here ya go:
She wanted to get away. To pick a direction and just start walking. Walk without thinking about what would happen next or how she would get back. If she even wanted to come back.
Maybe she was running, running the way she had her entire life. From parents and friends and towns and cities.
And maybe that's why she never really felt at peace anywhere, because she knew nothing would stay because she would run. That's what she did.
So here she is, in this city, the one that had the earliest bus, sitting in a Starbucks by the station wondering what now.
That was always the problem with running. At some point she would have to ask what now. She always answered it by running some more.
So she picks up her coffee and walks out the door and heads in the direction of the big buildings and tall skyscrapers.
It's something new at least.
And the city is big and busy and she's surrounded by people and she has never felt more alone.
She walks until she can't anymore, until she's facing miles upon miles of wavy water that seems to mock her because suddenly she is forced to stop. Forced to think about the things she doesn't want to think about. Forced to deal. Forced to stop running.
She sighs and sits down on the edge of the concrete and lets her legs dangle above the green-ish blue water.
"Spare any change ma'am?"
The voice startles her and before she's done turning around he's already speaking again.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
His eyes are like the water. That's the first thought that registers in her head, the second is that he stopped talking and is now staring at her.
"I'm sorry," he repeats softly. His eyes seem to be searching her, and she feels exposed.
She looks away and mumbles something that vaguely sounds like it's okay.
"Are you okay?"
That's the last thing she expects him to say and she must have heard wrong but when she looks back up he's still there with a small sincere smile on his face.
God, this random guy who just asked her for change is legitimately asking if she's okay. When was the last time someone asked that? What was the answer?
The shock wears off and she draws within herself, ready to close herself off to whatever vulnerable moment she just had.
"Fine, fine." She replies hastily.
The guy doesn't seem to buy it. He sort of frowns at her and his hair falls into his face a bit. He looks young, she notices, around her age.
"Why do you care anyway? You just want some change."
She winces as soon as the words are out and hates herself when he flinches a little. Somehow, he manages a smile.
"I didn't mean to prod, you just…looked a little lost."
Fuck. She hates this feeling of guilt, this feeling of vulnerability, she hates how right his words are.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you." And she is genuinely sorry.
He waves it off. "It's okay, I've heard worse. You're the first one to apologize about it though."
He sits down as he talks and she's officially in a conversation with a random guy, in a random city, by a random lake.
And it's this random guy who asks her if she's okay.
She laughs a little at the irony of it all.
"What's so funny?" he asks.
"Everything."
He tilts his head to the side in question and his hair falls into his face again.
She sighs, fuck it, he doesn't seem to be a danger. Then again, not all people who are dangerous do.
"You were right," she says instead of answering the unspoken question.
"About?"
"That I was lost, am lost."
He nods at the sentiment and there is a moment of silence.
"Why?"
"Why what?" She'd zoned out staring at the waves.
"Why are you lost? Do you know?"
She takes a moment to contemplate. He's looking at her with intrigue and she needs to look away again.
"Because I run away," she finally answers.
"Why?" he asks again. He's turned his gaze to the water now and she takes a moment to study him. Long black hair, dirty jeans, a well worn jacket, and asks deep questions. Who was this guy?
She realizes she hasn't answered yet.
"Because it's easier than staying."
And the truth comes out. Because that's what it is isn't it. It would hurt to stay, and deal and think and feel. It's easier to run.
"Yeah," he replies, sighing deep and she wonders what his story is.
"Yeah, I get that," he continues, "but sometimes I wonder…."
The sentence drifts off and there's just the water, them and the sounds of the city in the back.
"Wonder what?" she finally asks.
"If maybe running is harder than staying."
"What do you mean?" She thinks back to the situation she had ran from and thinks that running definitely seems easier. She doesn't want to remember the look on his face.
"There is no peace in running," he says, "at some point you've run enough that you end up running from running and it becomes one giant mess."
She lets his words sink in and he's right. Plain and simple, he is right.
"And then you're just left with hurt," she whispers softly.
He turns to look at her, his eyes suddenly seem drowning. "Yeah."
There's more silence, broken by a cyclist who rang her bell.
"Takes one to know one," she says in hopes of prompting his story. He's definitely the most unique person she's ever met.
He laughs like she did earlier, and she knows he gets it.
"I did it. I ran. I ran till even running brought me pain."
"What did you do?" she asks because she feels like she might be getting to that point.
"I stayed."
He turns back to the waves. "I stayed because I had no other choice."
"And?"
"And now I'm asking for change."
The words fall flatly on the conversation and it's a punch in the gut.
He touches her hand and she jolts. She looks back to him ready to pull her hand away but the look on his face stills her.
He looks her dead in the eye. "Don't wait till you have no other choice." His eyes are like the waves they are watching and she feels the weight of the words.
She nods slowly and he retracts his hand from hers and offers a small sad smile.
He moved to get up, leaving her sitting there frozen.
He's almost too far away before she finally unfreezes and yells.
"Hey!"
He stops and turns his head back.
She scrambles up from her position, legs numb, and runs over. Grabbing her bag, she pulls out a twenty and hands it to him.
"Here's to having a choice."
He stares at the money for a moment, before quietly taking it.
"What will you do?"
-.-.-.-
"Run!"
She's breathless but she speeds up anyway, heart pounding, as she finally makes it to the end. The edge.
The water is still a green-ish blue, the waves are still lapping the edge, but this time they don't seem mocking.
The last time she had seen the water she had met a guy who had told her to stay. She had handed him a twenty and gotten on the first bus back to where she came from.
And she stayed. She stayed and fought and dealt and figured some stuff out.
Then she ran. Ran for the last time. So maybe it wasn't running. Maybe it was finally starting over new.
"That's a record!" the voice from before comes up behind her to hand her a bottle of water.
She takes the water and gulps it down.
Whatever. Maybe it was running, maybe it was starting over new, or maybe she had no idea.
But, she thinks with a smile as she turns back to the eyes like the water holding out another bottle, she had finally found a reason to stay.
A/N: So what did you think? Did you like it? I think we all sometimes feel like running away, and it's okay to get a away from things for a while. But at some point we have to face things, because they will catch up. As I once read somewhere, if you don't deal with your problems, they'll deal with you.
But that aside, I hope you enjoyed this, it was a bit different, almost more along the lines of my drabble series Semantics of Love. So if you liked this check that one out!
Please Review! I'd love to hear your thoughts!
And as always, thanks for reading!
See ya! :)
