A/N: Hey guys! Buckle down, grab a snack, this one's a long one :P Hope you enjoy!
An itching feeling, like something wanted to claw out, break free. An internal suffocation, in the back of her mind through everything she did: pour coffee, drive to work, sit in a meeting, drinks with her friends, dinner with her boyfriend.
Day and night, this feeling, persisting, like a weight.
Unsatisfied.
The word came to her in the middle of lunch. She looks down at the sandwich that's suddenly dry in her mouth.
Why?
She has everything, a decent job, good friends, a nice boyfriend. She's doing alright for herself; things should be looking up.
But she's twenty-six and…unsatisfied.
But why?
She doesn't know. But it hits her that she's not really that happy. But she's not not happy either.
So what is she?
Late to her meeting, really. The sandwich is scarfed down and heels click to the meeting room and her mind ponders on the word.
Maybe she's just crazy, she thinks on her drive home. She has worked hard to build up the life she has now. She's struggled, been lost, confused, unsure. She'd worked through it all to get to where she is, to find stability.
But now that she has it, she's unsatisfied.
She must be insane.
Thalia and Piper are arguing over a striped shirt and she's startled enough to wonder how she got here. Clearly at some point she parked her car, walked over, and met them by the entrance. She remembers it now, but it feels far off.
She really is insane.
Or just really out of it today.
"Earth to Annabeth." Thalia waves her hand in front of her face.
"Yeah, I'm here, sorry."
Piper gives her a concerned look. "You sure? You've been spacing a lot today."
She sighs. How does she explain this feeling? This tension building slowly inside of her, that's actually speeding up now that she's acknowledged it.
Unconsciously she starts to drum her fingers against her thigh.
"Nothing, sorry, just an off day I guess."
"Well," Thalia checks her phone, "it is getting late, if you need to leave to meet Luke then you should."
Oh right. She was meeting Luke for dinner today. She'd forgotten.
She isn't hungry.
Picking at her salad, she stares past the blonde head of hair in front of her to a couple in the back that was clearly trying (and failing) to keep it together.
What was so funny, she isn't sure, but they are giggling like children despite being full grown adults.
"Annabeth?" Luke's clear voice interrupts her observations.
"Yeah, sorry." She transfers her attention to her boyfriend. Strong jaw, neat blonde hair, only a faint trace of a scar near his eye that only aid his good looks. His blue eyes are trained on her.
She looks at her food to avoid meeting them.
"Do you not like the food?" he asks.
"No, it's very good, I guess I'm not that hungry." She makes an effort to eat a forkful.
"Did you have a big lunch? Didn't you have that lunch meeting today?"
She shakes her head mechanically. "No, that's tomorrow."
He's so… together. Luke, like her, had worked his way up to stability. It's how they had met, interns at a company for a time. Their like-mindedness had led to a relationship that continued even after he left for another job.
He always looks good, neat and put together.
But once again, her eyes drift from her boyfriend's handsome face to the giggly couple in the back, who have managed to compose themselves but still sport wide grins on their faces as they converse.
Luke has been talking, and she only manages to catch the end of the story.
"So he went up to John and complained about the 'woman in the back,' who was the VP of the company."
"Serves him right," she responds. She doesn't know the whole story, but it seems like a safe bet that the guy is an asshole.
Luke nods in agreement, "Yeah, he was really embarrassed about it afterward."
"I bet."
She must be really out of it because when he kisses her goodnight she doesn't invite him in, just tugs her clothes off and climbs into her bed, hoping tomorrow would be better.
-.-.-.-
Tomorrow was not better. The feeling stayed and she went about her day much the same as before.
The next day was the same and she was getting so fed up she canceled all her plans. No drinks with coworkers, no seeing Luke, no seeing anybody.
She comes straight home, changes into an old pair of jeans and a comfy t-shirt and sits on her couch in hopes of relaxing.
But she is restless. No TV show, no movie, nothing manages to distract her, her foot is tapping incessantly without her consent and it's starting to annoy her now.
She stands up, feet continuing to move till she's pacing back and forth.
In the past three days this feeling has blown beyond anything she could have thought and it's starting to take over. It's turning into frustration and she wants to stomp her foot and throw a real tantrum.
Instead she grabs her wallet and keys and heads out the door.
Her phone starts vibrating as she gets in her car and she sees a message from Piper asking her what she's up to.
She puts it on silent, throws it in the backseat and begins driving.
-.-.-.-.-
It's hard to get lost when you know an area well, but she decides to follow the road as far as it would take her.
Luckily summer is starting to warm up the air, allowing her to leave the windows down. She's got a 90s radio station on and she's finally hitting unknown territory.
It's the best she's felt all week.
She hit a highway of sorts a half hour back and she's far enough away from the city and suburbs to start hitting open fields. The sun is starting to set and it's painting the sky a beautiful mixture of pinks and orange.
It's honestly breathtaking and so vivid she feels as though if she reached out she could touch it. She settles for driving faster towards the sun as though she could catch up to it.
It's like chasing something you know you won't attain, which is pretty similar to chasing something you don't know exists.
That's what she's doing after all, chasing something without knowing what. The thought startles her into a sense of reality as the sky grows darker.
Where is she? She doesn't know anymore, the sky is a deep blue, and the air is getting colder. Suddenly, everything is not so great.
She rolls up the windows and turns down the radio a bit and really starts to realize her situation. The clock on her dashboard reads 9:30 so she's been driving for a good three and a half hours already. She has no idea where she is, other than surrounded by open fields on a freeway. And she's getting hungry.
It's the most unnerved and uncomfortable she's felt in a while.
And yet strangely enough, she feels a part of her grow excited. And the more she thinks about it, the more the feeling grows, tugging at her until a small smile has made its way to her lips.
And there she is driving 75 miles per hour in god knows where to god knows where with a growing smile and she wants to laugh.
She really must be insane.
She turns up the music, which at some point had started playing throwbacks and sings Don't Stop Believin' at the top of her lungs.
-.-.-.-.-
An hour and half later she's in desperate need of gas and food.
She takes the first exit and pulls up to a small gas station with a convenience store. It's eleven at night and she's all alone and she has to admit it's a bit scary pulling up to a place like this by herself. But it's brightly lit and there's a few other establishments across and down the road, including a McDonalds that she's going to make her next stop.
Another car pulls in and a teenager gets out so she's feeling a whole lot better about the place by the time she's filled up her car.
It also hits her then that she desperately needs to pee, so the next stop ends up being the convenience store that's attached.
She enters tentatively, looking around the brightly lit store. No one else is in, except a lone worker who has his back to her as he's stocking the shelves with chips.
Chips sound great right about then.
She's not sure where the restrooms are so she's attempting to scan the back wall when he turns around to see her.
"Oh, shit," he's clearly startled, and she sees why as he pulls put headphones.
"Sorry, I didn't see you there," he says, and she's hit with brilliant sea green eyes. His black hair is a complete mess, only swept to the side out of habit probably. He's wearing well-worn dark jeans and a black polo looking shirt with the gas station logo on it that is only half tucked in.
He offers a crooked smile and she finds herself smiling back.
"No problem, I was wondering if you could point me to the bathroom."
He nodded. "Sure, in the back to the left."
"Thanks," she replies.
Finally forced to see herself in the mirror as she's washing her hands, she realizes that she kind of looks like a mess. Her hair has slipped from her ponytail and become a little windswept from the windows being down.
She tries her best to freshen herself up as her thoughts wander to the lone employee of the convenience store.
He has to be around her age, and seems friendly enough, maybe he'd be able to explain where she was.
She walks out of the bathroom feeling better than when she walked in. He's finished stocking the shelves and has moved behind the counter.
Percy, is what his nametag reads once she's close enough to the counter.
"Hi again," he says cheerfully.
"Hey, I was hoping you could help me out with something."
"Yeah, go for it, I can help you out, probably, I mean it is my job, unless of course it's something really weird then maybe not, but I'll definitely try."
He's rambling a little and is not cohesive at all, she must seem surprised, because he immediately blushes and apologizes again.
"Sorry, I'm rambling, it's been a slow night, what can I do for you?"
He offers that crooked smile again and she can't help but smile back at him. He's kinda cute that way.
"Can you tell me where I am?"
He looks surprised. "Like, where you are right now….?" He trails off unsure.
"Like the city, what city is this?"
"Oh, well this is the edge of Lancaster."
Huh, Lancaster, she had never heard of it. It didn't help her orient herself in any way.
"Um…where are you trying to go?" he asks, clearly still confused by her question.
She shrugs. "No clue, I just kind of started driving, hence why I have no idea where I am."
"Wow, so you're really just lost."
Well that was one way of putting it.
"Yeah, guess so, but that may have been the point."
"Well, you seemed to have accomplished it."
As she nods in agreement her stomach decides to make itself known and growls at her for not feeding it.
Trying to fend off embarrassment (because why would she care what he thought of her anyway), she continues, "Damn, I'm hungry, what's good around here?"
He looks at the clock. "At this time of night, McDonalds is your best bet." He looks out the window longingly. "At least that's what I'm craving so maybe it's a projection."
"McDonalds sounds great, I'll head there."
He nods at her. "Alright, well, I don't know your plans but if you need any help, any suggestions or recommendations around here, let me know. I grew up here, so I know the area pretty well."
"Thanks, I'm good for now. I think I need food before I figure out my plans."
"Fair. Well, enjoy your food- eat a chicken nugget for me," he jokes.
And with a smile on her face, she waves goodbye and gets in her car to drive two minutes to the McDonalds.
Percy, what a nice guy. He certainly had a charm. Complete opposite of Luke. Luke would never have his hair that messy, or clothes that rumpled or even ramble like that.
She shakes her head. Why is she comparing Percy to Luke anyway? Why is she thinking about Luke? The thought brings back the reality of her life and she hates the thoughts. She has escaped for a while, she wants it to remain that way.
She doesn't want to face everything yet, rather just exist in the bubble this new and unknown place had created.
She finds herself ordering an extra thing of chicken nuggets.
Driving back to the gas station, she questions what on earth is wrong with her, that caused her to buy a random guy from the gas station convenience store chicken nuggets.
But she likes his company and wants to get to know him. What is his life like? What is it like to grow up here? Is he happy?
And with those thoughts, she walks into the store once again. Percy is sitting behind the counter with a book in hand and raises his eyebrows at her return.
"Hello, again," he says by way of greeting.
She smiles and holds up the extra chicken nuggets. "Here."
The look on his face is priceless. To be fair she is just as shocked at her actions as he is.
"No way, really?"
She nods and slides it across the counter. "In exchange for letting me eat here?" she asks.
He immediately nods and brings a chair from behind the counter to her side so she can sit.
She's gone all out with a burger and fries and she starts to practically inhale it as soon as it's unwrapped.
He watches her with an impressed look on his face.
"You must have been starving."
She manages to swallow before responding, "I haven't eaten in like 6 hours."
He pops a chicken nugget into his mouth. "Really? Damn, you must be real far out."
She shrugs.
He waits a minute before tentatively asking, "Trying to get away from something?"
She can tell he's worried he's overstepped and before he can apologize, she swallows her bite and addresses his question.
"No, not really. I think I'm trying to get to something, though I'm not sure what…" she trails off because she's not really found a good way to explain it. But that may be because there isn't a good way to explain it.
He nods anyway and there's silence for a minute as he considers her words.
"I think I get it," is all he says but somehow, she believes him. Something in the way he says it, as if he can't find the words either, makes her think that perhaps he does.
"Yeah." There's silence again as they both eat.
"So, tell me about this place. You said you grew up here?" she asks upon finishing her burger, taking a sip of her drink afterwards.
"Well, there's not that much to tell. It's kind of a small town. We got a school and a library and a baseball field with a pretty decent minor league team. There's a few shops and stores and fast food places, but the nearest mall is about forty minutes out. There's a really nice park-slash-forest reserve though, with some good trails if you like nature. And…they have a drive-in movie in the field near the community center every Friday."
She nods as she digests the information. "It sounds really nice."
"Does it?" he asks absently, eating another nugget. "I'd think a lot of people would find it boring."
"Do you?"
He considers the question, eating another nugget in the meantime. "No," he finally decides.
"It's not super exciting, but it's nice, and familiar. The things we have aren't extravagant but there are many simple pleasures to enjoy."
"Yeah, I can see that… it seems to have a charm."
He shrugs. "But I'm probably biased."
"I'll take your word on it. I've never really been to a place like this." Annabeth chews on her straw absentmindedly. "I grew up in the suburbs close to the city."
"That sounds exciting."
It's her turn to shrug, "Maybe."
"Well, I know you don't know your plans, but if you're planning on staying, you should check out the drive-in movie tomorrow."
"That sounds nice, I- wait, tomorrow is Friday. Fuck!"
The thought reminds her once again of her life that she has momentarily left behind. She needs to call into work, and Luke has probably texted her. Fuck, where is her phone?
Remembering she left it in the back of her car she rushes out to dig through the back seat.
It's almost dead and she has a million notifications. Rushing back into the store she asks for a charger.
Percy, who seems to have gotten used to her weird behavior, hands her what is clearly his own charger.
"Thank you so much, I just realized I haven't checked in like seven hours."
"No problem, you got me chicken nuggets, I owe you."
She waves that aside. "No, you don't. Your company's enough."
She has four texts from Piper who got impatient, one from Thalia that simply read hey, two missed calls from Luke and three messages. There are a few emails from work and some notifications from other apps.
She makes her way through all of them, choosing not to respond to Thalia or Piper since they didn't sound urgent and probably assumed she was asleep. She'll explain later.
Her thumb hovers over a response to Luke, who had tried to reach out, come to the conclusion she was asleep, and wished her good night.
She should tell him.
But for some reason she doesn't want to. She doesn't want to talk to anyone, really. She just wants this, this thing to herself.
Percy, who has been quietly finishing his chicken nuggets, notices her hesitation.
"Is everything okay?"
She sighs. "I didn't really… tell anyone I was leaving, just kind of got into my car and started driving."
"And now people are wondering where you are?"
She nods.
"Well, what are your plans? Are you going to head back, or stay awhile?"
Maybe it's just her, but there seems to be a little wistfulness when he had said "stay a while."
Stay a while.
That sounds nice.
She decides then that she would stay the night at least. Typing out a quick email to her boss to let him know she was feeling sick and would be out, she lets out a sigh.
It feels better knowing she has some more time here.
"I guess I'm at least staying the night."
His face lights up, "Really? Then you should try and stay for the drive-in, it's a lot of fun! You get popcorn for cheap and my friend Grover runs it, so I could get free tickets."
His excitement is infectious. She feels herself looking forward to the idea. It would be such a nice change of pace, something new, it's what she needs.
"Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun I guess I need to-" She breaks off as she stares at her phone.
Luke's text is still on screen. Fuck. What is she doing?
"What happened?" Percy asks, noticing the change in her mood.
"I need to respond to my boyfriend…I guess it's just hard to explain…"
She watches as he seems to dim at the word boyfriend and lean back a little as if to create space between them. Which is ridiculous, since they are already far apart, but she understands the gesture for what it is.
Surprisingly, instead of being happy at the sign, she is disappointed. She feels as though she's killed the mood and vibe that was going on. It suddenly feels like her escape was crumbling.
Forcing her phone away, she turns back to him.
"I'll think of something later, for now though, what were you reading?"
He holds up a Sherlock Holmes novel. "Have you ever read any of his stuff?"
She nods excitedly; it's rare to find someone who's actually read the books. "I have! Though honestly, I prefer Agatha Christie."
"Who?"
"Oh, you're missing out…"
-.-.-.-.-
The next day finds her waking up at two in the afternoon in her motel room after a long night of book discussions.
She hasn't stayed up all night or slept in late in a very long time. It feels good. It makes her feel twenty-two again.
After freshening up a little, and making plans to buy a new shirt at least, she turns her attention to the still-unaddressed texts and calls from Luke.
After a lot of thinking, she finally responds:
Sorry, I went out of town last minute.
I'll see you on Sunday and explain then.
Don't worry, I'm okay
The reply came twenty minutes later (he must have been waiting) with a normal note of concern and worry.
She reassures him again and then leaves to take on the remainder of the day. She doesn't want to spend any more time thinking or interacting with her life. She wants to enjoy this, now, this new place, this new feeling.
She gets in her car and starts to drive around until she comes across a thrift store. Well, that would do.
She walks into the quirky little shop and is met by a short girl, slightly younger than her with chocolate skin and hazel eyes. Her name tag, aptly reads, Hazel.
"Hi! Can I help you with anything?"
"Um…I'm not sure, just looking around for a shirt…" Annabeth trails off, taking in all the clothing around her.
"Alright, is there anything specific you're looking for?"
"Not really…unless you have a recommendation." She says the last part jokingly, but Hazel takes it seriously and steps out from behind the counter.
"Well, let's see here," and with that she gets to work.
An hour later, Annabeth steps out with a whole new outfit that she wouldn't have picked out on her own. She loves it.
She texts Percy about restaurant recommendations and the reply comes almost instantly.
Nico's is a cute little place that featured Nico, a guy who seems too young to own a business and is wearing a scowl on his face.
She has only met three people so far, two being exceptionally nice and one being a bored McDonald's worker, so Nico's sour disposition is a little surprising.
Percy meets her shortly, thereafter, completely ignores Nico's scowl and cheerfully orders them food.
"Don't mind him, he's just like that cause his boyfriend's away for the weekend."
"Shut up Percy!" is heard from the kitchens.
She smiles at the interaction. "Do you know everybody?"
"No, but these guys were in school with me, plus I'm a lifeguard part time and people around our age tend to populate the pool for the most part.
"I see you got a new outfit," he says appraisingly. She blushes under his gaze, even though it is not outwardly flirtatious in any way.
"Thanks, a girl named Hazel picked it out for me."
Percy nods, "Yeah, she's got real talent."
The food arrives, along with Percy's friend Grover, who walks in and immediately steals an onion ring off of Percy's plate.
Grover, Annabeth learns, is also a park ranger, and is more than willing to let her and Percy in for free at the drive in.
With more recommendations for trails to check out, the afternoon goes by quickly and before she knows it, it is time for the drive-in movie to begin.
Annabeth drives with Percy giving her directions. The drive-in is basically the parking lot and a lot of people have simply walked in with chairs. Nico is there, still scowling a bit along with Hazel (who happens to be his half-sister).
The stars are out, and the vibe was exactly how she's imagined it. Hanging out on the hood of her car with new friends, watching some old timey horror movie that made people laugh more than scream.
This is it, this is her little bubble of time, suspended in the night.
With Hazel smiling brightly and Nico trying not to smile and Percy with a wide crooked grin and stuffing his face with popcorn, she feels good.
She feels happy.
Not restless, or unsatisfied, but at peace.
"I'm glad you stayed for the movie," Percy says later, as she's driving him to his shift at the gas station.
"Me too, it was the most fun I've had in a while."
There's a silence as she drives.
"You're heading out then?" he asks finally.
"Yeah, I'm thinking of heading out soon, I'll probably reach by morning."
"You sure you won't fall asleep? Maybe you should leave in the morning."
The idea is tempting, but she knows she needs to leave now. The way she came was the way she needs to leave.
"I'll be okay, I promise."
She pulls up to the gas station.
"Do you need anything? It's on the house."
She shakes her head. She doesn't want to go. But she knows it's time.
Percy nods slowly and gets out of the car.
"Text me when you finally make it home Annabeth, I know it's a long drive."
She nods. It's hard to say anything.
At that moment the cacophony of emotions she's feeling is hard to explain or quantify. As ready as she is to go, watching him get out of the car makes something in her want to pull him back and drive some more just to talk about books or music or anything really.
He flashes her a small smile and something in her heart aches.
Slowly she pulls back out into the road. He's still standing there, in her rearview mirror, watching as she drives away into the night.
-.-.-.-.-
Annabeth is glad to be home. The first thing she does is take a shower and pass out. Her bed feels nice, her home feels nice. The familiarity is nice.
She wakes up at five in the afternoon, feeling rested for the first time in days. Her little trip was nice, but it's good to be back. The stability feels comforting once again.
She gathers herself and finally calls Luke.
He's over in twenty minutes.
It's weird to see him again after four days, after her little adventure. He looks as put together as ever, hair combed, clothes neat. He smiles when he sees her and it's not crooked.
"Where have you been, I missed you," his words are clear and concise, and the kiss is nice.
She explains she went on an impromptu trip, hung out in an old town, watched a movie. She mentions meeting some people, and that she feels better after her adventure.
She mentions Percy once when she lists off some people, but other than that she keeps the details to herself. Not only Percy but the store with Hazel, the diner with Nico and the hikes with Grover. She keeps all the details, guards them because they are hers. It's probably stupid to feel possessive over memories but for some reason she just wants to keep it to herself. For herself.
Luke doesn't push after getting the key points, says he's glad she feels better, and talks about his weekend. It's good to catch up.
It's good to see him.
But after he leaves, messy black hair and shining green eyes pop back in her head.
She's only texted him once, to let him know she got home, he had responded appropriately, and they had left it at that.
She decides to make plans to see Thalia and Piper to avoid thinking about him. Plus she misses her best friends.
They're both shocked upon hearing about her adventure. Piper presses for details, Annabeth gives as many as she can without giving them all.
It's good to see them too. She missed her friends.
They end up at the mall again because Piper wants to return something.
"The color is just not right," she insists, and Annabeth has a thought that her and Hazel would get along.
Thalia is rolling her eyes, even though she cares, and the attitude reminds her of Nico.
She's supposed to meet Luke later, too, but there's no parallel there. Percy is the exact opposite of Luke. Messy, rambley, not put together. But the passion he had when talking about books…she wonders if he took any of her recommendations.
"Earth to Annabeth," Thalia says, waving a hand in front of her face. It's a moment of déjà vu. But this time instead of looking off she's smiling into the distance.
"Damn, what happened? Did Luke do something?" Piper raises her eyebrows suggestively.
Annabeth blushes immediately. The implication is horrible, because she must have looked some kind of lovesick if Piper had said that about Luke, but she hadn't been thinking about him, she'd been thinking about Percy.
"No, it's nothing."
Piper giggles at her and they finally approach the counter. As Piper conducts her return, Annabeth's eyes once again wander around until it hits a dress of a brilliant sea green color.
It's a punch in the gut how similar it is to his eyes. She's immediately drawn to it. Walking over, she touches the soft silk and wonders if Percy's hair is this soft.
The thought brings another blush to her face. She needs to stop. Firstly, there is nothing between them. Percy had seemed interested but backed off when he learned she had a boyfriend and had acted only as a friend the entire time. Secondly, she has a boyfriend.
"Annabeth, what's going on?"
She turns to find Piper and Thalia standing behind her.
Leave it to the best friends to figure everything out.
-.-.-.-.-
Two weeks and some tough decisions later, finds Annabeth in her car driving.
She's spent them thinking, evaluating, deciding, and, hardest of them all, acting on those decisions. It's tough, and uncomfortable and a little scary. But she's here now. Moving forward.
She has a special place in her heart for both men; the one she should have loved and the one she did.
The bell rings and peeking out from behind the cover of an Agatha Christie novel are brilliant sea green eyes, and messy swept hair.
The slightly crooked smile that appears next warms her heart. It's beating a little faster now, a reminder of progress, growth, something new.
His shirt is only halfway tucked into his old jeans, and he's rambling about how great it is to see her.
The kiss is mind-blowing.
A/N: So what did you think? This one is 5k words, probably the longest I've written as a standalone chapter for this fic, but idk, I had a vibe in mind for this one and when I started writing, well, this happened.
I don't really know what else to say that I haven't conveyed through the story itself, except for maybe that complacency doesn't lead to growth. I think we all need to challenge ourselves now and again, do something new or different, change in some capacity in order to continue to learn and grow. Being stagnant may lead to a feeling on unsatisfaction, or even unhappiness.
Pushing out of your comfort zone is difficult, but I think necessary to progress to the next stage of you.
Also I want to add that Luke is not a bad guy, nor is Annabeth a bad person for breaking up with him. Sometimes things happen, people change, or whatever else. You don't have to be a horrible person to be broken up with and you don't have to be a horrible person to break up with someone. I didn't include it in the fic but this is a hard decision for Annabeth to make, but ultimately she chooses something she believes will bring her happiness. Not that Luke didn't but she felt like she needed something else, and going after that is better for the both of them, otherwise it could grow into a bad situation where they feel stuck and suffocated.
But yeah, this note has gone on long enough so I'll end it here.
Please Review! I'd love to hear your thoughts! And as always, thanks for reading!
See ya! :)