"Tell me, who's gon' save me from myself
When this life is all I know?
Tell me who's gon' save me from this hell?
Without you, I'm all alone."
Smithsonian Air and Space Museum. Washington DC. April 2014.
The Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian had been open for only a few weeks before the HYDRA Uprising. It contained numerous artifacts and memorabilia from Captain Steven Grant "Steve" Rogers' life including: his early life, Project Rebirth, the Howling Commandos, and how he saved the lives of millions by downing the HYDRA bomber Valkryie in the Arctic. Sawyer had been here a few times before. Her grandfather would often tell her stories of the Captain, his Howling Commandos, Agent Carter, and their missions to destroy HYDRA bases throughout Europe. He had since passed away, and seeing his stories come to life had brought Sawyer comfort.
She also knew that the exhibit had a big section dedicated to the memory of Sergeant James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes, lifelong best friend to Captain America who was "supposedly", tragically killed in action during a mission to capture the HYDRA scientist, Arnim Zola.
Foggy Bottom. Washington DC. April 2014.
Sawyer had woken up early to shower only to find James asleep on the floor, no pillow or blanket.
"The couch looks like it has been slept in though, maybe he just fell off of it and didn't wake up."
However, she had often heard of military veterans being unable to sleep in an actual bed after being deployed. He looked peaceful. His breathing slow and even. Sawyer noticed the smaller cuts on his face were pink and smooth and his bruises looked faded. She knew former HYDRA assassin had been experimented on but didn't fully remember to what extent. All of the files on The Winter Soldier were still on her laptop at the Triskelion. In an effort to escape as quickly as possible when the Helicarriers started firing on each other and HYDRA agents made themselves known, Sawyer had left it hidden under her desk.
She showered and dressed in a sweater, jeans, and sneakers. Despite the noise from her morning routine, James had yet to wake up. Part of her wanted to let him sleep, but Sawyer knew he would be eager to learn more about his past and the Smithsonian closed in the late afternoon. She knelt beside him and shook his shoulder lightly. "James," she said softly, "we need to leave soon if we want to have enou-" His eyes shot open. His metal arm shot up encircling her wrist in a vice-like grip as he quickly sat up. "Whoa!" Sawyer exclaimed trying to back away but fell back on her ass, "Hey, hey, it's just me, Sawyer! You're safe!"
His eyes flicked around the room and blinked a few times when they landed on the young woman in front of him. "Sawyer?" he whispered. She nodded and his breathing slowed holding her gaze for a few more moments.
Sawyer watched fear and confusion fade from his steel-blue eyes and his face relax. His gaze just as intense as when she met him, but not in a threatening way. The word opia came to mind. His eyes had a story to tell, one full of pain and heartbreak but also resilience and determination. Sawyer almost wondered what he saw in hers. Her wrist pinched from his grip. She cleared her throat, "Uh, can I have my hand back now? I kinda need it to play piano."
James' eyes flicked to her wrist and dropped her hand with a sharp intake of breath. "Jesus, I'm sorry," he exclaimed, "Are you okay?"
Sawyer nodded, "Don't worry, no harm done." She resisted the urge to rub her wrist; she was almost sure there would be a bruise there later. "I should know better, after our initial encounter last night," she gave a small chuckle. He continued to look at Sawyer's wrist and said nothing. "No tricks," she assured catching his gaze once more. He nodded. "Another nightmare?" she inquired. He nodded once more but didn't elaborate. "I get them too," she disclosed. "Almost punched my ex once when he tried to wake me." He cocked an eyebrow at her attempt to defuse the tension and gave a breath of a laugh. Sawyer smiled standing up brushing off her jeans. "The bathroom is free," she gestured to the door behind her. "Get dressed and I'll make coffee."
Smithsonian Air and Space Museum. Washington DC. April 2014.
Sawyer had to admit she was slightly nervous at the idea of taking James to the Captain America exhibit. She had no idea how he would react. Once they reached the exhibit, Sawyer let James wander around alone. Never losing sight of him, but she gave a wide berth and enough space to take everything in without her hovering over him. Sawyer watched as he intently studied the Howling Commandos outfit replicas, Captain America's motorcycle, and then the recreation of Steve's childhood bedroom.
"A lot of these artifacts look authentic; I wouldn't be surprised if they were on loan from the Captain himself."
James wore the hoodie Sawyer had found to conceal his metal arm. Even if people didn't what the Winter Soldier looked like, a full metal arm would have attracted too much attention. The baseball cap she gave him was pulled low over his eyes, so Sawyer was unable to read his expressions. He appeared curious, moving slowly through the exhibit and didn't seem agitated until he came to the memorial portion of the exhibit and stopped in front of his portrait and bio. Sawyer made to move closer to him before he turned suddenly on his heel and quickly made his way to the exit, bumping into other visitors as he did so. Sawyer quickly followed him outside to a bench in front of the museum.
He sat with his head in his hands; breathing deeply and shakily. He was muttering to himself, "I knew him...He thinks I'm someone I'm not...I'm not the man he thinks I am..." He took another deep shaky breath. "That man is a ghost...he's...he's dead...but why does he still haunt me?"
Sawyer felt a lump in throat form as tears pricked her eyes. She hated seeing anyone in this much pain. She sat down next to him and placed her hand gently on his upper back wanting to offer him some form of comfort. James didn't move away from her touch.
"My mission...I mean...Captain America called me 'Bucky' on that airship," James said. "He said...said he knew me. Knew who I was. He told me my name was James Buchanan Barnes. He said that I've known him all my life. He said we were friends." He looked up to stare into the distance. "But I have no memories...at least I don't think I do. I think I remember things, but I have no way of knowing if they are real or not. HYDRA did things to me."
Sawyer rubbed small circles on James' back. His breathing evened out and the tension left his shoulders. "I know," you whispered. He looked at you curiously.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
Sawyer sighed placing her hands in her lap. She hadn't told him about her involvement with S.H.I.E.L.D. or her realizations; she had been afraid of how he would react. But after hearing him air out his frustrations, it would be wrong to leave him in the dark any longer. Trust had to be earned. Sawyer looked up at him. "Before the Attack on the Triskelion, I was an intelligence analyst for S.H.I.E.L.D. My job was to break down information field agents collected into key components and contribute to plans of action in order to mitigate and neutralize threats. I was 'recruited' while I was still in college...when I hacked into several of their databases searching for answers regarding the death of my sister." Sawyer scratched the back of her neck sheepishly. "Anyway, in some intelligence circles, The Winter Soldier was considered to be a myth. The idea of the Winter Soldier has always interested me; it's one of the greatest mysteries in the intelligence community. To some, it made no sense to have the same operative completing missions all over the world over the past 50 years. But, the way I see it, after the Battle of New York in 2012, a lot of things don't seem impossible anymore. HYDRA must have captured you and held you captive all this time, using their advanced technology."
Bucky nodded, as if some memories were becoming clearer. "I recognize the term Winter Soldier. Most of the time, HYDRA just referred to me as 'The Asset'." He paused turning slightly towards Sawyer, "I'm glad you told me."
She nodded, "I figure with everything you've probably been through and your current situation, you need some honesty...No tricks, just like I said." Bucky smiled slightly. They were both silent for a while. "Bucky," Sawyer used the name cautiously, and he made no move to correct her. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to help you. My skills are at your disposal. If you want, that is."
He seemed surprised at her declaration. "Why?" he asked.
"It's like I said last night," she replied. "You're in trouble and confused. I've been there. You're not alone. I want to help you in any way I can. Plus, it's not like I got much going for me right now."
His face fell slightly, "Sorry 'bout that," he mumbled.
"I don't blame you," she shook her head, "HYDRA is...was...much bigger than just you. I'm sure they would have found a way to take down S.H.I.E.L.D. with or without your involvement. None of what happened was your fault, I'm sure of it."
"You say that with such confidence," Bucky snorted.
She laughed too, "I like to give people the benefit of the doubt."
He chuckled slightly before sitting up a little straighter. He appeared to be on high alert. He subtly looked around. "Something's not right," he said lowly.
Sawyer swallowed, her heart thumped in your chest. "What do you see?" she asked, keeping her eyes on him.
"Jack Rollins..." he said evenly. "Dammit, those scientists from the bank probably told him I escaped. He's likely been sent to retrieve me."
She recognized the name, Rollins was a former member of STRIKE team, Brock's second in command. She had met him a few times when she had went out with Brock. She had never liked him much; something about his demeanor made her uneasy. Now, he was a known HYDRA agent. "How much time, we have?" she asked, her voice shook slightly. Members of the STRIKE team were efficient and lethal, especially those trained by Brock.
"Not long, I don't think he has spotted us just yet though," murmured Bucky, "we need to go."
Sawyer steeled herself with a sigh then stood up and held her hand out to Bucky. "C'mon, honey, our tour starts in 10 minutes." Taking the hint, Bucky took her hand as she helped him off the bench. Walking toward the museum entrance, Sawyer pulled his arm around her shoulders and wrapped her arm around his waist.
"You sure you're not a spy?" Bucky whispered in her ear as they walked up the steps; Sawyer shivered as his breath made contact with her neck.
"Definitely, not a spy," she whispered back. "You'd be amazed at how many women have to do something like this on a daily basis when they feel they are being followed." Bucky frowned. "Plus," she continued as he opened the entrance door, gesturing for her to walk through first as a true gentleman would, "crowded places mean fewer chances of causing a scene. I'm sure HYDRA would want to take you quietly given the circumstances."
He nodded, putting his arm around her shoulders once more as they walked through the lobby. Sawyer linked her fingers through his pulling him close. "Also it helps that public displays of affection make people uncomfortable," he mused.
"Exactly," she replied. "There should be a rear exit somewhere." Bucky nodded.
Sawyer and Bucky made their way to the back of the museum without incident.
"Now to find a new ride," Bucky mused. His eyes settled on a black Kawasaki Ninja street bike, "Perfect." He went to work hot wiring the bike.
Sawyer scoffed, "Real subtle."
"Bikes are faster and more maneuverable," he stated matter-of-factly as the bike started up. He tossed her the helmet. She shook her head before pulling on the helmet and securing the chin strap. He smirked as he mounted the bike. "Hop on, doll," he nodded to the small space on the seat behind him with a smirk.
Sawyer gave a nervous laugh, "I hope you know what you are doing, Sarge." She mounted the bike squeezing in behind him wrapping her arms around his waist tightly.
"Whatever, you do, don't let go," Bucky said backing the bike out of the space.
"Wasn't planning on it," she retorted as he moved to the exit of the parking lot. She then heard screams and saw the crowds part making a path for Rollins who had his gun raised. As he made eye contact with her, his eyes narrowed in recognition. He fired multiple times and she heard bullets whizzing past their heads as Bucky pealed out of the parking lot. Sawyer let out a small shriek and buried her head in his back.
"Probably not safe to go back to your apartment," Bucky yelled over the wind. She agreed, Rollins had definitely recognized her. It would be easy to look up her address or have Brock simply tell him where she lived. He didn't seem to be following them at the moment though which was a small mercy.
"There are some motels by The Red Room," she shouted. "We can lay low there, figure out our next move." Sawyer felt Bucky nodded in agreement. He accelerated and made his way to the freeway.
"It would be better if we got out of DC altogether. I'll run it by him when we get off this fucking death trap."
Sawyer kept her head buried in his back, the sudden drop in adrenaline made her realize just how close of a call that was. She didn't want that to happen again.