CHAPTER ONE
KURT'S POV
I looked over and seen his cologne. God... I love that scent. Not because it smelt so good but because it smelt like HIM. No matter how many times I tried to throw it away I couldn't. I couldn't bare the thought that the only thing I had left of him was gone. I thought about last night and how I tossed and turned my head on the pillow, trying to tell myself that I was strong because I've gone one more day and night without him. He was the reason for my smile, yet I didn't think for one moment that i would be the reason for mine and his tears too. I walked over to my dresser and stretched my arm out and reach for it, but my arm snapped back like it was burnt on an open flame. I signed and closed my eyes as the tears tried to flow. Why was this so hard? Why was the thought of him burning through my mind like a hot summer's day? His cologne was empty, yet I could still smell it. Was this the worlds way of telling me that he'll always be there? Lingering in the back of my mind just as much as the ghost like scent still lingers in my nose? He gave me feelings I can't put into words and only him could give me them feelings. He gave me the kind of feelings you would read in romance novels you know? I don't know where I stand with him and I don't know what I mean to him now. All I know is every time I think of him, all I wanna do is be with him. I place my hands on the dresser and inhaled. Suddenly I felt dizzy for a second and I sat back down. I remembered the day like it was yesterday. I know why I did it. I just couldn't tell him. I wish I could, but it was better this way.
I hated myself for what I did.
FUCK.
BLAINES POV
I felt them all staring at me. Waiting for me to break like porcelain. Porcelain?
Fuck. His skin was like Porcelain.
I felt sick to my stomach. Even after a year it felt like yesterday since me and Kurt broke up. I told myself not to fall in love with the blue-eyed boy. All my friends did too. Not because they didn't like Kurt but because they didn't want him involved in all this mess. They love him just as much as I do. When we broke up, I knew I would go to find condolence by the ocean but instead I found myself looking back at the colours that I used to get lost in and wondering perhaps there's a reason that the deadly waves are exact colour of his eyes.
He cheated on me
The love of my life cheated on me. I could never understand why? I gave him everything and wanted nothing in return but his love. But still I loved him, love him. He was perfect. In every possible way. I use to wake up at 2am sometimes and look at him. His vague outline of his beautiful body against the darkness of our room, feeling his warm breath blowing against my skin. I would do anything to fall asleep wrapped up in him. I knew I forgave Kurt as soon as he left Dalton, I just can't forget what he did. What I seen. Him and Sebastian. Naked, fucking in OUR bed. My head was spinning, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I could hear my name being called and a comforting hand on my shoulder and vaguely seeing someone crouch Infront of me. Jeff? Nick? Wes? David? Fuck I didn't know. I felt blinded by the pain. I stood up and felt my self-swaying.
"B? Please say something."
It was Nick. Nick had been my comfort blanket when Kurt left. All the guys were great but Nicky? He understood what I was going through. He had been there through everything, the grief, the heartache and the anger. I swore Nick put up with more shit from my relationship than he did with his and Jeffs. I opened my mouth, but my words wouldn't come out. I could feel the tears prick my eyes and I took a deep breath in. I couldn't handle it. I needed air. I made my way to the double doors of the lounge where we were sitting and started running, I didn't look back, but I heard them calling after me, I ran through the hallways and then through the gardens until I felt the cold air hit my face. I felt a wave of nausea and I could feel the sickness rising up towards my throat. I leaned over and heaved and emptied my stomach content on the grass.
"Oh B... I wish I could take this pain away from you."
I looked up and seen Nick staring at me with tears in his eyes. He slowly walked towards me and wrapped his arms around me, and I let it all go. I started to cry. I felt my body shaking. He kissed my head and ran a comforting arm down my back. He always knew how to make me feel better.
"WHY ME? Why me Nick? I just... I just don't understand. Why could he do this to me?" I sobbed. Nick cupped my cheek with his hand and replied softly "I don't know why; all I know is that he's a fool. He's fluent in lies, excuses and bullshit B and I would do anything to know how he could do this to you, do this to US. We all loved him B, especially Jeff. I could just kill him for the state he left Jeff in."
Nick looked hurt. Kurt and Jeff were truly inseparable since the day Kurt first walked into Dalton. They were best of friends just like Nick was to me. I guess that's why the four of us got along so well. Kurt didn't just break me; he broke all of Dalton boys.
I felt like we were standing there forever. Nick finally pulled back and held his hand out for me. We started to walk back into the school grounds silently, passers by had greeted us but my mind was still spinning so I just smiled weakly and nodded.
I hated him for what he did to me, but I just couldn't stop loving him.
FUCK.