Chapter warnings for suicidal thoughts.
Bagatelle in A minor; Fur Elise, Beethoven played softly in the background of the classy teashop where some women were gathered around a table. These women formed the parent association of KSA. In simpler terms, they were the rich and classy mothers that always wanted to show off their wealth and children's abilities.
The easiest outlet to do so was this meeting that held every Thursday evening at Cálido y Acogedte Uchiha Mikoto was among the women there. It was just for fun and because she was among the board of directors of Konoha School of arts but being the mother of the school's ace meant that they had a lot of expectations from her.
The meeting mostly entailed things about the school and stuff that needed sponsorship and such; it was getting boring but that was until one of the mothers mentioned her name in a conversation.
"Say, Uchiha-san, I was not aware that Sasuke-kun danced for local events. Is that something new?" Mrs Haruno Mebuki, Sakura's mother, asked.
"No it is not. He does not. My son is a pianist and a ballerina, perhaps you saw wrong?" Mikoto dismissed.
"I am certain it was Sasuke-kun I saw, I even have proof." Mebuki removed a file from her designer brand bag (which was placed on the table as a blatant display of wealth) and passed it over to the Uchiha who took it from her. "Hyuga Hinata was also among them."
Mikoto removed a picture from the manilla envelope that showed a picture of a very local set up where you would never find someone as sophisticated as an Uchiha, and in the midst of that very set up was an Uchiha. Sasuke Uchiha. The ravenette frowned upon seeing the picture. Her husband would not like this.
After the meeting was over and Mikoto was seated in the privacy of her car, she removed the picture to view it again. She barely saw Sasuke with a smile on his face these days but here he was, smiling in the picture. It was too bad that street dancing was not acceptable in Uchiha standards.
As usual her husband was a step ahead of her in figuring things out. It turned out that he monitored the boys from a distance in the first place and not only Sasuke but Itachi had gotten into trouble too. She was on her way to greet Fugaku and was one step away from knocking the door when the conversation inside reached her ears.
"What is her name?" Fugaku's voice took that tone that showed that he knew the answer to the question asked but he still asked anyway. Who was the person in question?
"Her name is Uchiwa Izumi." Itachi's voice responded.
"Which school does she attend?" Fugaku asked boredly yet sternly.
"She does not attend any university-" Itachi was cut off by a slam which Mikoto assumed was Fugaku's hand banging on the study table.
"A drop out? Itachi, a dropout?!" The man angrily hissed. Mikoto frowned. What was going on? It didn't take too long to piece two and two together and realise what was happening.
"Izumi is not a dropout father, she is just taking a lag year–!" Itachi started to defend whoever the girl was that Mikoto was certain that he had taken interest on but was cut off by her husband's angry shout.
"Same difference! You have a great future ahead of you, son, and you can not afford to waste it on distractions. What kind of example are you setting for Sasuke?"
There was silence and a bit of shuffling for a while before Itachi
"Father please leave Sasuke out of this."
Sasuke?
"Nonsense! I shall not have any of my sons playing around with vagabonds. You will break whatever relationship you have with that girl. Sasuke and I need to talk."
Mikoto's horrified gasp was amplified by Itachi's astounded yell.
"Father! You can't..."
"I just happen to know the owner of the building that cafe is in." The threat was clear in her husband's voice. Itachi was silent for a while before conceding.
"Yes father." His voice sounded strained with resolve not to cry. "I would break every relationship I have with Izumi."
The door angrily opened and out her first son came from the study room. She had never seen the boy lose his composure this much to pointedly ignore her presence at the door and storm to his room. Itachi was not one for tantrums, that was Sasuke's forte, so being forced to break up with that girl he liked must've been so painful.
Mikoto was slightly sad that she didn't even know about her in the first place. This only showed that she was not as close to the boys as she would have liked. She wanted to go to Itachi but she figured that he needed his space. The woman entered the study and closed the door softly behind her.
"You should cut the boys some slack, Fugaku." She spoke as she made her way closer. "Otherwise they would go out of control one day."
Fugaku, of course, regarded her words like they were spoken from a twelve year old which caused the woman to sigh. "I know how to handle my sons, Mikoto, they would not go out of control." He said firmly. "I am training them to be great individuals in the future. As time passes they would recognise my efforts and appreciate it."
"Of course." Mikoto said dismissively.
"Hn." Fugaku grunted. "Hyuga also has a difficult time reining his children in huh?" He spoke more to himself than to anybody else as he regarded Hinata in the picture. The Hyuga girl was not exceptional so she never caugh the Uchiha head's attention until now.
He guessed it was typical for people like her to coerce Sasuke into doing such things; she and that Namikaze child. Such company was not allowed to be kept by his children, they were bad influence. And he made sure to inform Hyuga about his delinquent daughter for good measure.
His sons did not mingle with mediocre people.
Xxx symphony xxX
Hyuga Hiashi received a rather unpleasant message from Uchiha Fugaku about his daughter with a warning not to let her taint his son with her delinquency and a picture file that showed Hinata in a local setting and a punk get up.
To say Hiashi was humiliated and angry would be a very big understatement. Barely managing to reel his emotions in, he called for his nephew, Neji, whom he placed in charge of his daughters.
"You called sir?" The boy was before him with his head bowed respectfully.
Hiashi ensured his emotions didn't bleed into his voice as he asked his question. "Where is Hinata?"
"She is out for her practice sessions every Saturday, sir." Neji replied easily.
"Which practice sessions?"
The way his uncle's voice took on a cold undertone froze Neji in place. The teen just knew that one way or the other, Hiashi knew exactly which practice session she went for each Saturday. The question was repeated but harder this time.
"Which practice sessions?"
Neji didn't as much as act as afraid as he was on the inside. He knew that it was only a matter of time until Hiashi discovered that Hinata always snuck out and that he and Hanabi had been covering up for her with well coordinated lies. Well today is the D-day for them, it seems.
The boy didn't answer as saying anything at all would set the Hyuga head off. Neji didn't want him to hurt his sisters in any way so he was prepared to receive any punishment the man had in mind.
"I apologize for my irresponsibility sir. I would accept every punishment that you give me."
Hiashi's face darkened as he called on a servant and informed her to call Hanabi in and Hinata also when she arrived from the local dance gathering. Unfortunately Hinata was already back so they had no time to stall or come up with any excuse; they were doomed.
The three Hyuga children stood before their father with solemn heads bowed as the man raved about them being disappointments. Hinata's eyes were shut so tightly that the darkness under her eyelids were turning white at the scalding words that was directed her way.
"When would you stop being an embarrassment, Hinata?! Do you know how humiliated I was when I found this out?!" Hiashi was waving his tablet with a picture of her and the EsDee around madly. "Imagine somebody saying I should not allow you to corrupt their son- ha! You disgraced me, Hinata."
Hinata didn't cry, she just took the words in numbly, but the tears were carefully trapped under her eyelids.
"And you." Hiashi turned to Hanabi. "Are these the morals I taught you? Lying to cover up for your delinquent sister? I expected you to be better than her but you keep bringing yourself to her level. What a shame." Of course Hanabi was not going to take this sitting down, she was a lot bolder than her sister.
"Well maybe if you had let onee-san free to chose which art course she actually wanted to do she wouldn't have to sneak off to get away from you!" Hanabi retorted despite the pleading looks that Neji sent her way.
"Do not talk back at me young lady." Hiashi's voice was dangerously low as he focused back on Neji, the subject of his aggression. "I see you have been feeding them with rebellious thoughts." He accused.
"No he hasn't! You're just being an ass-"
"Hanabi." Neji cut his younger sisters off with a shake of his head. It wouldn't do to further aggravate their father.
"I can clearly see the root of the problem. Hanabi, I want you to surrender all your electronic devices to Ko immediately after you are dismissed. The same goes for Hinata and Neji." Hiashi gave his verdict.
"What?! You can't do this!"
"I am not done yet. From now on I do not want you in that...dance group, Hinata. Understand? You've done enough of disgracing me. I shall lengthen your private tutorship hours since I can clearly see that you have too much free time in your hands."
This was pure horror. First they were stripped off technology, and now they have to literally stick their noses inside books?!
"As for you Neji, since you have turned your sisters against me I would have to punish you duly." The man walked over to his sports rack and picked a golf club. Hanabi's eyes widened the size of saucers while Neji maintained his composure. "Open your eyes, Hinata." Hiashi commanded.
Hinata blinked her damp eyes open only to further widen them at the sight before her. "F-father!" The girl yelled.
Hiashi ignored her and told Neji to kneel. "If I remember clearly, I told you that if you did something wrong again you would not be punished for it. Your dear cousin would." The first strike landed on Neji's back without warning.
The boy grunted and almost toppled over but he remained on his knees, accepting the pain.
"Watch, both of you, the consequences of your foolishness." The next strike landed with a harsh thwack on Neji's back followed by another and another and another.
"Father no! Please stop it! I'm sorry, I would never do it again! Please stop! Stop!" Hinata begged, no longer caring for her tears as Hiashi continued to mercilessly beat Neji who only released pained groans here and there but was otherwise silent.
"Father stop it! Nii-san is innocent, stop it please!" Hanabi was also crying but Hiashi didn't allow the sisters to come closer to try to grab at the club. The way he waved to club menacingly made the threat clear. If they came closer not only Neji would be beat up.
After an eternity of painful beatings, Hiashi was finally done and dismissed all three of them. Neji tried to stand up but immediately fell onto the floor the moment he tried. Hinata and Hanabi rushed to his side to help him. Their faces were puffy with tears and absolute loathing for their father. How could he do this?!
The sisters took Neji to Hinata's room and opened his shirt to view his back. The sight was horrendous. "Neji nii-san!" Hinata gasped, tears falling off her eyes anew.
"I'm okay..." Neji said to assure them but his voice wasn't sounding very convincing. It was obvious that he was trying and failing so badly to hide the pain he felt.
"This is not okay!" Hanabi snapped at the same time Hinata opened her mouth. The older girl's lips trembled. She had always been the most prone person to tears among them but she could not help it.
"I'm sorry! It's my fault, I'm sorry!" Hinata sobbed. She made up her mind then that she was going to quit the EsDee and street dancing altogether. She could not afford her siblings to be hurt on her accord any longer.
Xxx symphony xxX
Have I done my best here or
Would I be here next year or
Are these my best years yet?
Was looking forward to being important but I'm not important yet.
If you put this scene on a movie screen
Is it called a helping hand?
If the world gets me where I'm supposed to be would I know I've made it then?
It's so hard
So can we skip to the good part?
Sasuke's leg thumped softly to the soft song playing through his earphones. The boy was skimming through and revising the lessons that were taught today at school but he was mostly distracted with the music playing in his head.
The song was one Gaara shared with him when he was still in the EsDee. It was uncanny how the lyrics described him perfectly.
If there's a good part then I hope it's not far 'cause I thought it'd be today?
I napped on campus and
I smoked that damn six bud
It didn't feel so great
If you put this scene on a movie screen
Is it called a helping hand?
If the world gets me where I'm supposed to be would I know I've made it then?
It's so hard
Can we skip to the good part?
The raven's onyx eyes glanced at the circled date on his calendar and sighed. He had circled the day for an entirely different purpose but he was forced to drop the initial reason he circled it. Now instead of the final dance battle, he was going to be dancing ballet for the interschool competition.
After the competition he had the piano competition he had been practicing so hard for. The boy sighed. He didn't think he would make it through the whole of the music piece. Speaking of competitions, Itachi was the accompanist for Neji and Haku's violin duet for their strings competition.
The boy closed his book, switched off the music player and went into his walk-in closet to change into loose clothing for ballet practice. He wore a dark purple loose fit cotton shirt on black leggings like usual.
Things had been going relatively easy for him these days. During the midterm exams he somehow by some miracle surpassed Itachi's average. It had been like a dream when he figured that he actually passed the Itachi standard placed for him by his father. For once he was not kneeling and watching his brother getting praised while he rotted away at a corner.
It felt...nice.
Sasuke knew not to let his success get into his head though. Passing the midterm exams well was just the tip of the iceberg for him but he was still happy that his father was finally acknowledging him.
Xxx symphony xxX
"Is the sky green, un?" Deidara questioned so spontaneously that even Tobi gave him a look.
"Deidara-senpai?" The Uchiha that had become the blond's best friend quirked a brow.
"Or is there a new species of turtles un that have feathers, yeah?"
"What's up with the fucking questions, blondie?!" Hidan shot back.
"Why am I the only one freaking out that Itachi is late to school un?!" Deidara finally said what was bothering him. They were in the time period where they would be doing general school certificate exams and working on getting their diplomas and working on college/university entrance examinations.
Itachi was a diligent student on top of being president of the student union. He was always the first to arrive and last to leave but today the ace student was nowhere to be found. To make matters worse, Sasuke was in school!
"Holy mother of all fuckers, you're right Blondie!" Hidan yelled.
"Hmm, this is strange. He didn't tell you anything, Kisame?" Nagato asked the blue skinned boy.
"No. I'm even surprised he did not inform you about anything." Kisame was just as stunned as the rest of the class at his best friend's absence. Was something wrong or did he finally hook up with that cafe girl and absconded from school?
If only Kisame knew that just the opposite was his friend's problem.
Meanwhile Itachi never reached school. He went ahead of Sasuke today like always but instead of going to school he just told the driver to drop him off and coerced the man into silence about his whereabouts. The teen's mind was on a spiral now so he needed time to himself.
Everything that happened within the span of the month was overwhelming for the teen. First it had been college applications and working hard to get an ace score that exceeded the country's past ace at general school certificate exams which so happened to be his teacher, Hatake Kakashi. Before him was Namikaze Minato.
His father wanted Itachi to beat the set record of the Fire Nation's geniuses so he had to work extra hard for it. On top of that he was applying for the Allied Shinobi University. That was the school of geniuses and the best university in all of the Five Great Nations. Even with his smarts, Itachi had not done too well in a mock exam set by his father so he had to put more effort.
Plus he had to handle the activities of being the president of the student union. It was never a position Itachi wanted to hold but he had to because it would help his admission into the ASU. He already had a promise with his musical skills so he just had to brush up on his academic profile.
That alone was a lot for the poor Uchiha prodigy to handle. Because of how busy his schedule became he had less time to do things for himself. Being with Sasuke was one of those things. When he was younger he used to spend a lot more time than he did now with his younger brother.
At first he always promised a later date whenever his brother asked to do something with him. It soon turned into apologizing and being unable to help. Very soon Sasuke learned not to come to him anymore. It had hurt but it was for the best. He had to focus on his father's goal for him.
His only escape from the cumbersome lifestyle he had adopted at such a young age was Izumi. She was always encouraging him and lifting some weight off his shoulders but his father had taken it away from him.
Breaking up his fresh relationship over text had hurt but actually seeing Izumi the following week and watching her cry had shattered him. Still it was all for the best. To protect her and Sasuke, he had to be the jerk.
One thing that would never leave Itachi's head was Sasuke's words to him the day he was forced to stop seeing his new friends.
"I hate you."
"Sa-suke?" Itachi's heart visibly shattered at the words his brother just uttered.
"I really hate you Itachi. I HATE YOU!" And he ran to his room, closing the door with a ground shaking slam.
Itachi wandered aimlessly through the streets of Konoha. His uniform blazer and tie were tucked in his bag pack leaving only his dark blue shirt on his torso. The teen stopped at a bridge and looked down into the water below.
On the outside he seemed normal but inside him he was suffocating. He didn't want all these. Didn't want to be an ace or the nation's best or the youngest person to have ever played in the Chunin grand orchestra, he never wanted it. But he could not go against it. If he did the people around him would hurt. The water below looked so cool and inviting.
What would it take to free himself from the pressure of being the best? Jumping? Maybe then Sasuke would have a less difficult time. Yes he would. Without him Sasuke would be acknowledged by their father. Itachi didn't need to purposely slack off so that Sasuke would pass, he could just die...!
Itachi came to with a sharp gasp and backed away from the bridge railings like he had been burned. He was just thinking about dying?! What?! His hands shook from the sheer intensity of it. He had just...
The raven realized that he had spent more time than he thought staring into the water when he checked the time. His phone's screen was littered with missed call notifications and texts from many people asking about his absence.
Itachi sighed and began to walk the direction of his house. He was in so much trouble now.
Xxx symphony xxX
"Look, it's Uchiha Sasuke!"
"He is here to play? That's nice. Is he going to be a skillful player like Uchiha Itachi?"
"I heard that Uchiha Itachi, his brother, played in the Chunin orchestra when he was just six years old! A stunning performance it was. Would his performance be as superb?"
"Uchiha Sasuke? As in the Uchiha in Uchiha Itachi?! I want to see his performance. If his brother was that good then he should be good too."
Sasuke ignored the whispers he got as he walked by with his father. The day for the piano competition had finally arrived. Sasuke felt honoured that his father accompanied him but was starting to feel otherwise as people instantly recognized who he was.
It was always about Itachi's wonderful piano playing skills. That was what everybody wanted to see; whether or not he was as good as his brother. They weren't going to watch him for his own talent and it made him angry. Still Sasuke swallowed the bitter pill and encouraged himself that he would exceed their expectations.
His father was expecting great things from him and he had to fulfil it. The boy was not listening to other player's performances as he was so indulged in his score sheet. It was going to be okay. He had the tonic solfas down in his head from the amount of practice he had been doing so he would be fine.
"Uchiha Sasuke, you're up in five minutes."
Sasuke bristled up at the announcement. Standing, he adjusted his tie which was suddenly so suffocating and patted down his tuxedo much to his father's displeasure. "Will you stop that?!" The Uchiha head snapped softly yet sternly. "Be confident and play like you own the stage. Make me proud."
"Yes sir." Sasuke exhaled. It was finally his turn. There was a hushed silence as the boy stepped on the stage and adjusted the piano bench to his liking before taking his seat. With a deep breath in and a long breath out, Sasuke started playing.
At first he stared so intently at the musical notes on the score sheet but then he realised that his leg was moving on the pedal as of he were coming up with a choreography. He could almost laugh at himself at the absurdity of it all. He was thinking about dancing while playing the piano.
Sasuke's fingers seemed to glide across the black and white keys as he drew the crowd along with his rendition. It was going good. He was doing so well. That was until the notes started picking and Sasuke began to panic.
How did the song go again? What key was he playing on?! What tempo should he use?! What was the next key?!
Sweat formed on the dark haired boy's temple and dribbled down his face to the keys he was now pounding on instead of playing softly. People began to murmur about the sudden change in the player's demeanor. What was he playing?!
Sasuke knew that his father was definitely not smiling right now and it almost caused him to start hyperventilating. No! Everything was going so perfectly. No! No! No!
"NO!" Sasuke's scream was in time with the off key he pounded on. The boy hunched over the piano as he tried to rein in his tears. He was doing good! Why did it have to turn out wrong?! Why?!
"What happened? He was doing so well before."
"I guess he was not as good as Itachi."
"Is he okay? Oh no."
"What's wrong with him? He just started pounding on the keys. Can he not play?"
Sasuke didn't have the energy to try to pretend that the words that were whispered about him didn't affect him. He just followed after his father like a puppet and didn't bother bracing himself for the outburst that was sure to come. It came the moment they both stepped into the mansion that he called his home.
"Do you care to explain to me why you chose to mess up your performance?!" Sasuke did not answer. "This piece is so simple. So simple that your brother could play it when he was half your age! Didn't I teach you well enough or did you just mess up to jest me?!"
"I tried my best father-" Sasuke was cut off.
"No, you tried your best to humiliate me." The next words Fugaku spoke was something Sasuke didn't comprehend as he was already bristling with frustration that was about to snap. It was always Itachi's achievements. Itachi's gold medals, Itachi's awards. Never once was it Sasuke's anything. It was almost as if he wasn't supposed to be born.
The string snapped.
"I'M SORRY I AM NOT ITACHI!" Sasuke yelled. "I'M SORRY THAT I DON'T LEARN AS FAST AS YOUR GENIUS PRODIGY! I'M SORRY FOR EXISTING! SORRY FOR NOT BEING THE FUCKING PERFECT SON YOU WANT ME TO BE!"
"You would not yell at me young man!" Fugaku was now enraged and raised a fist to strike Sasuke with when his mother suddenly appeared and caught his hand.
"Fugaku!" Mikoto yelled.
Sasuke let out a broken sob and stormed out of the lobby, leaving behind his parents to argue. Itachi was walking out of the kitchen into the living room unaware of what just happened when he saw his little brother crying. He had never seen Sasuke cry since the boy was eight so he was instantly worried.
"Sasuke!" He ran over to the boy never minding that the water in his tumbler was spilling. "Sasuke what happened to you-!"
"Just leave me alone!" Sasuke snapped as Itachi almost touched him. "Leave me the hell alone! I don't want you in my life! I wish you were not here for everyone to be comparing me to. I wish you were gone!"
The younger was not aware of the things he was doing to Itachi with his angry words.
"I-if I'm gone, would you be happy?" Itachi's voice was soft and broken.
"Joyous even!" Sasuke replied without thinking and ran away to his room.
Itachi was left to stare at the half empty cup of water in his hand. His parents were arguing from the voices he heard coming from the lobby and Sasuke was crying. It was all because of him. Everything was his fault.
Itachi went back into the kitchen and refilled his cup. Then he took a pill bottle and went to his room.
There is a lot more pressure on successful people than they let on. Whatever you're going through, Itachi's way out is not your way out. Suicide isn't an option or the end of everything. There is always someone who knows someone that knows someone that wants you alive and smiling.
Don't let depression get the best of you.
I like to think that Itachi was a very mentally stressed character in the series. Well he was. So I'm exploiting that fact here.
Song used in the chapter:The Good Part - AJR
See you in the next chapter!
-Star.