Chapter 21 - Too Much Too Soon

" what?"

She regretted saying that from the start, his face dropped immediately when the word left her tongue. But she hadn't expected a proposal, not in a long time anyway. They had been dating little over a year now, they were just about to move in with each other, it just all seemed to be happening so fast.

" well that wasn't the answer I was expecting, a yes hopefully, a no maybe, but not that" he withdrew his hand from hers, taking the box with the beautiful ring with him. A sudden urge of guilt hit her stomach, but she wasn't going to say yes just for the heck of it. This was her life, their life, she didn't want to rush something that could end them.

" Hiccup - I - I just wasn't expecting that, I don't know what you expect me to say, we haven't really talk about marriage, I'm 23, I've just left uni, like today, my head is spinning with what my grades could be or what path I'm gonna take or even what job to do. I'm in this uncertain point in my life and I don't want to say yes to something that I've not thought about." He nodded, but still held disappointment on his face.

" Hic, I'm not saying no," his face lit up, " but I'm not say yes either. A marriage only works if both parties are strong and ready for it, I'm a realist and I don't believe in fairy tales, but I know I love you, and I can't imagine a world without you in it either," she smiled, gaining a smile back from him across the table. Even if it was a sad smile, it was a smile no less.

" I think I just need time to think about it, I - I just don't want you to regret anything"

" regret anything?! Astrid I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't sure!" she nodded at his annoyed comment, he was angry, upset even, she expected him to be mad. " I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap," he grabbed her hand again, softly and sweet like before. " take all the time you need"

It was comments like that, that just made her love him more, but even though she loved him so much, that wasn't a reason to jump into a marriage after one year of being together.

He drove her home like the gentleman he is, kissed her sweetly before helping her into the car, he was everything a girl could want in a husband. But then rushing into something without thought just because a man could give you the world doesn't mean it could work harmoniously. Right?

He pulled up in the cafe car park that was under her building. They sat quietly for some moments not sure how they should say their goodbyes.

" I ruined a completely perfect and romantic proposal didn't I " he gave a half laugh as a response before speaking.

" no, I mean it would have been great if you'd have said yes then and there but, you having time to think means I get to do it again, make it better even." He must really love her to still want to marry her after that monstrosity of a dinner.

" you can't possibly get any better than tonight" she gathered her things on her lap ready to make a swift exit.

" oh you don't know how extravagant I can get Milady" he leaned over, she thought she would be kissed, but he pulled the door handle on her side.

" right, I'll err, I'll get going," disappointed she went to climb out, but a hand grabbed hers and pulled her back for one quick soft kiss.

" just so you know what you'll be missing" his whisper sent chills down her spine and he pulled away back in his seat.

" Hiccup, I know" and she climbed out swiftly, shutting the car door and walked back to her apartment block without drawing attention to herself.

Xx

Astrid unlocked her front door with a banging headache, she had a lot on her mind, a lot to think about. Was she making the right decision, but then jumping in and saying yes just didn't seem rational. Even when she wanted to.

Pushing the door open and walking in she felt completely drained, and too exhausted to be dealing with the sight in front of her. Snotlout Jorgensen in his boxer shorts and a bowl of cereal in his hands. " oh, err Ruff said you wouldn't be back tonight" he looked as awkward as she felt.

" yeh, change of plans" she shut the door behind her causing a bang which brought out Ruffnut who was prancing around in her underwear too.

" shit! What you doing here?" Ruffnut being herself didn't feel self conscious at all walking about in her lacy lingerie. " did something happen?" If her arriving home tonight didn't say it all, her face certainly did. " right okay, Snot why don't you go into my room, us girls need to have a quick chat" she shoved him to the side while she grabbed a black blanket from the sofa to cover herself up.

" seriously?" Snot still had his cereal in his hands.

" yes, just entertain yourself for 20 minutes, can't be that hard" she said the last bit under her breath as she guided Astrid to the sofa for their little girl talk.

When Snot had left them be Ruff waited no time to dig up the dirt on why her friend was back home and not fucking her billionaire boyfriend in the front seat of his car.

" he proposed" she said after rolling her eyes at the comment of the car.

" SHUT UP! My best friends getting married to a billionaire!" She squealed so loud only dogs could hear her now, as she jumped on the sofa unable to hold her excitement. Until Astrid's stare hit home, and the realisation that she came home and didn't go back to Hiccup's. " Fuck off, you said no? Astrid! You stupid stupid - grr - If the roles were reversed and I had said no to the fucking heir to Berk my grandmother would be coming back to haunt my stupid ass!" She should have known that would have been her answer, maybe she shouldn't have said anything.

" Ruff we have only been dating for little over than a year," she tried to make her point known but she should have known Ruff wasn't one for reason.

" So! He's Hiccup Fucking Haddock, the richest bachelor in Berk - in the Archipelago, maybe one of the richest men in the world, I don't know, all I know is you said no to being an heiress! Astrid! a fucking heiress!" She screamed again that she was sure the whole building could here.

" that's not the point Ruff! I don't want to just get married because Hiccup's the richest bachelor there is, I love Hiccup and I don't want to ruin it over jumping into something as big as marriage too soon" after her little outburst Ruff calmed down and sat calmly next to her stupid friend.

" alright hunny, I get it, okay I don't but for your sake I'm just going to say I do, but sometimes when you love someone so much you sometimes have to jump in feet first and take the chance cause you could regret something that could have been amazing" it was that she was worried that she made the wrong decision, she was too worried that it would be wrong to jump to fast into it, she hadn't thought about how good it could be. " I'll leave that with you to have a think, just please think about it Astrid, but not too long cause you could lose everything"

Astrid had a lot on her mind, too much to think about this exhausted. But Ruff was right she couldn't leave it too long, she'd make her decision tomorrow and just hope she's not too late.

Xx

The next morning Astrid rarely left her room, mainly cause she didn't want to walk out and a have a repeat of last night, but also cause she had a lot to think about. Like Ruff said she had the perfect man, the perfect life to come, and if she left it too long she could lose what would possibly be the best thing in her life, spending forever with the man she loves. Her heart said jump right in, take the plunge, her brain told her to be rational, think about it before jumping in.

Her dad would always say think with your head, your mind controls your whole body, the brain is the most busiest organ in your body, it makes everything function, without it we wouldn't be possible. So trust in it, it's never wrong. She guessed cause he was a trainer, boxer, self defender, his mind controlled his body, when he trained his brain told his legs to run, his arms to move. So his instinct totally relied on his mind to make his moves. And she had total respect in her father, he never let her down.

Her mother however told her to listen to her heart. Your heart is your soul, it's the beating organ of your body that keeps you going, your heart tells you to follow your feelings, instinct. Her mother was a photographer, her creative instinct was to follow her feelings to capture a moment. Her mother claimed that no artist or designer or creative being can survive without an open soul. To have an open soul is to have to rely on your heart, you have to rely on your inner self, fuck logics, and just take the leap.

So the big question is does she follow her mind, or her heart?

She lay in bed all day waiting for Snotlout to leave to think about it, flicking through photos on her phone of her and Hiccup, it was a year ago they started this secret, that's where it all began really. That day she woke up in Hiccup's arms for the first time, when they decided that their relationship would be kept a secret. Now a year on she had a promise to spend the rest of her life with this extraordinary man, and she was wasting it in here.

She had to talk to him, maybe talking to him would make her mind up, or make it worse. She got his phone number up on her phone, finger paused over the call button, till someone came crashing into her room uninvited. " come on bitch get up! Get dressed, we are going clubbing and I don't want none of this moody shit, I want fun!" She jumped over to her, dragging her out of bed with her two arms. " come on, we can think about marriage and babies and boring shit after tonight, tonight we are free students from ever having to do finals! Ever! So let's enjoy it" she'd been drinking for that Astrid was sure, Ruff always seemed to slur her words even if after one drink.

" fine, where are we going?" She put her phone down as a sign of not thinking about her problems, however she did see the time 5:47 she'd literally spent the entire day in bed, she hadn't even eaten properly yet.

" Lazers, so pick something - something bright and something funky cause we are going out to the illumination club, of all clubs !" She left her room with a prance, probably heading back to her room to choose her outfit.

Lazers was a huge club in the city near the docks, it was on the same road as the Black dragon just on the opposite side of the city. Lazers had three floors of rave rooms, one was well lasers coming out of every wall, the other was luminous paints being splashed everywhere when the beat dropped and the third was like this giant ball pit playground where the balls glowed. She'd been quite a few times, and every time she went it never disappoints.

She had two outfits that were classed as illuminating. Her mini yellow thin strap dress with a fitted in bra or her two set orange hot pants with half off the shoulder crop top. Her dress even though cute always rides up and causes unwanted attention. So hot pants and crop top it was.

To go with this festival looking outfit she went for her white converse and braided her hair in two Dutch plaits. Her make up was orange illuminating paint on her lips and eye lids to match her outfit, whether or not her decision on the engagement after tonight she'd have to think more about knuckling down and finding work than going out, okay maybe once a blue moon with Ruff.

However her mind wasn't really in a party mood, her head was just stuck on Hiccup. She missed him believe it or not, but she had to come home last night, for the best, she needed to think and Hiccup probably didn't want to spend the night with her after she basically put a pause on his proposal. But she couldn't help but stare at the screen on her phone where his number was staring at her.

She didn't know what he would say if she called, or what she would say for that matter, but then he'd kill her if she went out without telling him, something about how he just wanted to know she was safe and if she needed him, he'd be there.

So she pressed the call button, pressing her phone to her ear listening to the ringing impatiently. She was never one for patience, tapping her foot repeatedly, only yesterday she was wondering if he was happy to see her name pop up on his phone, would today be any different. Maybe he looked at her name and decided to ignore it. Or maybe …

" hello? Astrid?" He sounded out of breath, gasping for air.

" hey, Err you okay? You sound like your out of breath." He gave her a half laugh with a load of gasps in between.

" yeah after work I decided to go for a run in the woods, clear my mind." Her throat dried up when he said 'clear my mind', clear his mind about what? Her?

" oh right, I - Err - I " she stopped trying to think about what she was going to say, from being all calm and secure yesterday now she was like a dithering wreck shaking with nerves and not finding the words to say.

" is everything alright" he said noticing how weird she was acting.

" yeah I just, me and Ruff are heading out for this final night as students at Lazers and I just - I just wanted to tell you that's where I'll be tonight. So don't panic if I send you a very dangerous text later on tonight, I'll be very drunk" she heard his laugh on the other end, it was music to her ears, means he wasn't upset with her.

" I'll Err keep that in mind" again there was silence, and she was stuck whether to say good bye or try again to justify why she wanted to wait and think about it all but she was just stuck for words. " listen Astrid, no matter what happens - however long - no matter how much time you need to take, just know I love you, so much, and I just want you to go out tonight have fun but please stay safe cause I still need you" she felt tears starting to fill up in her eyes daring to fall.

" I will, thank you" she still didn't know what to do, brain equals logic, heart equals happiness.

" and if by any chance a very dangerous text is sent my way and it so happens to have a photo of what you are wearing then … I guess that wouldn't be so bad"she laughed at his teasing comment, brushing away the falling tears.

" I hope it will be worth the wait"

" you always are," her head skipped a beat when he whispered those words, closing her eyes and picturing as if he was stood right in front of her. " alright I'll leave you too it, have fun tonight - I love you" her heart ached.

" I love you too Hiccup, I -" before she could say anything else the phone hanged up. She made a mistake, and she needed to see him, speak to him. Her eyes darted to her car keys beside her bed, fuck the party, fuck it all, she'd only bump into Thug again, she didn't need that, she needed to speak to Hiccup, to just talk.

She grabbed her keys and went to her door, opening it up only to see Ruffnut on the other side, she was wearing her illuminating pink mini dress like Astrid's yellow one, however the pink dress didn't have straps, it was off the shoulder and the long arm sleeves were netted. Her hair was half up in a bun and half down curled.

" hey - look look great," she eyes her outfit with a smile, but then saw her car keys in her hand. " oh no, where the hell do you think you're going?" Hands on hips she stood her ground blocking Astrid in.

" come on Ruff I just need to speak to him, maybe talking to him is better than thinking on my own."

" na ah, you are not doing this today, tomorrow maybe, but tonight you need to relax have a few drinks and get drunk with your friends, okay. Marriage and life and shit can all wait tomorrow bitch, I want my friend today" Ruff took the car keys out of her hands, but it wasn't like Astrid had resisted. " okay" Astrid nodded with her friend as Ruff's smile grew.

" good, now on a lighter note, guess who's just come out on socials?" She leaned against the door frame, smirk plastered on her face.

Not that Astrid was in the mood for anything, but when she saw Ruff's smirk she knew exactly who, and a smile appeared on her face. " no!" Her friend nodded. " no way! He finally came out?"

" umm hmm" Ruff smugly nodded. " our little Fishy-legs has finally decided to come out gay, took his gods damn time" she says knowing Ruff as a list as long as her arm of boys in her lectures for him. Three years the two girls have been watching him fail to hook up with girls, just because the guys pushed him too. They had been waiting for the day he finally admitted to himself.

" I can't believe it, three years worth of waiting, I'm proud of him" she followed Ruff into the kitchen who was happily grabbing the vodka from the bottom left cupboard.

She started pouring the two of them some shots, handing Astrid an extra full one " yep, now I'm just waiting for Tuff to admit he's bi" Astrid coughed her vodka down at that statement.

" what? Seriously?"

Ruff looked at her as if she'd been living under a rock, " Astrid I'm his twin, I know him more than he knows himself, trust me on this"

Ruffnut never ceased to amaze her, and her twin tuition about her brothers sexuality was just on top of the pile. But for just a short moment she made her forget about going over to a Hiccups. Ruff was right, what she wanted to do today could wait for tomorrow, it's only a few hours, then in the morning she can drive to Hiccup's and just tell him what her instinct has been telling her all day.

Xx

Lazers opened at 22:30, but the group didn't arrive till 23:45, when mid night strikes that's when the really party begins, so you arrive just before so you can get a few drinks in while the queues are still small. Astrid keeping to her promise with Ruff put a smile on her face and just had fun with her friend, however seeing Thug with the guys just really put her off and Ruff couldn't blame her for that.

" alright I'll tell Tuff we've bumped into a friend and we'll just hang out on the second floor, okay!" She had to scream at the top of her voice so she could be heard with the loud music pumping.

She nodded, leaving the lads to their own devices, her and Ruff ran up stairs to just enjoy themselves without worrying about Thug. Him and Bear were acting weird anyway, whispering, acting all shady.

" I wouldn't worry about it too much Ast they are just creeps doing creepy things" Ruff shouted over the music as she danced around the dance floor. Floor two was the floor full of paints, the whole dance floor was bright and colourful. As you danced you could feel drops of paint hitting your skin, it may sound weird, Astrid thought it too, but when you're dancing and you're letting out all that energy the drops of paint cool you down even for a moment. This was why she had braids in, for this whole floor, when the paint covers you your hair gets messy, for example Ruff looked like a shaggy dog. Her curls were all ratty and her hair was full of paint, but she didn't care, she was dancing all over the place letting the rhythm take controlled her.

Astrid however, even though she was enjoying spending time with her friend, her mind was else where. It was like she was half here half not.

" Astrid! Girl that you!" Aya, her distinctive voice and eye popping luminous green tight playsuit was hard to miss. She came out of the crowds like some vampire, elegant, majestic, beautiful. Aya made everyone jealous how she held herself, even Astrid sometimes.

" hey, happy finals day!" She rushed over hugging her Marathon friend, like Ruff said, everyone from Berk university would be out tonight enjoying there last day.

" girl I've been waiting for this shit!" Finals was literally all they talked about in the changing rooms, sad thing was they were never gonna meet up again in that changing room, never gonna run together for the Uni's marathon society.

" yeah me too, hey I was thinking we should meet up at least once a week for a run, I'm going to miss spending time with you" and she was, Aya was that friend that even though she didn't know about her and Hiccup, Aya was just easy to talk too, she under stood her on a similar level, and she was just going to miss having conversations that weren't about her relationship, it was about just random things, but good random things.

" aww Astrid babe I'm going back to Cape Town in 3 days, I got a job in a museum, but that's only for like a year, I'll be back in a year September." She felt a pit in her stomach at the thought of not seeing Aya for a year, but she was happy for her friend going off into a new job.

" aww, well I'm happy for you, good luck" she gave her another hug, another friend gone in three days.

She got a tap on her shoulder to turn around and see Ruff still dancing about, " come on we came here to dance" she span around in like a million circles!

" crazy friend you have there Astrid, Crazy"

She danced the night away with Aya till she had to leave, and then she was left with watching Ruff make a complete fool of herself. Astrid however went back to feeling empty, her mind constantly on Hiccup. She found herself sat down in a booth drink in hand just thinking about it all, logic, happiness, soul, mind, heart, brain. All just going over and over making herself dizzy. Her heart just wanted to leap into his arms and say yes, but her brain … well that was now telling her she couldn't survive another day without being with him.

While she sat here the rest of the world went on and she was stuck without him, and that's all she needed, she knew she'd one day want to marry him, so why was she letting a stupid thing like logic take over her. Engagements if wanted could last years, but even then, she didn't want that, she wanted Hiccup, every day, every minute, he was her family, her everything. And she made a huge mistake.

" yo bitch? What are you doing all mopey?" Ruff came walking - well stumbling over to where Astrid sat, poking her face when she mentioned 'mopey'.

" Ruff I made a huge mistake" her friend sat next to her, looking at her up and down.

" yeah I would have gone for the yellow dress too" and then she took a sip of HER drink. Did she mention before that Ruff drunk was a bitchy drunk.

" no Ruff not about the dress, about my answer to Hiccup, I should have never waited, I should have said yes the moment he asked me, my heart told me I loved him and I wanted to say yes, but my head was trying to think logically, but now, there is no logic in me without Hiccup. There is no Astrid without Hiccup!" She screamed at the top of her lungs over the music but she didn't care cause no one could hear here anyway.

" wait-" a very drunk Ruffnut looked to at least take some of that in, her face all screwed up and concentrated, until she looked at her friend again and smiled. " MY BEST FRIENDS GETTING MARRIED!" She hugged her all sloppy and she smelt like vodka.

" Err Ruff I have to say yes first" she felt Ruff pull back, hands on her shoulders looking at her all serious and scary.

" they what the fuck are we doing here? Let's go" before Astrid knew it her roommate was dragging her out the booth and to the staircase.

" wait what? You're coming with me?" They came to a halt at the top of the stairs.

" Err yeah! My best friend is about to say yes to a fucking billionaire, you think I'm gonna miss that?" Again she was dragged being pulled down the stairs to the entrance and exit of the club, Astrid was coming to terms with how strong she actually was. " we'll get a taxi" out side of the club was the main gatherings, you had the smokers area, bouncers doing their thing, kids throwing up on the streets and finally taxis plodding about.

" TAXI!" Ruff screamed at the top of her lungs, she was too drunk to be doing this kind of shit, however it worked, a taxi looked to be stopping around the corner, and yet again Astrid felt she was being pulled along by Ruff.

As they came to this taxi Astrid got this sudden chill that she was being watched, and the next thing she knew this massive man hand covered her face making it hard to breath or see. An arm wrapped around her body aggressively and started to pull her backwards, her hand let go of Ruffs, but she could here her muffled squeaks too.

Before she knew it her and Ruff were thrown into the backseat of a car, both heads hitting each other on the way in.

" Fuck!" They both groaned, she heard two sets of seat belts clicking in, hers and Ruffs, before two car doors shut and the front ones opened.

Astrid's eyes were the first to focus as she sat up and was met with familiar faces. " Thug?! Bear?! What the fuck?" Her head was spinning and not from the head butt.

" we want 500 million transferred to the both of us by the end of the night?" Her eyes narrowed all confused, money? They wanted money?

" what? What the fuck Thug?" His eyes went more stern, more angry as that wasn't the answer he wanted.

" do you want me too say it again! 500 million, call up your little boyfriend and tell him to transfer that into our accounts, or I'm not gonna play nice" he'd completely lost his mind, she could tell in his face, he was too far gone for any of this.

" are you fucking crazy! Odin mother fucker, Thug! Seriously? You've completely lost it," she heard a groan from next to her, turning to see Ruff finally focusing in on what's going on, hand in head. " would you all stop fucking screaming, I have one mother fucking headache" she was no use in this state.

" seriously Thug? What was your plan? To scare us? Great fucking work psycho!" She pulled on the door hand, but it wouldn't move, when did he lock the door? When did he turn on the car engine. He'd been drinking she'd saw him, was he fucking out of his mind?

" let me out of the car Thug?" He didn't listen so she screamed it further, " let me out of the FUCKING CAR THUG!" He turned around to face the wheel and put it into gear. She started to panic, this was insane, she had to be dreaming.

" woah dude what you doing? You said you were just gonna scare them? Man stop driving!" Bear started to panic in the passenger seat, pulling his seat belt on while Thug started to to drive the car. This was obviously not part of their marvellous plan.

" you wanna see how far I can go Hofferson! I have nothing left to lose" he started driving on the main road, speeds up to 50 - 60 and Thug wasted no time to out his foot down. " I want that money Astrid! Or I'm gonna start leaking stories about you and the Haddock heir" by this point Bear had gone silent, gripping onto his seat, Thug however was in another world, and right now he only saw red.

" you're insane who's going to believe you?" She gripped onto her seat too, her stomach was going flips.

" well you're a student, blonde, put your picture next to that one of you fucking him in the hot tub and I'm sure people will start to realise" he wasn't for reasoning that's for sure, not when he was seething through his teeth.

" fine, do it see if I care, just stop the fucking car" she screamed.

" yeah man stop the car" she hear Bear whimper, this had gone way past money now for him. But Thug he wasn't for seeing reason!

" you owe me Astrid, and Haddock!" He pressed his foot down more, they were doing well over 50, she could feel it in her stomach, it was a bad feeling.

" I don't owe you shit! Now stop the car!" He went through a red light, she felt the breath leave her lungs, but they were fine, they were still driving.

" I lost everything to you and the Haddock's, my family name! The Haddock's took that! My grandfather, my dad, the Hofferson's and the Haddock's ruined them, left us with nothing!" Tears streamed through her eyes as she watched him go through yet another set of lights, but they still carried on driving.

Her mind would go to Hiccup, how he told her to be safe, how the last words they spoke she told him she loved him, but not that she wanted to marry him.

" Thug I have no idea what you are on about!" Her heart was beating so hard, she always did like to listen to her feelings, and she had a bad feeling right now.

" of course you don't, the files were erased!" Her heart that beats so fast skipped a beat, he knew about the files, he knew? What else did he know?

" you know about the files, how?"

" it was your families who erased them in the first place, your just as bad as we are, maybe even worse" her head spun, with the motion of the speed but also with the thoughts in her mind. Why would her family, Hiccup's family erase those files? What was in them?

" Thug, please, just please stop the car!" By this point he turned to look at her, foot still on the pedal.

" you wanna see how far I can take this?" With his eyes off the road the car started to divert into the opposite lane. " you own me Astrid, FOR EVERYTHING!" In a single moment Astrid's eyes went from looking at Thugs, who was so far gone, to the road ahead. In this moment while he was screaming at the top of his lungs the car was drifting into the other lane, but at top speed, her eyes were drawn to a pair of headlights coming their way. It was too late to move, to swerve even, but it was instinct to what left her lips in that last second before the two vehicles collided. And all she could hear was the sound of a horn beeping.

" THUG!"

It all just disappeared into nothing…