Omega Nebula
Amada System
November 08, 2183
The SSV Normandy reeled as a beam of charged particles pierced through its hull. State of the art shields and armor were shredded like tissue paper. Crew members were engulfed in flames as within minutes their once-proud ship was reduced to a burning wreckage.
Ashley Williams raced through the chaos, with her hard suit equipped and a breather helmet in her grasp. Her hair was singed, and a bruise was already blossoming on her cheek after taking a painful fall.
Reaching the second deck, Ashley stopped breathless in front of her commanding officers.
Ben Shepard was already suited up, and after pulling a crewmember out from scrap of debris Sam followed suit.
Ben walked to Ashley, helping her fix on her helmet.
"You alright?" he asked.
"I'm fine. How about the two of you?"
Another explosion rocked the ship, and Sam leaned back to avoid a hunk of shrapnel that buried itself in the wall behind him.
"Oh, we're great. Never better."
"The distress beacon's ready for launch," Ben stated briskly. "Time to get the hell out of here."
Ashley seized a fire extinguisher and held an incoming burst of flames at bay. "Will the Alliance get here in time?"
"They won't abandon us now. Commander!"
Sam stood at attention. Since the battle of the Citadel, his elder brother had become more comfortable addressing him by his proper rank. Not just by name.
"You and the gunnery chief get everyone to the escape pods."
Ben did his best to remain calm. But he could feel dread creeping up on him with every passing second. He knew the crew had minutes at best before the ship came apart, sending them all into the cold void of space.
Activating the escape pods, Ben almost did not notice another the next explosion, the next cloud of debris. Until a shimmering barrier surrounded him. The lethal shards of metal bounced off the field and clattered to the floor harmlessly, and he looked behind him.
Liara T'Soni had entered the room, taking up another fire extinguisher to help Ashley.
"Everyone's on their way. But Joker is still in the cockpit, he won't abandon the ship!"
The asari eyed Sam for a moment.
"I'm not leaving either."
Striding over to Liara, Sam took the fire extinguisher from her and pointed her to the pods.
"I'll go after Joker. You need to help Ben get everyone on the evac shuttles."
Ben whirled around sharply.
"No chance in hell you're going up there alone," he barked. "I'm coming with you."
Ben marched to Sam, taking the fire extinguisher from him before throwing it away. The flames around them were barely slowing down, dousing them any further would be pointless.
Liara looked anxiously at Sam.
"But…"
"I'll be okay. Just everyone out of here."
Sam reached out to Liara, taking her hand in his and squeezing tightly. Her face was hidden behind a visor, but if Ben looked hard enough, he could almost see her blue eyes staring at Sam. Pleading with him not to leave.
"Commander, let's move." Ben did not want to give the order, but he had no choice. There was no time for goodbyes. Every decision they made now was life and death.
And Sam knew it too.
"Samuel…"
The human and asari held their gaze another agonizing moment before he let go of her hand and stepped away.
"Liara, go. Now."
"…Aye aye."
Sam turned away from his lover and walked to the stairwell leading to the CIC. When he was far enough ahead, Ben took Liara by the shoulders, giving her a comforting nod.
"I'll bringing him back, Liara. I promise."
Without another word, Ben ushered Ashley and Liara to the exist and slammed his fist on the ship's siren. Turning on his heel he raced to the stairwell behind Sam.
Before long he caught up to Sam and they navigated fiery halls of their dying ship.
"You know, Anderson's never letting us live this one down," Ben said, trying to lighten the mood.
It did not work.
As the pair navigated the steps, the Normandy's hull groaned and creaked horribly. Over the awful din, Ben heard Joker's voice cracking in and out over the intercom.
"This… SSV Normandy… Heavy damage... unknown enemy!"
"He won't leave willingly," Sam remarked, shaking his head.
"We'll probably have to drag him out of that cockpit kicking and screaming."
"Joker's probably going to hate us for it," Ben sighed, "But if he lives long enough to pay back whoever wrecked his ship, I think he'll understand."
The Shepards reached the now-sealed door to the CIC. The flip of a switch later, all air around them was sucked away and everything fell silent.
The hull above was torn away. Far off, out in space, Ben could see the nearest planet in the Amada system looming over his ship. Around him, what was once the CIC was a smoldering, empty wreck. Empty chairs and displaced consoles floated aimlessly like leaves in a light autumn wind.
Stepping slowly and methodically, Ben and his brother walked towards the cockpit. Past the kinetic barrier was Joker, working the ship controls as breakneck speed.
Ben was the first to cross the threshold. He seized the back of Joker's chair, shaking it in a vain attempt to draw the pilot away.
"Come on, Joker. We have to go."
"No," Joker yelled. "I won't abandon the Normandy. I can still save her!"
The cockpit's main console flickered in front of them both, nearly going out. Ben leaned in front of Joker, making sure his pilot and friend could see him.
"The Normandy's lost. Going down with the ship won't change that."
Joker's movements lagged bit by bit, until his arms finally dropped to his side. Sighing in resignation he slouched back in his chair, deflating in front of Ben.
"Yeah… Yeah, okay."
Even saying the words visibly pained Joker.
"Come on," the pilot asked, "Help me up."
Ben took Joker by the arm, trying to be as gentle as possible given the circumstances. But his grip tightened reflexively when he heard Sam shout from behind them both.
"They're coming around for another shot!"
Sure enough, Ben looked up to see the enemy vessel bearing down on the Normandy again. It was close enough that he had a decent view now. The ship looked like an asteroid that had been hollowed out and crammed haphazardly with machinery, an exhaust port and several panels that served as armor.
The front of the ship was like a gaping maw, out of which protruded a cannon of sorts. Crackling with energy, the cannon lit up and let loose another beam of energy, pelting the Normandy with enough force to carve the ship in half.
His silhouette lit up by the blast, Sam raced over to Ben and Joker. He took Joker by his other arm, ignoring the fragile man's pained protests.
"The last escape pod's this way, let's go!"
The two soldiers hoisted Joker up and stumbled to the pod door, which slid open at their approach. With one last heave Ben set Joker down in the pod and gestured for Sam to follow.
"We're almost there. Go on."
Sam did as he was told, taking one step over the threshold.
Then he stopped, dead in his tracks. Looking straight up he visibly braced himself. A glowing blue field ignited around him.
"What…"
Before Ben could say another word, a shockwave emanated from Sam's hands and hit him square in the chest. He flew back into the escape pod, grunting as he hit the far wall. Bright lights flashed before his eyes, and he thought at first it was the impact.
It was a beam of energy from the attacking vessel, cutting through the floor where he had just been standing. Had he stayed there a second longer, he would have been vaporized.
But if he was out of danger, what about…
"No!"
He was on his feet in the blink of an eye. Ben lurched towards the pod door, headfirst towards the inferno that was now the CIC.
"Wait," Joker protested as he tried to grab Ben and hold him back from the flames.
Grabbing the edge of the escape pod's door, Ben looked across the CIC, searching for Sam.
Then he saw him. The young commander was hanging on to a torn wall panel several feet away, edging his way toward the escape pod's release switch. His hard suit was badly scorched, and his helmet cracked.
With considerable difficulty, Sam reached the switch and raised his hand.
"Commander!"
Sam stopped short. For a second, the two Shepards looked at one another. Ben tried to think of some way to make it to Sam, to pull him back into the pod. Some way to get them out of this calamity in one piece.
Then Sam shook his head.
His hand rose again.
They both knew what was about to happen. Ben's eyes widened, and he reached out to his little brother.
But it was too late.
"SAM!"
The door closed.
In a final cataclysmic blast, the SSV Normandy, the ship that defeated Sovereign and ended the Eden Prime war was obliterated.
A scant few escape pods flew away from the dying Normandy as it plummeted to the frozen surface of Alchera. Against a dim sunset, a lone figure followed the dead ship.
Then he disappeared.
Sam Shepard was gone.
Emily Wong
"If you need a minute, that's alright."
Sam Shepard
"I'm fine."
Emily Wong
"For years now, there's been speculation on the truth of what happened that day. While the Alliance has decided the exact details of these events should remain classified, am I to understand you're fully on the record about this?
You died?"
Sam Shepard
"Yes. I did."
(An aerial shot of the SSV Normandy wreckage, on the planet Alchera)
"The destruction of the Normandy rocked the Alliance to its core. What had started as a simple routine mission had cost the lives of one of humanity's greatest heroes.
In the days following the attack, the Normandy crew would demand action from the Council. But to no avail.
Facing mounting pressure from the Council to suppress talks of the Reapers, the Alliance grounded and disbanded the Normandy's crew."
Jeff Moreau
"The whole thing was a sham.
Everyone knew it wasn't the geth who shot us down. But that didn't matter to the idiots in charge.
Look, I know this is airing on public television, but I'm gonna be blunt about this. Twenty-one of our people got spaced, and those f***ers told us to keep quiet about it. It wasn't a surprise when they broke us up.
And Ben… I wasn't there to see what happened between him and the Council. But when he walked out that door, I knew he was done. Done with them. Done with the Alliance.
He just walked away from everything."
(A photograph of the discharged Commander Shepard)
"Bitter at the Council's inaction, Ben Shepard rescinded his status as a Spectre. After weeks of continued defiance, he was discharged from the Alliance navy and departed the Citadel with no intention of returning.
For two years, various sightings placed the former commander around the Terminus systems. Rumors abounded of his work as a soldier-for-hire, and a partnership with the paramilitary group Cerberus."
Sam looked blankly at the TV screen.
If he closed his eyes, he could see the events of that day play out. As if he was there, back on the Normandy again. Floating amidst the debris of his ship, the air being sucked out of his lungs and his armor about to ignite as he plunged towards a frozen grave
He tried not to think of it often. But when he did, he had to look around just to remind himself he was still here. Here, on the ground.
Several of the crew had their screens turned off or were simply muted. They had no interest in watching this, it was clear. It was not a coincidence, Sam knew, those left watching were the ones who joined after his…
Reconstruction.
"It was that bad, huh?" Jack asked with a grimace.
"You all sounded so… happy together. Almost made me sick, hearing about it all. I can't believe it all came apart like that."
Tali's voice chimed in.
"Neither could we. After Sovereign, Saren and the geth, we thought nothing could touch us. No one saw the Collectors coming."
Jack nodded. "Yeah, I bet. Riding high for a few months, feeling like you can take on the whole world, then those ugly four-eyed bastards show up.
Uh, no offense Javik."
"None taken," the Prothean answered. "They were no longer my brethren. Just another tool of the Reapers."
"Yeah. Whatever you want to call them, they come along and just like that, we're all knocked right back down the galactic totem pole." Zaeed was a gruff, pitiless man on his better days, yet his voice was uncharacteristically sad.
He added, "Nothing like a blast of bitter, harsh truth right in the face."
The man was speaking from experience, Sam figured.
"Where he was going, I'm surprised I never ran into Ben in those days," Jack remarked.
"How the hell did he get in bed with Cerberus?"
Omega
December 20, 2184
The shuttle had barely finished docking when Ben Shepard stepped off. Walking at a brisk pace, he entered the grimy hive that was Omega and surveyed his surroundings with a look of disgust.
It was everything Liara had described, and more. Looking at it now, Ben almost felt nostalgic for the dirty city streets he once called home. The asteroid, long mined for its rich supply of element zero, was a haven for some of the worst of the galaxy's criminals.
On the current level on which he was standing, Ben could see the street reach far off in one direction towards a dark, depressing slum. There, he imagined countless refugees and impoverished families huddled up in ramshackle homes, with little food and barely any power. Or perhaps no power at all.
He pictured lost batarians huddled in an alleyway, warmed by a small fire. Or the corpse of some poor human who turned the wrong corner and ran into a pack of vorcha.
Even the air of the station was old, unpleasant. It carried the scent of rust, smoke, and hundreds of years of spilled blood.
In front of him, Ben saw a towering structure marked with a neon sign so pink it almost made his eyes hurt. On the display, scantily clad asari dancers writhed about, beckoning passersby to come in.
To enter Afterlife.
Ben strode to the entrance of the club, where an imposing elcor bouncer waited for him.
"Amicable welcome: Commander Shepard, your contact waits inside."
Ben bristled at the title.
"Just 'Shepard', if it's all the same to you."
The elcor massive head bowed.
"Sincerely apologetic: Understood. Good luck."
Ben passed the bouncer, noting the wary looks several other attendees were giving him. He was no longer wearing N7 designated armor, nor was he carrying Alliance-issued weapons. But they all knew who he was. Almost everyone in the Terminus systems knew.
And though he had not served on any Alliance-sanctioned mission in weeks, every soul entering Afterlife gave him a wide berth.
Not that they needed to. Ben had no interest in righting the galaxy's wrongs anymore.
He was here for one reason, and one only.
The doors to Afterlife opened in front of him, and Ben was greeted with an ethereal synth melody that reverberated through the whole club. It was an old song, one Ben heard playing in Chora's Den on his last trip to the Citadel. The deep bass sent tremors through him, from his head down to his feet.
On a platform above him, half a dozen naked dancers gyrated and shimmied to the beat of the music.
A few years ago, he might have loved this place…
Ben caught himself, clenching his hands. He shook his head angrily. Stupid. There was no time to dwell on what used to be. All that mattered was the here and now.
He scanned the club until he found his contact, a burly man in black and white armor.
"Shepard."
Ben glared down at the man's chestplate, and the angular logo stamped across it.
"All right, let's get this done. Where's your boss?"
The Cerberus operative gestured to a door behind him.
"In there."
Ben moved to the door without a second look. When it opened, Ben was greeted by a dimly lit longue marked with a single table. Two more armored Cerberus agents waited by the door, and as Ben entered, he kept his eye on them both.
Sitting on the far end of the table was a stunningly beautiful woman. She was elegant and poised, with full red lips and icy blue eyes that stared at Ben as he came in. Her pale face was framed with locks of dark brown hair that cascaded down to her shoulders.
Unlike her compatriots she was not clad in armor, but rather a bodysuit that clung to her like a second skin. At first glance Ben could have mistaken it for simple spandex, but upon closer inspection he saw it was textured and layered, likely with bulletproof materials. Just like the others, the Cerberus insignia was emblazoned on her lapel.
She was almost impossibly poised, keeping her hands folded on the stable and remaining perfectly still.
"Ben Shepard. Doctor T'Soni told me you were coming."
"Miranda Lawson?"
The operative nodded, gesturing to the table in front of her.
"Please, sit."
Ben did as she asked, meeting her gaze warily.
"Liara told me you all had a hell of a time with the Blue Suns, and the Shadow Broker."
Miranda chuckled.
"It was nothing we couldn't handle.
I'm insulted, really. Someone as meticulous as the Shadow Broker should have known the Blue Suns were no match for us."
She looked him up and down, taking note of his appearance. Ben caught his reflection in the glass she held by her side. In the month since the destruction of the Normandy, Ben's appearance had grown less than professional. His brown hair was unkempt, his stubble grown into a rough beard.
Dark circles lay beneath his eyes, on account of being unable to sleep long lately.
"How are you feeling?"
Ben almost laughed at the question.
Glaring at her he spat, "Small talk isn't your strong suit, is it Lawson?"
Miranda raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"I watched the only family I've ever known get blasted into space. I watched my ship get ripped to pieces. My crew and I saved all life in the galaxy, and the Council thanks us for it by shutting us down.
How the fuck do you think I'm feeling?"
Miranda patiently let Ben finish before weighing her answer.
"I wasn't trying to make small talk. The Illusive Man didn't just send me here to establish contact, he wanted to assess your state of mind and your readiness for any missions going forward."
"Missions? You expect me to work for you?"
The Cerberus agent sighed.
"With us, Shepard. I can see there's a lot of work to be done. And rest assured, I will do everything I can to help. While my organization and your Alliance may have our differences, I assure you we are every bit as committed to the protection of humanity as you are.
When we consulted Doctor T'Soni and requested an audience with you, we knew the risks. As a former Spectre and Alliance war hero, we risked compromising Cerberus..."
As Miranda went on, Ben slipped his hands under the table, running his fingers on its smooth surface.
Suddenly, Miranda stopped. Her eyes shot downward and she shook her head in bemusement.
"If you're looking for a bug," Miranda stated curtly, "You needn't worry. My superior ordered complete transparency in our dealings."
Ben's hand stopped, his fingers balling up into a fist.
Liara was right, she is quick on her feet.
"Transparency... That's great."
He regarded Miranda with no small amount of suspicion. "Forgive me if I don't exactly take you at your word. Your superiors and I don't have the friendliest history. And that's to say nothing of my crew. Does the word "Akuze" ring a bell?"
Miranda looked down, visibly annoyed. She appeared to have expected this.
"Akuze was a mistake. An operation carried out without any consideration to the inherent risks, or the Illusive Man's explicit approval. Needless to say, we weren't disappointed when we learned what happened to those responsible."
Her eyes met his again.
"Your doing?"
"Yes." Ben did not even try to deny it. Both of them were willing to put their cards of the table now, so why bother?
"And if I find out anyone else was involved, I'll make sure the same happens to them.
Let's get this straight, Lawson, I'm here because Liara told me what you can do for us. That's all."
Miranda's brows quirked.
"Yes, you've stayed in touch with her. Where is she going now?"
"Don't know," Ben answered.
"And it doesn't matter. Wherever she's going, whatever she's up to, I still trust her."
Miranda's lips curled in an infuriating smirk. "But you still don't trust us. Am I right?"
Ben forced a smile back at her.
"Do you really need me to answer that question?"
"I'm not asking you to trust me, Shepard. All I'm asking is that you hear me out.
When that's done, we can move forward."
Ben was surprised. He half-expected Miranda to play the not so different card, or appeal to some selfish pride in the human race, or any other tactic her people liked to fall back on.
No. She was playing it as straight as she could with him.
"Fair enough," he replied.
"Then let's get it out of the way..."
Leaning forward he placed his hand on the table, his fist still clenched.
"Where is my brother?"
Miranda visibly hesitated to answer at first. After an uncomfortable pause she raised her arm and an omni-tool flared to life.
"While I can't tell you the exact location of our laboratory, I can give you regular updates on our progress. The Lazarus Project is perhaps the most difficult I've ever taken part in. The cost alone is astronomical.
We're not sure if it will even succeed."
Ben's omni-tool beeped.
"But," Miranda continued, "If things do look up, the Illusive Man is willing to allow certain... accommodations."
"Like what?" Ben asked.
Miranda shrugged.
"We know you've taken the odd job here and there to make ends meet. Bounty hunting. Assassinating the local slaver or pirate leader. If that's what we're to expect of you for the foreseeable future, Cerberus can allocate any resources you need.
And, when we're certain the Lazarus Project is viable, you can see the young commander."
Glancing down, Ben saw a message pass across the tool.
Lazarus
"Believe it or not, I understand what this means to you, Shepard. And what it would mean to all our people if Sam Shepard returned. He's not just a soldier, he's an icon. Like you."
"You just say all these things..."
Ben's face remained stony, impassive. But the flush that cross his cheeks betrayed the hurt he felt just hearing Sam's name.
"He's more than that."
"Then," Miranda asked, "You understand why this has to happen? The two of you pulled off a miracle when you stopped Saren and his geth. Your crew stopped the genocide of our race, of every race.
We'll need you again, and soon. Both of you."
She peered at Ben intently.
"You don't have to give us an answer now. What I just sent you, it carries a direct line to my cell. When you feel like it, give me a call."
Miranda stood up, circling the table until she stood next to Ben. He rose as well, meeting her face to face.
Putting a hand on her hip she smiled at the former soldier, nodding respectfully.
"I'll be in touch, Shepard. Good luck."
With that, she walked out of the room, her guards following closely. Ben watched her stride off into the club until the door closed, leaving him in the dark. Alone.
Bit by bit, his eyes fell to his omni-tool again, and the word Lazarus. He knew the world from an old scripture, one he skimmed every now and then in his younger days.
Lazarus. A man who died before his time, mourned by all who knew him. Raised from the dead by a miracle. A miracle was what Miranda was promising Ben now.
Ben stood, rooted in place, weighed down by the choice in front of him. Everything he had ever been taught told him not to trust Cerberus. They brought nothing but trouble to the Alliance and the galaxy at large. They brought years of pain to his little brother. Pain that would never truly go away.
But if there was even a chance they could save him, a chance he could see Sam again...
He felt an impossible anger boiling up inside him. It was wrong. Everything that happened these past few weeks was wrong.
And now Cerberus, no one else but Cerberus, was willing to make it right.
Ben knew what he had to do. It could cost him everything he still had. Every scrap of good will he had left in the Alliance, the friends he made on the Normandy.
And when Sam woke up, if he ever woke up, things would never be the same.
Closing his eyes, Ben resigned himself to whatever came next.
I'm sorry.
One day, I hope you understand.
It was past mid-day now. The wind was picking up since Ben and Miranda had climbed to the top of the mountain, and from where he was sitting, he watched the trees below ripple like waves on the ocean.
It was beautiful. A welcome distraction from what was on the monitor.
Wong and her colleagues promised him they would be as fair, as unbiased as possible regarding his time outside the law. No specifics would be given, no rumors confirmed or denied.
Yet it was all Ben could do not to toss the small screen away. Just the mention of the name Cerberus brought a foul taste to his mouth. Years ago, he knew the role they played in Sam's traumatic mission on Akuze. That should have been enough. Enough to keep him away from them.
But if he had, he may never have seen Sam's face again.
Quite the conundrum, Anderson said to him once. Others would have been quick to condemn what he did, joining Cerberus. Even Admiral Hackett might have given him a sideways glance or two in those miserable two years.
But never Anderson.
"God," Miranda said behind him, rubbing her bare arms. "Spend enough days on air-conditioned space stations or luxury suites on some remote planet, you forget how cold it gets here."
Ben looked back at her with a smirk. "Come on over. I'll warm you."
Miranda laughed at the less-than-subtle invitation.
"I hope you realize how awful that was," she commented, sauntering over to him, and taking a seat.
"Worked, didn't it?"
"You ass."
The two looked out at the mountain range, around them, and Ben felt Miranda's hand snake its way into his. It was a pleasant diversion, and Ben almost forgot what had him so sullen.
Until Miranda looked down at the monitor.
"Oh, dear. They're already gotten to Collectors, have they?"
"Yeah."
Giving his hand a squeeze Miranda asked worriedly, "Do you have any regrets, looking back?"
Ben shrugged.
"Sometimes. I regret not keeping in touch with Anderson. I regret letting Joker, and all the rest just slip away. I could have done more to keep it together, I know it.
I just…"
It was hard to think of anything else to say, so Ben simple stopped talking.
"I understand," Miranda answered. "Believe me, I do. If anything happened to Oriana, I don't know what I'd do. Where I'd go. When there's only one person you can really call family, you want to hold onto them and never let go.
Soon your whole life starts to circle around just the two of you. And you find yourself wondering if life is even worth living without them."
This brought a smile to Ben's face.
"You just told me my whole life story. Was I always that easy to read?"
Miranda looked up, as if pondering his answer hard, before nodding teasingly.
"Always. From the day we first met."
The two shared a laugh. Not a bitter, tired laugh as Ben had gotten so used to, for so long. The kind two old retirees share, looking back on the wild and stupid time that came before.
"What about Sam? When he woke up, what did you make of him?"
Miranda sighed.
"God. I'm surprised any of us made it out alive."
Author's Note: And here, we begin the events of Mass Effect 2.
This chapter, I wanted to retell the opening from the perspective of the survivors. Put the horror and heartbreak on full display. In future chapters I will revisit the scene from the perspective of Sam Shepard, the one who actually died. And I will explore just what dying and resurrecting does to a man.
In addition, Ben Shepard's fall from grace is central to his arc in fight against the Collectors. I may post a one-shot or two depicting the aftermath of the Normandy's destruction, and where Ben goes in the two years leading up to the Lazarus Project's success. We'll also see the beginnings of his romance with one Cerberus cheerleader. After introducing our couple in media res, much of this story will show how we got here.
Next time, Sam Shepard wakes up and embarks on his new mission.
Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time!