I do not own The Loud House.
Enjoy!
Lincoln Loud never expected to wake up to a flashlight shining into his eye.
Since when did Heaven have flashlights?
Realising he was awake, whatever was holding him, dropped him like a rock and Lincoln felt the unmistakable pain of his face meeting concrete.
And then it was gone.
He lifted his head and looked around.
Blackness and many small yellow lights.
Wait.
His eyes met many glowing yellow eyes staring back at him.
He shouted in surprise.
It said. "Your new parents are waiting to see you. Follow"
New parents?
"Your Archworld blood now," said the being. "The operation was successful. If you do not wish to be extinguished, you will follow."
And then the thing began to crawl away as if it was the thing in a horror movie.
It made Lincoln skin crawl but he was alive so he sucked it up and began to follow the thing, it's glowing eyes was a great flashlight to follow.
As he walked, Lincoln felt something scatter along his feet, making him pause.
There was a screech.
He smelled something rotten.
His heart rate sped up.
Was he in a horror movie?
If Lucy was here, she would have loved this place.
And as they continued walking, Lincoln eyes saw the sweetness of light come into view.
He didn't dare sped up though, who knows what his guide looked like in the light.
And as they got closer, the light got brighter, he closed his eyes and pushed through it, when the light eased up, he opened his eyes and saw a really nice living room.
It was dark but lit with blue flames, a winged animal with three eyes peered down at him on a clock.
He made the mistake of turning to his guide and under the light, he saw that it was somebody who had multiple faces like a dragon and they blinked back at him.
And then it crawled and left.
Lincoln shivered and turned to see the empty living was no longer empty and right in the middle was a couple with horns.
They looked normal if not for the horns and the way they were staring at him oddly.
Neither of them blinked.
Lincoln felt himself sweat as he heard the door behind him slam shut.
Was he going to die here?
He felt like a rat stuck in a cage with a hungry cat.
However, before he could start planning his escape and how to make his death less painful, what happened next shocked him.
He was picked up and hugged by the woman.
Both of them had moved fast than his eyes.
"He's so cute!" She said.
"This child really is something. His ability to remain alive is amazing." said the man.
The woman poked his forehead and for the first time, Lincoln felt two large bumps meet her finger.
But it was clear to him, they weren't going to hurt him so he felt brave enough to say. "W-Whats going on?"
While he was being smothered, he heard the woman say. "What's going on.. is that we adopted you"
What?
"Right. We were impressed with how you traded your life for your sister so we signed the papers" said the man. "You've spent the last 34 hours on an operating table having your organs replaced, your blood replaced and your horns and wings put in. You flat-lined twice"
Lincoln was stunned before he said. "You did what!?"
"Would you have loved to wake up shackled down there?" said the man, and in a burst of flames came a window before them, they looked down to see skinny people being whipped and dragged to mine something, a wall of fire separated each group, making sure it was just as uncomfortable as it was deadly.
"Oh, my God," said Lincoln.
"That would have been you," said the woman. "Your sister wasn't the only one who played with real dark magic in the past. You just don't summon one of us and expect to have a free soul at the end of it. Humans enslave us so we enslave them."
The window of horror disappeared.
"Now, I didn't know you were so comfortable in your underwear," said the man drawing attention to the fact Lincoln was down to his blood-soaked underwear.
Lincoln seeing this immediately tried to shield his flesh from their amused eyes.
These people were strangers.
"Would you like some clothes?" Said the woman.
Lincoln nodded.
She snapped her fingers and in a burst of purple flames, Lincoln found himself dressed in clothes just like Lucy's.
He screamed.
"No. That doesn't suit you" said the man and then he snapped his fingers and the fire changed him into an outfit like Lana.
Lincoln screamed again.
"No. That doesn't work" said the woman.
"Change me into an orange shirt, blue trousers and sneakers," said Lincoln.
However, both of them looked at him like he was growing another head.
"That ugly thing?" Said the woman. "Why?"
He was stunned.
"Compared to what your former family was wearing, it's just too ugly," said the man. "You looked older than me and I'm thousands of years old."
"Where did you get those hideous sneakers? Your grandfather?" Said the woman.
And Lincoln felt himself go red because indeed his favourite pair of shoes was passed down to him by his grandfather.
"Not even your old father had shoes that look like that, did your old parents take you clothes shopping at all?" Said the man. "Your blooded now, we will not see you again in those terrible clothes"
Suddenly the woman got an idea and then snapped.
This time Lincoln did not close his eyes.
Both of their eyes changed, when they saw his new outfit.
"That's a lot better," said the man.
Lincoln looked down to see that he was now wearing an orange t-shirt, underneath were expensive jeans that were a lot more stylish than his olds one and didn't expose his noodle legs and he was wearing red sneakers that were made to actually fit his feet.
A fire erupted before him, showing a mirror and he saw that they had messed with his tightly combed hair, so instead of looking like his grandfather clone, it was puffy like the rest of his family.
All of this made him look like his age, you would have never guessed he came from a family of hand me down and reworking used stuff.
"Well, he got one thing right. Orange is his colour" said the man.
And even Lori would admit, he looked good.
But Lincoln was left with mixed emotions about this new look, he had gone so long with his old one.
These clothes looked brand new, was it really fair for him to wear these when most of his family were wearing repurposed handy me downs?
"We won't let you back in those dreadful clothes," said the man, before he said. "Now, would you like to take a relaxing stroll outside with us?"
And then a door opened with flames and Lincoln saw people with horns walking, dragons torching the place, kids playing with their heads.
He took a step back and said. "No thank you...can I go home?"
Both of them looked at him in surprise.
"I mean, the Loud Family," he said. "I'm not ready for whatever this is. I would like to wake up and not expect horrific screaming and fire."
Both of them looked at each other.
"Alright then," said the man surprised him. "But. Well, give you some stuff to contact us"
And then in a blue flame, a bag with black wings appeared in the man's hand.
"This is a magical backpack," said the man. "In it, are fresh new clothes and accessories. There is a guidebook on this world and another guidebook for your body"
"You can communicate with us through a magical small mirror," said the woman. "Or by drawing a pentagram on any surface. And there is a button that opens up a door to the Archwood"
"There is also a wallet here that is tuned into your magical signature," said the man. "Every week, you'll be given an allowance. This works in both worlds"
"And we got you a bike, space saver costume and small tv.," said the woman, finishing off Lincoln heart attack. "We took a look at what you most wanted."
He was tossed the bag and Lincoln struggled to say anything for a second, finally, he found his voice and said. "Why?"
"Because your own kid," said the woman.
"Stay in the mortal realm as much as you need," said the man. "Well, be right here waiting to talk and offer a place to call home"
But that wasn't said light heated, there was something creepy and ominous about the man's tone.
And then the woman snapped her fingers and Lincoln horns and wings had vanished and a door opened up, revealing sunshine that could only belong to the mortal realm.
"Good luck," said the man and then both of them disappeared, leaving him alone with the creepy watch bird.
Tick.
Tick.
Lincoln quickly ran for the door and when he walked through it, the door shut behind him.
He turned and the smell of fire was gone, instead, he smelled sweet garbage, there was no heat on his face or the feeling of being watched.
He recognised this street, it was just around the corner to his house.
Lincoln took a breather, he slung the backpack over him and began walking, his body began fixing his walk and within seconds he started strutting like he was a model on a runway.
He passed a cat and the cat turned white, it ran off like a demon was chasing after it.
He made his way to the familiar chaos that was the Loud house front porch but what bothered him immediately was the complete silence surrounding the house as he walked down the concrete floor.
The loud house was nosey, his siblings should be talking over each other, Luna guitar had to be blasting out of the windows, Lisa room should be lighting up with explosions, Lynn should be kicking a football around and breaking stuff.
Loud house without the noise, was so unsettling to him, that he wondered if he had the wrong house.
He saw the doorbell and pressed the button and then he waited.
"I'll get it" came Leni depressed voice through the red door before him.
The door opened and he was stunned.
The sister, who was all about fashion and looking good had dropped hair, there were bags under her eyes and her dress was stained with tears.
Leni did not recognise him, instead, she said. "Who are you here for?"
Lincoln opened and closed his mouth before finding his voice and said. "Leni...can I come in?"
His voice was small but it brought life into her eyes.
"You sound exactly like Lincoln," said Leni.
"That's because I am Lincoln," said Lincoln, firmer than before, than he shouted. "I'm not dead, everybody!"
Silence met his words.
And then feet.
Lots of feet.
Lincolns' eyes went wide.
Sister stamped!
Lincoln didn't have time to turn around, all of his siblings were upon him within seconds and they dragged him inside the house in the wave of madness.
He was on the brown carpet before he realised it, and being held down by all the sisters, even Lily was helping.
Somebody shined a light into his eyes.
"Speak. What are you?" Came Lucy's voice "Why do you have our brothers voice?"
"That's because I'm Lincoln," said Lincoln. "I'm still the guy who likes to read Ace Savy in his Underwear. Lucy, you know me. Did I take the fall for you when you flushed that Pre-"
Lucy cut him off immediately and said. "That's Lincoln, alright"
And he was let up.
"I thought you were going to kill me," He said and that's when he saw Lisa with what looked like a laser in hand.
Lisa saw him look at the laser and quickly put it away with an awkward smile.
Lincoln decided to ignore that.
"Wow. Lincoln, where did you get the outfit? It's cute." Said Leni.
And that's when they really noticed the outfit.
"Oh, my other parents gave it to me," said Lincoln.
"Other parents?" Said Lori.
Everybody looked at him with raised eyes.
"Mom and dad should be here for this. It's a long story" said Lincoln.
And then he sat down on the couch, he put his bag on the table and turned the tv on.
In the back of his mind, he noticed, nobody was trying to wrestle the remote out of his grasp and that for the first time in a while, he was allowed to watch his show in peace.
Well, minus the 10 pairs of eyes staring at him around the couch, he also ignored the tugging he felt all over his body.
Other than that, it was one of the rare times he could watch his show.
"Lincoln?" Said his mother's voice.
He turned to see his parents with fast food.
There couldn't have been a more amazing welcome back.
He nodded and everybody rushed to hug him, they squeezed him tight and tears were flowing.
They didn't stop touching him for a while and when they did he sat them all down to tell them what happened.
When he explained everything to them, minus the dying part, he saw 13 wide eyes and mouths looking back at him.
"They did what!?" All of them minus the baby shouted.
Lincoln winced.
They did not take it well.
"Guy's, it's alright. I'm alive" said Lincoln.
"Lincoln. They dissected you!" Said Lori. "They turned you into a thing!"
"It's not that bad." Said Lincoln. "I'm sure Lisa can find some way to fix me."
And everybody turned to Lisa.
Lisa moved her glasses and said. "It would take many tests and analysis but in theory, yes"
That eased everybody up.
"Alright. Who's hungry?" Said Lynn Senior.
Everybody rose their arms.
Everybody but Lincoln.
Lucy and Lisa noticed.
And scene!