Over the next few months Killian continued to go see a psychiatrist, and try to keep a grip on his anxiety and PTSD. He still had flashbacks, but he began to recognize the stimuli and did his best to avoid them when he could.
One Friday, he and Charlotte were meeting Emma and David for lunch at a diner within walking distance of their apartment. Just after a waitress led them to a table, someone accidentally dropped dishes startling Killian could feel an anxiety attack starting.
He knew he couldn't stop it from happening now, so he made sure Charlotte was occupied at the table. His vision became hazy, and his senses were over heightened. His breathing became labored, and when the waiter tried to touch his shoulder to check on him, Killian only started freaking out more.
When Emma got there, two police officers were trying to handcuff Killian and a stranger was attempting to comfort a bawling Charlotte.
"Excuse me? What are you doing?" She crossed her arms over her chest, she was upset and freaking out.
"Ma'am.. Please back up." An officer said shortly.
Emma shook her head. "No, that is my husband. Uncuff him, please."
"We can't do that, Miss. He is a danger to everyone here, and is not listening to our instructions."
"Killian.." She moved closer, despite the officer's protests. "He's likely having a panic attack. He doesn't know where he is right now." She knelt in front of Killian, hoping to get his attention.
One of the officers attempted to grab Emma, but before he could pull her away Emma heard David's voice.
"Would one of you like to tell me why you're touching my sister?" He snapped, the two deputies looking up at him.
"Lieutenant Nolan.. Apologies, we were called here for a violent customer, Sir.. And this woman- uh, your sister- didn't listen to our instructions. We also had to call Child Protective Services.."
He sighed softly, glancing at Emma knelt in front of Killian. "That's her husband, and he has PTSD. He gets terrible attacks and your handcuffs are not helping him at all. Remove them. Now. I'll deal with CPS when they get here."
One of the deputies nodded and took the hand cuffs off of Killian. David moved to speak with the customer trying to comfort Charlotte, taking his niece from them easily.
"Killian, I'm here.. It's gonna be okay.. Try and focus on me, okay?" Emma spoke softly.
Killian met her eyes, but Emma could see they were still glossy. "Swan?" He whimpered.
She gave him a gentle smile. "Hi.. Can I touch you, KJ?" When he nodded, she reached out and brushed his hair back from his forehead. "It's okay, everything is gonna be okay, I promise." She kissed his forehead.
It took a few more minutes, but Killian eventually threw himself around Emma holding her a little tighter than he should. Emma let him hold her, burying her face in his neck. She could feel his tears getting her shirt wet, and hear him mumbling about how sorry he was.
"Shh.. It's okay, you didn't mean to.. Everyone's okay, and David's here.. We'll get this sorted out." She ran her hand over his back to soothe him.
David rubbed Charlotte's back gently. "I'm Lieutenant Nolan. Thank you for trying to calm my niece here.. Can you tell me exactly what happened?"
"Of course.. I think it started after some dishes were dropped, it made a loud noise that scared a lot of us. He started having a panic attack, and the waiter touched him.. That's when it went downhill.." The woman told David.
David nodded. "Okay, we'll get this figured out.. How did you know it was a panic attack?"
"I get them myself sometimes.. I was in a bad car accident a few years ago, and I can imagine that having the police called on you during an attack. I'm glad you and his wife got here when you did."
"I am too.. Enjoy the rest of your meal, and if you need anything let me know."
"Of course, Officer. I hope he's okay, I'll do anything I can to help if they try to press charges. He didn't do anything wrong, I wouldn't react well either if a stranger touched me. I'll speak to CPS when they get here.."
David pressed a kiss to Charlotte's hair. "Thank you."
Charlotte had started to calm her tears, recognizing the comfort of her uncle. David moved them closer to Emma and Killian, wanting to check on his brother-in-law. Emma had moved into a chair next to him, and was gently messing with his fingers.
"Hey there.." He said softly. "Everything okay?"
"Aye, Dave.. I'll be okay in the end." Killian had his bad arm wrapped around Emma's waist.
He nodded. "Well, I have a little girl here who I think needs some cuddles from her parents."
Emma immediately took Charlotte, cuddling her close. She wiped her cheeks with her thumb gently. "Hi, Beautiful.. I love you so much."
"Mommy." She whimpered. "Dada okay?"
"He's okay, Lottie. Remember we talked about how some times Daddy gets scared?" Emma asked softly.
"Aye.." Charlotte said softly. "Cuddle Dada?"
Killian reached his good hand out, and messed with Charlotte's hair. "Aye, Princess.. I'd love some cuddles."
Charlotte climbed over Emma's lap and into Killian's, burying her face into his neck. Killian rubbed her back, rocking her gently. Emma turned from them to David after a moment.
Emma was livid at the situation, she knew that the handcuffs only made everything worse for Killian. "David, my husband was a prisoner of war. Those handcuffs only made it worse, and he wasn't being violent or lashing out. I'm pissed."
"I know, Em.. I don't want to worry you, but they called CPS.." He sighed. "Stay with your family, and I'm going to go talk to the manager and the employee. We'll get this handled, but Killian needs you to just support him right now."
She had tears in her eyes as she nodded and David pressed a kiss to her forehead. Emma turned back to Killian, running her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.
"How are you feeling, KJ? Can I get you anything?" She asked softly.
Killian had been murmuring to Charlotte. "I, um, I'm alright, Swan.. I've been better, but I'm glad you're here." He sighed. "This was my biggest fear, and it happened, Emma. They're going to try and take Lottie from me." A tear fell down his cheek.
"I won't let that happen, Killian. I promise you that." She wiped his cheek. "You're the best father, and it isn't your fault that you have PTSD, or that you had an attack."
Killian nodded a little, adjusting Charlotte against him. "I.. I'm glad David is here. That they knew who he was."
Emma kissed his cheek. "I know, I am too. We'll get to go home soon, I'm going to take the rest of the afternoon off and we can cuddle our girl on the couch all night."
Killian nodded, Emma only moved when CPS got to the restaurant. She and David spoke to the worker.
"We can't leave the child with him until our decision is made, Ma'am."
"Fine." Emma rolled her eyes. She talked quietly to Killian as she lifted Charlotte into her arms, Killian buried his face in his hands.
Emma bounced Charlotte gently as she listened to the social worker talk to David before asking Emma some questions.
"This is your daughter, correct?"
"Yes, this is my daughter Charlotte." Emma rubbed her back. "Can we please hurry this up so we can get back to her Daddy?"
"I just have to ask some questions, make sure that this is the safest place for her." The woman made a note and gestured towards a table. "Let's sit."
Emma sat next to David, she knew how this worked. Emma answered all of the questions, and gave the case worker all of the information she could need to do her job and leave. The woman eventually left them alone, and Emma immediately took Charlotte back to Killian. She could tell that she was upset and wanted to be held by her dad.
Emma took them home, and David brought food for them so they didn't have to stay there any longer.
"Why don't you go put on something more comfortable, Killian, maybe wash your face and just take a minute?" Emma spoke softly, setting the diaper bag on the counter.
He nodded. "Aye, um.. Can I kiss you first?" He asked softly.
Emma gave him a soft smile, stepping into his space and resting her hands on his hips. "Of course, you can kiss me whenever you want to."
Killian kissed her softly, his hand resting against the small of her back. "I love you, thank you for believing in me."
"I love you too, I will always believe in you, Killian. Take a minute, Lottie and I will be here when you're ready."
Killian took a brief shower, hoping to wash the feeling off of him. He put on a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt, messing with his wet hair. He took a minute to text Liam, assuring him he was fine, but letting him know what happened that day.
When David got there, and Killian was still in the room Emma came to check on him. She sat next to him on the bed, rubbing his back gently.
"Hey, you okay?" She asked softly.
He nodded. "I will be, Love. I'm sorry that this happened, and that you had to deal with CPS.. I know you aren't their biggest fans.."
She shook her head. "Hey, it's not your fault.. I know you have PTSD, and that you can't always control it." She laced her fingers through his. "And I deal with CPS at work, and I would die before I let them take Charlotte from you, or from me."
Killian rubbed his hand over his face. "I'm sorry that I'm not the man you fell in love with, Emma.. I'm sorry that I make your life even more difficult. I know you have your own shit that you have to deal with, and simply because you married me you have to deal with my shit too."
"Killian.." Emma frowned. "When I married you, I knew that you were in the Navy. I understood what that could mean for us and our relationship. Yes, I have my own shit, my issues and mental health. But there is no one else's shit that I'd ever want to deal with than yours."
"You didn't sign up for the PTSD and anxiety and depression.. You could've had a completely well adjusted husband and had completely well adjusted children.."
"We all know I'm not well adjusted, Killian. I don't know if any kid that is mine would be well adjusted either." She kissed the back of his hand. "But, I think Lottie is doing pretty damn good. She's brilliant, and kind, and she absolutely adores you."
He frowned. "Bloody hell, Emma.. I just.." He finally met her eyes, tears on his cheeks. "I don't know what to do."
Emma pulled him into her arms, holding him tightly. "Shh.. It's okay, Babe. You don't have to know what to do, I'm right here. We will get through this, together, and nothing is going to take me away from your side." She kissed his temple. "Hell, half the time I don't know what to do either.."
Killian rubbed his hand over her back. "I love you.." He whispered. "Um, can we eat? I need to eat to take my medicine.."
Thank y'all for reading and reviewing! This chapter was my attempt at some angst, I hope I was successful.