"There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he"
Newark, New Jersey. April 2014.
Sawyer managed to talk Bucky into stopping at an airport hotel in Newark, New Jersey right outside Manhattan citing the sun wasn't up, and most likely her contact was not even awake yet. Bucky didn't appear fatigued, but he had been driving through the night. They had been awake for almost a full 24 hours. They needed rest, if only for a few hours. Sawyer sat against the headboard of one of the double beds staring blankly at the entertainment center; her eyes unfocused as she retreated deeper into her mind.
Had it really only been 24 hours since she made coffee in her apartment? Since visiting the museum? It seemed like a lifetime ago. Sawyer had a strong suspicion that days such as yesterday would become more common if she continued to stay with Bucky. Could she handle it? Was she strong enough? The world had become so strange in the last few years. Aliens, superheroes, and demigods had made themselves known. Yet, Sawyer's life had continued to remain relatively ordinary...until now. An extraordinary life is what she had wished for since she was a child. Now that it was literally in her lap, did she still want it? At this point, nothing held her back but her own hesitation and anxiety. The unknown was frightening; the known was comfortable.
There were also practical things to consider. Sawyer was certainly high on HYDRA's hit list after yesterday's events. To leave Bucky would mean becoming relatively unprotected once more. If HYDRA captured her, who knows what they would do to her in order to obtain the information they wanted. It would also mean Bucky would be alone, again.
Sawyer had flipped through her files on The Winter Soldier while on the road. HYDRA viewed him as an object, an asset, not some prized pet. They completely ignored the person inside, treating him like a machine. The brainwashing. Years of cryo-sleep. No control. No agency. No person should ever have those experiences.
Sawyer also couldn't deny that she was drawn to him, in other ways. Her body said it loudly whenever he was near. Those tiny shocks whenever their hands touched. How easily their arms wrapped around one another at the museum. How she shivered when he whispered in her ear. He was attractive, dark, and mysterious. His piercing blue eyes were enticing and all-encompassing.
Sawyer couldn't leave him. Not now. She would never forgive herself if she did. More over, she didn't want to leave him. Since that night in the alleyway, Sawyer felt as those their lives would be intertwined forever. In what way, she wasn't sure.
The sound of the door clicking shut jolted Sawyer out of her thoughts. A subtle heat crept up her neck. She pulled the collar of her sweater a little higher.
"All's quiet," Bucky announced as he moved into the room pulling off his hoodie and ball-cap.
"Good," Sawyer said running both hands through her auburn hair before reaching over to empty the laptop bag onto the bed. She needed something to occupy her hands.
"You should sleep," Bucky said as he lowered himself onto the other double bed.
"Not tired." It wasn't a lie; Sawyer's thoughts were still racing, making it impossible to relax. "I don't think I have completely processed what happened yesterday. I need time to wind down. You sleep for now. I want to go through my computer, run a few diagnostics, and consolidate some files."
"Are you sure?"
In her peripheral, Sawyer could see him eyeing her carefully. "Mhmm," she hummed. "I'll wake you in a couple of hours."
A few moments of silence passed.
"Don't be afraid to wake me up earlier if you need to."
Sawyer nodded as she started the laptop's boot-up sequence. "Sweet dreams, Sarge."
By mid-morning, Sawyer felt her eyes droop heavily with exhaustion. Even with the events of yesterday, her laptop had remained in perfect working order. As Bucky slept, Sawyer managed to put together a consolidated file on The Winter Soldier on a spare tablet. It wasn't much, but she planned a full work-up on all files Black Widow had released on the internet once they moved out of immediate danger.
Sawyer packed the bag carefully before padding to the bathroom. She caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror. She looked like shit. Her hair was tangled. Her face was dirty. The circles under her eyes were more prominent. And she was sure she must smell.
Sawyer started the shower, they had paid for the room might as well use it. She removed her clothes and set them on the counter. She made a mental note to make a trip to the nearest big box store for at least some replacement underwear as she stepped into the shower. The warm water relaxed the tension in her shoulders and neck. She needed this. Sawyer bathed and ran some conditioner through her hair to work out the knots. She added toiletries to her internal shopping list as she turned off the water.
Sawyer wiped the condensation from the mirror and eyed her reflection. The color had returned to her cheeks; she looked more relaxed. "Better," she mumbled throwing her wet hair in a bun. Sawyer redressed in her jeans and tank top deeming her sweater to be too dirty to sleep in.
Entering the room, Sawyer noticed Bucky sitting up cleaning the guns he had taken from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s headquarters. "Good morning, Sarge," she smiled. "Sleep well?"
"As can be expected," he yawned. "Your turn." he nodded to the other bed.
"Don't have to tell me twice," Sawyer said as she pulled back the duvet. "Also, here I have this for you." She waved the tablet at him.
"What's this?"
"I consolidated all of my files on The Winter Soldier for you to review if you wanted." Bucky moved gun parts out of the way to make room for her to sit next to him. As she sat down, Sawyer couldn't help but notice how nice he smelled. Gunpowder, steel, and musk. She cleared her throat nervously. "You can find them here," she said touching an icon on the screen which opened up to a library of various documents. Bucky tensed slightly at the sight of various pictures and newspaper headlines. Sensing his apprehension, Sawyer closed those folders. "But, if you don't want to pull on that thread just yet," she tapped another icon and opened the e-book reader. "I downloaded you some books: fiction, science, history, etc. I recommend The Martian; it's one of my personal favorites." Sawyer offered him the tablet.
"Interesting," he eyed the device, fascinated.
"I still prefer paper books," she mused moving toward her bed. "I love the smell."
"Me too," Bucky agreed. "The Martian, huh?"
"Mhmmm," Sawyer hummed, settling down under the covers. "Man gets left behind on Mars and has to figure out how to survive. It has some great one-liners and most of the science behind it is sound." She closed her eyes. "Very well researched..."
"Sweet dreams, doll."
A bright thin beam of sunlight streaming in through the small gap in the curtains woke Sawyer. She glanced at the clock – it was almost noon. She sat up and stretched glancing around the room. The go-bag had been packed and the tablet lay on the bed. Rubbing her eyes, she heard the door open.
"Sleep well?"
Sawyer blinked looking towards the voice, Bucky stood at the end of the bed with two cups of what smelled like coffee.
"Is that coffee?" she croaked, her voice still thick with sleep.
Bucky nodded handing her a to-go cup of steaming liquid. "I didn't know how you liked it so I grabbed a bunch of what I think is sugar and these tiny milk pods." He emptied out his pockets onto the nightstand between the beds.
Sawyer smiled as you eyed several different colored packets of various sweeteners, flavored creamers, and a few stirring straws. She picked up five packets of sugar and dumped them into her cup. "This is just what I needed," she said stirring the coffee. "For future reference, I like it black with a shit-ton of sugar." Sawyer sipped the warm liquid with a smile.
"Good to know," Bucky smiled.
"What about you? How do you take your coffee, Sarge? Just in case, I decide to return the favor one day."
"Not really sure," Bucky said absentmindedly stirring his coffee. "I think I took it black. During the war, things like sugar and milk were rationed so we were careful with what we used those things for."
"You remembered more?" she asked curiously.
"Bits and pieces," Bucky admitted. "Nothing too big, I think...I remember receiving my draft notice...hot dogs on Coney Island in the summer...dancing in jazz clubs...and always looking down alleyways for someone."
"That's a start," she mused.
"Yeah..."
They were silent for a while. Sawyer got the impression that maybe Bucky remembered more than he was letting on, but she didn't want to pressure him to disclose something he wasn't ready to. He had said he wasn't sure if what he was remembering was real or imaginary. However, she wanted to help him in any way she could.
"Well, we are headed into New York," Sawyer stated. "The files that I gave you said you grew up in Brooklyn. I don't know how much has changed since the 30s and 40s, but maybe if we went and walked around for a while something will stick out."
"I think that would be a good idea," Bucky nodded. "We can go after we meet with your contact."
Sawyer nodded, "Speaking of which." She downed the last of the coffee and dug out the scrap of paper that contained various contact details from her trashed cell phone. Using the hotel phone, she dialed a familiar number.
"Hello?" came a cheerful voice from the other end of the line.
"Hey, Trish, it's Sawyer."
"Sawyer?! Oh my god! It's been so long since I heard from you! How have you been?" Trish exclaimed.
"I've been okay," she minimized. "Things have been a little crazy."
"You're telling me! I saw what happened to S.H.I.E.L.D. That's so fucked up! I'm glad you made it out okay!"
"Yeah, me too...I am actually nearby. Is Jessica around?"
Trish was silent for a moment. "I haven't spoken to Jess in a while. She felt she needed to get her life in order after what happened with Kilgrave. She's opened her own private investigation business. I can give you her address if you need it. She should be home."
"I would really appreciate it, Trish. I need her help with something. If you aren't busy, I can come and see you later."
"Unfortunately, I have to leave tonight. I have a meeting with a radio producer in LA tomorrow to talk about expanding the reach of the radio show. Are you going to stick around New York?"
"I'm not sure," Sawyer said, eyeing Bucky who had turned his attention back to the tablet. "I'll keep you posted."
"Sounds good. I miss you."
"I miss you too," Sawyer smiled sadly. "I'll try to be better about keeping touch."
"I'll hold you to it."
Trish gave Sawyer Jessica's address and made her promise not to tell her where she got it. Sawyer agreed, not wanting to get in the middle of the adoptive sisters' issues.
"She should be home for the rest of the day," Sawyer said to Bucky as she finished writing down the address. "You ready to go now?"
"Sure," Bucky said placing the tablet in the go-bag. "One question though."
"Shoot."
"What in the world is disco?"