Chapter 27 - What's One More Secret?
Authors note: Had a few questions whether or not this will be the chapter to answer everything, this story will be left on a slight cliffhanger. For the sequel I'm thinking a 3 year jump where you'll see how Hiccup and Astrid have grown, but then there are some missing loose ends from this story that will get tied up in the sequel. And at then end of this chapter I will give a quick overview of both the sequel: Secret Family Mysteries and the dabble of shots: Secrets. Secrets will be the time period between this story and the next, this way you can see this universe grow and see normal Haddock dramas. That's all for now, I'm still working on the names.
(25th August 2021)
Astrid had a secret of her own, one she knew she couldn't keep.
Graduation as been on Astrid's mind since she came out of hospital, no doubt the crash had been the top topic in the whole of the university, and now graduation was coming up. There had been a private email to all third year's that there will be a ceremony and minute of silence for Bear and Thug. The thought made Astrid sick with guilt.
As planned the girls spent the night at the apartment before the day of graduation, Ruff was still pissed she had to wear her boot, but she was finding it easier to get around now on her crutches. It was Ruffnut's idea to do a girls night, originally they were supposed to go out, get drunk, have fun, but since they were both still on pain medication it was sparkling soda and ordered in pizza with a movie marathon of legally blonde. (Ruffnut's favourite movie)
Astrid didn't really argue with her plans, she wasn't really feeling herself, she didn't know if it was her guilt but she felt awful.
But then it dawned on her when she first came back yesterday on the 24th. She had come in, Ruff was being dropped off by Snotlout and Hiccup had dropped her off a bit early, she had contemplated driving but she couldn't bring herself to do it yet. She had came in, not needing to bring much as she had some clothes and things left behind. Her cap and gown were going to be picked up next morning so she was just pulling out her dress and heels she had planned to wear, until she felt an overwhelming feeling in her stomach and sprinted to her bathroom before she threw up her breakfast all over her bedroom floor. She luckily made it to the toilet and found herself looking in her cabinets for some stomach pills when she came across it. The object that made her rethink everything.
Tampons.
She can't remember the last time she had her period, she was too consumed with the crash and graduation and moving in and … surly she had one, surly she would remember, but she couldn't, for the life of her she couldn't remember. She'd been sick for weeks, but she put that down to trauma, stress and her meds. But then what if it was …
That day she found herself running to the drug store, avoiding eye contact with the cashier as she bought a clearblue pregnancy test. She couldn't believe it herself, she couldn't be pregnant, she was on the pill, Hiccup – sometimes wore a condom, but still she was on the pill, and she rarely forgot to take them, so she couldn't be. But she knew she wouldn't settle till she found out for sure.
When she got back it took a whole 20 minutes of staring at the shitty plastic bag they had gave her before she finally worked up the courage to go up to the bag and pull the box out.
And then the front door opened, and Ruff's voice filled the apartment. " Bitch I'm Back !" The box and bag was immediately thrown into her side draw and for a second she forgot about the past hour of worrying and went to greet her friend.
" Ruff! I've missed you!" Sure it had been over a week since she last saw Ruffnut but when you have lived with someone so long, it felt weird not waking up and she's not there.
" I know, I'm irreplaceable" she too walked in with a dress like she had, and that's when her mind went back to the box that was stuffed in the top draw.
It was all she could think about the whole time, when they ordered a pizza and got Tuff to bring over a bottle of Buck's Fizz as a little celebration. She didn't drink her glass, she couldn't, every time she went to her mind went to that box. Unopened, haunting her. She couldn't stomach the pizza, even the smell made her want to vomit, she kept telling herself it's the nerves, but what if it wasn't?
When Ruff asked she just said she felt nervous about tomorrow, the thought of having to watch that tribute, having to smile and say the two will be missed, when really she wanted to punch everyone in the face who asked if she was okay. She couldn't do it anymore, she excused herself, saying it was an early morning for them, but in reality she spent another hour looking at that draw, knowing she had no choice. It was the longest 3 minutes of her life, she felt as her whole life flashed before her eyes within those 3 minutes.
What would she do? How would she tell Hiccup? Would this mean the end of her life as she knew it? She wasn't stupid, sure a baby was a lovely thing, but at the right time, she knew babies broke people. Would it break them?
Her phone alarm went off, and her heart skipped a beat.
Xx
For once Ruff was out before Astrid, that was never the case in the past three years she had know her. It got Ruff a little worried, though she knew Astrid was probably living the dream at the cove mansion, being waited on hand and foot. She'd managed to put her pissing dress on without having to ask Astrid for help, and she had to wear a flat pump on the foot that wasn't covered with a giant boot. It was 8:34 in the morning, the ceremony started at half 10 so they would be needing to leave within the hour to head to the cathedral.
Ruff was tempted to knock on, check if she was awake, or alive? She knew Astrid's feelings on today, but she also knew she'd kick her best friends arse with her boot if she had too if she pulled a stunt like not going. This was their graduation!
This was an end to an era a … the door to Astrid's bedroom opened, and out walked a fully made up Astrid, in a cream dress with matching heels ( lucky bitch ) and her hair braided in a single plait down her back. Though she had done her make up she looked dreadful, like a walking zombie, her eyes were deep into space, and the colour just seemed to be draining from her by the second.
" oh honey, are you seriously that nervous?" Astrid didn't even speak, she just looked at Ruff, " look Ast, we have to do this, show that we don't feel guilty, they didn't deserve to die they way they did, but we are not to blame, honestly sweetie we just need to-"
" I'm pregnant" she said it before her mind could even register she had said it, but then Ruffnut suddenly shutting up and mouth wide open only clarified she did actually say it.
" I – I – what?" For once Astrid had rendered Ruff utterly speechless. The girl was in shock, she had expected her friend to back out of graduation, tell her she isn't going to go to the tribute, tell her she didn't fucking care anymore, but that – that was new.
" I'm pregnant," in her small clutch bag Astrid pulled out the pregnancy test, the lid now firmly back on it.
Ruffnut literally jumped back, " woah! You're fucking serious?" She went to grab it but took a pause, " is that -?"
" it's clean"
And she then proceeded to take the test off her. The results couldn't be more clearer: Pregnant 3+
" holy shit" she whispered, she best friend was pregnant, this was not exactly what she expected her last night in the flat to be like.
" I don't know what to do Ruff," Ruff had seen Astrid cry, it was rare but she had seen it, but this was different, she looked more lost that anything. She couldn't help but wrap her arms around her and lay all her weight on her right leg.
" don't worry, you'll be fine, does Hiccup know?" When they pulled apart Ruff could see the panic in her friends eyes. No Hiccup didn't know.
" I don't know how I'm going to tell him, I don't know what he'll do? We haven't had this planned – what if he hates me?" She was spiralling out of control when her mind came to thinking of a baby, an actual baby, someone she would soon have to look after, who would rely on her for everything. And then telling Hiccup? How would that conversation even start?
" okay, let's just take a breather" Ruff Balancing on her crutches guiding Astrid to the sofa, it was a conversation that needed to be had sat down. " honey I don't know how you've got it in your head that he'd hate you, I may not know Hiccup well but I do know he loves you, I've never seen love like it." Astrid knew this, she knew Hiccups loved her of course, but a baby? That was different, it could break them apart completely.
" you don't understand, you remember how I mentioned Hiccup's ex?" She'd mentioned Cami once to Ruff, after the whole spring festival shenanigans. But obviously keeping Hiccups privacy she hadn't mentioned why Cami was so psychotic.
" psycho bitch?"
" yeah, I never told you why they broke up" She went to continue but Ruff being Ruff butted in.
" Err yeah you did, said she got power crazy with the idea of being a Haddock" right, yes she did mention something along those lines.
" yeah, that's what happened first, and when Hiccup broke up with her – she … she told him she was pregnant" Ruffnut's eyes widened and the realisation of why Astrid was so worried in the first place. But obviously right now the questions in Ruffnut's mind was where was this baby? Was it aborted? Did she miscarry? Did the baby die? Your mind does seem to play tricks when you don't know what's happening next.
" okay?"
" Hiccup said even though he wasn't thrilled about being a parent at 23 he learned to love the idea, he was excited, and then she started acting crazy again, saying if he left her she'd hurt herself to hurt the baby, as weeks past they realised she was wasn't pregnant nor ever was"
" oh shit she faked the entire thing?" Sure some could say that you'd feel sorry for Cami, clearly she was in need of help, but what she did to Hiccup, to his head, she messed him up too, and he's never really trusted again, until her! And now she was doing the same thing.
" look Ast I know where your mind is going with this, you are not Cami, you are not faking a pregnancy." Even though Ruff had a point there, Astrid still couldn't see herself as anything different.
" you don't get it, what if Hiccup doesn't want kids? What if after what happened with Cami he doesn't want to have a baby?" She knew all too well how he handled it last time, locked himself away for months, barely speaking to anyone for years.
" wait? You've not had this conversation yet?" Ruff asked all confused.
" no? Why have you and Snot?" As far as Astrid was concerned it wasn't a conversation she'd be having for at least a few years.
" no! But me and Snotlout aren't engaged to be married" she then realised herself how ridiculous she must sound. They were engaged to be married, and the conversation of children never really got brought up, only when Hiccup's mother was involved. Ruff was right, they were engaged and they hadn't even thought about the future like kids. What would happen down the line if they both disagreed? What would happen then? What would happen now? This pregnancy was so unexpected, how would they even deal with this together?
" look hun, I don't know the first thing about babies or even your relationship with Hiccup, what I do know is that you're carrying his baby, and you need to make future decisions together. You need to tell him and soon, cause you're going to spiral downwards if you don't." Astrid looked at the clock, it had just gone 9 am, they would need to be at the cathedral soon, and Hiccup was going to be there, shaking hands with everyone who graduated. She'd have to tell him today!
" look no matter what, even if the dumb ass leaves you, which I don't think he'd even consider, but if for some reason he did, I will be there for whatever you need" she smiled, lunging forward grateful to have the bestest friend in the whole of the Archipelago – no the whole world.
" thank you"
" come on, we got this graduation to get over with"
She grabbed her purse, putting back the test inside. She'd need to use it to explain everything, how the hell she was going to do that she didn't know but one way or another she was tell her secret to Hiccup, for he had a right to know.
Xx
Hiccup had a secret of his own, one he knew he couldn't keep.
The results came this morning by post, he promised Astrid he'd take the gene test to see if he carried the dementia gene like his dad and grandad. At first he just wanted to tell his mother what she wanted to hear, but now Astrid was in the mix, and she'd be his wife soon enough. He owed it to her to find out.
He'd never been good though with opening important letters, when he got into Berk university it took both his parents to threaten to open his letter before he actually did, in fact he had no choice, it was Gobber who opened up the letter after getting frustrated by Hiccups's messing about behaviour.
This time though he needed no push, he walked over to the island table where his letter had been placed unopened waiting for him and ripped the seal open. He had to do this, he had to know, for his future, for her future, for their future.
He held his breath within the second he opened the three folded papers, the words NEGATIVE stood out big a bold. He released the gasp of air in an instant, along with the stress and anxiety he'd been carrying with him. He was negative!
He had to tell Astrid!
He looked down at his phone, his wallpaper on his lock screen was a picture of him and Astrid at the log cabin, they were in the hot tub, and he begged her for a selfie. She wasn't one for selfies, but she caved to his constant begging, he cherished any picture he had with her, had them all over the house, on his phone, even had two on his desk that he had to lock away in his top draw every night. He snapped out of his gaze over the picture and looked at the time – 8:54 am – he was supposed to be heading to cathedral of Berk too meet up with the Head of Berk University and some Deans, he was the billionaire of Berk, a Haddock and he made a massive contribution to the university. He was expected this year to shake the hands of the graduates as he had decided to come out of hiding over a year ago. Before that he was just a silent ambassador, never really met people on the board, so when he suddenly popped up at the beginning of this academic year in September, you can imagine the joy the University had when he started to give all this money out at random. Little did they know it was because the University had a very special student, he was suddenly interested in.
This was something he wanted to tell Astrid first, but he wanted it to be in person, where he could hug her and kiss her and tell her he finally felt like he had a future now.
He was going to send her a text but then reconsidered when he remembered the tribute that would come up in the graduation ceremony today, and how Astrid wasn't exactly looking forward to it.
He turned the phone off and slipped it into his suit jacket inside pocket. Toothless had been sitting patiently next to him, not a care in the world, wagging his tail faster the second Hiccup looked down at him. " Hey buddy" he came down, stroking the dog over and over again behind the ears. " did you hear, I'm negative, I'm not going to get ill or sick, I'm gonna be just fine" His mind instantly went to his dad, he remembered the day his dad got the letter saying he had tested positive, it was the first time he saw his dad cry, right into his mother's arms, he didn't want to become like his father, he didn't want to forget his wife or his son or future grandchildren as he kept saying. But that only happened for a day, the next morning he was fine, back to his normal self, when asked about it he said it might not happen for years or it might happen tomorrow, but he was going to live his life like normal, and when it did happen then and only then would he deal with it.
" Mr Haddock?" He hadn't noticed but Luna had walked into the kitchen, probably cutting through the kitchen to get to the downstairs access to the wash room, she had a pile of laundry in a basket in her arms.
" sorry Luna," he stood quickly, " did you – err – did you want something?" he rubbed his neck nervously, he'd not really told anyone about this test, he didn't even tell Astrid he was getting it.
" no sir, are you okay?" he knew Luna wasn't stupid, it was her job to know everything that was going on, but the beauty of Luna, she also knew when to keep herself out of his business and respect his privacy.
" you know what Luna, I'm actually doing great" his smile was so genuine and proud.
" I'm glad," she smiled back, " I best be getting on, and so should you, don't want to be late, wish miss Astrid all my best, and have a great graduation" Luna had loved Astrid's presence in the house since she had moved in permanently, and she too had seen how nervous the young girl was about this graduation.
" thanks, I'll tell her" he grabbed his keys from the side, patting his loyal friend on the head before heading to the door.
Xx
The taxi pulled up outside the cathedral not long after 9:30am, they lived about 15-20 minutes away from the cathedral to walk, but with Ruff's leg she wasn't walking that kind of distance. So, they called a taxi, it was more hassle than it was worth, the taxi took forever, then took them on a detour thinking they weren't locals. In the end they finally got there, the rest of the 3rd years where already piling up outside waiting to collect their caps and gowns. Tuffnut and Fishlegs stood out like a sore thumb, mainly because it's hard to miss a guy like Fishlegs, and it also didn't help the fact that the caps and gowns are burgundy red.
Tuff noticed them first as they got out the cab, mainly because they were taking forever due to Ruff and her giant boot, though it wasn't like the boys came rushing to her aid, they waited till the two were out of the car before going up to them.
" yeah thanks dickheads," Ruff spoke holding no filters. " you could have at least helped your sister and her injured friend" she slapped Tuffnut in the head as any other sister would to her stupid brother.
Astrid gave a little nod to Fishlegs while the two siblings argued like cat and dog, she was not looking forward for today, her eyes scanned the crowds, the side glances and obvious stares did not go unmissed by her, Ruff however was hard faced and just owned it, Astrid just wanted to hide in a hole. No! She was a Hofferson, she was going to do this.
" right! Come on bitch! Let's get those caps and gowns." Ruff yelled, she was still the same old Ruff.
Berk's university wasn't huge, it was quiet a small university located in six large buildings, and one of them was the library, but the cathedral was like twice the size of many of those buildings and held the large group of graduates with ease, along with guests too. The guests are usually located on the top tier of this cathedral, that's where Tuff and Ruff's parents would be and Fishlegs' too. Apparently, Thug's mother and Bear's parents were going to show up, but Astrid wasn't for sure. She looked up at the large, grand building, she loved this building, it was one of the places in Berk she found so beautiful, she captured some great photos in her second year of this building. The monolithic Cathedral was built in 1604, it was a project by one of Hiccup's ancestors – Hamish the something, she couldn't remember, the name Hamish was used as much as the name Hiccup in the Haddock family line, Gods help her with this baby and what names she'll have to choose from to fit in the Haddock family tree. This baby. She just realised that she was imagining a future of having this baby, she even for a second was thinking if she'd have a girl or a boy. The thought was immediately pushed out of her head when receiving her Cap and Gown, she thought she had got herself in without anyone coming over to her, but yet again she was wrong.
" Astrid!" two voices screamed at the top of their high pitched lungs. Sasha and Tanya, the two come as a pair now, conjoined by the hips. She had also wished she wouldn't bump into these two today, she could barely stand them even when Aya was by her side.
" oh Astrid honey we are so happy you are okay," Tanya started off, that fake smile plastered all over her face.
" it was such an awful tragedy that happened to our dear friends wasn't it?" Sasha finished off, Astrid nearly choked on laughter, dear friends? They only sat with them for five minutes, and they actually look like they could cry any minute now. She couldn't be dealing with this shit.
" anyway we are so glad you're okay, what we really wanted to tell you is did you know that Hiccup Haddock is coming today?" Typical of Tanya, moving on to something that was evolving around the Haddock's. Tanya was the people Astrid didn't want knowing about her and Hiccup. What she wouldn't give to just tell her now the whole story, and to top it off tell her she was carrying said Haddock's baby. But she didn't, because she didn't care about Tanya or Sasha really, all she did care about in that exact moment was her baby, what world would her child grow up in? Did she even want a baby now?
Before she could voice anything to the two 'Siamese' twins a blacked out Range Rover pulled out and out the back came Hiccup, he was with his security detail. It always seemed weird to her to see him like this, with her it was just the two of them and no one else, he kept her away from this life for as long as he could. But she was getting used to it now, seeing him with bodyguards and blacked out cars, cameras flashing everywhere he stood. Soon that would be both of them. Was her baby going to be born into this? A life in the public as a Haddock?
" speak of the hot devil himself" Sasha basically went all hot and clammy wafting her face with her hand. Pathetic the both of them. Astrid took the time to make a quiet escape while the two were basically fainting over the sight of her boyfriend – no, Fiancé. She wouldn't usually mind, if it wasn't for the fact of they would never usually go for someone like Hiccup – it was the flare that came with the Haddock name the two girls loved so much.
She wanted to speak to him so bad but couldn't, not now, it wouldn't be right.
She went to go find her friends and avoid the crowd but as it turns out her friends found her, when she turned around and Ruffnut was facing her head on, smug smirk written all over her face. " well, aren't you going to talk to him?"
Astrid didn't answer straight away, she avoided eye contact with the group of people who surrounded, luckily no one heard or no one was bothered to listen in. " no I'm not" she pushed past Ruff slowly, putting on her cap properly.
" Astrid!" Ruff wobbled after her, " he has a right to know!"
" I know that Ruff!" She stopped in her tracks taking one good look at Hiccup who was waving and congratulating those who won his internship, Ruff had won hers too, but due to the accident she wasn't going to start hers till after Christmas. She then looked back to Ruff who was still staring at her. " of course he has the right to know, I just don't want to tell him with hundreds of our fellow class mates falling all over him!" She nodded her head over to where Sasha and Tanya were talking to Hiccup along with Half the year.
" right – so you are going to tell him?" Astrid nodded. " just not right now?" Astrid shook her head.
This was going to be a long and awkward day. As they were ushered into the cathedral Astrid's mind drifted to the fact she was now worrying about two things, the tribute to her friends who nearly cost her both her life and best friend, and seeing Hiccup head on knowing she had a secret that involves him.
She was lucky though, as she sat there, heart pounding out of her chest she felt Ruffnut's hand slip into hers. They were in this together. Her eyes drifted to the head and deputy heads of the University, just like the rest of the students as they walked into the cathedral to take their seats, Hiccup was walking behind them, making extra sure he didn't make eye contact with Astrid like they had promised. But that made it even harder on Astrid, he didn't look at her, so he couldn't see the pain within her eyes. Maybe it was a good thing, best to get this graduation over with.
The head stood up first, making his way to the front, he was making a speech about the journey these students have been on and the journey they will begin for the future. Meanwhile all Astrid can do is look at Hiccup, he's sat on the side bench with a bunch of tutors and ambassadors, his eyes were glued to the front like everyone else's but yet for a split second his eyes drifted to her, he smiled for a moment before looking back towards the head.
She felt this gut wrenching feeling in her stomach, like she could throw up right here. She felt guilty for not saying anything, felt like she could cry a river she was that emotional, stupid hormones, stupid morning sickness, stupid pregnancy!
And then the tribute started, a large screen was rolled out in front of everyone and projected onto the screen was pictures of Bear and Thug, that's when Mr and Mrs Wanderer and Mrs Meathead came walking down the middle. Astrid hadn't really seen her friends parents since the accident, seeing them now only made her heart bleed more, their kids were dead, and they was still alive.
Pictures of her, Ruff, Tuff, Fishlegs and the two boys were shown, usually from nights out or study group sessions. It made her think of times when all six actually got on, like in first year and in second year when it was all fun and games. She wasn't one for emotions but she felt her eyes tear up, she felt awful, for those parents, for her dead friends. She never wanted any of this and yet here she was – the one that lived.
Xx
Hiccup couldn't remember the last time he came to one of these graduations, he remembers his clearly, him and his mates arrived with his father as he at the time was going to do the job Hiccup was doing today, shaking the hands of all those who graduated. As a Haddock at least one of them had to be here to present them. The last time he did this role was a year after his own graduation, just before shit hit the fan with Cami, the years after that it was either his mom or dad. But Hiccup wanted to do this year, after coming back out into the world last year he let his dad do the honours of last year's graduates. But this year he had a personal reason. He was stood on the stage next to the podium, there were tutors rushing around to make sure everyone could get up and move to access the stage. The students would be called by last name alphabetical order, they would all get a text five minutes before their names would be called to make their way to the cue and make sure they were all in the right order. Astrid was H so she would be near the middle, where as Ruff and Tuff where T they knew they had a while yet.
He looked through the crowds till his eyes landed on her, she didn't notice he was looking at her, her mind was somewhere else. He was worried with her, yesterday she woke up looking as pale as their white bedsheets. But he'd have time to ask how she was doing later on this evening, right now he had a job to do, and he could not risk rumours going round now when they were so close to the end. So he tore his eyes away and focused on the task at hand, shaking the hands of every single graduate. The head would announce them, shaking their hands and handing their certificates, and then they would walk a few steps towards him shake his hand before exiting the stage and heading back to their seats. It was monotonous, but it came from being a Haddock it was part of the job along with many other things.
It started off the with A's and then the B's and of course you can figure what came next, one by one people would get a text to say join the queue and made to make sure they stood in the right order he was waiting desperately for the H's to be called, just so she could see how proud he was of her.
He remembered when it was his, the look on his dad's face when he shook his hand, saying how proud he was. He wanted to do that for Astrid, he wanted her to know that someone was proud of her and was cheering her on in the background.
The H's started to get their texts, and Astrid's heart skipped a beat when she got her text. She'd gotten through the entire ceremony and tribute to the lads and now this was the part she was dreading. As she walked to the queue with others that followed her eyes avoided Hiccups completely. She knew he was looking forward for her turn but her stomach was churning, she might be good at keeping secrets but it was sickening keeping one from Hiccup.
She couldn't do it, she couldn't look him in the eye, each step she took her heart felt like it was pounding out of her chest. Was there time to run? Sit back down and sink into abyss?
Her name got called, when did she make it to the front? All eyes were on her, was this going to be her future but for a different reason? She took a step forward up to the podium where the Head shook her hand and congratulated her before handing her the certificate. Her stomach squeezed when he then pointed for her to go over to the generous Mr Haddock.
Hiccup of course was overjoyed, a smile that spread wide across his face. Pride was what overwhelmed him, he was so proud of her. He could see the nerves in her as she came walking over, but he had no idea.
She felt all clammy as she came towards him, she knew he could read her like a book, she saw the narrowing of his eyebrows as he saw straight through her. But whatever he had saw or thought he saw he pushed away, and took her hand in his like he had done to the others but quietly whispered, " your parents would be so proud Astrid, just like I am" and that's when her face turned a shade of grey/green.
Pulling her hand out of his, she watched as he gave her a questionable look, " I can't do this to you" she whispered back so no one could hear before walking past him and out the side door instead of taking her seat like the rest of them had done. He wanted to go after her, question what she had meant but by the time she had made her exit through the side door the next name was being called and a new hand he had to shake.
Xx
She couldn't go back in that god awful place, if eyes weren't already on her from the start then they certainly would be now after this. She practically ran out of there, Astrid Hofferson wasn't supposed to run!
But then she didn't have much of a choice, she ran to the closest toilet which so happened to be a single disabled toilet, and only had the time to quickly lock the door behind her before running to the toilet to throw up her breakfast and also her guilt. She had thought it would be easy to get through this with just smiling and telling everyone she was okay, but seeing his goofy face, her Hiccup, she couldn't do it! He was the one person she didn't want to lie to.
But look where that got her, sat on some random toilets floor, tears pooling out of her eyes.
Xx
He had to wait now till the end before he could even get a chance to slip away. Stood there looking like a right idiot shaking hands of every young student when all he wanted to do was follow Astrid. The only highlight was he only had to wait a little bit more before he'd get a small gap to talk to Ruff. In the corner of his eye he could see her texting away on her phone, and he'd bet any money on who she was messaging. If anyone knew what was wrong with his Astrid he'd bet big money it was Ruffnut. Maybe it was a girl thing, he found that if there was a secret Astrid was keeping, Ruff would know about it. But then after the whole story of her past coming out he thought he'd be one of the first people she would come to if she was in need of disclosing a secret. They were getting married, sharing their life together, and all he could think about was what if she was changing her mind.
These past few months of engagement haven't exactly been an easy journey. It was bumpy from day one, but after the visit to see his grandfather he thought their bond was closer than ever, even from yesterday day morning when they woke up kissing and laughing, making love in the early hours of the morning.
What changed?
" Ruffnut Thornston!" His mind snapped back into action as the blonde came to accept her certificate. He knew by the look in her eyes she knew what was on his mind.
She wasted no time in shaking his hand, gripping it firmly. " what's wrong with Astrid?" He whispered as the claps from the audience filled the cathedral.
" I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak to her yourself"
And just like that, he was back to stage one.
Xx
Astrid sat on the floor of the toilet for what seemed like hours, her brain was wracked with questions and worries. Her mind liked to play tricks on her, making her think and believe that she wasn't supposed to be a mother, she couldn't imagine it. Those kind of thoughts like to consume her, but of course those thoughts were interrupted by fast paced knocks.
" Astrid? It's me! Open the fucking door so I don't look like a twat" Ruffnut, she always had a way with words.
She shot up off the floor, unlocking the door as fast as she could so she didn't have to deal with a pissy Ruffnut. When she opened the door her eyes immediately stuck to her 6'1 fiancé who was stood behind her friend. She looked at Ruff who only shrugged her shoulders. " you brought him here? "
" look you two need to talk okay, no more of this crap about how you can't, grow some balls and talk to him" Hiccup stood silent for the duration of both blondes in conversation, Ruffnut was holding her own till Astrid's death stare came out. " okay don't kill me. Just talk to him, the poor bastard is shitting himself,"
" hey!" He shouted from behind.
But of course Ruff only scoffed looking behind to address the billionaire, " oh please, you had a sweaty eyebrow so don't give me that shit." She turned back to her friend.
" I'm your friend, your best friend, I'm basically family, I'm doing this because I love you," there was a pause, and the look on Astrid's face still hadn't changed, " don't kill me"
Her eyes un-narrowed and her frown faded. " okay, we'll talk" she looked up at Hiccup, like Ruff said, sweaty brow, but he smiled, it was nervous and awkward, but it was a smile none the less.
Ruff had somewhat slipped away as the two stood just looking at each other, it was the first time in a long time Astrid felt nervous around him. " hi" she finally said.
" hey" and Hiccup being Hiccup gave a similar awkward answer.
" you wanna come in, so we aren't in the open" she gestured to the spacious disabled toilet she had taken refuge in.
" sure" he stepped in and heard her close the door behind him. It's not the worse place to have a heartfelt conversation.
" what did Ruff say to you?" She asked all sheepish while leaning on the door.
" nothing, she's all about girl code that one" he saw her smile slightly. " look I know something is up, is it the engagement, was it too much? I thought – I thought you wanted to,"
" I do!" She jumped in before he thought too much into it. " it's not that, it's …" she paused, his face was unreadable. " Hiccup, I'm pregnant" she said it out right, she didn't want to tip toe around it anymore. His face however said it all, it was shocked and pale, he looked as sick as she felt.
" preg – er what?" He stepped closer as she held onto the door handle till her knuckles went white. " I – how did – well I know how but," he looked at her, he saw in her face what he never thought he'd see in Astrid Hofferson, she was terrified.
" we're gonna be parents?" He smiled at her and her face softened.
" I guess, if you want to be?" Her hand released a little when he reached over and lightly grabbed her wrist.
" why wouldn't I want to be?" He edged closer, pulling her hand away from the door handle. Brushing his thumb over the back of her hand, squeezing it slightly. She let herself fall into him a little, let his other hand come around her back and hold her even closer.
" because of everything that happened with Cami?" To her the thought of him having children went completely out of the window after the whole scenario with Cami, she really did think he'd need time before even thinking about it never mind it being thrown at them like this.
" Astrid, you're not Camicazi, you will never be her." She looked up at him, fingers interlocking with each other, she felt the corner of her eyes fill up but she tried so desperately to not let them fall. " and from the moment I met you, the moment I fell in love with you, I knew I wanted to start a family with you, sure it may be unexpected but," he brought his hands to the side of her face. " if there is anyone in this entire world I'd have a family with it's you Astrid, you're my whole world, and you just keep amazing me every single day." Of course his sappy speech brought those once threatening tears come tumbling to the ground. She gasped in relief, as he brought his head down to her their foreheads pushed together, just slowly taking in the quiet moment.
" I thought you might be upset, maybe even mad," her bright blue eyes met green as they stared at each other.
" I'm nervous and possibly a bit terrified," she smiled at the last bit as her emotions seemed to mirror his, " but I'm also a little excited" his goofy smile only proved this, and she completely believed him, he wasn't angry or upset. He genuinely was happy for her, for them.
" you want this then?" She looked down for a moment at her stomach and then back up at him.
" of course I do, I want this, us, our family." He paused looking all serious, " but only if you do, I will support you 1000% because I want this Astrid, but I'm not the one who's going to be physically going through it." Her face narrowed into her thinking face, she hadn't really thought much about what she'd want.
But then she didn't really need to think about it, she'd kinda already decided. " I couldn't get rid of this baby even if I wanted to Hiccup, I think I want this, no - I know I do." She saw his smile first before he came down and kissed her softly. He honestly looked happy, and she was so happy that he was happy and that she wouldn't be doing this on her own. But their happy bubble soon had to pop, Hiccups face was rubbish at hiding his emotions, and the second the thought popped into his head it was all he could think about.
" what?" For a mere second she thought he changed his mind. That he regretted his decision.
" how are we going to explain this?" He pulled back giving them some space.
" I don't think I quiet understand." She watched him walk over to the toilet seat and sit down. His hands were running through his hair before he finally looked at her again.
" you know I've been trying to keep you away from my family's … drama, it can be difficult to join this type of family, this type of world," she came over to him and sat on his lap, letting his arms wrap around her body. " I respected your wish to keep our relationship a secret because it would be easier that way, that way our relationship would be stronger and we could introduce you slowly and my family and friends would rally around you to help you fit in because unfortunately this is a family you have to fit in with. The public make you fit in Astrid." She listened as well as she could but she still couldn't figure out what exactly he was trying to say.
" I don't understand Hic,"
" your pregnant Astrid, and we maybe engaged but we ain't married yet, and I don't know how bad it will be, but I do know a way we could get around this, but you have to hear me out" she was intrigued by it she couldn't deny, her head was all jumbled at the moment but she tried to keep an open mind.
" okay, I'm listening"
Xx
Hiccup had told everyone to head on home when he and Astrid came home that day, he wasn't quite ready for everyone to know yet about their news. And when people work in your home, secrets are hard to keep.
He'd kept a watchful eye on Astrid ever since walking in, she had been pacing back and forth for like 20 minutes. She wasn't sure on the whole idea, she was worried, confused and been saying how dizzy she was feeling. He didn't blame her, it was a lot to take in.
" are you sure about this Hic, I just, I don't know if we'd actually get away with it" she was panicking, she felt it like it was a physical pain in her chest.
" Astrid at the end of the day this is going to be your decision, I just want you to talk to my Mom and then make the decision yourself." Her pacing came to a halt, she looked clammy in the face but then she explained in the car she'd been feeling like this for weeks. He kicked himself for not seeing it.
" I know but Hic, keeping our relationship a secret was difficult but a pregnancy, a baby? How long before someone spills? And then what we'd probably get more shit then than if we just told everyone now, but…" she paused, her mind suddenly shifted to something else, as he shot a look over to her.
" but what?"
" you know when I said I was I feel like this thing isn't over, after finding out about your grandfather and mine and I said I feel like this isn't over" he narrowed his eyes, truth be told he believes that it was, but he didn't want her thinking she was crazy so he promised he'd keep an ear to the ground, and he would, just not as often as he may have promised. He honestly believed that there wasn't anything more to it, but she did.
" yeah"
" I don't think this is over and what if we came out with it all - me, you, the pregnancy and … something happens, like what happened to my parents or to me and Ruff, I just know …" when he heard the first wobble in her voice he came to join her, whether she'd admit it or not she was going through major trauma, physical and emotional, and right now he couldn't afford her to spiral.
" hey, I'm not going to let that happen again okay, and I promise you it's not, but this decision, it's like you say it's a big decision, and unfortunately milady, it has to be your call." She rested her head on his chest letting out an unsatisfied sigh.
" I just don't know," there was a knock at the door, the two immediately looked that way and realised there was no one to open it. But Hiccup knew who it was.
When he came to the door he wasn't at all surprised to see his parents on the other side, but they of course were still wondering why they had been summoned and why Astrid looked like she had been crying a river.
" Hiccup," Stoick spoke, weirdly enough he spoke softly, not booming out his words, " what's wrong?"
" nothing, come on in" he immediately guided them to the living room, wanting them to take a seat before they discussed why they were here.
" Hiccup sweat heart you're worrying me" his mother felt uneasy about the entire thing, she felt something was off from the second she saw the two.
" you don't have to be, I asked you here because I need your help, especially you mom" valka stayed quiet, unsure what to make of the situation. " but before I do, I- we need to tell you something," his arm came around Astrid, his gentle soft smile warmed her a little, she didn't know she needed that kind of comfort till she received it. " but when we do just be mindful I needed you here for help"
The older Haddock's looked at each other before finally turning to their son and future daughter in law and nodded.
Now it was Astrid's turn, she wanted to be the one who told them the news, the news Hiccup had said they'd be extremely happy about. " I'm pregnant" the two parents erupted with happiness and joy, pulling the two into a huge hug with smiles and laughter.
" oh congratulations, oh I'm so happy" Valka wiped away a few happy tears before looking at her son, " but why on earth would you need my help?"
Hiccup looked at Astrid waiting for her go ahead. " I made this suggestion, about keeping this pregnancy hidden, until the baby is a few years older, I just remembered what you told me about my childhood mom, and about how you hated the pregnancy." Valka made no effort to deny it. " I know it's a lot but Astrid is the one that has to make the call and I thought if you talk you can give it to her how it is, I don't want this sugar coating mom" to Astrid, Valka's face was unreadable, it almost scared her. She was in an awkward situation, the whole decision was on her and Hiccup had made it clear this had nothing to do with hiding her, but he was just worried, worried about what people could do or say. When his mother was pregnant she had a hard time and he had been married to Stoick for a long time by then, even Astrid knew this. And when Hiccup was born to keep him and herself away from it all she even locked them away in the cabin for about five years. And Astrid knew she'd never want to do that.
Then there was the whole situation which Hiccup had weirdly enough forgot to mention, no one would higher the girl would was engaged to a Haddock, she'd be too higher ranking for that.
She knew what she signed up for, she knew the moment she realised who he was. But it still made it difficult, and her baby, their baby, they didn't sign up for it.
The two men left the girls to talk, heading into the kitchen to make some drinks and possibly have father, son talk.
" Astrid I won't lie to you, if you want me to tell you the truth than I will" Astrid had the upmost respect for Valka, she had been like a mother to her, put her under her wing and welcomed her into their family. She trusted her to not hold anything back.
" I want to know what i'd be getting myself into" the lady nodded, taking Astrid's hand into her own.
" I won't lie, Hiccup was right I did hate being pregnant. Me and Stoick tried for years to conceive and finally the gods blessed us with a son. We never tried again for another child, one of the reasons was the heart ache of waiting to see if it happened, another was I didn't know if I could go through another pregnancy on this island being a Haddock. The only way I'd go through another was if I was far away from this place." Astrid didn't know what made the shiver go down her spine, but it was cold and a chilling feeling.
" there were a majority of the people who loved the fact I was carrying a new Haddock, and a lot were genuinely nice to me. But that didn't make up for the horrible abuse I got unfortunately, now it was mainly letters, news reports, I did get a few house visits, random people coming up to me on the streets. As the times moved on the harassments towards the Haddocks got worse. Stoick only brought in a security system when I became pregnant." Astrid hadn't really seen their security system in full force. Apparently what she saw on Berserker island was only half of it.
" the random visitor on the street or to the house isn't the worst if that's what you're thinking, it's minimal. It's the letters or in your case social media posts, death threats, baby death threats and as a young mother, hormonal, possibly post birth depression, it can drive you mad. And then the little things like people coming up to you, wanting to touch your belly, people coming to your house, shouting at your window, it amplifies your fear, so much so I once believed that every person out there wanted to hurt me, hurt my baby." Astrid hadn't really got that maternal instinct she thought she might have, but she already felt protective of the little blip that grew in her stomach. She felt her arms protectively wrap around her middle as Valka carried on.
" and I thought once Hiccup was born it would be better, but you only get more protective, and paranoid that someone wants to hurt your baby" Astrid felt herself looking down at her flat stomach, not even a hint of a bump. Her baby. It still felt unreal that in about nine months five or take, she'd have an actual person, one that was half her and half Hiccup. A small little innocent person.
" sweetheart if you and Hiccup do decide to go public with everything we promise to try our best to keep you safe, but we can't promise that it'll be a smooth easy ride, in nowadays it's the social media that gets through the cracks, Hiccup should know." She knew what she meant, there was a reason why he went off the grid some times. " and if you decide you want to keep this a secret, then honey you will have mine, Stoick's, our whole crazy connected family's support. You're family darling, this baby is family, and we will keep this a secret for our family." From out of no where Astrid felt her eyes all tear up, and then the first fell they all did, streaming down her cheeks. She'd never had family like this for a long time, and to just here her say it out loud felt like all the weight and burden on doing this on her own just drifted away. Because she wasn't alone anymore, she didn't have to survive anymore, because she had family.
" I think I know what I want to do"
Xx
Hiccup was nervous, he had been the moment Astrid told him they were going to be parents, his nerves had been tumbling around like they were in a washing machine for hours. But then the moment he and his father were alone, all he could say was how excited he was. And he was truly, even after everything that happened with Cami, he couldn't imagine starting a family with anyone other than Astrid, she was his rock now, his world. And he genuinely couldn't be more excited to be a father. He was scared shitless but then his dad did say it would be strange if he wasn't.
" you're gonna be a great father my boy! It's the most rewarding job. And I'm kinda relieved you're finally making me a grandaddy" he teased lightly punching an already nervous Hiccup in the forearm.
" Finally? I'm 28 I still had time, this wasn't planned you know, but then the gods always do like to play tricks with us" looked down at his coffee, he hadn't take one sip since making it 20 minutes ago.
" aye the gods know when you're ready even when you don't, I know you're worried boy but don't be, there is no right way to be a dad, you just gotta find your way, but you'll do great" he patted his back this time, before pulling him into a slight half hug. Him and his father had a strange relationship, they butted heads like stubborn bulls but at then end of the day his dad was just that – his dad, and he loved him for the stubborn, caring, loving man he was.
" thanks dad, it means a lot to me" before Stoick could begin to get all emotional the two men heard murmurs coming from behind them, the two ladies had came out of the living room and entered the kitchen still in conversation.
" are you sure?" Valka asked.
" no not really, but I'm just going to go for it, and take the risk" Hiccup got up from the stool he was previously sat at, his eyes were instantly glued to Astrid, whatever happened between the two ladies it looked like Astrid had made her mind.
" Ast?" He was hinting to see if he was right.
" I've decided on what I'm going to do." He nodded, he'd be with her 1000% percent whatever she wanted to do, he wanted the best for her, for them both and he wanted to know she had options and wasn't trapped just yet. She was young, 23, his mother was in her late 20s when she had to deal with the shit she got while pregnant with him and she found it hard, he wanted her to know she had options. " what's one more secret?" She shrugged, and made the decision.
" are you sure?" He wanted to know she was sure about this, his life wouldn't change much but hers was going to completely change no matter what decision she finally made.
" I listened, maybe in the future if we decide to have more children I'll be stronger, older, more secure. But let's be honest I'm a 23 year old graduate - they will eat me alive." She felt him cup her face, bringing their foreheads together like they had done previously.
" I don't think that's remotely possible, but even so, I would never let that happen." He was always one for promises, she believed them instantly because she believed in him.
" I know you'd try. Are you sure you're okay with this?" She had to ask, he hated secrets and he made it pretty clear.
" all I care about is you two," a hand brushed over her flat stomach, " and that you stay safe"
" gods you're still a sap" she teased brushing her nose against his.
" I'm yours though right?" His lips teased hers, brushing past each other in a very heated embrace.
" forever Haddock"
Xx
Gertrud Meathead was a simple lady, she came from a family of nobody's and married into a well known family. However when she married her late husband Mogadon or as she called him 'Don', she realised the anger that came with the name Meathead. He was obsessed with the Haddock's ever since she met him, she blamed her father in law Dagron, he was poison and she believed that from ever since she was in her teens. When it came to her Father in law's death she saw a change in her husband, from being just angry, he became vengeful. And he was like that for years after. When Thug was only a wee child he was arrested for obstruction of justice and something about a bombing. She was mortified of course and made it her plan to stay out of the eye of everyone after that. She was glad she divorced him after she found out he was having an affair, means she wasn't tied to anything he did. But her boy, her poor boy had the same anger issues like his father. As he got older the anger for what he had lost, what his family had lost became overwhelming, his temper scared her sometimes. His drug use got out of hand for her to deal with too, her son was a sweet boy, and then he changed throughout high school.
And now look at her, visiting her sons grave. She knew his stupidity would get the best of him, drink driving? She'd never been so angry. But she was more angry at herself, she hadn't protected him enough, kept him from stupid decisions.
Cannibal island was once named Meathead island back in the dark ages. After a war with the Berkians who were 'Hairy Hooligans' at the time, the Meathead clan lost their titles and surrendered to Berk. The island was named after a smaller island off the coast, it was called Cannibal Island ever since, and it seemed ironic that her son happened to be buried here.
She lay flowers down on his grave, so young, he hated flowers though she couldn't think of anything else to lay in respect. She had no one left now, no other children, no husband, no family really, she was all alone.
That was till she felt the presence of a tall figure to her left, she jumped when they came into sight, " oh gods, what are you doing here?" She looked back on her sons grave, she had no need to panic, it was only Camicazi.
" I came to visit him" she was a strange women, that's what Gertrud thought anyway, if it wasn't for the fact that she knew Thug was close to the girl she wouldn't be entertaining a conversation. " this is their fault you know?" Mrs Meathead shot her head upwards and towards the young blonde.
" I'm not sure I understand"
" it was them, the Haddock's, they did this, them and the Hofferson's, it's happened before and it's happening again" Getrud, or Trudy as her friends called her felt like she was getting a sense she'd heard this all before.
" not you two sweetheart, you sound like Thug, like his father, his grandfather!" She went to continue but Cami interrupted her.
" they were right! Your family has been wronged by the Haddock's and I can prove it!" Trudy was about to walk away, but suddenly became intrigued.
" how?" She said with narrowed eyes. But instead of an answer she got Cami rummaging through her bag and pulling out a folder. " what's that?"
" it's proof" she flipped to the page and handed it to the older lady the file, watching her skim through the reading.
" what exactly am I looking at?" She questioned.
" it's a cover up, July 30th 1992, two years before I was born, my older sister died, she was on a family friends boat and it sunk, the friends of my family got away without a scratch but my sister, who was 3 years old! She died." Mrs Meathead felt sorry for the girl, she'd obviously grew up in a family that had a lot of trauma.
" I'm sorry, but I still don't see why this," she was again interrupted.
" because, those family friends who's boat they were on was the Hofferson's and her death was covered up!" Tension was rising with Cami.
" honey accidents do happen" she tried her best to calm down the girl but it was no use.
" no! Because why would it be covered up, why is half this file block out," she couldn't deny Cami was right, where ever she got this file from half of it was blocked out in black boxes. " the Haddock's covered this up just like the covered up the situation with Thugs grandfather, and then a month later the Hofferson's fled to the mainland and all files were completely erased that day!" Cami watched as there was a change in Gertrud, there was a chance she could finally get through to her.
" okay, I believe you but I still don't see why my family is connected?" She handed her the file back and Cami took it begrudgingly.
" because, your ex husband was arrested for obstruction of justice, not telling anyone about the bombing at the army base. But not only that, he put a hit on the Hofferson family after everything they did to his father, and to my sister…" Gertrud looked up at her, realisation hitting her hard.
" it was your mother wasn't it, your mother was the woman he fucked while he was still married to me!" She had heard enough and went to walk away from this toxic family. But Cami grabbed her arm, pulling her back.
" that doesn't matter, what matters was he wanted justice, and the Haddock's arrested him for it and brushed it under the carpet!" She was begging now, pleading the older lady would listen.
" he deserved it, he committed a crime!" But unfortunately she wasn't listening so she had to throw in a white lie of her own.
" but what about Thug?!" She gained her attention, " he found out about this, and now he's dead!" Mrs Meathead stopped trying to walk away, she just stood there wide eyed.
" no, they said it was drink driving"
" but what if it wasn't, what if the Haddock's got rid of him like Dagron, and Mogadon, covered up their tracks like my sister!" She knew she had gotten through when tears began to fall. " they aren't to be trusted, and we need justice for your family and for mine." She watched at the grieving mother nodded.
" yes, justice for my boy, but only justice Cami, I will not fall down that spiral my husband and son fell down of revenge." She had her right where she needed her.
" of course not, lucky for you, I know a secret about the Haddock's, one that they are trying to keep, and I want you to find out everything you can about it" she saw her narrow her eyes through the red raw tears.
" how can I help?" Her voice was wobbling, she was still in shock.
" what is your job again?" Cami knew her job, but she was only asking about it to just explain her reasons.
" I'm a nurse at the Haddock wing in West town clinic hospital." She answered like she still wasn't sure where this was going, but the smirk on the young blondes face said to her she would be finding out soon.
" then trust me, you are exactly where I want you to be" she held her hands with her small dainty ones. " I want to tell you a story, about a little orphan girl named Astrid Hofferson…"
To be continued …
Well that's all for this story, it has always been my plan to leave this story on a cliffhanger and to carry it onto the next only because I thought the name no longer suited the story. The main characters have now grown past Secret Billionaire Boyfriend, and lies and mysteries are just growing.
Secret Family Mysteries
Sequel to SBB. When it comes to the Haddocks, secrets is in their blood, but there are more families on Berk that have their own secrets too, there are connections that are hidden under lies and cover ups. What happens when Hiccup tries to keep his family from the threat it's always had and the one thing he holds close is placed in the middle. He can't change the past, he can only try and understand it, and find the missing pieces to this unsolvable puzzle.
Secrets!
Little family shots of our favourite family and couple, surviving pregnancy, engagement, the birth of the new Haddock heir, a glorious wedding and raising a baby/toddler, all while trying to keep it a secret. For secrets have a habit of slipping through the cracks, and a secret like this had to be kept hidden.