Thank you for the reviews.

See now why this had to be a three-chapter thing rather than a two? And, of course, the last chapter is longer than the first two combined...

Patience

Eddie was more than a little shocked. Maybe it was the kiss on his cheek or the way that her perfume was lingering but there was this part of him that couldn't stop staring at the envelope in his hands. Maybe because he hadn't expected her to reply. He definitely didn't expect a letter back.

Naturally, he was extremely curious as to what it could be, forcing himself not to rip it open like he had watched Michael open his Christmas presents only a couple of weeks ago.

It definitely felt like a big moment as he pulled the letter out of the envelope and he had to take a breath before he started reading it, getting comfortable at his desk.

Eddie,

I get that this might sound cliché but I can assure you that this is very much a 'it's not you, it's me' type situation. And I am not one to wear my heart on my sleeve like you are. I've definitely been hurt too many times for me to be able to do that. So while I still have the confidence and my heart is ruling over my head, this is the best reply that I can give you.

Honestly, Eddie, you have nothing to apologise for. You have always done more than enough for me. You've been kind and understanding (once the initial anger calmed down). You've been a good friend to me, if not the best, and I can't really say that I can say that about many people I've come across in my life.

And if I continue to be honest, I wish we got those drinks as well. Because (and I can't believe I am saying this) you were right. There was something and I was excited to see where we were heading.

I'm not saying that the excitement won't come back but, at the moment, I'm rather cautious. Nearly 20 years of building myself up, proving to myself and others that I was good enough and now I feel like I am back to square one again.

I hope it isn't going to take another 20 years for me to build myself up again. Mainly because of where I am now in life. But, equally, I don't feel like I can mess you around. Maybe I did convince myself that you would be much better off without me.

All I know, Eddie, is that you aren't like the other men that I've had in my life. I think that doesn't really surprise you. From my own father to the brothel bosses to even my last boyfriend. Most of my adult life has been trying to prove these men wrong. Especially Dad. And every time I feel close to finally screaming at the sky, telling him that he wasn't right, something happens that just proves his point.

I did a bad thing and bad things happen to bad people.

And before you try and argue that point, I did bring Stuart into our lives. Without Stuart, there would have been no fire or any conflict between us over my past and it would have remained a secret. It all came out because of that secret. Because I got involved in a bad thing.

Maybe I am seeing things in a rather black and white way but that is the way of the world. And I can allow it to drag me down but I can't let it drag you down as well. Ultimately, Eddie, I decided that pushing you away and trying to keep you out of my life seemed like the best option. That you are better off without me.

I don't know how to lean on people or how to trust them wholeheartedly. I'm always scared that someone is just going to use me to meet their own ends. And I get that isn't you, Eddie. And it is disrespectful to you that I have assigned you to that category. Everyone starts there and only a few people make it into a different one.

So me rejecting your advances or wanting to talk isn't because of you. It's because I can't do it. I can't allow myself to be vulnerable and allow myself to get hurt. Shielding myself from that was more important to me but I never expected it to hurt me as much as it did to actually do what I thought was best.

Eddie, right now, I can't do it. I can't fathom starting something that could end up ending in the worst way possible. But, then again, maybe pushing you away was a stupid and rash decision to make and maybe just talking to you about it would have been best. But, then again, like I've said, I'm not one to talk about my feelings.

Maybe we should just see where the future takes us.

Love

Rachel

As much as it felt like Eddie could give this sigh of relief, there was this feeling that what he had just read had only caused his chest to tighten, his heart breaking for her.

He knew now that he had to be better. That he had to be the best version of himself and that he had to just go and talk to Rachel to offer his support in a way that was helpful without being overbearing. It wasn't something that he was going to do straight away but it was something that felt like it should be done sooner rather than later, sounding like a job for his free period between break and lunch.

With that, he placed the letter back in the envelope and put it somewhere safe, so that he didn't lose it and so he could read it before he spoke to Rachel. Picking up his marking, he set about sorting it out into the different age groups that he had work to give back to before starting the prep for his first lesson of the day and Eddie wondered if the morning was going to drag.

"Come on, you need a break."

Rachel couldn't help but agree with Eddie, looking up to see him with two mugs and a plate of biscuits and cakes. She closed her eyes and wiped her thumb and finger over them, pinching at the bridge of her nose for a moment before she looked back at him. She felt like she had been productive, blasting her way through the paperwork. Maybe she did deserve the break.

"There is still a lot to get done, Eddie." She said.

"Look, the school isn't going to break if you spend five minutes away from the paperwork." He said, sitting down on one of the sofas after he placed the plate and mugs in his hands onto the coffee table. "Or away from your desk."

"Why do I feel like there is an ulterior motive?"

"What? Because I want to look after you? Just take it as the man that I am. That I am still trying to find ways to show you how grateful I am that you intervened and got Michael back in my life."

"It was the least I could do."

"Rachel, it was more than anyone else would have done. Will you stop stalling and spend five minutes with me? Talking about something else other than the school?"

"You mean us?"

"Well, you brought it up."

If Rachel didn't already think that Eddie was smarter than he made out his was, that just showed how clever he was. Because it did seem like she had brought up the subject of them instead of him, even if she knew it was probably what he wanted to talk about.

With a sigh, she pushed herself out of her chair and walked over to the empty sofa, almost dropping down onto it heavily. Maybe it was the tiredness settling in or maybe it was just because she could never see herself talking about the things that she had included in that letter.

"I don't need looking after, Eddie."

He smiled at her. "Really? I have watched you work away, completely oblivious to what is happening around you. I know how you work now, Rachel. Meaning I know that, sometimes, you need reminding to take five minutes and you need reminding to eat lunch. I can be subtle if you want me to be."

"A workaholic as most other people describe me."

"I would say passionate."

Rachel found herself rolling her eyes, knowing that she would just accept it if he just agreed with everyone else. And she could tell that Eddie didn't like her response.

"Okay, I get it now." He said.

"Get what?"

"That what you said was right. Everyone falls into this category of… not believing in you. That someone is only doing so because they want something from you." He paused. "Rachel… all I want from you is you. I like you because you are you. The passion and fire and drive and… it's just all you and that is what I fell for."

She knew that she would never have been able to hold his gaze. She was the worst when it came to taking compliments.

"Sorry," Eddie said.

"Please don't apologise."

"Why not? I overstepped a line again."

"You haven't overstepped anything."

"Well… my mum told me to always apologise when I felt like I had done something wrong and I felt like I had done something wrong."

"I wish my mum was full of great wisdom like that." Rachel found herself saying.

"What did she used to say to you?"

She looked up at him. "That I was the oldest and therefore should be more responsible. That by the time she was my age, she had learnt to cook and clean and did all these things around the house. She umm… always thought that school was a waste of time. That I would learn more in the real world. Shame that school was my favourite place to go."

"Really?"

"So much so that once I was thrown into the big bad world, all I wanted to do was to go back. Hence becoming a teacher." She huffed. "A little sad isn't it?"

"I don't think so. Maybe it was what you were born to do."

"Go on then. How did you get into teaching?"

"By accident." Eddie took a sip of his drink, reminding her about hers. "I left uni not really knowing what I wanted to do with my maths degree. Everyone talked about me going into engineering, so I did. After two weeks, I knew it wasn't for me but I didn't feel like I could leave the job. Anyway, one of my cousins was struggling through his GCSE Maths and my auntie asked me as to whether I would help him out. I, sort of, reluctantly agreed. But it kinda showed me that it was the thing that maybe I should be doing, especially when my cousin turned to me and asked told me that he never understood half of what we went through together and, because of me and the little ways that I showed him, he ended up with a B in the end when his teacher was sure he was going to get an F."

"That does seem like it was by accident."

"I do think that my parents weren't too happy about the career change. I think the extra learning to get my teaching qualification put them off." He seemed to try and laugh it off before a sense of nervousness came over him. "Rachel, all I needed was for you to tell me… that there was something. That I wasn't wrong. That we can build to that again."

"Well, I know exactly how I feel about you now. Before I knew I was making a… decision that I didn't really want to make. But I am not ready for that yet, Eddie. Although, I rather like the friend idea."

"Then I will be that."

It was Rachel's turn to feel nervous and if they were going to start afresh then she needed to tell him what she had done because she felt like she couldn't be certain about having his support.

"Eddie." She said, waiting for him to look up at her before she continued. "I need to tell you something that I know you aren't going to be happy about. B-b-but there is a method behind my madness."

"Okay." He said, sounding rather unsure.

"Melissa Ryan?"

"The woman who we interviewed last?"

"Yeah. I know her." She paused for a second. "Well, maybe that is an understatement. Because she's my sister."

Rachel expected the confusion from him. She expected the slow realisation as it hit him from what she said to what that meant. And, of course, she expected him to be angry.

"She is your sister?!" He said, loudly.

"Yeah."

"Why would you do that? What were you thinking? Did you also make the position for her?"

"No, no, no. The extended services were always part of the plan. On my first day, I said about an extended school. It has always been in the plan."

"And to slip your sister into the role? Was that part of the master plan?"

Rachel did realise that she would have to be vulnerable to get across why she decided to do what she did.

"No, it wasn't like that." She said.

"Then what was it like?"

"I didn't know…"

"You didn't know what?"

"I'm not just physically scarred." She said, the words shooting out of her mouth before she could stop them. She took a few moments before she continued, attempting to find the best way to explain things to Eddie without insulting him. "I have had recurring nightmares. Where I am walking through the school and the corridors are empty. Then I get to the hall and everyone is there and I try to explain everything but as I am speaking, everyone starts chanting for me to leave." She took a deep breath as Eddie grabbed her hand. "Sometimes I run out of the hall to the corridor. Once you marched me out. But always the corridor is on fire and the flames surround me.

"Other times, it just ends with me screaming at everyone to stop. I…" She stopped for a moment. "I didn't know whether I still had everyone's support. It was easy for me to be confused. There was the email about the vote of no confidence from the governors which was followed up by one by the LEA asking me how long I was going to be off sick. I needed to know that there was someone by my side that was going to support me. Even if I am unsure that Melissa is going to stick around. Maybe it was a way to keep her around.

"And maybe I should have realised everything with the vote of no confidence being overturned was because of your involvement. And as much as I wouldn't have wanted you to see me at the hospital or at home, maybe that would have helped. I'm not going to say that I would have believed anything that you said but it might have helped me see what was in front of me rather than looking elsewhere for it."

His thumb was gently stroking the back of her hand, helping to keep away any of the panic that wanted to rise in her. Eddie's face, on the other hand, was showing that he had very mixed thoughts on what she had just told him from the revelation that Melissa was her sister.

"Don't tell me you've given her the job already," Eddie said.

"I… haven't refused the others yet." She said as a way to get around what he just said.

He closed his eyes briefly as he sighed. "Then can we talk about it before you do? See if there is a way to make things slightly better. You… I do get why you've done what you have done but once everyone finds out, it won't look good on you."

"I know." She hesitated. "And I was going to let Melissa make her own mark before I told you. If anything, I didn't quite think that Steph or Grantly would go for it. They dislike teaching the kids, let alone including the parents as well."

"I'm sure that we can come up with some compromise that will benefit everyone."

"And I'll deal with Melissa. Because I am sure that so many questions will be thrown at me because of it."

Rachel knew that it wasn't fair that, yet again, Eddie was helping her to clear up her mess (admittingly, before it became a mess as well) but part of her just wished that she had remembered what Eddie had said to her on the day of the fire.

She had his respect.

And it would be something that she would have to remind herself of every time that she thought about pushing him away. Because it was something that she would need to get herself back on track as well as to help start the journey of her and Eddie becoming more than friends.

6 months later

Rachel could only smile at Eddie and his appearance as he entered her office. There was a small part of her that did feel sorry for him, having last seen him about an hour ago when she kicked him out of her house so that he could go home for, at the very least, a change of clothes. It seemed like he had also decided that he had enough time for a shower as well, probably the reason why his shirt collar was half sticking up and half down.

"Oh come here." She said.

He seemed to not understand what she was on about, a curious look on his face until she started playing with his collar, placing it exactly where she deemed it appropriate.

"We start dating and I find myself dressing you properly." She said as she finished her task.

"I thought I had more time than I actually did." He said.

"Maybe I should have kicked you out sooner."

"Glad you didn't say that we should have woken up sooner."

"Maybe we should have gotten out of bed sooner."

"Oh come on, Mason. You were the one to start that."

Rachel couldn't stop the coy smile rising up on her lips. "Well, Lawson, you shouldn't be so damn irresistible."

Maybe it was a cheesy line on her part but she loved the way that Eddie smiled at her. It had been coming and even though they were only just officially dating, there had been a good couple months of them seeing each other outside of the school setting that had led them to that moment. There had been a lot of wining and dining and gifts from Eddie's side (something that Rachel equally loved and hated, especially when the gift felt like it was a little too expensive for where they were regarding their relationship). Rachel had, of course, attempted to match his gifts in any way that she could, meaning that they'd had a fair few arguments over who was getting the bill when they went out to a restaurant.

And Eddie's support had been needed in more ways than Rachel had ever expected. He had been a rock while she found her feet, living back in the real world rather than her nightmares. He showed her that no one cared and, in fact, the students did listen to her more because they had realised that they had a better chance if they did things right the first time around and that, out of everyone in the school, she was the one that was talking from experience.

The solution that they came up with to make the fact that Rachel had employed Melissa as the Head of Extended Services was to employ someone alongside her, meaning that there was someone who was a qualified teacher to actually do the teaching while Melissa acted more as someone to teach them life skills. And it was working out well and there was a little grumbling when it was found out that her and Melissa were sisters but Rachel suspected that Eddie helped to keep it to just grumbling.

Yet they couldn't stop there being any conflict with Melissa and, soon enough, Melissa found Rachel's weakness and attempted to exploit it (just like their dad used to do). Which led to Melissa flirting 24/7 with Eddie, becoming increasingly instant the more he refused her. Rachel almost gave up the fight, knowing that her sister usually got what she wanted in the end.

Just not that time and Rachel hated the argument but she couldn't help but feel that her life was better without Melissa in it, even if that did potentially mean that she would lose Philip.

Philip, on the other hand, didn't want to lose Rachel from his life and had finally had enough of being moved about so much that he wanted to stay with Rachel, just so that he could do his GCSEs and A Levels at the same school. So he could actually make friends rather than not really trying because he knew in a couple of months, he would leave them. Rachel couldn't open her home up to him quick enough, meaning that it led to a very dramatic exit for Melissa, making a big deal about how she would now have to sell the house and that she was homeless because she didn't have the funds to buy another house or to rent until she sold that one, refusing any help from Rachel when she offered it.

And it was Philip who got them to become closer, with him pretty much setting them up so that they would have their first date. Because the idea to go bowling was Philip's. The idea to invite Eddie was Philip's. It wasn't until Rachel tried to get Philip a set of bowling shoes did it become apparent what had gone on. As the lane was only booked for two. And it was something that Rachel told Philip that she was grateful for. Because she knew that Eddie was still waiting for her to be ready and as she was as carefree as she was ever going to be, it was easy for her to be able to take that leap. And she wasn't regretting it.

"Are you sure that you are happy about everyone finding out?" Eddie said.

"Absolutely." She said. "But not because you wearing the same clothes as you did yesterday. Maybe… maybe, if you are going to be staying over more often, I should clear you out a drawer."

"Or we could just cut to the chase."

She could tell that Eddie realised how much of a massive step that would be for her by the look on her face.

"Not that I wouldn't." She quickly said.

"Too much?"

"Eddie, we are just going to start to tell people. Well, just stop trying to hide it from people. I am sure at some point we will decide that moving in together is the perfect thing to do. Just… not now."

"I can live with a drawer." He said. "And maybe I'll clear one out for you. Maybe, next weekend, you can spend the weekend with me and Michael. Let him get to know you as well."

"Maybe." Rachel said, already knowing that she was probably going to accept the offer.

Without them being each other in their arms, it was probably quite easy for Kim to not think that anything was amiss as she walked into Rachel's office, joining them for the weekly catch up a meeting before the staff briefing to start off the week.

Even though Kim and Steph were close, Rachel didn't quite think that Kim did get involved in all the gossip, probably listening to it because Steph was more talking at Kim rather than to her, unlike Matt who was definitely there for the gossip. So if Kim did suspect anything, Rachel didn't really think that she would say anything until it was just her and Kim (and Rachel was planning on telling her anyway. Just to be fair to the other member of her management team) and she wouldn't go running off to the staff room to tell Steph.

"Good weekend?" Kim asked.

"Yeah. Yeah. It was good, yours?" Rachel said.

"So, so. Definitely wished on Sunday that I was more motivated to start my marking on the Saturday."

"Tell me about it," Eddie said.

With a small knowing glance, Rachel already knew that Eddie didn't get all his marking done, like she hadn't got all the paperwork done that she had taken home. Mainly because Philip had spent a little too much time out of the house with Bolton and Paul.

She did, however, make a list of the things that she thought she needed to mention that morning and she ran down that list, taking in what both Eddie and Kim were saying to her points. Once that was done, they all moved to leave Rachel's office, with Rachel feeling herself slowing down and holding back a little bit from Kim to be with Eddie.

"I'm going to tell her today," Rachel whispered.

"Do you want to see how long it lasts?" Eddie said.

"How long what lasts?"

"The 'we aren't hiding it anymore' thing. How long before Steph notices?"

"Midweek."

"Really?"

"Why? What do you think?"

"By the end of the day." He chuckled. "I think you underestimate how much I would rather be somewhere else with you."

It was the beginning of the next part of their relationship and Rachel was more than happy with the way that it was progressing. And maybe the most important thing that she had realised in this all was that she had someone that she could talk to and open up to in the form of Eddie. That he would be there for her, no matter what it was. Maybe that was because of something that every man wanted her for. Or maybe it was just because they had a deep connection. That, in an odd sense, they were always meant to be together. And Rachel hoped that their relationship was only going to grow and strengthen and be everything that she always hoped from a relationship. Because it felt like they had already done the hard part. Now it was time for the good.