"Are you fucking insane?" screamed the recovering potions master.
Hermione stood petrified, shocked at the outburst. "I didn't know what it would do," she replied, although her voice was filled with uncertainty and regret, "I thought it was so he could fake his death temporarily, like a timed draught of living death. I don't even know where he got the recipe."
Getting up form his bed with a groan, Severus Snape roughly shoved past the protesting Madam Pomfrey and hobbled over to the bed containing one Harry James Potter. He didn't seem to notice or care the shocked silence at his loss of composure. "Idiot boy," he muttered repeatedly, interspersed with diagnostic charms and other, more obscure spells that didn't seem to do anything at all. "I assume you gave him a purging potion?" he asked the matron, who shook her head in reply.
"I thought he was merely tired," she replied, "so I let him sleep. It has been a long day after all."
"I'm surrounded by imbeciles it seems," Snape said as he wordlessly summoned a bezoar and a variety of potions directly from her stores. Arranging the vials on the bedside table, he conjured a mortar and pestle and shoved it into Hermione's shocked hands. "Is it too much to hope you know how to use one of those?" he asked. Ignoring her indignant huff, he put the bezoar in the bowl and sent her off with a brusque "As fine as you can manage."
"And now we wait for the clueless hero to wake up and pray we managed to do enough," Snape said almost an hour later, having mixed and administered a dizzying variety of potions and salves to the still-sleeping boy. Laying down on the bed next to Harry's with a pained groan, he finally gave in to sleep.
"Huh, that's interesting," commented Madam Pomfrey.
"What's interesting? Is Harry waking up?" Hermione asked, instantly back at the boy's bedside.
"Oh no, I have no idea what Mr. Potter did to himself and couldn't even guess what Headmaster Snape did," came the reply, "It's just that you often read about someone 'falling asleep as their head hit the pillow', but this is the first time I've actually seen it happen. Whatever all this is about, it better be serious or Severus will have words from me for being up and about with his injuries."
"It was a close thing, but Fred's going to make it," Ron said the next morning at breakfast. In the madness of the battle the previous day, shortly after the whirlwind that was Harry Potter had blown by, a stray curse from a Deatheater had cut the twin's legs out from under him in a very brutal fashion. Still dazed and more than a little out of it from the many potions as the healers saved his life, a now-legless Fred had informed his sobbing family that Harry had actually pushed him out of the way of a killing curse as he went past, blowing the caster of said curse into a pink mist as he went.
"You better marry that boy," he solemnly slurred at his sister, "I'm your older brother so you don't have a leg to stand on." Ginny managed to give a watery smile, while George repeated his new catchphrase of "Ear ear!" in agreement.
Ron and Hermione had barely started eating when a paper airplane hit Ron in the head. "Harry's awake," he said standing. Hermione followed close behind him as they rushed back to the hospital wing.
They came in the door just in time to catch the end of what was clearly a legendary Snape rant, "And while your father was a complete and utter waste of space, at least he didn't mess around with ancient suicide weapons! Do you ever think Potter?!"
"Hey guys," Harry greeted them weakly, causing the Potions Master to whirl around ready to start another lecture. "Leave them be professor," Harry said stopping him in his tracks. "They didn't know, Hermione probably only asked you because she was curious about the ingredients. And I did think it through, I got the book in S-Sirius' library ages ago after all."
"You knew? Then you figured out what your scar was I presume," Snape said, sitting back down on his bed with a tired sigh.
"Mostly, yes," Harry replied. "I didn't know Tom's curse would take out it instead of me, though, so I figured if I had to go out, I'd go out with a bang."
"Not that Fred and George wouldn't appreciate the sentiment," Ron interjected, "And we'll get back to that so I can pass you around the family for hugs and thanks later, but what exactly did you do Harry? When we heard that ultimatum you took some glowing white potion and suddenly you were Merlin himself."
"It's called the Angel's Trumpet," Snape said wearily. "Our minds carefully limit how much we can use our muscles, and magic in the case of wizards, because we're strong enough to literally rip ourselves apart. The potion releases that limit and blocks all physical senses such as pain, so you can move, fight, and cast to the utmost of human limits. Usually killing yourself in the process as your muscles break your bones and your magic burns your mind and nervous system to ash. That is also," he glared at Harry," why it has the second name of 'The Last Woe'."
Hermione had tears streaming down her face as she sat down in a chair, "And you asked me to get those ingredients without telling me? Without even saying goodbye as you left?! Harry how could you?!" Ron rubbed soothing circles on her back and simply nodded at Harry. "I get it," he said, "Like first year. You had to sacrifice the knight." Harry smiled at his friend in gratitude, knowing he'd understand.
A shrieking red blur suddenly flew at Harry from the direction of the door, only to turn into Ginny as she bounced off a double layer of shield charms. Next to Harry's bed, Ron and Snape grinned at each other, before realizing who the other was and looking away. "Mr Potter is not to be handled roughly just yet miss Weasley," Madam Pomfrey said as she walked up, "I trust you told him the repercussions of his… Stunt Headmaster?"
"I was getting to it," Snape replied. "Mr. Potter, that potion is permanent. You will never be able to use anything but the most basic of charms ever again. Unless the spell has a specific effect, you run the risk of overpowering it by accident and burning yourself to a cinder. I managed to repair the damage to your body, but you will need a regimen of potions every second day to keep yourself whole or else risk breaking or tearing something. As it is, all I could do was dooming you to a life as a housewizard. Or perhaps quidditch player."
Harry's eyes grew wide and a smile started growing on his face. "You mean, I won't-"
"That's right Harry," Snape said, surprising everyone at the familiarity, "No more fame to go to your head. No going out in public without glamours so you don't accidentally blow someone up for rushing to get your autograph, no becoming an auror and dooming us all to an early heart attack from stress. You are to stay home, be looked after, and possibly play quidditch if you can learn to control your body again. You are going to be, to the end of your days, 'just Harry'."
If Snape's using Harry's first name surprised people, Harry getting up and hugging the man shocked them to their core. "Potter!" Snape yelled, "Can't breathe!" Harry let go with a sheepish grin, before promptly collapsing to the floor as he lost his balance. "I literally just finished telling you," Snape said with a grimace, "The potion is permanent! You have no sense of your own strength. You literally can't feel how tight you hold things or how strong your movements are. You can't even hold your balance unless you're moving. The brain can do some things automatically, but you will have to learn everything else the slow way."
"I understand, sir. Sorry," Harry said as he was helped back into bed by Ron. He winced and mumbled another apology to Ron as he saw the bruise he left holding onto his friend's arm.
"Ginny!" Harry suddenly said with wide eyes, as though he just realized something.
"Yes?" She replied quietly from behind Hermione's chair.
"Do you think, after that is, I mean," Harry stumbled over his words as he turned several shades of red.
"What do you mean after?" the girl asked as she walked up to him with determination shining in her eyes. "I'm going to be right there learning how to manage your condition with you. Now don't touch me," She said as she stood in front of him with her hands on her hips, "or I'll hex you when they fix whatever you break by accident." So saying, she grabbed his face and kissed him thoroughly. It was a bit awkward, with harry tearing his mattress to keep his hands where they were, but he gave as good as he got. The loud whistling and cat-calling by the twins finally broke them apart.
"Fred, what happened?" Was the first thing Harry said when he turned to face the newly-arrived Weasleys.
"You saved my life, that's what!" came the reply, before Molly rushed in and enveloped him in a sobbing hug, thanking him repeatedly.
"Mom, lay off," Ron finally said. "Harry can't do hugs now, if he gives you one back he could break your spine. I'll explain it all later."
"Now what happened to Fred's legs?" Harry asked again.
"After you saved me from that killing curse, I sorta got hit with a bad cutting curse. The healers can't put them back they say, dark magic and all. They offered to get me magical pegs, like Mad-Eye had, but George and I figure we can make a cool floating chair instead."
"So then I pushed," Harry started to say, before being interrupted by Arthur.
"No Harry, it was a fight. You saved his life, getting cursed is simply Fred's fault for not dodging."
"Besides," Percy said over Fred's mock-affronted 'oi', "I'll be helping out at the store now so he won't have to worry too much."
"You mean?" George asked, to which Percy smiled.
"Yes, I'm quitting the ministry and running the shop with you. Goodness knows you probably need someone to help with the bookkeeping. Maybe call up that cousin of mum's too."
"Oh Perce!" Fred began, but was interrupted by a grinning Percy.
"No, no buts. I'm your older brother, so you don't have a leg to stand on." This sparked a round of laughter form most present, although Molly tried to admonish her son for his inappropriate comment and hug him at the same time.
A few days later, Harry finally managed to find the headmaster. "Professor," Harry called out to Snape as he was once again billowing down a hallway as he was wont to do. With an exasperated sigh, he turned around and faced the boy, man now, hobbling up on crutches charmed to stay upright when still.
"What is it, Potter? While some might think I was nothing more than a figurehead for Riddle, I do actually run this school you know."
"I know, sir, and I just wanted to say thank you." Harry replied with a weak smile. "You disappeared when the Weasleys showed up in the infirmary so I never got the chance to say it, but thanks. You've given me literally everything I ever wanted."
"Yes, well," Snape seemed at a loss for words for the first time in his life. "Albus did a great many things wrong with you Potter. While you may not have the swollen head I often accuse you of, it seems clear you went too far the other way. You are the werewolf spawn's Godfather, are you not?" The question took Harry by surprise.
"If you mean Teddy, then yes. Why?"
"His grandmother is a healer, as you well know, of some skill. She also has a degree in the Muggle world. Go visit her for a talk. I'll owl her to know what to expect."
Confused, Harry thanked the headmaster and was about to turn away when something suddenly occurred to him. "Sir, do you know what happened to them? Tonks and Remus I mean."
"They are recuperating at the hospital," Snape replied with a sneer, "They tried to take on Bellatrix Lestrange and got attacked by Greyback for their troubles. The werewolf got the worst of it, but Bellatrix did get her shots in before the Weasley Matriarch took her out when she turned on the youngest of the brood. Is there anything else, or may I leave now?" Harry was starting to realise that sarcasm was simply the way the professor spoke, an smiled back before thanking him and dashing off to send a letter.
A pop surprised Harry and he instantly tried to get to his feet with the knife Sirius had given him ready to defend himself. Overcompensating, he instead flung himself face first into Ron's bed instead, causing Ginny to burst out laughing. "Ginny? What are you doing here?" Harry asked as he righted himself and got back onto his bed.
"Kreacher got me," She replied as she sat down at the foot of the bed. "Didn't say anything either, the creep, he just shoved this mug of cocoa into my hand and popped me here. What's with the knife?"
Taking the drink she was holding out to him and setting it on his bedside table next to his knife, Harry sighed. "They took my wand so I can't accidentally hurt myself. The knife was a gift from Sirius, it can cut almost anything and picks locks too. Figured I'd need to protect myself until they got the last of the death eaters, you know?"
Ginny nodded and merely sat back against the post of the bed behind her, looking at him. "So, er, why do you think Kreacher brought you?" Harry tried asking, "It can't be to find some way of 'not' serving his rotten half-blood master can it?"
"Don't bother trying Harry," Ginny replied, "I can see your eyes. What's wrong?"
Harry flopped onto his back and sighed. "I tried to send a letter earlier. For some reason I forgot and just went to the owlery to ask Hedwig."
Ginny moved over to lie next to him and held his hand as he mourned his friend in silence. "You should talk to Andy," She said much later, when they were merely enjoying the silence together and staring at the canopy of his bed. "Andromeda Tonks, I mean," She continued, "She's a healer and she helped me lots over the summer after my first year."
He chuckled, "You're the second person to tell me that today, actually." Harry chuckled. "Guess if both Snape and a Weasley say something I have no choice."
"He actually wasn't bad, you know?" She said. "When he was headmaster I mean. He stopped or re-assigned the worst of the punishments, and when kids were trying to get to us in the room the patrols never seemed to find us."
"Figured it was something like that," Harry said. "He always was on our side, even if I used to think he's a git."
"Oh he's definitely a git," she replied to both of their amusement.
"Come on, let's go find some dinner," Harry finally said as he slowly got back up and took his crutches.
"Sounds good, I'm starving!" Ginny said with a nod. When they were both upright, she stopped him and slowly kissed him on the lips before hugging him and saying "Work hard, and you can hug me back soon. Now let's go eat!"
"Why is everyone staring at us?" young Bill Potter asked his parents. It was his first trip to Hogwarts and the family was getting looks on the platform as they came through the barrier.
"It's your auntie Tonks," came a voice from the side. A limping and heavily scarred Remus Lupin walked up, his wife frowning at the people with hair flashing shades of red, "She's incredibly attractive and they can't help it." The woman gave him a slap against the head without looking, though her hair did turn a purplish pink.
"But they look scared. Why are they scared of auntie Tonks?" the boy asked.
"That would be because one of your uncles, and I won't say who because he can't run away from her, told some people what auntie Tonks' real name is," added Ron from the other side to chuckles from the older members of the assembly and narrowed eyes from Tonks, who seemed to have decided that they won't be attacked on the platform for the moment. "See, she's a bit like Rumplestiltskin, only if you say her name it's you she jumps on rather than just stomping the floor."
"But I thought auntie Tox was auntie Tox, how come she has a secret name?" asked Lily Weasley from behind Hermione's legs, "Can I have a secret name?" With a shout Ron and Remus were both suddenly hanging upside down by their ankles.
"I think Auntie Tonks would like everyone to forget they ever heard the name Nymphadora-eep!" Harry Potter, laughing wildly, was nimbly dodging a ridiculously fast stream of schoolyard jinxes from a scowling Tonks.
"There are people around us!" Yelled an irritated Hermione at the same time as Ginny showed her Prewitt heritage with an ear splitting "How many times do I have to tell you not to start things in public!?"
A sudden flurry of spells came from the side and left everyone involved either groaning on the ground or glaring at the interloper for disarming her. Harry was still laughing of course, even as Ginny was furiously whispering to him that he hadn't heard the last of this.
"Why is it that whenever there's trouble it's always you three?" asked a greying Snape with his trademark sneer. Everyone gawked at him, however, as he'd done a surprisingly accurate impression of Professor McGonnagal's voice. "Go on, onto the train with you lot! If I have to deal with more Potters and Weasleys this year I might as well get it started sooner rather than later." With the children scrambling to get aboard as the whistle sounded, Snape waited till the train was out of sight before turning back to the assembled families.
"Just because you are some scary auror, mute notwithstanding, does not mean I cannot still wipe the floor with you," he told Tonks, sneer firmly in place as he handed her her wand. "You two are still banned from the premises for your stunt with the willow," He told Lupin and Ron and ignored their protests and explanations of 'there were cushioning charms!' before turning to Harry and finishing with "And you are still not allowed to name your children. Albus Severus indeed." With a final 'do try to keep them under control' to Ginny and Hermione he disapparated without a sound, no doubt to spend his last bit of quiet for the year in the Hog's Head before the train arrived.