Summary: Shiro has a somewhat pleasant dream before he is forced into his next gladiator match. After Keith and Katie have an embarrassing conversation with Colleen Holt, Keith finally asks why Katie's Mom couldn't feel anything happening to her Dad. Katie slips up and calls Shiro, Takashi while talking to Keith.
Special thanks to Shiranai Atsune, Saskiamq, and Nati for leaving reviews on the last chapter.
Soft brunette strands glided through Shiro's fingers, as he softly smiled down at the smallest holt soundly sleeping on his lap. Much like a computer if Katie wasn't constantly doing something, Katie would fall into sleep mode and it never seemed to matter where she was. When the sleep mode clicked on, whatever or whoever she was next to would become her pillow.
Shiro never minded being one of her cushions. Getting to see the usually spirited girl become cuddly as she passed out against him, felt like a rare treat. As if this was a once in a lifetime opportunity that he was blessed enough to experience multiple times.
Much like when a cat fell asleep on his lap, Shiro felt delighted he was chosen to be rested on, getting a sense of calm as he petted her soft hair and guilt at even the thought of standing up or disturbing her slumber.
Though he always seemed to have those feelings when it came to Katie. Every time he got Katie to open up a little more, or the little genius went out of her way just to do something for him, it felt like a prize. Whether it was her affection, attention, or respect, Shiro knew it was always earned not a given.
He could understand how off-putting her blunt nature could be for people. Fully knowing it easy to understand or connect with the youngest Holt, but he couldn't help but feel every little challenge was all worth the effort.
"Is she always like this?" Keith asked, leaning against the back of the couch, curiously glancing down at Katie peacefully form in Shiro's Lap.
"Katie's like this after any long or exciting day" Shiro replied, they didn't need to whisper as once Katie was out, nothing short of an alarm could wake her up again. Her hair was so fluffy it would floof right back up as he lifted his hand, before flattening again as his hand glided over the soft strains again.
"So she's like a puppy?" Keith questioned resting his head on Shiro's shoulder, shyly leaning his head against Shiro's as he looked down at Katie's sleeping form.
Keith wasn't the best at showing affection so the rare time he did it, the action was always done with hesitation. It took a lot of time before Keith would show any physical affection at all, so the few times he willingly put in the effect to show affection always felt special to Shiro. Like watching fireworks, no matter how much you see them or how rare you saw them they added a kind of magic to any moment.
Shiro gently nuzzled Keith in return, he was always eager to encourage and absorb any moment his soulmate was willing to indulge in touch. Keith's silky hair lightly brushed against Shiro's cheek, Keith's skin as warm as summer rays against his face.
"I wish I got the chance to meet her," Keith quietly lamented.
"What?" Shiro questioned snapping his eyes open, but Keith was gone from his side. The two of them standing at the lunch site for the Kerberos mission, his soulmate staring out at him with a sad smile.
"It's okay Shiro, I can handle being alone" Keith promised though his voice held no confidence, it was obvious even Keith didn't believe what he was saying.
"It will be alright Keith you won't be alone, I promise" Shiro assured, reaching out to touch Keith's cheek, but his soulmate turned away from his touch hanging his head low.
"Lair" Keith choked out, his long bangs shadowing over his eyes.
A blinding light suddenly flashed around them, forcing Shiro to close his eyes. Once it had faded he opened them again, finding himself standing in the entranceway to the Holt house but it held none of the welcoming, flourishing, warmth he always associated with the household. The home; though it held all the Holt's usual items, felt foreboding, lonely and downright chilling. He cautiously walked through the home looking for any of the Holts.
Spotting Katie in the living room with her knees drawn up to her chest, and her back facing him.
Strange thoughts suddenly struck Shiro, when was the last time he saw Katie's eyes? When was the last time he heard Katie call him Takashi? Shiro tried to reach out, tried to touch Katie but was met with an invisible wall.
"Katie! Katie can you hear me!?" Shiro tried to call out knocking his hand against the transparent wall. Something was wrong. He had to get to her, but she showed no responses. When he paused in his banging he could hear her quite muffled sobs.
"Katie what's wrong?! Please Look at me, please let me help!" Shiro begged, banging harder and harder on the wall but Katie never even hinted that she heard him. The couch she curled up on drifted further away from him.
No matter how hard he hit the wall or how loud he screamed, Katie only became further and further away, fading into the distance. Till he couldn't see her anymore.
"Katie, come back!" Shiro cried out, collapsing against the wall "please come back" he begged.
Shiro woke up with a gasp, finding him still in the dark purple cell, laying on what was deemed a bed in this place. Taking deep slow breaths as he tried to calm himself down.
It seemed Shiro's worries and his wishes were becoming more promenade in his dreams. He tried not to think too much about his regrets, but the reality that each day might be his last kept crawling to the forefront of his mind and with it his biggest regrets.
Two most prominent ones being not forcing Keith to meet the Holts, and never figuring out why Katie had grown distant.
Shiro should have guilted or dragged Keith to dinner, even if his soulmate didn't like it. Shiro was sure the Holts would grow on Keith. It would have given Keith a chance to experience the family warmth that radiated around the four Holts. The same warmth that the Holts had shown him.
Remind Keith what it was like to have family ties. Onse that would have your back, show you compassion, tease you till your ears turned red, to be a constant welcoming if not chaotic force in your life. Just as the Holts had done for him each time they invited him over.
It's what had drawn Shiro back to the Holt home week after week, day after day.
Maybe if he was lucky, Shiro could watch the mix of confusion, and panic on Keith's face as Katie fell asleep against him for the first time. Keith, not knowing what to do, but like everyone else, would feel too guilty to move and be compelled to stay where he was. Shiro remembered the first time Katie slept on him and how he had desperately tried to stay perfectly still as she rested peacefully against his shoulder. He could recall the way Matt snickered at Shiro's confusion and awkwardness while the short brunette remained blissfully unaware.
It would have been nice to be on the other side snickering alongside Matt, as the two of them watched Keith mentally scramble on what to do with the sleeping girl.
It would have been fun to see Keith blush when one or both of the siblings teased him. Listening to Keith groans of embarrassment as Shiro laughed at Sam Holt's corny jokes. Maybe get the satisfaction of watching Keith obey a Colleen Holt order, it didn't matter your rank or training, all listened to a Colleen order while in the Holt house.
If Shiro had just made Keith come with him, just once. Keith could at least have Colleen and Katie. They would help and support him... but as things were right now. Neither female knew much about Keith outside of the stories Shiro had told them.
If that wasn't enough, Keith had no way of contacting the remaining Holt girls, even if his soulmate had a way... it would all come down to if Keith was willing to trust them and let them help him.
Shiro dearly loved Keith, but his soulmate tended to push people away, trusting in no one. It was a constant concern of Shiro's even before he went into space. Keith always insisting he could do everything on his own and didn't need a team or friends.
Then there was Katie, at one point they had been close she would show him the same affection, trust, and admiration she did for all her family. Having her treat him as if they were family felt like passing the final gate into becoming a true part of the Holt clan. Then suddenly something had changed during the months before the launch. Katie suddenly distanced herself from him. It wasn't too much of a concern at first. Katie needing to do work on a solo project, or take time to study alone wasn't unusual, but the number of different excuses she used to avoid him, quickly became a concern.
Shiro had tried asking Matt about it, the brother Holt seeming just as confused about his sister's recent behaviour. Sam Holt overheard their talk and assured them it was nothing. Telling them it was just Katie's way of coping, three people, that she cared a lot about were leaving for a long time after all.
Shiro chose to trust Sam Holt's words and leave it at that.
Though Katie going out of her way to avoid him made Shiro's gut twist painfully, he never tried to stop her. She never fell asleep against him again, purposely avoided sitting next to him at the table or making sure they didn't sit on the same couch. It had hurt, but just as he had done with Keith, Shiro didn't push the matter, letting her do as she wanted and never tried to do more.
Even on the day of Launch, Katie's hug had felt different as if she was embarrassing a distant relative she just met. Shiro was happy to get a hug from her after so long, but it held none of the energy and emotion that were once abundant with her hugs. Yet Sam Holt kept assuring him that once they returned Katie would be glued to their side for months.
As much as Shiro trusted his Captain, he deeply regretted just taking Sam's word at face value and not approaching Katie. He should have tried talking to her, asking her why she was acting so different. For all Shiro knew he could have done something to hurt her and he could have done something to help mend their bond. If Shiro had... maybe he could have gotten more chances to have ridiculous arguments based around science fiction, touch her soft hair as she slept like a kitten against him, see her honey brown eyes light up with excitement, hear her say his first name one more time.
Now the two people Shiro had grown closest to, we're left with broken hearts and aching loneliness. He had made promises to both of them, now he wasn't sure if he would get the chance to even apologize for breaking them.
Luckily during his last gladiator match, Shiro was given a small flicker of hope. He had sensed Keith calming down, felt the warmth through the bond of someone comforting his soulmate.
Keith now had a friend, someone who had helped him, while Shiro couldn't control his emotions and unwillingly forced Keith to experience everything he was feeling during the deadly match. Shiro had no idea who it was but the soft comforting sensation had felt like gaining some shade during a scorching hot day, it didn't make the heat go away but it sheltered him from the worst of it.
Sometimes he even felt the burn of self-hate that Keith often inflicted himself with or the blazing fire that was his anger disappear. Shiro was grateful there was someone out there to help ease the burn or douse the fires in his soulmate.
Was it too much to hope that person could be Katie? If it was, then it meant Keith wouldn't be completely alone, he'd have someone to support him and Katie would have a friend she could trust and rely on. It could and would never replace what they lost but at least they could have each other.
At least then he wouldn't feel as if he completely failed both of them.
"Prisoner" a robot guard called into his cell, breaking Shiro's thoughts "Stand. Your next match will begin."
Shiro could only do as the guard told him, as he stood up and followed the robot.
For now, all Shiro could afford to think about was surviving. Then maybe one day, even if they hated him, he could see Keith and Katie again.
He just had to hold on and survive.
Keith could still feel the radiating heat, lingering on his cheeks, a small glance at Katie on the other side of the couch showed she wasn't fairing much better except her blush spread throughout her whole face. They had remained sitting like this for… Keith didn't even know how long. It felt like several minutes or it could have been a few seconds, his only time of reference being that Colleen had excused herself to get ready for bed after a very long and extremely embarrassing talk around the rules of teenagers sharing a bed.
Colleen had gone into far… far more detail than she needed to, but luckily Katie had defused some of her Mother's concern when explaining he had been going through soulmate convulsions. Ms. Holt wasn't unreasonable, showing him sympathy and if he needed it, allowed Katie to help him again. Though the mother Holt laid out some firm rules when it came to her daughter being in his bed.
"I am so sorry, about My Mom..." Katie groaned out, rubbing her cheeks as if it would make her blush fade away.
"It's okay…" Keith replied, his voice cracking slightly as he spoke. "Thanks for explaining things"
"It was for both our sakes, she started going down the… baby path-" both teens groaned, gaining another wave of embarrassment for both of them. "My Mom, may not understand what it's like getting soulmate convulsions, but she knows what they are and wouldn't be mean about it. Just... kind of wish I told her sooner... but I didn't know how comfortable you would feel about letting her know."
That was honestly pretty considerate of Katie, but Keith couldn't help but feel relief that she knew when it was time, to tell the truth. Keith doubt he could mentally handle the topic was about to dive into.
Wait... why wouldn't Katie's Mom understand the feeling of Soulmate Convulsions. "I thought your parents were soulmates?" Keith questioned and Katie visibly flinched.
Damn it he should have thought before asking, Collen wouldn't feel any emotional convulsions if the captain wasn't alive...
"My… my parents' aren't soulmates" Katie answered her honey-brown eyes glued to her lap as it felt like a wall was quickly growing around her.
Keith felt shocked by that knowledge but pleasantly surprised he didn't accidentally bring up her Father's death.
"Oh… the way Shiro talked about them... I just kind of assumed, sorry" Keith apologized, Katie blinked and the wall fell apart as her bright eyes looked over at him. Surprise and fear… or maybe worry lingering in her features.
"It's alright, a lot of people make that assumption. Most seem to think that the 'best couples' are always soulmates…" Katie sighed, her body was tense like she had been preparing for a fight. He couldn't blame her, Keith understood how annoying repetitive questions could be, especially when people tended to react negatively.
"Yeah, that kind of expectation can be very... annoying" Keith agreed, he had felt the pressure of being Shiro's soulmate more times than he could count. The expectation people had for them to be 'the perfect couple' that he could never meet. The worst was when they would say Shiro would have been better off with a different soulmate or was happier when Shiro was with Adam.
"I take it people make assumptions about you and Shiro?" Katie asked, snapping him out of his brooding.
"Yeah" Keith nodded "Shiro attracts a lot of attention and that often comes with a lot of people having expectations for what 'Shiro's Soulmate' should be like."
Katie's eyes widened, glancing away and softly humming as she drifted into her mind. "I never really thought about the pressures that come with being Takashi's soulmate, but he's so popular and a poster boy for the Garrison. It makes sense that a lot of people would have their own opinions on who he should be with, much like fans of a celebrity would" she concluded.
"Takashi?" Keith questioned, he had never heard someone say just Shiro's first name before, usually he only ever heard someone say Shiro's first name when it accompanied his full name, like at a ceremony or part of an introduction.
He wasn't sure how Katie did it but her skin somehow paled as her cheeks flushed a deep pink. "Sorry, Shiro, I meant Shiro" she quickly corrected looking ashamed and on the verge of panicking. Just watching her made him feel like sharp thorns were digging into his skin.
"Katie stop," Keith said, grabbing her hand, feeling like she could bolt any second, he could practically see her mind running wild. "You didn't do anything wrong, I'm just not used to people using Shiro's first name"
Katie looked a little relieved to the point she didn't look as if she would bolt any second, but his words didn't seem to make her any less tense. "I started calling Shiro; Takashi, after getting some Japanese lessons."
Keith still didn't understand why she looked so guilty "and Shiro was okay with that right?" he questioned.
"Yes," she nodded her gaze looking far away, as her body remained tense.
"Then there isn't a problem, Shiro wouldn't have said it was okay if he didn't want you calling him by his first name" Keith tried to assure "and I think Shiro would really like having someone properly pronounce his first name."
Katie blinked glancing over at him, clearly confused.
"I can't name how many times Shiro grumbled about people mispronouncing both his first and full last name" Keith explained.
"...Have you never called Shiro by his first name?" She asked curiously.
He could only shrug "Shiro's always just been Shiro to me, I never really thought about calling him anything else"
"Shiro hasn't tried to encourage you to call him by his first name?" Katie asked, surprised.
"No, not anytime I can think of... why?" Keith asked.
Katie's mind looked like it stalled as she just stared at him blankly before her mind finally reconnected and started talking again.
"Ah, no reason," she said, glancing away from him looking more confused than ever.
Maybe it was best to get Katie's mind on something else before her thoughts started spiralling too much. Keith did have something he wanted to hear her opinion on.
"Katie, what did you expect Shiro's soulmate to be like?" He asked.
"What?!" Katie squeaked out as her head whipped towards him.
The reaction seemed a little extreme, maybe she was deep in thought and the question startled her out of it?
"Before you knew me, what did you expect Shiro's soulmate to be like?" Keith asked again.
Katie opened and closed her mouth several times before shaking her head "I… I don't know, I never really thought about what Shiro's soulmate should act like, or who they… would be," she answered, her shoulders slumping but it wasn't out of her relaxing more like a tire deflating after being punctured.
"What did you expect me to be like, back when you heard Shiro had a soulmate?" Keith asked.
"Similar to Shiro's stories about you," Katie replied plainly.
"He told stories about me?" Keith hadn't been expecting that Miss Holt mentioned that as well but for Katie to know too? Keith kind of thought Shiro would talk about the Garrison or science stuff with Katie but when he thought about it and how Katie was. Keith guessed it wasn't surprising that Shiro also talked about personal stuff and experiences with the whole Holt family.
"Yes, though after a while I tuned most of them out" Katie confessed sinking in her seat.
Keith softly laughed making her perk up a little "it's okay I did the same thing when Shiro talked about you and the other Holts, especially so whenever Matt got on long prideful rants about how great his little sister is" he confessed.
Katie groaned and laugh "I'm so sorry, Matt's terrible for that"
Her laugh made Keith's chest feel light like flower petals floating through the air, it was nice. His hand light squeezing her's, he had a strange hopeful feeling that he would get to hear it again.
Katie looked down at their hands, just seeming to recall his hand was still in hers. A sad far off look appearing on her features, as she stood up.
Keith tightened his grip on her hand, a spike of fear shooting through his system as if Katie was about to fade away right in front of him.
Katie looked a little surprised but didn't pull her hand out of his. "I should start looking through the videos and categorizing them," she told him. "That way we can start properly viewing them tomorrow"
"Right…" Keith nodded, they needed those videos, they were their only lead to Shiro and her family, so why did he still feel so reluctant to let her go. "Is there anything I can help with?" Keith asked.
Katie looked puzzled with the offer before her features soften as something flashed through her eyes "I can do this part faster alone" she explained "but if you feel anything intense from Shiro again, don't hesitate to come find me"
Right, maybe Keith was feeling… clingy because he was worried about more of that intense fear from Shiro. "Thanks, Katie," he said letting go of her hand.
"No problem Keith, partners in crime have to stick together" she smiled, giving his hair a playful ruffle as she passed him.
"Night Keith," she said heading upstairs.
"Night Katie" he replied, as he brushed his hair back in place, already missing the warm feeling of her hand in his and not understanding why he kept wanting to hold onto her.
(A/N: So timeline wise Shiro's part and Keith + Katie's part overlap. Shiro waking up at about the same time Katie stands up that's why Keith suddenly has a fear of Katie disappearing.)
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