Liam greeted them at the front door of his apartment, Charlotte standing at his feet holding onto his leg.
Emma instinctively scooped her into her arms, kissing the top of her head. Charlotte babbled happily in Emma's ear. Killian assumed she was trying to tell her about her time with Liam. He followed behind Emma as she entered the apartment, kind of unsure of his place.
Liam fell into step next to him. "Brother, can I get you anything?
"Oh, um, I'm alright, Li.. Thanks though. And thanks for watching Charlotte this afternoon."
Liam waved him off. "Don't worry about it, she's very easy to watch. And she reminds me a lot of you when you were little." He smiled.
He nodded, watching Emma interact with Charlotte. Killian wanted to be as involved with Charlotte, but he was scared. Scared he'd hurt her, or he was too broken to love her like she needed.
Liam squeezed Killian's shoulder. "Emma really is a natural mom."
"Aye, she is.. And it makes me happy to see them together, truly.." He ran his hand over his face. "Um, do you have some water, Li?"
"Of course, you sit with Emma and I'll get you some. You're welcome to stay and hang out for a while, Killian."
Killian shrugged. "I um.. I'm not sure I.. Let me ask Swan.." He wanted to see his brother, but he was also beginning to withdraw and want to pull away.
Emma glanced up as he settled in one of the chairs, she rubbed Charlotte's back and gave him a reassuring smile. "Are you alright, Babe?" She asked softly.
"Oh, aye, Love.. Just tired I guess." He shrugged, trying to brush it off.
"Would you like to hold Lottie? As independent as she is sometimes, she loves being held."
He shrugged. "I.. Is it okay if I do? I don't have to, it's fine.."
Emma shook her head. "Of course, holding her always makes me feel better on my bad days.. Maybe she'll help you too." She smiled softly, letting Charlotte down from her lap.
Charlotte toddled towards Killian, stopping at his knee and looking back at Emma. "Dada?" She asked.
Emma grinned. "Yeah, Baby, Dada.. Why don't you give him some cuddles? He's sad and needs some love."
Charlotte held her arms out to Killian. "Dada, up. Cuddle." She tried to tell him.
Killian lifted her into his lap, burying his face in her hair breathing in her baby scent. Charlotte wrapped her arms around his neck like she does with Emma. She did her best to give him a kiss on his cheek after a while.
He took a deep breath, holding his baby closer. He couldn't tell Emma about his fears, but they seemed to fade from his mind when he felt his daughter give him a kiss. Emma brushed her fingers through his hair.
"Do you want to stay and see Elsa, or do you want to head home? Whatever you're feeling up to." Liam said as he brought him a bottle of water.
He shrugged. "I'm tired, maybe we should head home.. If you don't mind?"
"Of course, Elsa understands. None of us want to overwhelm you." Liam smiled.
"We'll go home, and I'll make dinner for us and you can just rest on the couch.. With Lottie, or I can keep her occupied." Emma assured him.
"I'm sure Lottie and I can find a movie or something to watch while I rest on the couch.." He shrugged. "But.. Um.. Can I talk to Liam for a moment before we go?"
She nodded, lifting Charlotte from his lap and taking her into the kitchen so the brothers had their privacy. Liam sat on the couch near Killian, letting him speak whenever he was ready.
"Li.. Talking with the therapist today made me realize that I don't know what really happened to our crew, or you and.. I need to know. Even if it's awful, I need to know." He sighed.
Liam rubbed his hand over his face. "Aye, I was hoping you wouldn't ask, but you deserve to know." He took a deep breath before he began.
As Liam recounted his experience and the information he'd been given when he woke up, Killian's eyes fell closed as his own memories bombarded him with the pain again. He hadn't realized Liam had stopped talking until he felt Emma's hand against his cheek and heard his panting in the quiet room.
"Shh.. Take a deep breath for me, Killian. In and out slowly." Her voice was gentle, wanting to ease him back into reality.
Killian struggled to breathe deeply, trying to slow his breathing. He leaned into Emma's hand, his own grabbing onto her wrist. He was holding onto her, trying to ground himself, and his grip loosened as he began to relax.
Emma gave him a soft smile. "Hey.. Everything okay?" She asked softly.
He tried to nod, letting go of her wrist. When she pulled her hand back he noticed the red marks he'd left.
"I.. I hurt you." He shook his head, moving as quickly as he could from his chair and away from her. "No.. No." He shook his head.
Emma stood up, glancing at Liam briefly. Liam took Charlotte from the room, as Emma stepped towards Killian.
"I'm fine, Killian, you didn't hurt me." She assured him.
"Your arm has finger marks on it, Emma. I did that! You can't guarantee that I'm not going to hurt you again." He had tears in his eyes, one of his biggest fears had come true.
Emma shook her head. "You didn't mean to, Killian. I'm not hurt, and I'm not mad at you."
He rubbed his hand over his face roughly. "Maybe this time, but what if it's Lottie next time? I'm a danger to her, and to you, Emma. You're safer without me, maybe I should stay with Liam for a while."
Emma moved towards him. "I'm not letting you go, Killian. You're not going to hurt Lottie, even unconsciously you'd never hurt your baby. I know you're scared. Hell, I'm scared too, but I want to be by your side as you work through this. I love you, Killian Jones, and nothing you do will scare me away."
"I.. Emma, I can't risk that I'm going to have a flashback and injure either one of you. Please, I need you and Charlotte to be safe. That's all that matters to me."
She moved closer to him slowly, wanting him to understand that she wasn't scared. "I know that's what you want, but I also know that in your arms is where I feel the safest, KJ." She used his old nickname, hoping it would make him smile.
He sighed softly, cursing softly in another language. Emma reached out slowly and took his hand and his bad arm into her hands.
"You didn't mean to hurt me, and I believe you're not going to hurt our daughter. Pulling away from us won't help you.. And, if you're scared, I can make sure someone is always with you when you hold Lottie."
He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Aye.. I, um.. Okay, Love." He closed his eyes as she kissed his cheek, and pulled his arms so they wrapped around her waist. "If you're okay with this, I won't run away."
She hugged him tightly. "It's not going to be that easy to push me away, Jones. I need you, maybe as much as you need your family right now."
He had tears on his cheeks as he lifted her wrist and pressed a kiss to the red marks. "I love you, Emma."
"I love you too." She said softly as she gently wiped the tears from his cheeks. "You've had a long day, let's get you home, okay?"
He nodded. "Can I speak to Liam before we leave?"
"Of course, I'm going to get Lottie hooked into her car seat." She gave him a smile, and pressed on her toes to give him a quick kiss.
The corners of his lips turned up slightly when she pulled back. Liam and Killian sat in the living room again for a moment to talk. It took Killian a minute, but he eventually apologized for having such a bad reaction to Liam's story.
Liam gently clapped him on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Brother, it's understandable. If you need me, please call me, I don't care if it's three a.m. And trust Emma, she loves you and she isn't going to put Lottie, or you, or herself in any danger."
Killian sighed. "It's hard, Liam.. I didn't even realize I was squeezing her arm so tightly, what if something like that happens with Lottie?"
"You'll be fine, Killian. Emma said that she'd make sure someone was always with you when you had Lottie.. And once she has to go back to work, I'll help you. You're an amazing father, and even your subconscious wouldn't hurt her."
"Aye.." Killian said softly. "I'm glad you've been around for them the last few months. I mean, I'm glad I know that Lottie had you when her dad couldn't be here."
"I'll always be here for them, and for you. You should get home and get some rest, we'll spend some time together soon, I promise." Liam hugged Killian tightly.
Killian hugged his brother for a minute before they headed home. When they got to the apartment, Killian went straight to their room and laid on the bed. Emma changed Charlotte and got started on some dinner, wanting to give Killian a little bit of space to decompress.
Once dinner was in the oven, Emma took Charlotte to the bedroom so Emma could change too. Killian was just lying in bed staring at the ceiling, his fingers tracing over his bandages absently. Emma sat Charlotte near Killian's feet while she went into the closet.
Charlotte crawled up the bed towards Killian's head and settled near his head. "Dada sad?" She frowned at him.
Killian shifted so he could look at her. "No, love.. Dada's okay." He brushed one of her little curls back. "Come here, baby.." He said softly, opening his arm to her.
Charlotte snuggled against his chest happily. "Mama?"
"She's just getting dressed, Lottie.. She'll be back, and she'll get you some dinner." He was exhausted and just wanted to be alone, but having his daughter snuggled against his chest made him feel a little better.
Emma came back in her pajamas after taking her makeup off and switching her contacts for her glasses. She saw Killian half asleep with Charlotte clutching to his shirt, her own little eyes heavy.
"Baby.." Emma rubbed Charlotte's back. "Let's go get some dinner, okay? Daddy needs to get some sleep."
Charlotte rubbed her eyes and let Emma pick her up from the bed. Emma let Killian sleep while she fed Charlotte and got her ready for bed. As Emma was rocking her and reading a book, Killian came and leaned against the door frame.
Not much seemed to make him smile, but it made him happy to see Emma with their daughter, she was a natural and it was clear to him how much his two girls adored each other. Emma settled Charlotte into her bed, and checked the monitor before she met him at the door.
"Are you feeling better?" She asked softly.
Killian nodded. "Aye, thank you for giving me some space."
"Of course, I could tell you just needed some time and space. Do you want something to eat?"
He shrugged. "I guess so.. Will you um, eat with me? I'm sorry I pushed you away earlier.."
She kissed his cheek. "I'm not upset, Killian, and I'd love to eat something with you."
They spent that night talking quietly, eventually lying in bed as Emma told him stories about Charlotte. Killian twirled a strand of her hair through his fingers as he listened to her talk, her head resting on his chest.